AN: I really got into listening to Skillets 'Comatose' over and over again and I had to write something or I'd go mad. Personally, I can imagine a duet between Xieren and Liang Fei singing comatose with the latter not understanding that he's being confessed to by the former. It's very like him.

Also, special thanks to RedEmber for editing this chapter~

*****

Liang Fei had no idea what the aftermath of his decision was going to be. He'd chosen to stay by Xieren's side but couldn't bring himself to do any more than that. His tongue burned to reciprocate the younger man's feelings, but...

To do so would be selfish.

His reason for being at the moment was to make Xieren happy. If being his lover made him happy, Liang Fei was willing. He loved Xieren, after all. Despite all his attempts to keep his distance, he fell in love with his smile and sweet words.

Yet, like a virus, his insecurities crept up, nipping at the bubbles of elation he felt every time he heard those sweet three words.

I love you.

It was maddening, fighting against his desire to open up to Xieren. Yet his only solution was to keep silent, accepting each confession with a nod. He could tell Xiren wasn't pleased about it, but he wouldn't understand. How scary it was to open one's heart after being rejected so often. The fear that speaking those words back would make the possible break up hurt all the more.

Now, he wouldn't be so callous as to think Xieren would be easily swayed, but he knew very well how relationships went. Even when both parties loved each other, conflict very easily arose and caused tension. As such, he chose to give Xieren an out.

As long as Liang Fei kept his feelings under wraps, Xieren would feel no obligation or guilt if things went awry with their relationship. It would be easier and his lover wouldn't have to feel any need to stay with him out of consideration for the elder.

This eased his unsettled heart and allowed him to lay with the man without guilt, assured he wouldn't be a burden.

Had he known how coldly Xieren had dismissed his previous lovers, ignoring their love laden pleas, he might have thought better of this plan. But in the elder's mind, Xieren was a kind and considerate man. He might be cold and cruel in the eyes of others, but to Liang Fei, Xieren was the man who would take any opportunity to hold him and make him feel loved.

It was a novel feeling, to have that kind of reassurance being given so freely.

Now some might think his thoughts contradictory, being cruel in his selflessness, but his mind truly did think this the best way forward. His main goal was to assure Xieren's happiness and comfort. He was sure Xieren would understand if he ever learned of his thoughts.

***

Xieren was livid.

Shizun finally accepted him, hearing his confession and returning to his side. He should have been happy with just that, but...

Shizun was being an idiot again.

For reasons he could guess pretty easily, Shizun never reciprocated his feelings. Every declaration of love was met with a nod or hum. It was clear he wasn't going to say those words back. In any other situation, Xieren wouldn't have minded, preferring his lover to know to keep their own feelings to themselves, but-

Shizun very clearly loved him back!

Xieren wasn't sure how he'd missed the clues before. Despite his master's expression being stoic, he wasn't good at hiding his feelings. Subtle clues made his master's feelings painfully clear. Clenched fists for stress. Furrowed brows when he was mad. An averted gaze when he was nervous.

All of it was so cute and had Xieren looking forward to each newly discovered expression.

Shizun's expression when he confessed was always the same. Averted gaze, clenched fists, and a new trait, biting his lip.

Shizun was holding something back.

It was maddening, seeing the elder open his mouth to speak before biting his lip and looking away. He wanted to hear him say the words back. He thought if he said he loved the man enough, it might slip through but his master was a stubborn bastard, staying as he was and nodding in response.

Xieren wanted to roar in frustration!

He'd imagined this so many times over the years yet now that the day had come, he wanted to tear everything around him apart.

His expectations weren't even that high. All he wanted was to hear the elder say those words and be honest with him. It was true he had hidden things from Shizun but not knowing what was in his lover's head was distressing.

He was happy to be a hypocrite as long as Shizun stayed with him.

Now he just had to pry his partner's secrets from him so they could move forward at long last. So they could live their life together.

***

Life should have gotten easier after Liang Fei accepted Xieren. They were together and Xieren hadn't changed from their time as pretend lovers. He was just as doting and considerate. They still slept together regularly, though many nights they just laid in each other's arms until the other fell asleep.

It was nice and Liang Fei had no real problems with how things were now.

Truly, there was only one thing that had changed.

That one thing was the addition of Suyan, the child Liang Fei had brought home. The demon boy was what one would expect from a child raised in an environment where others hated him. He was standoffish and quick to snap at anyone he didn't know, which was everyone.

The only people he felt comfortable with were Liang Fei and the beast that the elder had so rightfully named Fluffy.

He'd gotten strange looks when he so casually called out to the fearsome beast by the name but he paid it no mind. People just didn't understand his exceptional taste in names.

Xieren chuckled when he said this, confusing him. Suyan only cuddled with Fluffy in response, not even reacting to the name.

Truly, what most people focused on was Suyan's address of Liang Fei.

After that first night with Xieren, the elder tiredly dragged himself to the dining room only to find a small body rushing into his arms.

"Father!"

Silence fell as everyone stared at the duo.

Father? Who, Lord Fei?

Was this child truly the son of this man? Since when?

Liang Fei, left stunned, said nothing as Suyan pressed in close. The scent of the demon king was strong, but he could just barely smell the human's scent.

After an evening surrounded by strangers, that was enough to drain the tension in the child.

