Quest 1

            So my family doesn’t have a bunch of dead things lying about so the only thing I can do is go back to work until I can figure out what to do with this ability. Figures I would get a taboo class. But I guess I could still be a normie. Granted working like this is still normie like. But I need to figure out how this works.

            Serving customers, making safe drops for extra cash, cleaning, and dumping trash just like every other day, there is no difference. That is until after sunset. I started to notice a little light from just outside the gas station. It is a small orange light, and it’s hardly noticeable under all these florescent bulbs of the station. I wait patiently at first for the last car to leave. But another shows up, then another. It took almost 40 minutes for me to catch a break. So I run out there to the little orange light, and it is road kill. I’m staring at a dead squirrel. It smells like death warmed over and the little bugger is putting out a soft orange glow. Well no shit..

            “UP”

            “get up.” I tell it.

            “resurrect” I order it

            I gesture, and motion and try to coax it up. But I will not touch this thing. Oh it smells so bad. Even flies are swarming the corpse and it’s night. This is a shitty class. I really don’t want to smell that all the time. Trying to figure out what to do I start pacing. As I close into around 10 feet the orange glow turns white. Something tickles my mind. I try touching the tickle and as soon as I grab it the squirrel jumps off the ground like someone just hit it with those shock paddles.

            I leap backwards and half run away in panic. OMG… that’s scary as fuck. Was that me?  Is that the ability? I think I almost had a heart attack there. Breathing heavy, I inch back toward the squirrel until it turns white again. This time I firmly grab that tickling thing in my head and the body springs like something made contact with it. Bones crack and pop as the body inflates enough to move about. And I try to not instantly puke.

            SKREECH!!!!

            A sports car pulls into the station. Two people hop out and they’re deep in conversation. So I run back to the station past the tar pit and four legged dino. The people keep talking and I get a better look at them. One is in robes and gold trim with a really clean look. He has the short crop top cut and several gaudy rings on his fingers. The other guy is a walking muscle house. Yea, has to be melee fighter. They don’t make them like THAT in Texas.

            My mood sags when these guys turn their attention to the shop and they walk on in.

            Ding.. ding. Ding..  chimes the bell on the door.

            Foot after foot falls on the ground as they start walking up toward the counter and they stop their conversation.

            The big man (6” 4’) looks down on me (5” 4’) and gives me a not friendly smile.

            “Hey there little boy. I…”

            I cut him off  “I’m not a boy I’m 29.”

            This irritates him. “I said, Hey there little boy. I wonder what….”

            I cut him off again with the same placid stair  “I’m not a boy I’m 29.”

            The man in white jeers “ohh… is this punk picking a fight?”

            Big man even more annoyed now starts letting out his killer intention as he speaks. “ Stop interrupting me BOY, I’m not asking how old you are. I want to know what your shop is going to compensate us with?”

            “For what?”    

            Now he’s enraged. “FOR WHAT? What’s it look like? We’re heroes you little punk!! It should be obvious!!  What are you retarded?”

            The man in white starts laughing like this is a big comedy skit.

            “No I said I’m 29… I thought you got that the first 2 times I said it.”

            Big man starts leaning over the counter and the metal is bending and he starts pointing at my face while orating. “Don’t get smart with me you dumb little bastard. Without us heroes YOU ARE DEAD!!!” With further raised voice “YOU HEAR ME YOU’RE A DEAD LITTLE PUNK!!”

            “Oh, your heroes…”

            Big man nodding like he finally got through the hardest object known to man. “YES EXACTLY SO WHAT ARE YOU!!! GOING TO COMPENSATE US WITH!!!”

            “My manager said you can have free fountain soda, hot dogs, coffee, or those little Mexican rolls… but the food has been tossed for the day and we don’t make coffee until morning. So if you want that stuff you have to wait for it to cook…  I apologize. We are to avoid…”

            “WHAT, that’s it? That’s all your offering? Are you trying to be fruit with me you little shit?”

            “No sir,” I continued with my deadpan explanation. “my manager told me explicitly that those are the things we give to any and all heroes whenever they come to the store. But if we are being robbed I should call the police or Hero corp incase of a shake down by someone pretending to be a hero. Those were his exact instructions.  I could be fired if I don’t follow the policy to the letter, so that’s why it must be adhered to.”

            “Pathetic…” the man in white turned around and grabbed a snack, a fountain soda and left. But the big man grabbed a case of beer from the display, and a hand full of snacks then walked out the door after glaring at me.

            After that killing intent was turned from me my anger surged. I could feel the squirrel still connected. Inspiration struck and I instructed it to run under the car and up over the muffler. It got up and wedged itself in a nook under the car.

            As the car started up, and peeled out of the station there was a certain amount of satisfaction for this service.

            Ding!!! Congratulations Hero, your first quest is completed! You have unlocked raise lesser undead! You have been awarded 50 xp.

Ding!!! Congratulations Hero, you have challenged an opponent more than 10 levels higher than yourself.  You have been awarded Risk Taker!!! You have been awarded 1000 xp for a superior award.

I am stunned… seriously was that monster really going to kill me? I thought those were rumors or people who were just mentally unstable. Do these ass holes really let people like that loose in the world?

Ding!!! Congratulations Hero, you have survived a near death situation. You faced an opponent more than 10 levels higher than yourself.  You have been awarded Survivor!!! You have been awarded 1000 xp for a superior award.

My legs start quivering, and I have an overwhelming urge to pee…. I try to make my way to the urinal.

Ding!!!  WOOSH!!!  Congratulations Hero, you gained a level! You are Level 1! Lights and fan fair.

I jump, omg that scarred me..

Ding!!!  WOOSH!!!  Congratulations Hero, you gained a level! You are Level 2! Lights and fan fair.

I jerk again, OMG just stop it…

Ding!!!  WOOSH!!!  Congratulations Hero, you gained a level! You are Level 3! Lights and fan fair.

I’m waddling with my knees close and with all my might I’m trying to not get surprised any more. These shocks are terrable on my already shaken bladder.  I also lose the connection to the squirrel. But who cares about that right now.

Ding!!! Congratulations Hero, Vengeance is a dish best served cold. You achieved Vengeance on a superior opponent (ten levels or more), and you are not recognized as the culprit. You have been awarded the Underhanded! All your stealth actions receive a large bonus. Note this is a stealth title, only you and those you want to reveal it to may see it. You have been awarded 1000 xp for a superior award.

I’m crying, really I’m crying now… is that psychopath going to come and hunt me down? Is this system just trolling me. Who ever made this just wants to scare me to the point I piss my pants. I hate you system. You are evil… your being so mean to me. What did I ever do to you?

The bathroom door slammed close and clicked lock.

Ding!!! Congratulations Hero, You achieved Golden Tongue! You spoke in a way to insult and mock a superior opponent (ten levels or more) while speaking enough truth to not be false. All your speaking actions will receive a large bonus because of this award. Nobody likes a glib tongue let alone a Golden Tongue, be careful adventurer. Note this is a stealth title, only you and those you want to reveal it to may see it. You have been awarded 1000 xp for a superior award.

Your trolling, this is obvious… Stop trolling you damn system…

(any suggestion on the Necromancers name? I will consider it. I was debating over Bob, John, Smith, or something very generic. I hope you are enjoying this fiction)