Internet-Degenerate

Fun Fact: When life gives you Lemon, you better sit down and listen to it because it's a really good song by Yonezu Kenshi

I listlessly explain to Sol the situation behind my debt. I didn't want to, but it seems those goons mentioned it, so I thought I'd tell her just how my father pushed his massive debts onto me, took my money, and ran. "I was going to use that money to pay off my debts," I tell her on the verge of tears. "But no. Why would anything good happen to me?" Sol was silent upon hearing my perfected art of self-deprecation. 

"I'm so sorry," she apologized for no reason. "The reason he was so angry was because I struck him. I was responsible for the incident."

"N-No, it-"

"I have destroyed your entire future. I don't know how to make it up to you."

"Woah, damn, Sol! Don't put it like that! It's not even your fault, to begin with! I shouldn't have lost it in the first place; it's my fault for losing it! Don't blame yourself like that; you've done nothing wrong!"

Sol just looked down at the ground, dejected as she walked. "Ah," she looked up at me suddenly. "How is your face, by the way?" 

"It's fine..." I mean, it's still as ugly as ever, right? Why is she asking? She examined my face with worry. Don't worry, it's always looked like this, you had nothing to do with it. Please stop staring.

She produced a handkerchief from her pocket. "Hold still for a moment, please, Seraph." She drew the cloth up to my forehead, but I cringed and jolt back before she could do anything. She grabbed my wrist so I couldn't retreat back any further and attacked me with her handkerchief. "Your forehead is still bleeding a little." At this range, I could feel her breath on my neck, and it sent shivers of disgust throughout my entire being. Her gentle touch is making me recoil. I shut my eyes tight, and my face tenses up as I fight my reflex to instantly strike at her. I know she doesn't mean any harm, but I can't help but feel revolted. Just think of this as exposure therapy, Seraph. You've come a long way from bursting out into autistic screeching and violently thrashing about at the slightest touch. At this rate, you'll get over your haphephobia in no time. She finally drew her handkerchief back after dabbing off the blood. "There. It's all clean." We started walking again. I don't know where. I just followed.

"How much was that lottery ticket worth?" she asked me.

"Two hundred million," I tell her, remembering the pain of losing it. She was shocked when I told her the answer, and she had a sharp intake of breath. She started contemplating.

"... I'll speak to my grandmother. She may have that much."

"Do not," I tell her firmly, but I don't think she was paying attention. We just kept walking around the neighbourhood. Is this what she meant by 'wandering?' I realized that we had just been talking about me this whole time. Sol still hasn't said what she wanted to say. I need to know. I've never done this before, but I must. I must take the initiative and start a conversation!

"Seraph," Sol saves me from humiliating myself by attempting to start a conversation. Thank you, Miss Sol. "What are you going to do? About... your life?" She seems very worried about me. She's a nice person. I don't want to bother her any more than I have to.

"Well," I think for a second, getting my thoughts straight. "I've been thinking about this for a while now and did a bit of research, just in case I found myself in the situation I'm in right now. I studied some permaculture and law out of library books, and I found some loopholes in the law concerning tiny houses that I can abuse. I think I might just go off the grid and go missing in the woods or the mountains or something and build a self-sustaining tiny house in a way that doesn't break the law. So that way, if a ranger or something ever stumbles upon my house, I won't be in any legal trouble. It'd have to be a place with water, though, preferably a river. I've been saving up money for solar panels, but that was stolen. I could live off the land with my minor knowledge of permaculture in seclusion, like the troglodyte that I am. Either that or die trying." 

"O-Oh..." Sol was clearly not expecting my answer. "W-Well... if... if I may..." I tilted my head in curiosity. Her tone was strangely earnest. "Before you get started on... that... It seems as though your plans are a bit of a blank slate."

"Mhm."

"I... I was thinking. Perhaps, if you wouldn't mind... what I'm trying to say is..." Her gaze became more determined as she stared up into my eyes. I stared down at her hair. It's very awkward. "I can guarantee you room and board."

"Done, I'll do it," I agree to the terms and conditions to attend Vincennes without hesitation. Free room and board, here I come!

"But I haven't told you anything yet," she says.

"You're going to ask me if I want to enrol in Vincennes, right? That's why you can guarantee me free room and board?"

Sol's eyes widened in surprise. "How did you know?"

Oh Sol, you fool. I am five parallel universes ahead of you.

"How should I explain it..." Sol mumbled to herself. Miss Sol and I looked at the bus schedule and found that the last bus had already left earlier, so we just began walking instead. She was taking me to Vincennes Girl's Academy. It was a thirty-minute trip by bus, so it was a pretty easy walk. But it was in the mountains, so the trek was mainly at an incline. It became colder as the night passed, but I like the cold, so it doesn't bother me. In fact, I find it to be quite pleasant. "Are you really certain you want to walk the whole way?" Sol asks me. "You've been outdoors since last night, after all." 

"No, I'm fine," I tell her. I don't bother asking her the same because I already know she's doing fine. I'm sure she's walked this trek plenty of times before. 