Liang Fei, not really thinking about it, hugged him back. Despite his confusion, Suyan was being cute, so how could he not hug him?

Xieren, who had walked in with him, didn't feel the same.

"Shizun, were you lying to me?" Xieren growled, his scowl deepening as he pulled the child from Liang Fei. He held Suyan by his collar like a disobedient puppy, not taking his eyes from his beloved. "How do you have a son?"

Liang Fei was quick to deny this.

"I don't. " He insisted. "I have lied to you, but not about this."

"So you admit it?" Xieren huffed, looking displeased. "How do I know you hadn't begotten a child in all this time?"

"I..." At that, he wasn't sure how to respond. Suyan was the perfect age to have been conceived between his disappearance and the present. To make it worse, his sudden disappearance could easily be tied to him trying to reunite with his illegitimate child.

That is, if no one paid any mind to all the traits he and Suyan didn't share.

Suyan was what others would call an albino, with pale white hair that matched the moon and red eyes. His skin was only a shade paler than Liang Fei's and had a very abrasive feel to it, attributed to his life of poverty.

At least, that was the case when they had arrived. The Suyan before him now shared so many features with Liang Fei, they might very well be clones. It was so jarring, Liang Fei wasn't sure who he was looking at, at first. The only reason he recognized the child was the familiar feeling he got from Suyan.

The feeling of looking into an abyss.

When pressed later that evening, Suyan explained his reasoning.

"It was the only way to justify me staying with Uncl- I mean, Father." He explained, correcting himself. "They wouldn't let me get near you otherwise."

"And your appearance?"

In all honesty, the child looking so much like him was creepy. As if sensing this, Suyan's hair darkened, taking on a blue black sheen.

Just like Xieren.

At his look of surprise, Suyan smiled with pride.

"You'd be surprised how easy it is to trick the conscious mind with little nudges from the unconscious." He explained with a smile.

The elder shivered.

Dream demons, Liang Fei was discovering, were scary. He could finally understand why everyone was so wary of them. If they could just make people think the things they were seeing were real with so little effort, what things could they do later down the line?

He'd have to guide this child well.

"Don't make trouble for anyone." He chided, staring down at Suyan. The child, as if truly being spoken to by his father, stood up straight, his eyes trembling at the tone. "I don't mind being your father but you had better behave yourself."

"Y-yes." He mumbled, staring down at the ground.

Seeing this, Liang Fei relaxed, petting the child. The only good thing was that his skills only worked on weak willed people. Those with little to no defenses against illusions or mind altering abilities. Much to his surprise, not many had that kind of defense. Some of those who did were even more shocking.

Xinyi, who had apparently been quite adventurous in her youth and had dabbled in mind altering herbs, had gained an immunity at some point.

Xuejie, as a 'reader', could see past the trick fairly quickly.

And Xieren was the protagonist, so of course he could too.

Though it did beg the question why he was so unreasonable before.

He was just a child! There was no need to act like that.

Ah, having the love of a demon king and having a son shouldn't be so stressful~

***

Liang Fei, somehow becoming the mediator between the two, scolded Xieren for manhandling Suyan. While he understood the juniors concerns, to act like this at the dinner table was inappropriate.

"Later." He whispered in Xieren's ear, missing the subtle shiver that went through the man's body. He meant only that they would talk about this later but Xieren heard something different.

Xieren rubbed his ear gently, his heart racing at the notion of 'later'.

Released from his hold, Suyan deftly landed on his feet, clutching Liang Fei's sleeves like a scared child. The only thing that ruined this illusion was the glare the child sent Xieren's way.

Xieren glared right back.

It would seem that they were destined to be enemies.

The meal between them was.. Awkward, to say the least.

Liang Fei had hoped they would have a meal with Xinyi and Xuejie, so it would less intimate but for reasons unknown to him, both of them were busy.

This left the elder in the awkward situation he was in now.

Suyan, the obstinate child he was, clung to Liang Fei like a leech, drawing the elder's attention often.

"Father, what is this food here?

"Father, when we are done here, we should visit Fluffy and-"

"Father, uncle is glaring at me again! He's scary~"

Father this. Father that. Wasn't he way too comfortable calling him that?!

Moreover, what happened to the stubborn child who declared himself the strongest demon? Wasn't this a bit too shameless?

Yet, despite all this, Liang Fei still found him adorable, liking this side of him as he indulged the child. The same way one would melt when being nuzzled by an adorable animal despite being bitten mere moments before just because of how cute it was.

Truly, Liang Fei was too easy to sway.

Xieren, watching this, felt absolutely furious.

Not because Shizun was being monopolized by a child. That was to be expected. Shizun adored children and would obviously prioritize them.

No, it was the fact that this damn brat clearly knew this and was taking advantage!

The sly way he referred to the men made it clear who this brat valued more. And the subtle favoritism was definitely fooling his naive master into spoiling the brat.

Somehow, this brat had grown arrogant in only a few hours.

"Brat." He muttered, rolling his eyes.

Suyan, to his credit, showed no fear as he turned to him. Red eyes leveled with Xieren's gold eyes, his gaze cool.

The 'innocent' smile that bloomed on the child's face would fool anyone not listening to his next words.

