Nirrvash

Hoping the chapter came out as I scheduled it, on Saturday, if not - sorry.

Anyway, it was wonderful to read your reactions to the revelation of what is behind the 'darkness'. I managed to surprise some people with it, some found it interesting, others expected something else.This chapter should shed more light on the issue.

Enjoy!

So yeah, from what I gathered from Rairok, Eleaden was a living world. A fucking living world. Even though I knew the concept of Gaia, I had a hard time wrapping my head around it. Stella then, inevitably, even harder.

How to imagine such a world? Did it have eyes, ears, a mouth - a brain? And if so, where? These first thoughts of mine were, of course, far off the mark. Eleaden had none of those things. I could not, in my wanderings through the world, fall into the hole of its nose or be swallowed by it. Yet it heard, and saw; it sensed.

It was not confirmed and only the guesswork of the greatest minds of the era, but it was believed that there was a heart at the core of this world. Perhaps not in the sense that we know it, but a heart not unlike the Mana Heart in its function, producing an enormous amount of mana. They called it the World Heart. Surrounding it was a layer that could be considered a core, a miniature version of which was in my lower abdomen. 

The amount of mana stored there I couldn’t even imagine - I didn’t even try. That was me. The greatest minds of the era rose to the challenge and did the math. They came up with a result, and the figures they agreed on were ridiculous. What they couldn’t agree on, however, was what exactly Eleaden was using the mana for other than to sustain itself. After all, it didn’t need the energy to orbit the star or to maintain an atmosphere - there was a bit of a catch as to why it was maintaining the mana in the air. But all in all, it was the work of gravity, which, to my surprise, the local people - and beasts - knew a lot about.

Honestly, I shouldn’t be shocked by that by now. After all, they built Labyrinths, structures that bend time and space. It was just hard to break away from seeing them as other than the civilization of Eleaden I knew, when all I saw around me were cages, tents, and the wretchedness of the battlefield. I did not witness the cities of this time.

Anyway, some argued that there was nothing more to it, and that all of Eleaden’s mana was used to sustain itself. Others, however, believed that the exes went to nourish the two moons, which they saw as potential seeds of new living worlds. That was the most sickening thought of all the possibilities I learned of, for if that were the case, the creatures of this world were killing the mother of the children.

And yes, that was what humans, gnomes, dwarves - I hadn’t met any of them yet - elves, and even beasts and creatures were doing. Most of them, not so much knowingly, at first, but they were killing the world that gave them life.

Mana. It was all about mana. 

Like the world itself, every living thing in it had its own mana, some more, some less. Some were able to generate large amounts of their own, others just enough to survive. All of that was fine, and posed no danger to Eleaden. In fact, it illustrated more clearly what I had asked Aspen in my first magic lesson, and that was why people didn’t use ambient mana. It was never a neutral mana I thought it to be. It was one that belonged to the world itself. Just as no one could use another’s mana, the same was true of this one. Apart from Eleaden, no one was able to use it, not without processing it first.

And that was where the problem lay.

They figured it out.

It was unclear who was first, whether elves, dragons, other beasts, or even humans, but over time, each of the races found a way to use the ambient mana for their own purposes, unaware of what they were doing. At least at first. Eventually, someone noticed that the ambient mana had thinned out and connected it to dry wells of pure mana, places that in the present were only in the records - rather disturbing, if I may say so.

It made me wonder how much denser the mana used to be, since I didn’t find it much different here in Echo than in the present. I wasn’t much of a mage, though, and when it came to ambient mana, I had an awareness of it, but that was about it. Mastering my mana and magic came first before paying attention to something I couldn’t use in my life, anyway.

My failings aside, the period of blaming and finger pointing came. No one wanted to take responsibility and be the one to give up that source of mana to preserve what little was left. If anything, the race to extract the rest began, and wars followed. From what I’ve seen of Rairok’s memories, I was amazed that they were all able to come together in the end, but they did. They did when they realized that their wars were meaningless skirmishes compared to what was coming.

The world itself turned against its inhabitants. 

In the far corners, it took control of the weaker beasts and those who still had a strong connection to it. After all, all creatures born in this world had such a ling, a root, even me, an earthling, thanks to my mutations.

They watched in shock as the world itself set in motion, apparently determined to rid itself of the vermin in its coat. Again, some have argued that it may have been some sort of immune response, that the world was sick and the body was trying to fight off the disease. Others claimed that it was a deliberate action, that the creatures of the world had gone too far, that Eleaden’s patience had run out, or that it simply had no choice. In the end, it didn’t matter; the result was always the same: the end of free life.

At first, it was each nation for itself, then each race, and only when they had all tasted the bitterness of failure did they unite.