"I suppose I should explain my purpose in all this," she tells me. "The reason I wonder, night after night. It's because I've been searching for the right type of man." Please rephrase that better, Miss Sol. "A man like you, Seraph." I said better, not worse! What does that even mean? She wants a deadbeat failure? "But of course, I had no idea how I could go about finding such a man. So I simply walked aimlessly... As you might suppose, it was very inefficient. The requirements were really strict, as well. He must have the right character, and he must be able to enter a new school beginning this year. If I may be honest, I was unconvinced that I would be able to find such a man, myself. And this time, I had almost given up hope. I even had the Guardienne chasing me, as well..." The Guardienne? That's what they called the school security? "I really am tired... If I had taken the bus, they would've caught me. I ended up running a marathon." She ran from the school all the way to the station? She's more fit than I thought. I'm sorry I insulted you in my mind earlier, Miss Sol.

"As you've already guessed," she continues. "The plan is to reform the school. There has been talk of making the school coeducational lately. The reason why is because we're losing students. If we allowed boys to join, simple arithmetic suggests that our numbers will double. My grandmother is the board chairwoman, so I know first-hand the high costs of running the school. To put it plainly, we have financial problems. The main reason is the high entrance fee. We've also rebuilt the main school building, which hurt us financially. At least, it has become clear that we cannot continue doing things as we have done. But despite all this, we still resist change. This school is too prideful of being a traditional school. The board of directors has been in chaos. Naturally, they all feel an emotional attachment to preserving Vincennes' traditions. But the reality cannot be ignored. If Vincennes were to disappear entirely in the future, that would be the worst situation possible. School reform has become our only alternative. The traditionalists oppose it, but there are many who are willing to follow the course reality demands. After several years of debate, the chairwoman finally made a decision: to return to the school's founding principal. At the meeting, the chairwoman said, 'The board has been debating for years. You clearly can't come up with a decision. We'll be better off having the students decide.' That's the founding spirit of Vincennes: Independence, Autonomy and Self-Respect. It was originally founded by a French mission, so it has a bit of that frontier spirit guiding it. It is a Christian school if you weren't already aware. The chairwoman's decision was approved, and a concrete plan was devised. It is one thing to follow the school's founding principle, but to spring the question of integration on the students now would only confuse them. Many of the students who have been with us since Primary Course have never met a man outside of their immediate family. They couldn't make an informed decision. So the board decided to begin a trial integration for a short time and on a small scale. But once that was agreed upon, the headmistress, who was firmly opposed to the idea, decided to water down the plan substantially. Normally, the school would recruit through formal application. But they won't be doing that for this. The headmistress was so cruel... What do you think she said to me? 'If we're going to leave that much to the students, let them find the boys as well.' It was too much. But she forced the issue, so there was no fighting it. While the others hesitated, I raised my hand straight up. Because I'm on the side of reform, of course. I love Vincennes, so I want to make sure it's still here after I graduate. Your time at Vincennes will be limited. Of course, if integration is approved, you'll be able to stay until graduation, but... you'll have to pass the Premier Judgement at the end of the first term. The Premier Judgement is a school vote deciding whether or not you'll be allowed to stay at Vincennes until the Grande Vote. If you don't pass that vote and your presence is rejected by the school, then you'll be expelled. But you only need a majority vote to pass. If you pass, then you can remain at Vincennes until the Grande Vote is held at the end of the third term. That is the vote that will decide if Vincennes will reform or keep its tradition. Ah! I can see the school gate from here."

FUCKING FINALLY! 

"Are... Are those terms acceptable to you?" Sol asks me hesitantly. She was referring to her little spiel that I wasn't really paying attention to. We weren't at the school just yet. We only saw the gates. There was just a little bit more to go. I face Miss Sol and give her a slight smile in an attempt to calm her nerves. It was still an awkward smile, but it didn't feel as uncomfortable as before.

"Yeah, of course," I nod. I tried to show my certainty, but I don't know if I could portray it properly. 

"Are you... serious about that?" She says in disbelief. 

"Yeah!" I put a little more emphasis on my affirmation. Hopefully, that'll get my feelings across.

"Ah... Th-Thank you! I'm truly glad to hear that," she placed a hand on her chest and let out a deep sigh. Then she looked up at me. Her bright blue eyes appeared dewy in the moonlight. But there's no way they actually were. It isn't possible for my decision to make someone that happy. I must just be seeing things. "Ah... I wonder why..." Did Miss Sol just start talking to herself? She was so quiet, I could barely make out what she was saying. "I suppose it's because you saved me. But from the first moment I saw you, I thought, 'he must be the one.' I really am... so glad." Is this really okay? Did I really make her so happy? Seeing her smile because of me is tearing me up inside. I shouldn't be allowed to do that. I should never be allowed to do this. I haven't earned the right to. It just feels so wrong. "Well, let us go," she let out a little mischievous giggle. "After the Guardienne chased me, I would have never dreamt I would return feeling so triumphant." 

When we arrived at the gate, one of the Guardienne appeared. Miss Sol explained the situation, and she let us through without any issue. We walked on a winding cobblestone path in silence. The strangest thing was that the way was adorned by cherry blossoms. 

"These cherry trees are the pride of Vincennes," Sol told me, seeing me gawk at them. "When the new students come in April full of anxieties, these trees are here to greet them. I suppose you are a new student as well, Seraph," she said with a giggle. I had spent most of my life running away from everything. But now there is a place that wanted me. Now there was someone who wanted me to be here. I felt twice as iniquitous as I was happy. Miss Sol walked around to stand in front of me and held out her right hand. "Welcome to Vincennes, Seraph." Okay... Thanks for the lovely welcome and everything, but why are you holding out your hand like that? What is that supposed to mean?