"Uncle, I think it would be very unbecoming of a king to feel so threatened by a child that he must demean them upon their first meeting."

"Oh?" Xieren cocked a brow, feigning confusion. "I don't recall stating that you were a brat. Why did you assume I was referring to you?"

Suyan's smile didn't falter in the least.

"Surely his majesty wasn't referring to father, the only other person in the room?"

"Of course not. But Shizun and I are adults in a loving relationship." He replied, giving Liang Fei a heavy look before impassively turning back to Suyan, all of his gentleness gone. "Perhaps such a helpless child who can't even eat by himself would be better off with a vassel to serve them."

"Are you claiming that the dining room is not an appropriate place for a child? Can I not eat here?"

"You are a guest of Shizun, so I wouldn't dare. But if you don't want to cause him any undue shame, perhaps you should learn to wipe your own mouth lest others think Shizun is a vassal."

"Father is-"

"Shizun is-"

The two continued to argue, leaving the elder sitting between them bewildered.

W-why were they fighting?

"Xieren." He interjected, feeling a bit tired despite how early in the day it was. "There's no need to be concerned. As far as anyone is concerned, Suyan is my child. There is nothing wrong with caring for him."

He turned to Suyan, pinning the snickering child on the spot with his glower.

"And Suyan, please be more respectful." He gently scolded. "Xieren is your king and this is his castle. Even as my guest, you are being too rude. Be more respectful."

Both males continued to glare at each other before huffing as they crossed their arms angrily.

"Yes, father."

"As you wish, Shizun"

They both grumbled in unison. Satisfied with their level of remorse, Liang Fei reached out to hold Xieren's hand. He knew it must have hurt his pride to be scolded and was happy his lover was mature enough to not be too proud to concede.

Gone were the days of the ever prideful Xieren who challenged him to fights.

Even after all this time, Liang Fei still assumed Xieren hated him in the past. Never would it occur to him that the ever stubborn Xieren was only doing all that to get the distant man's attention.

This fueled his assumptions and made him, ironically, like Xieren more. Going from hate to love was something Liang Fei felt grateful for. If his feelings were unrequited, wouldn't that be just sad?

Xieren, on the other hand, felt his chest warm as he intertwined their fingers. While he was still mad about this daring child, holding Shizun's hand was enough to melt all of his worries.

As long as this hand would always hold his, he'd be fine with whatever little nuisance his master brought home.

Suyan was left off to the side, wanting to cough up blood. He was too young to feel the bitterness of eating dog food, but couldn't help but feel annoyed at being ignored.

He was right here, damn it! He thought, looking away as the two continued to gaze into each other's eyes, in disgust. Couldn't you at least think about those around you?!

[AN: Dog food is a slang term for the self-pity of single people (humorously dubbed "single dogs") triggered by the public displays of affection by couples online or offline.]

Liang Fei seemed to sense Suyan's disgusted gaze. Feeling self conscious, he took his hand away, much to Xieren's chagrin.

Xieren glared at the child.

Suyan glared right back, annoyed because he was being ignored by these dreamy eyed adults.

"Ah, did we bother you?"

"Grown ups being all lovey dovey is gross."

Ah, Suyan was at that age when romantic stuff was still gross. Had he been in Liang Fei's world, he was sure the child would be sticking his tongue out and playing pranks on girls he liked.

"Yes, well Xieren and I-" Liang Fei started to explain but was cut off by Xieren.

"We will be as 'lovey dovey' as we wish!" Xieren declared, pulling Liang Fei close and pressing his lips to the elders. While he refrained from moving his hands as he liked, the kiss itself was anything but chaste.

Liang Fei melted into his kiss, responding with a similar fever, if not more reserved due to his nature. If not for the groan of disgust from Suyan, Liang Fei might have pressed Xieren down himself.

That would have been mortifying!

Xieren didn't mind Shizun moving away, as he expected. Still, this didn't stop him from peppering any exposed skin with light kisses.

"Can't you guys just wait until you're alone?!" Suyan complained, wondering if this was what normal children felt when they saw their parents kiss. Surely this disgust and embarrassment wasn't unique to him, right?

"If you have a problem, you are free to leave."

"I have things to discuss with father!"

"Oh? Then speak."

"It's none of uncle's concern."

"Everything that happens to Shizun is my concern."

"As a master or as a partner?"

"Both."

Liang Fei sighed, feeling that this was going to devolve into another argument if he didn't intervene.

"Xieren, we do have things to discuss. Alone."

Xieren stared down at Liang Fei, his brows furrowed. It was hard to read his expression, as it seemed to be a mix of confusion, anger and hurt. Liang Fei wanted to reassure him that there was no need to feel hurt but Xieren's next words stopped him.

"Does this have anything to do with the secrets you're keeping from me?" He asked, his tone level and hard to read.

Still, Liang Fei wanted to be honest with the man now.

He answered "Yes."

"You won't tell me?"

"Not yet."

"Then when?"

"After."

Xieren's eyes narrowed. "After what?"

"...After." Liang Fei mumbled, looking away.

He couldn't tell Xieren the truth. If he learned what Suyan did, he was sure Xieren would cast the child out.

And that was the best case scenario.

He needed time to devise a proper excuse so Xieren didn't kill this child. He wouldn't be able to sleep if he allowed such a thing.

