You know, I remember a lot of the novels I used to read had a similar beginning. The main character, an overworked salaryman, who spends all his days toiling at a job before returning home and drowning himself in video games and other leisures before going to sleep and doing the same thing the next day. Add a drinking or smoking habit to double down on the unhealthy lifestyle they were living. Then comes the fateful day, where things finally start to look up a little. Maybe beating a high score in their game. Their project at work just barely finished in time for their deadline. And then, BAM. Sudden heart attack. Or perhaps a bus takes them out. Sometimes it’s a bit violent and they get stabbed. But the end result is the same.

They die.

Very young. 

Having lived an unfulfilling life.

It seems to all fade to black...

But! Then! A blinding light! From out of nowhere, a goddess appears! The loser, and all his regrets, laid out before this mystical being! With her enchanting voice, she speaks those sweet words. “You’ve lived a harsh life, haven’t you?” The man cannot help but shed tears as she affirms his suffering. “But do not worry, for I am giving you another opportunity, to live the life that you truly yearn for. In this, another world. A place of fantasy and magic, I will bestow upon you my gift, so that everything that you desire, will become yours!” 

What a great premise, I would think to myself. Not only does your suffering end, but then your wishes come true as well? A small price to pay for death. But such a thing, could never be real. 

I would think about those books I read on my commute to the office every weekday. It’s hard to say, but the reincarnation part felt as unlikely as the cause of death in these situations to me. Although I was a salaried programmer for a large corporation, the life I lived was far different than the one prescribed to these poor men. I could never imagine any of those things happening to me. Heart attack? With no genetic predisposition for such a thing, and my efforts to go to the gym and eat a relatively healthy diet, what were the odds? Well, I am a bit overweight though..

Getting hit by a bus? HAHA. If only this country actually had any public transportation.

Now, out of all the backstories they provide, getting stabbed or perhaps shot might have been the most likely. However, as a relatively isolated human being, the odds of me being out and about somewhere that such a thing could happen was relatively minor.

And so, one day. While on my drive home from the office. After three days of little sleep due to having to wake up and fix issues in our application in the middle of the night, I once again find myself dreaming about those kinds of stories.

I guess I was dreaming a bit too hard. Because at some point during my routine drive I had actually dozed off, and proceeded to veer off the road and straight into a bridge. The impact was the most painful thing I’d ever experienced. Despite the airbag deploying, it felt like my brain exploded as the backlash of the sudden stop sent my entire upper body bouncing back and forth within my seat. Everything seemed to suddenly grow dark, and for a moment I felt terror at the thought, is this how it ends?

Then, a blinding light appeared. My first instinct told me that I had survived the crash, and that some assholes on the other side of the divider were driving with their high beams on again. But when I came to, I was seated in this white, translucent room. Dare I say, it looked almost like a, and I chuckled at the thought of this, an office. There was a desk right in front of me with a laptop on top of it, and behind me was this box with the side facing the desk missi- oh my god it’s a cubicle.

“What, huh? Did someone call me?” A woman seemed to materialize out of nowhere from a corner of the room. Her heels made a distinct clacking sound as she walked towards me. She wore a very professional outfit, a black blazer and pencil skirt. “Oh, it appears my hero has finally arrived.” She barely mustered a smile. Her hair was curly, but full of loose ends. The eyes were a little bloodshot as they focused on me with intensity. When she reached my position I stood up from my chair.

“Hi, I’m-”

“Zero, I know all about you. I’m so, so sorry about what happened to you. What a terrible way to go, and so young..”

“U-Ah, so I really am dead then.” I touched my body with my hands, so as to ascertain that my physical form was still there. But I couldn’t help but get a little excited at what was going on. Was this just like all of those light novels I always read? Is this beautiful lady a goddess who will bestow upon me some great power and send me off on a fantasy journey?

“Yes, I’m afraid so. But don’t worry, everything is going to be alright. Do you know who I am?”

“Are you..a goddess?”

She seemed to brighten up at the mention of goddess. “Yes, although it might be hard to believe given my current appearance.” She gave off a tired sigh as she fiddled with a few strands of hair. “My name is Quingen, but you can just call me Quin. It seems you have a pretty good grasp on things. I take it you know why you are here then?”

My eyes shined. “Am I going to be reincarnated into a fantasy world?”

Quin smiled. “Even better. You’re going to help me fix a fantasy world.”

“Ooooh.” I jumped a little in excitement. “What am I going to do. Topple tyrannical governments, defeat a demon lord, introduce modern technology to improve the lives of the common folk?”

“Nope.” I felt confused at her clear denial. What kind of fixing did this world need? Another laptop materialized in Quin’s hand, which she handed to me.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” I asked.

