It’s been five days since the raid on the warehouse. My shoulder still hurts and Zeno has been running me ragged. Initially I thought I might have it easy and be allowed to live luxuriously while I worked, but I was quite misguided. My schedule for five days could be best described as eat, do investigations, conduct arrests, drink, then maybe sleep. I’m certain that indentured servants have more generous work hours than I do.

Today wasn’t any different. I was soaking my exhausted body in the bath when a servant suddenly entered the room. This in itself was nothing special, but the man was fully clothed. 

“The Doux requests your presence, sir hero,” the man said.

I nodded my head. Was I finally finished or does Zeno want to dump even more work on me?

When I entered Zeno’s office, he was browsing through a pile of documents on his desk. 

“What do you want?” I asked grumpily. 

“Why are you always complaining?” Zeno sighed. “You agreed to take this job, remember?”

“I agreed to work, not work and not complain,” I argued. “Besides, I wouldn’t complain if you didn’t work me so hard.”

“Azel, there's a reason I requested for you to do this specifically,” Zeno asked. “If I put my current staff in charge then the stragglers would have a much higher chance of escape. Anyways, I wanted to let you know that tomorrow is going to be your last day. I’ll be able to cover the rest of the work after that.”

“Thank goodness,” I sighed. “Wait, you’ll be kicking me out the castle when I finish my shift right?”

“Yeah,” Zeno answered as though it was obvious. “Don’t you want to have some private time with that girl you rescued?”

He just wants to kick me out. Well I don’t blame him, since his wine reserves are soon in need of refilling. 

Of my previous three companions, Sekh and John are still staying in the castle. Sekh is under investigation regarding her criminal status while John had taken a position as one of Zeno’s personal retainers. 

I sauntered back to my room and collapsed onto the bed without a second thought. 

After waking up and eating, I had an uneventful day until Zeno called me into his office again in the afternoon. 

“Am I done yet?” I asked immediately upon entering.

“Why are you always so lazy?” Zeno complained. “Well that’s besides the point. I called you here because I got news about that leopard girl’s status and the situation in Amorium.” 

“What’s the situation then?” I asked, my voice brimming with anticipation.

“It’s like the girl said. After interrogation, that merchant coughed up that he was responsible for a number of false accusations. The people who were sentenced wrongfully have already been freed and compensated.”

“Did that merchant actually say that, or was he forced to as a scapegoat?” 

“Don’t worry, I made sure to have trusted people conduct the investigation,” Zeno assured me. “Considering how my subordinates in Amorium already bungled their job, I didn’t think they were up to the task.”

“Well that’s good then,” I said with a smile. “Can I get a celebratory break?”

“You can celebrate all you want when you’re done,” Zeno said in exasperation. 

The rest of my day was the same as it had been. After eating, I went to Zeno to collect my hard earned reward of 70 denarii. In addition, I had received 4 solidi for killing the trolls and the orc I fought in the warehouse turned out to be a criminal with a bounty of 18 denarii. 

My current finances consist of 14 solidii, 122 denarii, and 14 nummi. Since the ratmen job, I spent 8 nummi to repair my arrows as well as a denarii at a bathhouse for regular and irregular services. 

Before I left the castle, I decided to say my goodbyes to my former companions.

The first person I met was John, who was eating dinner in the barracks with his new comrades. We said our farewells and bade each other goodluck. Maybe we’ll meet again or maybe we won’t. 

When I was walking through the hallway to the guest rooms I heard a loud noise.

“There you are!” Sekh shouted. “I was looking for you.”

“Ah, so was I,” I told her. 

“Did you hear?” Sekh said excitedly. “My former coworkers and I got our sentence rescinded.”

“Yeah, Zeno told me before,” I said with a smile. “I’m happy for you.”

“You’re going to leave the castle tonight right?” she continued

“Yeah, I’ll be going back to mercenary work,” I answered.

“Then I’ll come with you,” Sekh replied brightly. 

I frowned. “Are you sure? You don’t owe me anything from before.” 

Now it was Sekh’s turn to frown. “Saying that isn’t going to change how I feel.”

“Well I’m not in need of a companion right now,” I argued. “And I’m sure you can find other people to work with. You’re definitely skilled enough to find a party if you do mercenary work.”

“That’s a polite way of shooing me away,” Sekh remarked. “Well if you want to, then it’s your choice. But I can tell that you’re lonelier than you’re letting on.”

“I’m not,” I said in surprise. “Why do you even think so?”

“The fact that you were the one most eager to strike up conversations when we were traveling,” Sekh informed me.

“Ok that’s true,” I admitted. “But have you considered that I just like talking to other people?”

“Then why did you leave the other heroes?” she interrogated. “I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t be short on conversation around them.”