"I promise you, we'll talk after I settle a few things." He explained, intertwining their fingers again. "A lot is going on and despite everything between us, I am still an elder. I can't let you settle all my affairs for me."

He knew Xieren wanted to say something but was wise enough to remain silent. Lover or master, he understood a man's pride as well as anyone.

***

It took quite a while to get Xieren to leave them alone long enough to talk after that. Xieren was obstinate, wanting to know who Suyan was and why he was calling Liang Fei father.

Liang Fei felt just the same but there were other matters to attend to first.

Mainly the nature of their relationship.

They chose to talk in the stable, as it was mostly secluded due to the nature of the mounts housed within.

There were no horses or the like in the Darklands, as its air wasn't suitable for such creatures. Instead, the beasts were chimeras, creatures with the features of various beasts.

The furry cat/bull that Liang Fei had taken with him on his trip was one such creature.

Upon spotting them, 'Fluffy' jumped up, trotting in place as it noticed their approach. A subtle purr erupted from his large body as Suyan wrapped his short arms around the beast's large head.

In truth, Suyan just grabbed hold of the beast's horns and hung on them like an ornament.

The sight of the child hanging from the beast's head with his feet off the ground was adorable.

Liang Fei mildly softened at the sight before recalling why they were there.

"Suyan"

"Mn?" the child absently mildly responded, still swinging from Fluffy's horn.

"Is there something you want from me?"

"Me? Do you no longer want me here? Am I a nuisance?"

"A nuisance?" Liang Fei stopped to think about it before shaking his head. "Not really. I just feel uneasy considering that you had originally intended to use me as ransom."

Suyan dropped to the ground, staring up at the elder. Fluffy, sensing the mood shift, nuzzled him. The child responded in kind, pressing in close. After a moment, he turned back to Liang Fei, who watched him with his usual cold look.

"That..."

"I ask that you not waste my time telling me you were forced or had no choice." Liang Fei interjected, recognizing the tone. "You have shown me today that you can indeed change disadvantages into advantages with little effort. I won't believe you."

"Ack, father is very shrewd when he wants to be." Suyan jokes, though his fists clenched at his sharp words.

It is true that with his abilities, he could have just gone somewhere else. He'd learned long ago how to survive on his own. Even with minimal skills, he could find a suitably safe place to live before he actually starved.

So why did he go along with the plan? Why did he betray Liang Fei?

Simply put, it wasn't something he really cared about. People other than himself weren't worth his thoughts as they either feared him or tried to kill him. As such, being asked to lure in some guy wasn't something that would wound him any.

In his mind, it wasn't even a betrayal.

Father, at that time, was just some guy. There was no reason to care as he (LF) would just turn on him (SY) like everyone else.

Did he regret his choice? Obviously, but the past was the past. What could he really do about it now?

"I'm sorry."

"..."

Liang Fei and Suyan stood on opposite ends of the room silently, as the words were all that could be said.

There was no assurance of forgiveness.

Liang Fei wouldn't forget about it.

But the air around him was a lot less tense. While the matter was far from settled, a show of remorse was enough to move past it.

At least for now.

After not getting a response, Suyan felt nervous. Was his apology not enough? Then wouldn't Father abandon him?

He didn't want that now that he finally found a nice person!

"W-what about our deal then?" He cried, scared the elder would truly cast him away.

Liang Fei blinked, confused. "Deal?"

Suyan blinked with surprise.

Eh? Had father already forgotten?! It's only been a few days!

"The one where I help you find the spring?" He stated, watching the elder nod with understanding.

Oh right, that was a thing, wasn't it. Liang Fei thought, nodding. With all the drama with Xieren and his temporary imprisonment, he'd actually forgotten all about that. He was finally close to regaining his strength from his second life. But he still didn't know how to find the spring.

Voicing this, Suyan lit up.

"That's why you should keep me around." He insisted, stepping closer. "I told you before you can find it anywhere, but it will take a lot less time if you have me."

"How?"

"The spring is in the land of dreams. Any mind can locate it from anywhere but it's easier if a dream demon guides you." He explained, smiling with pride. "Otherwise, you'll be led astray by idle thoughts and dreams."

Ah, so that's what he meant when he said it could be found anywhere but hard to find. No wonder no one was able to complete the ritual. If one had to find a dream spring, it would have to be difficult.

Moreover, who would even think that the spring they needed to find was in one's subconscious? Boy, that supposed god of reincarnation is a shrewd man for having made such a failsafe.

Somewhere in the universe, a certain god shivered, his wife looking on with confusion as they stood beneath the intense sun.

***

The next morning, Liang Fei woke up alone. Xieren was annoyed when they went to bed but a few well timed kisses between his words cooled the man's anger until they were rolling about the spread.

The fact he wasn't here meant Xieren was busy. While he felt a bit sad at waking up alone, he was proud of his lover for being diligent.

Well, only to a certain point. Afterall, he failed to resist Liang Fei's stalling tactics. His conversation with Suyan was still kept from Xieren, though he assured the man that Suyan wasn't a threat to anyone. Liang Fei wasn't sure if Xieren believed that but it was settled with a particularly distracting action that left Xieren with no desire to pursue the subject.