“You’re going to fix a fantasy world. Proda, to be exact. It is the world I am in charge of developing. Using that laptop, you will assist me in fixing all of the issues and implementing the necessary systems for Proda to be a fully functional fantasy world.”

“...What?” Did I just hear her correctly? Maybe I didn’t die and I just drove back to work and discovered I got yet another manager?

Quin looked confused and tilted her head. “Aren’t you a programmer?”

“Well, yes, but..” I started to stammer a bit, “I thought I was going to become a hero..”

“You are!” She began to nervously laugh a bit as she pulled closer to me. “You’ll be my hero. You’ll get the honor of helping me finish this world I was building. Why, it’s almost like you get to play god. Wouldn’t you say that’s amazing?”

Between the crooked smile and bloodshot eyes, I think this woman was crazy rather than tired. “Uhh,” my eyes darted around the room, before spotting an exit sign floating above a door in the corner. “Yeah..that sure sounds amazing. But not really sure if that’s for me..” I placed the laptop down on the seat beside me and took a step back. 

“W-wait a moment, you’re not turning down this offer, are you?” She takes a few steps forward, standing mere inches away from my face.

I take a few steps back, but she doesn’t seem to get the message and follows me. “Um, sorry, but I imagined this going a bit differently. I was thinking more along the lines of harems and acti-, uh, adventures, and things like that. Not just…” I cringed a little. “..more programming? But, thanks for the offer.” I gave a courteous nod before turning towards the exit. I only took a few steps before I feel two hands grab my shoulders and forcibly spin me around, causing me to face Quin.

“Wait! Don’t leave so soon! You’ll uh, you’ll get paid! And we have great benefits! Health Insurance! Life Insurance! 401k match! Your previous job had those things right, so please! I’ll take care of youuuu!” The intensity of this woman was terrifying. I struggled to pull her iron grip off of me.

“Nnnh, I don’t care about those things!” I shouted as I attempted to pry her off of me. “Why would I need health insurance, I’m already dead aren’t I? Actually wait, why the heck is life insurance a selling point here?” I manage to pull her hands off of me, causing her to stumble backwards a bit and trip. 

“Ow!” She seemed to hold back tears as she rubbed her bottom.

“Ah sorry, but I really don’t want to spend the rest of eternity fixing your world. Now if you’ll excuse me…” I quickly head for the exit- frankly not knowing where it leads to but hoping at the very least that it would just send me to some fantasy world, even sans cheat abilities would be fine. But I soon quickly find myself weighed down by something clinging to my leg. A teary eyed and snotty Quin locks her arms around it. “Aah,” I shake my leg a bit, “let me go!”

“Nuuu! sniff, please don’t go! sniff, I lost my job assigning cheat skills to an AI!! All the other gods and goddesses told me to ‘learn to code,’ but it’s so difficult! Nobody wants to teach me and I can’t get this world functioning properly, pwease help me! If I don’t get this world working I’ll lose my status as a goddess and be banished forever! You’re the only one who can help me! Waaaaa!!!!!” Quin started kicking and crying as she clutched my leg.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I had only really worked as a programmer since I had no other valuable skills and knew it would make a lot of money, so I REALLY didn’t want to keep doing it forever. But here was this helpless goddess before me who had been forced into this position. I couldn’t help but pity her, letting out a reluctant sigh. “Ugh, fine… I can help you out for now..”

She leaped up from the floor and hugged me, squeezing me tightly. I couldn’t help but blush as I once again tried to escape her clutches. “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!! I promise I’ll do everything I can to support you! If you need anything, just let me know! I’m looking forward to working with you, Zero! Let’s both take care of each other!” She continued to smother me until I forcibly pushed her away. Quin had a disappointed look on her face for a brief moment before she broke into a smile.

“Ah, now that I’m not the only employee anymore, I finally have a reason to put up all the company signage!” With a wave of her fingers, the surroundings of her desk changed. A banner appeared which hung overhead from wall to wall. Embroidered in golden letters was the company’s name, “Super Isekai Systems Incorporatedⁿ”.

“What’s the n for?” I asked, curious.

“It’s to symbolize our planned exponential growth!” She said with a smile, giving off a sense of overwhelming pride.

As I look down towards her desk, I see the company’s name painted on the front as well, including the company acronym…

SISCOⁿ.

My eyes move back and forth between the acronym and Quin. She maintains her composure. I come to the realization that this is not the gaze of a helpless programmer, but that of a helpless pervert who has lost her job.

Ah, I hate it. I hate it. I’m getting out of here. I start heading toward the exit again but find my ankles shackled by hands once more...