It was a rough alliance, full of mistrust, suspicion, and efforts to skirt the agreements. The only thing that held them together was the prospect of the end. A far cry from the idealistic picture I had in my head of all races coming together in fine cooperation against a common enemy.

Well, they did eventually achieve that cooperation and unity, but only after being driven from more than half of their former lands. The grievances were brushed aside, and the blame forgotten. For the truth was simple. Everyone had played a part in Eleaden’s poor state. Dragons, with their magic capable of directly harvesting ambient mana. Elves, with their ability to suck mana from the ground and air through the trees. Gnomes, with their clever machines. Dwarves with their ability to dig deep for new wells of pure mana. And humans, with a little bit of everything, made up for it in numbers. Even the beasts with the greatest numbers were not without their share of guilt. But the worst of all were the World Trees, with their world-encircling roots capable of sucking mana directly from the world’s mantle.

Frankly, knowing the truth changed my whole perspective on them.

They were strangling Eleaden with their roots, choking the entire planet, sucking it dry. With their ability to send their Guardians to distant worlds, it wasn’t far-fetched to say they were space parasites. They came on the planet, spread their roots and seeds, and slowly, very slowly, killed it.

Well, no one was sure about that last part - there was no way to prove it other than to find a planet they’d already exploited - so I held out hope that the image of World Trees I had in my head wasn’t so far off. That they were creatures of nature, that they nurtured it, and that this world mana sapping was just their poor judgment when led astray by their Guardians.

I really hoped so!

After all, I was a Guardian myself, and despite what I had found out, I loved Idleaf. I never thought for a second that I would leave her, that I would give up being her Guardian. She wasn’t one of those old fools. She was just a kid, an innocent kid who didn’t do anything wrong and whose only shortcoming was her excessive curiosity.

***

“Rairok, do you think it will be okay if I use my runes?” I asked. I held myself back so as not to reveal who I was, but all of this made me itch to call Idleaf - whether she could hear me or not.

The beast was lying at the foot of my cage, Stella leaning against it. After learning the truth, and not handling it as gracefully as I had, he offered to help her come to terms with it. I had no idea what he had done, but as she leaned against him, she visibly relaxed. She was no longer mumbling or laughing hysterically. In fact, her breathing had calmed down to the point where I thought she had fallen asleep - which I knew she hadn’t. Her eyes were wide open, staring off into the distance. Besides, she started using her aura to calm her mind. Not something she would do if she was asleep.

“What for?” asked Rairok as he turned his head towards me.

“To call my tree.” Perhaps the wrong wording. The image of a dog barking up a tree came to mind.

“It can hear thee?”

“I’d like to think so.”

“I see,” Rairok said, and I was grateful that he did not question my likely futile efforts. “I can block others from hearing and let them know they are not welcome here, but they will see what they will see.”

In other words, he could not prevent anyone from seeing the glow of my rune and my eyes if I chose to make the call.

“Will they ask if I reveal what I am?”

“Undoubtedly.”

“Shit!” I knew they would, hence the caution. Still, deep down, I hoped he’d say no.

“Though I must apologize.”

That made me pause. “For what?” So far, Rairok had been very helpful.

“Our, and especially my, actions here will surely raise questions about thee.” I thought back to our connection, to him lifting the silencing field, bowing to me out of respect for what I was. The field may have blocked my senses as well as those outside, but no doubt, with what Rairok had done, there was someone out there in the darkness watching us. And I wouldn’t be surprised if they could read lips.

At that thought, a chuckle escaped mine. Stella and I tried so hard not to reveal who we were, and it was all for naught. I didn’t blame Rairok. High Commander Maignes already doubted that we were Dia Eichenralke, and Grand Commander Ronnu, Traiana, probably never thought we were. This was just the final nail in the coffin. This cycle was a lost cause long ago, and now it was just a matter of how we would spend the remaining three days. The prospects weren’t great. I was already in a cage.

So, eventually - after some hesitation and a lot of reflection - I figured: Fuck it. They already knew, or at least suspected, that we weren’t what we claimed to be. I might as well have given them confirmation.

Despite those bold and daring thoughts, I covered my hip with Sage and closed my eyes before shifting my focus to my mana. It was mine; my body produced it, I didn’t steal it, and I didn’t hurt anyone, but knowing what I knew, I saw it differently. I was practically intimidated to use the mana, doubt eating away at my mind. Wouldn’t I be hurting Eleaden by using it, anyway? It took all of my earthly habits and instincts to shake off such thoughts. After all, I couldn’t stop breathing just because I was using up oxygen. Same with mana, I was a magical creature whether I wanted to be or not. I needed mana to live.

So did the world . . .