(AN: Liang Fei has clearly learned how to distract his man with the promise of pa-pa-pa)

As for Suyan, the child was treated as a guest, though his treatment was on par with Liang Fei's. Hearing that the consort of the king had brought a child, the servants rushed to shower the child with treats and favors. While a few still saw Liang Fei as a temporary liaison, many knew just how deep their kin's affections ran and treated all those connected with him with reverence.

This pleased Liang Fei, who left Suyan with them as the sky darkened. The boy knew better than to question it, enjoying his position and thanking Liang Fei for not abandoning him. He promised to not cause any trouble, even offering to shift his appearance to further resemble Liang Fei and perhaps mix Xieren in as well.

As if he were the child of Xieren and Liang Fei.

To say that the thought wasn't appealing would be a lie.

Despite that, he did tell Suyan to return to his original appearance. As convenient as it was, he didn't like the thought of the child changing his appearance for others. He didn't want Suyan to think of his appearance as a problem.

Suyan was still a child, after all, so as the adult in his life, it was his duty to guide him.

Speaking of, he wondered about Suyan's way of addressing him.

Father.

Somehow, he'd become a father. He... found that he didn't dislike the thought. The thought of being a parent had never occurred to him. He'd always been too busy to even think about getting married, let alone have a child.

Somehow, without him doing anything, he became a father. How... interesting~

Then again, all he did was die and he got to live a second life as a cultivator. Him becoming a father is the least strange thing that happened since his death.

"Liang Fei!"

The angry tone took him by surprise, as there was only one person who referred to him by name in the world. And that person was rarely mad.

"Xuejie, is there any need to yell?"

Xuejie felt his eye twitch.

"Is there any reason?! Do you know how much trouble you caused me!?" He complained, looking wronged. "Xieren was livid."

Liang Fei had figured that would happen, but other than being generally sour faced, Xieren probably hadn't done much. Liang Fei felt guilty for leaving Xuejie in such a situation, but...

"We agreed to this though."

"Yes, but..." Xuejie stopped, sighing like he'd left his burdens in life behind "Ugh, had I known how much trouble I'd go through, I'd have risked going with you."

"No you wouldn't." He replied without hesitation.

"...Oi, do you think so little of me?"

"It is not that." Liang Fei replied, a bit confused by that. "I just doubt you'd be so considerate."

He said it so matter of factly, it was hard to take offense. It felt like a statement of fact rather than an opinion. Still, Xuejie couldn't just remain quiet.

"Hey, hey! Is that anyway to talk to an ally? I helped you."

"Yes, but you also tried to distance yourself from the situation."

Liang Fei had seen what Xuejie was like when speaking to strangers or just soldiers in general. The contrast was so stark, it was hard for him to recover. If not for having spoken to him mere moments prior, he'd have assumed it was a clone of Xuejie speaking.

Seeing that side of him, it was now very clear how he became Xieren's right hand man.

Yet the man before him now just frowned, looking confused.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing." Liang Fei shook his head, assuring him. "The matter between Xieren and I is none of your concern. But you don't like such messy and complicated things, so the least troublesome thing you could do at the time was stay. I doubt you would have chosen anything else."

A troubled look flashed across his face before he grimaced. "...Am I that easy to read?"

"I've been your teacher for a long time, Xuejie. I know how you are, though us being allies never occurred to me." Had he known that from the beginning, his attitude would have made a lot more sense. "I just assumed that you were a fairly antisocial child."

"Oi, that's kind of mean."

Liang Fei cocked a brow. "Am I wrong?"

Xuejie didn't say anything for a while, grimacing as Liang Fei's words sunk in.

He sighed.

"No, but the way you say it makes me feel like I was distant."

"You were."

Xuejie was quick to deny it "I talked to others!"

"Did you?" He challenged back. "You were only truly friendly with Xieren and Xinyi. Everyone else you treated very coldly."

Xuejie is a very loud and open person. When he likes someone, he's very direct and honest. When he dislikes someone, he's just as direct. When he doesn't care, that person might as well be nonexistent.

As an actual reader of the original story, outside the main characters, he doesn't care about anyone else.

"In hindsight," Liang Fei continued, looking out the window, "It makes sense since you understood things much more than me."

Thinking about it, it was only mean because he chose who mattered from the beginning.

Xuejie grimaced, feeling strange about being read so thoroughly. Yet his tone was still light as he said. "Why are you only this observant when it comes to others?"

"It is my duty as a teacher to understand my students." Liang Fei proclaimed, his eyes gleaming with pride."

Xuejie snickered, amused by the man. Even a guy with such low EQ can see through him. How funny.

"But I can't say I can find fault with you." Liang Fei continued, surprising Xuejie. "I am much the same. I selfishly ended up using someone else's life to fulfill my own desires. I took what belonged to another and called myself by their name."

Xuejie shrugged. "That can't be helped. We're both guilty of that, right? You were a much better Shizun than that asshole."

"Was I? He would have harmed many and used Xieren for his own gains." He argued, feeling fearful. If Xieren knew his thoughts, how he had selfishly clung to him solely because of his lack of will, what would he think? "How am I any different?"

"Don't say that!" Xuejie snapped. "You and that jerk are nothing alike."

"But I was-" He stopped, spotting a familiar figure standing some distance away. How neither had noticed him was a mystery but now that he was seen, they couldn't look away.