“It’s just awkward being around them,” I said while rubbing my head. “I feel like some sort of unwanted third wheel.”

“That’s fair,” Sekh replied. “But Doux Zeno told me something interesting. He believes that you left because you don’t want to be reminded of what happened in the past.” 

I wonder if he’s trying to help me turn my life around or if he’s just fucking with me. Well, it’s not like he’s wrong. But I don’t intend to admit something like this. 

“You believe that?” I asked. 

“I do,” Sekh replied calmly. “I also left my home for my own reasons, you know? And from what the Doux said, the only reason you’re here in Stygia is because you’re running away.” 

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I replied in confusion. “This is the very place where I fought. You might even call this place my actual past.”

“Avoiding things isn’t just physical, it’s mental too,” she explained. “You’re pretending that by doing good here, you’ll grow from your past. And while I’ll admit that you really are bettering Stygia, helping others isn’t necessarily helping yourself.”

“You’re right about that part,” I smiled bitterly. “I’m just helping people because it makes me feel better. Selfless actions for a selfish reason.”

“Azel, do you think you’re living a fake life?” Sekh asked curiously. “Afterall, you’re using a fake name and trying to run away from people who find out.”

Am I? I tell myself that it’s just better to use a different name for business. I don’t think I’m wrong. But can I say that she's wrong? I’m not sure. 

“Maybe I am just running away,” I said boredly. “But why does it matter to you, it’s not like you have any obligation to help me.”

“Maybe I don’t,” Sekh replied. “But Doux Zeno told me that you personally asked for my situation to be investigated.”

“Well it was the right thing to do,” I suggested.

“You also worked to give me an opportunity to help in the warehouse operation,” Sekh added.

“Ok, that’s true,” I conceded. “But what exactly are you getting at?”

“I’m saying that I believe in you,” Sekh asserted. “Maybe I’m being led around by my emotions, but I genuinely want to travel together with you.” 

‘I believe in you.’ Those words caught me off guard. How long was the last time I heard those words? Right, the last time was after the incident in Beroea. It was Mikhael who told me that. 

“From what Doux Zeno said, you’ve already begun changing from how you were before,” Sekh continued. 

“Really now?” I asked with an amused look. 

“Yes,” Sekh answered. “You’re not exactly a perfect person, probably far from one. However, I do think that you’re a better person than you make yourself out to be.”

Although I was wearing a look of mild amusement, the state of my mind was much different. I genuinely felt happy that this girl would have so much faith in me. Even if I wasn’t showing it, I was overjoyed that she was putting in so much effort to join me in my travels. And all those questions she asked about me, I humored them because I felt as though she understood me.  

I wonder what she wants from me. Based on the interactions we’ve had, I don’t believe that she’s some sort of gold digger. Maybe she can be a bit lazy, but she still seems determined to play her part. To me, she seemed like a fluffy ball of happiness that had bounced my way.

But what was I really seeking from this girl? Was it love? Was it someone to talk to? 

No. I know what I want. What I want from her is some sort of validation. I want someone who understands how I feel, someone who believes in me regardless of that. I want emotional support. But it might be more than just support. I think a part of me wants to be emotionally dependent. Right, I just want to be able to live in eternal bliss, always comforted by someone else. 

It was a disgusting thought, almost causing me to gag. Even though I would always sneer at people like this, I’ve realized that I’m no different. Because it’s hard to try to stand on your own two feet. 

“Sekh, why are you going through all this effort?” I wondered.

“You helped me with my problems,” she replied. “So I feel as though it’s only fair if I help you with yours.”

That made me happy, probably way more than it should’ve had. And I was scared of this joy. Left unchecked, I could very well lose myself.

But I don’t want to reject her offer. Not only would I make her feel guilty, but I’d probably never see her again. 

In truth, I like this girl. It was certainly not love at first sight. However, I feel a sort of fondness for her. I don’t know if I want a romantic or platonic relationship, but I know that I want some sort of relationship. 

What I needed now was to stand on my own two feet while not pushing her away. It wouldn’t be wrong to have her support me emotionally. In fact, I had done that for her on our way to Jericho. But I couldn’t let myself just leech off another person.

“You win then,” I told Sekh with an easy smile. “But I want to make something clear. I don’t mind you helping me, but I don’t want to be wholly reliant on you.”

“I wasn’t planning for that either,” Sekh told me. “In fact, I would consider that to be the opposite of helping you.”

“Then I’m glad we’re on the same page,” I remarked. 

“I guess we are,” Sekh commented. “Still, you really made a cute girl put in so much effort just to travel with you.”

“Well it’s the effort that made me happy,” I said with an easy smile.

“Then I’m glad we’re on the same page,” Sekh said with a gentle smile.