The rune lit up the moment the mana touched it, devouring it like a hungry beast. It didn’t matter how much I poured into the rune; it took it all. The heat of the rune rose rapidly, soon burning my skin and tail hairs with the passion of my shout across time and space to Idleaf.

She didn’t show up . . .

Despite my previous hesitation, I burned up almost all my mana, and she still didn’t appear. Not even a hint of a response - that she could hear me. And yet it made me feel so good. I leaned on something I knew and was familiar with and found it incredibly comforting.

The pain and smell of burnt skin was another story.

Eyes glowing with violet light, I looked at Stella. She was still staring somewhere I couldn’t see; she needed more time to digest the truth, so I made a decision. “Rairok, I will turn into a beast.”

“Oh, thou wishest to test thy will against Eleaden’s?”

“Honestly, I don’t think that would be wise right now,” I said. The thought of facing the world sent shivers down my spine. I didn’t have the confidence I had before. “I’d lose.”

“Then why?”

“To regain my courage. I need something familiar to fall back on.” 

“I see. Dost thou wish me to continue to keep the others in line?”

I grinned. Rairok was different from the other beasts. More human, or at least he understood them better than Esudein or Zeewet. “Yes, please. I would be most grateful.”

He rolled his eyes and nodded. “Go then.”

Without further ado, I moved to the center of the cage and shifted into my full beast form. Dropping to all fours, I whimpered in pleasure as I stretched to push the stiffness out of my muscles. This was just what I needed. The icing on the cake was when I roared at the top of my lungs into the dark sky above me - no restraint, letting out all the unfairness of life.

So liberating, so stress-relieving.

It even snapped Stella out of her stupor - for a moment - before she went back to reevaluating her life and life on Eleaden in general. Pretty heavy stuff I couldn’t shake off so easily myself - the reason I did what I did.

»That was quite a roar,« Rairok remarked, deftly switching to beast talk. It didn’t escape me that he was more comfortable with it.

»Thanks,« I said, pride swelling in my chest. »I’m thinking of learning to shift just my throat.«

»Trying to learn to speak human language while being a beast, I see.«

»Yes, I need something to focus on, something to throw my mind into, and learning new stuff is the thing I am most familiar with lately. So please don’t be alarmed if I make weird noises.«

»I used to make them when I was learning human language,« he chuckled softly. »But I am not a shifter. I learned the natural way.«

»I’m pretty sure it would take me months to learn it that way. I don’t have the patience for that.«

»It took me dozens of cycles.«

»Decades? I certainly don’t have the patience for that.«

He chuckled again. »Thou art young. Maybe when thou art older.«

Nah. I didn’t see that as likely. Why learn something the hard way when you already knew the easy way? That said, I set out to master the so-called easy way.

Well, it wasn’t easy at all. Not as impossible as I had previously thought, but not at all easy. While my speaking beast talk in my human self was a subconscious thing, this required an incredible amount of concentration. Just separating the part - my throat - that I wanted to shift back was a chore. It was like - like - different gestures that some people did and others thought were impossible: raising just one eyebrow, closing just one eye, or that weird Spock hand gesture where the fingers are parted between the middle and ring fingers. I was never able to do that one. And shifting only my throat was the same. My body fought back, resisted. It hurt.

***

“What the fuck was that?” came from Stella, and I squealed in shock. It had been hours since I’d told her the truth. In fact, there wasn’t much time left before dawn. Although with the dark skies, dawn wasn’t going to make much of a difference. Anyway, the whole time she was just sitting there, leaning against Rairok where I couldn’t reach her, staring into space - and now this? It scared the shit out of me.

“Me?” I rasped. To be honest, my voice sounded more like a screech in my beast form, but I was working on it.

Her eyes widened, and she muttered: “I lost it, that’s for sure.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I damn well did,” she argued back. Frankly, I found it quite bizarre. Most people would argue that they weren’t crazy, but she . . . “I did, because the last time I checked, you didn’t talk like that. You didn’t talk in your beast form at all. Are you even Korra?”

“I am, look,” I said, shifting back to prove it to her.

“Shit!” she cursed and heaved a sigh. “I was hoping this was just a nightmare.”

Not much to say. “I wish it was, too.”

She looked into my eyes and stayed locked on them for a while. “I have so many questions, Korra.”

“I’m sure you do.” She had already asked me a ton of them when I spoke the truth to her, but regardless, I was ready to answer any others, whatever they were, to the best of my ability.

Nirrvash

Is that enough of an explanation? I know this is very general, but I didn't want to dive into a Sylmarilion-esque list of events. However, I'm going to clear up some ambiguity in the next chapter, which as I announced won't come out until next Saturday. No chapter on Wednesday.