Xieren stood at the corner, as if he was waiting to be noticed by the pair of transmigrators walking down the hall. Now that he was noticed, he walked toward them, his expression unreadable.

Liang Fei shivered, feeling fearful that Xieren had heard them. No, he had to have heard them. Why else would he be standing so close by?

"X-Xieren, about this, I-"

His words would remain unheard as Xieren looked past him and grabbed Xuejie's arm.

"Eh? W-w-whats going on?" Xuejie cried out as he was dragged away. "What did I do? Why is it me?"

Liang Fei's brows furrowed deeply, wondering if Xieren was mad at him. He really wanted to explain himself, scared Xieren was mad at him.

"Xieren, I-"

"Later." Xieren's words echoed through the hall and settled deep in the elders chest. "We'll talk later."

Liang Fei let out an unsteady breath, feeling relieved. Xieren didn't sound mad, so perhaps he hadn't heard everything. Whatever was heard, he was willing to wait until Xieren was done with his work to discuss things.

Yet this ease in his heart was immediately unsettled by the secondary presence that made itself known.

"I always knew you were not what you seemed." A light and airy voice said, settling in his head like a tick.

The dreams he had been having about his second death. The words he had trusted.

The main character of both had chosen to show herself.

"Lady Leilian."

***

Elsewhere, Xuejie was ruthlessly dragged down the hall and shoved into a spare room. As the man steadied himself, the door slammed shut, looking them in.

Had Xuejie not known for a fact that Xieren was head over heels in love with Liang Fei, he might have wondered if this guy was trying to seduce him. Instead, he was just annoyed.

"Before you ask, I have nothing to say. I'm not spilling anyone's secrets, bro or not" Xuejie declared, holding his hands up in case Xieren responded with force. Out of habit, he snickered. "Me, on the hand? Well, I might be willing to reveal a bit for compensation."

Xieren paid no mind to Xuejie's joke, staring the man straight in the eye.

"Was what Shizun said true?"

Xuejie sighed. "Didn't you hear me when I said-" But he was cut off by Xieren's next question.

"That he feels he's used others in the past?"

That he used me? He thought but kept to himself. That wasn't a question he could get an answer to right then.

Only Shizun would have the answer.

"...That's not for me to say. We've all used someone at least once, intentionally or not. Lian-Shizun," He quickly corrected himself, knowing Xieren hated when he used their masters' given name. "Is a normal guy. He had a lot of regrets and used this life to fulfill those life goals.

"This life?" He echoed, giving Xuejie a curious look. The latter shrugged, his lips sealed.

Xieren scowled.

This wasn't the first time he'd heard those words. Almost every time he eavesdropped on the two of them, certain keywords sprang up.

System

Another life

Transmigrator.

All of these words that sound completely foreign to him were spoken with such ease by these two, as if it were commonplace. Knowing how tightlipped the two men were, Xieren had tried to look into it himself but came up empty handed.

These words might as well have been ancient writings whose meaning was lost to time.

The only one who seemed to have a reaction to the words was Leilian, but he doubted she knew much. Nothing in her background was in any way similar to Shizun, so there was no reason to assume she'd know anything about the words.

Except...

"Shizun's name..." Xieren muttered

Xuejie frowned at him. "Hm?"

Xieren turned his gaze to Xuejie. "What is your name?"

"Eh?" Xuejie blinked, clearly confused. He frowned "Are you okay, bro? Why are you-"

"Name. Now!"

"X-Xuejie!"

"Family name." He pressed, cornering Xuejie.

"Are we doing an ancestry test or something?"

"Name!"

"I don't kn-" He started before biting his tongue. "I mean... does it matter? I swore loyalty to you so..."

Xieren stared him down for a moment. Without a word, Xieren nodded and walked away, leaving Xuejie confused.

What was that about? He briefly wondered.

Xieren, as he walked, was thinking up a storm. Something that had been bothering him for years was starting to become clear.

There was something strange about Xuejie and Shizun. They had a similar feel to them.

Xuejie claimed to not know anything about Shizun but Xieren wasn't so sure about that. Xuejie was suspicious for various reasons, even from the beginning. His attachment to Xieren, for one thing, as well as his apparent connection later to Shizun. He didn't care too much about it, as Xuejie had made it absolutely clear his connection wasn't romantic, but Xieren disliked it.

That the human seemed to know so much more about Shizun than him.

Yet this connection only seemed to form after he confronted Shizun about [demon chicks] report about Shizun's name.

He claimed to be Shao Liang Fei and that was considered a lie, yet his claim to be Liang Fei was the truth.

But he was Shizun. the words he spoke and the unique scent that clung to him regardless of time or body was definitely his, and-

Wait, why would his scent remain if the body he wore now was different? Moreover, why was the scent stronger than before?

Then there was the wispy mist scent that tickled his nose in an annoying way.

He'd have to check the source to be sure, but if he was right...

Shizun might not be Shizun after all.

***

Liang Fei glared at Leilian, his mind racing back to his second death.

This person had told him there was an escape path yet all he found was a cliff. It wasn't hard to guess it was a trap.

This person had left him to die. This person was the reason Xieren was left alone.

Leilian flinched, not expecting the usually cordial human to glare so coldly at her. His expression was usually stoic so seeing him so openly hostile was... scary.

Yet years of being around Xieren had trained her to not show fear.

Instead, her lips curled with glee, as she saw a victory looming ahead.

"So you finally show your true colors?" She pressed, smirking as she felt she finally got an edge on him.

"I could ask the same of you."

"Hm? This isn't about me." She pointed out, brushing her hair behind her ear. "Now that his majesty has heard your confession for himself, he'll-"

"What goes on between us is none of your business." He interjected, folding his hands behind his back, the picture of calm. "Don't pry."

Leilian clenched her fists in rage. His Majesty had said the same thing when she tried to sow seeds of doubt before. It was also followed by a threat to her life so she wanted to try with Liang Fei.

Yet he was just as stalwart as his lover.

"You! How dare you-"

"Did you lie to me?" Liang Fei asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Lie?" She echoed, frowning in confusion. "When have I ever lied to you?"

"Ten years ago, you told me-"

"I don't know you, human." She interrupted, scoffing. "Don't try to distract me from your crimes. If not for you and whatever you are trying to do, his majesty wouldn't be in the predicament he's in now."

"Predicament? I thought the matter of the border was settled."

"You think a king only has one concern to deal with at a time? How naive." She snickered, mocking his assumption. "Not only are you weak, but you are so ignorant that you cause trouble for His Majesty whether you're here or gone. What a shame."

Behind his back, Liang Fei's fist clenched but his expression remained stoic. If Xieren were there, he'd instantly know just how bothered Liang Fei felt just then.

Thankfully, Leilian couldn't read the man in front of her, so her jabs didn't look to cause any harm.

Much to her annoyance.

"If not for you distracting His Majesty, we would have already convinced him to finally choose a queen." She seethed, glaring at Liang Fei. She had been planning on bringing up the idea when His Majesty returned from his sudden departure yet he came back with a lover.

A man too!

How was she supposed to place herself in the running if the king was so enamored with some random human no one knew? Her plan had collapsed before she could even start.

She had already managed to live despite her destiny. Now she just had to ensure her life was worth living. Being the king's Minister was good but she couldn't settle for good.

(AN: I feel like I haven't expressed this well enough but Leilian has faint memories of the original plot. She was supposed to die with Liang Fei but changed her fate. She fears death every day after.)

"His majesty has had so many options." She continued, letting her practiced words settle her nerves. "So many beautiful, young and influential options to choose from, maidens who could provide him the one thing all kings - no, all men should have. A child."

"Xieren isn't like other men." Liang Fei countered, cocking a brow.

"No, you are quite right. His majesty is not like other men. Other men have families. His majesty has none. Do you not think he desires such a thing? Hasn't yearned for the joy of fatherhood? For a real family?"

A... real family? Was that something Xieren wanted? He had never bothered to ask, as it wasn't something he could speak of since he himself was orphaned at such a young age. Yet despite being surrounded by others, did he too wish to have a family, like his parents had?

His most prized possession in his previous life was a photo of his parents holding his baby sister soon after her birth. His mother looked exhausted and seconds from passing out. His father's hair was frazzled and the bags under his eyes were very clearly visible. It was clear both had gone through a stressful time.

Yet they both shared a look of absolute joy and pride as they stared down at their daughter. The small bundle in their arms was a symbol of the love they shared. It was part of the reason why Liang Fei wanted to be a teacher. To feel a similar sense of joy and pride as he saw his students.

Was that something Xieren wanted?

He'd have to ask him.

"Whether or not it's something he wishes, it has nothing to do with you." He replied, missing the flinch that ran through Leilian. While he didn't mean to, his words made it clear that even if Xieren wanted children, it would never be with Leilian.

"But you-"

"You really shouldn't be getting so invested in Xieren's love life." He cut in. "It's unbecoming of someone who isn't even allowed to call him by his name to be so concerned."

Liang Fei turned and left, wanting to talk to Xieren. He had his disagreements and grudge with Leilian, but Xieren was and would always take priority.

***

Suyan was resting in his bedroom, a grand suite that made him wonder if he was in the same world as the one that had him sleeping on dirt floors. Silk sheets were so smooth, it felt like air brushing his skin and bedding so soft, he wanted to sink into it forever.

"Ah, Uncle might be a jerk but his castle is very good~" He mused, letting his small body sink into the bed. The morning sun warmed his skin and the sheets in such a pleasant way, he wished he could stay here forever.

A knock echoed through the room, catching the child's attention. His instincts from years on the street told him that he probably shouldn't open the door. That he would regret it.

Yet those same instincts told him that nothing he did would change how things were going to go. Just like water flowing through one's fingers, there was no way he couldn't open that door.

With a resigned sigh fit for a prisoner on the day of their execution, Suyan opened the door.

***

Liang Fei was feeling mildly unsettled. He had hoped he could talk to Xieren, yet every time he tried, someone turned him away.

He'd never been turned away before.

The servants who turned him away seemed nervous as they told him this, as if they wished he wouldn't pry any further. Out of courtesy, he didn't but it still left him feeling uneasy.

Perhaps Xieren really was mad at him?

His chest stung at the thought, his desire to see Xieren increasing with each beat of his heart.

He sat back in his chair in the library, staring up at the ceiling. Its ornate designs usually left him in awe, but he couldn't be distracted from his thoughts. Not even the plush fox Xieren had, at some point, left in his favorite spot could ease his sullen mood.

He watched the sun go down, his thoughts circling about in his head. He had to talk to him.

Since it was evening, Xieren would definitely have gone to bed by now. Despite how busy he was, Liang Fei had hammered into his head the importance of a restful night. Even when Xieren got excited and pressed him down, Liang Fei made sure Xieren got enough sleep before going out in the morning.

Even if he was mad, he wouldn't forget.

Feeling a bit better, Liang Fei left the library, unconsciously walking just a bit faster than usual. Those who noticed his increased pace were wise enough not to mention it as he passed by.

They didn't get it but perhaps it was just how couples acted, even when they were the same sex. Some thought of their own significant others and recalled their own feelings of emancipation when going home.

Some had children who jumped into their arms. Others had spouses who'd kiss their cheek and offer a warm meal after seeing their partner come in from the cold. Many had friends to share a drink and laugh with.

They all understood that moment where one's once haggard expression would brighten and they'd quicken their steps to return to that one special place.

To return home.

Liang Fei, completely unaware of the revelation he had inspired within dozens of demons, briskly walked to Xieren's room. Without much thought, he walked into their shared bedroom. If there was anywhere he'd be, it'd be there. Then they could finally talk.

Yet the sight he saw when he came in was... strange.

Xieren was indeed there, laying on the bed with his hand folded over his stomach. His face was a familiar one, as Liang Fei had seen his partner's sleeping face many times. It was hard not to when one was paired with such a handsome man.

It was at those moments that Liang Fei felt he understood why his sister and other women fawned over a handsome star despite not knowing even their name. Humans, regardless of their interests, always appreciated a lovely creature.

Even Liang Fei was subject to such whims, adoring cute things.

Yet the sight that should have brought him comfort was disrupted by the extra character in the scene.

Straddling his lover was Suyan, who was leaning over Xieren's prone form. The proximity would have worried him but he saw that the only place touching was their foreheads.

Still, as a human, Liang Fei was not okay with someone in such a position with his Xieren!

"Suyan, what are you-" He shouted as he pulled the child from the bed. He was about to scold him but his thoughts came to a sudden stop when he looked into the child's eyes.

Black.

Swirling, endless blackness that consumed his thoughts and sucked him in. He drifted between infinity and the void, recognizing neither as they spoke their mysterious secrets. It was like a starless night that filled the sky with thoughts of emptiness and-

"F-father!" A young panicked voice called out to him. "Father, wake up! Please!"

Liang Fei sucked in a breath, the world returning just as suddenly as it disappeared. He blinked, looking around.

For some reason, he was lying on the floor despite not remembering how he got there. Suyan was sitting beside him, his eyes filled with tears.

Then he remembered how black the child's eyes were before.

"What..."

"I'm sorry, Father!" Suyan sobbed, looking the part of a remorseful child. "I wasn't expecting you to come by and-"

Liang Fei covered the boy's mouth, the wounded tone tearing into him in ways he wasn't used to. He never was strong enough to handle crying children.

Perhaps when he got more used to it, crying children wouldn't bother him as much. But right now, he melted.

"I'm not mad." He assured the child, sitting up. "Just tell me what you were doing?"

Suyan sniffled, wiping his tears. If not for the headache he was suffering from, Liang Fei would have found it adorable.

"F-father knows I'm a dream demon, right?" Liang Fei nodded. "Well, I can... touch people's minds while they sleep. I just need to look at them and give a light push." He explained, looking away. "To do that, I need-"

"Those black eyes?" Liang Fei guessed, to which Suyan nodded. "Why were you doing that to Xieren then?"

"Uncle asked me to!" The child was quick to defend himself. "It's just that there was something in the way so I had to use more strength than usual. Father's will isn't as sturdy as uncle's, so..."

So when he used those eyes on Liang Fei, it was less of a light push and more along the lines of getting hit by a truck at full speed.

No wonder he had a headache.

"Okay, but why did Xieren want you in his head?"

Suyan turned to the still sleeping Xieren, as if considering whether or not to tell. He quickly came to a decision, though.

"I didn't understand it, really. He just said there was something he needed to remember."

***

"...rude to do such a thing!"

Xieren frowned, the faint sounds sinking in as he was slowly awoken from his dream. The disorientation that came with just waking up muddled his thoughts, making him wary.

Who was it talking around him?

Should he kill them?

"....don't understand ...I treasure him more than anything!"

That voice? It calmed his tensed muscles before he could even identify it. A warm thing came close to him, a strange scent filling his head.

Shizun.

His eyes snapped open, spotting the elder leaning over him. Before he even noticed Xieren was awake, he was grabbed and rolled under him.

"Xieren!?"

"Shizun"

Liang Fei stared up at him with those lovely violet eyes, enrapturing Xieren for a moment before sighing. He rested his forehead on the elders shoulder, taking comfort in the familiarity of his scent.

This was Shizun's scent, but...

"Shizun?"

He felt the elder flinch. It was probably his somber tone as the elder wrapped his arms around his head. The hands he came to love stroked his head, making him want to cry.

"Shizun... who are you?" He bit out, clenching his fist. "I know you aren't 'him', so who are you?"