Chapter 1 - II -

 

Loud clanging and crashing noises rudely awakened me immediately after my consciousness returned.  I immediately sprang up from the floor and looked around.

 

“…”

 

A young girl in a maid outfit stood by the door, and she was staring at me with a terrified expression on her face.  

 

“Err, hello?” I waved a little at her, trying to diffuse the tension brought about by our sudden meeting.  However…

 

“Kyaaa!  There’s a boy inside Her Holiness’ room!  Heeeeeeellllllpppppp!” That scream rang out well and echoed throughout the entire place.

 

“Wait—please calm down!” Frantic, I looked back at the bed of the silver-haired saint, hoping that she’d be awake and would solve this awkward situation.  

 

“…”

 

But man, this girl can sleep like a rock!  I mean, that scream by the maid almost tore my eardrums apart, yet the Saint kept on sleeping as if nothing happened.

 

The maid pulled a wand from her uniform then pointed it at me, “Stay where you are, pervert, or Eris will incinerate you!  Don’t you know it’s a crime to enter Her Holiness’ quarters without her permission?”

 

“Oh, is it?” Shit.  Looks like I’m in for some deep trouble…

 

“Well, not yet.” caught off-guard by what I said, the maid lowered her wand a little as she pondered, “But Eris thinks the council of the human kings will issue a decree about trespassing in Her Holiness’ room!  ANYWAY!  The ‘incinerate’ part of Eris’ threat is real, so don’t you move a muscle!”

 

“Err…I, uh, will you please hear me out first?” I kneeled before her, clasping my hands, “I’ve done nothing wrong with that sleeping girl, I swear.  If you’ll look at it, she’s the one at fault for bringing me here!”

 

“HA?” the maid became even scarier, “Did Eris hear what you just said?”

 

“Well, duh…isn’t it obvious?  We’re less than a few meters away from each other.”

 

“Oh right.  Sorry, Eris got carried away.  Haha…” the maid composed herself before shouting, “BLASPHEMY!  You just said blasphemy toward the holy saint!  You’re blaming her for your sins!  Unacceptable!” Her shrill voice was enough for me to wince and cover my ears; I looked back at Saint Maddie, hoping that she’s up by now…

 

“…”

 

Yep, she’s still soundly sleeping.  What the freaking hell?

 

“Good lord, my trouble keeps on increasing…” Panicking, I was thinking about the various legal cases I might end up with at Chersea’s justice court—if there’s any, that is.  “Even blaming the Saint is a crime here?”

 

“Not yet as well.  But Eris thinks it will be, soon.”

 

“What made you say that?”

 

“Eris just thinks so.”

 

God, I’m trapped in a world full of weirdos.

 

 

“Kyaaaaaaaahaha!”

 

The entire place shook by the simultaneous explosions here and there, courtesy of the assorted magic spells being thrown at me by the infuriated servants of Her Holiness.  Naturally, I ran for my life.

 

And yes, that girly scream came from me just now.

 

The Saint’s maids could use magic, and they could do it with deadly precision.  The thirst for blood was clear in their eyes, and their desire to obliterate me was clear.

 

“L-Let me explain my side, p-please!”

 

They never tried to listen, “Burn that boy!  Don’t let him escape!”

 

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

 

“All men are perverts, and perverts are all men!” the maids recited that mantra while marching in unison.  And hey, when did they get those red banners with a swastika?  And why were they doing the goose-step now?  And why was that maid at the front wearing a toothbrush mustache while doing a ‘Nazi’ salute?  

 

“Hitler, is that you?” I muttered a rhetorical question.  Ah, anyway, I have to run!

 

Another fire spell shot from behind me and landed just a few yards from my spot.  Fortunately, I dodged it before exploding.  The resulting force broke all the glass windows and flower vases that lined along the hallways.  Glass and clay shards of various sizes and sharpness scattered all over the floor.  

 

It was then that I realized I was barefooted when I got summoned.  

 

Great!

 

The maids were getting near, and before me were the broken glasses and vases.

 

Oh well, there’s no time for feeling the pain here, I guess.  Between a sore, bloodied foot, or sure death by crazy maidservants, I’d gladly choose the former.  

 

Here we go!  Fucking ruuuuuuuunnnn!  OW!  Ouch!  Damn it, OW!

 

The words of that black-haired saint returned to me, ‘The moment you wake up you’ll have to be quick and prepared.’ I didn’t expect that my life would depend on it.

 

“Uwooohh!”

 

The broken windows were a godsend.  Because of those, I could escape towards the outside world faster than going around in circles; the chances of me getting lost inside this labyrinth of a place were pretty high, after all.  

 

I think I’d be an action-hero for now and get out of this place by jumping through one of those.  Geronimo!

 

Oh shit…this was the second floor.  “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!”

 

My scream tore through the entire place like the shouts from that freaky maid earlier.

 

 

So yeah.  

 

I guess I’m still alive?  And this is the outside?  

 

“…”

 

Yeah, I could make out the clouds passing overhead, and the blue skies, as well as the plants and grasses on what seemed to be a garden.  Well, another good news was that I could feel and move my limbs quite fine too, though my feet had this painful sensation.  

 

Lacerations must have covered my foot from those broken shards earlier.

 

“…”

 

Anyway, uh, I got to escape from this stupid place…

 

Even.  If.  I.  Have.  To.  Crawl.

 

“…”

 

However, I stopped in my path.  There was a pair of boots in front of me.  

 

I’m so freaking dead.

 

“Hey, can you walk?”

 

The boots spoke!  Oh, who am I kidding; of course, it’s a maid.

 

“I, uh, I think I hurt my feet,” I admitted.  Well, there’s no helping it anymore; they caught me.

 

“Yeah, indeed you are.” she gently raised my feet for a bit, “Did you step on broken glasses?”

 

“I came falling from the second floor.  Your friends are seeking to butcher me.  Well, if you plan to turn me over to them, go ahead.  I’m done for, whether or not you capture me, anyway.”

 

“Nah, don’t worry.” She set my back against a tree and scanned my body for other injuries, “My cute subordinates are zealous in protecting Her Holiness that sometimes they get unreasonable.  I, however, am a voice of reason in this place.  Please be at ease.”

 

Finally, a normal person!

 

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I needed to stop it.  This isn’t the time to cry…

 

“!!!”

 

Yeah, this isn’t the time to cry!

 

For those crazy maids had spotted us and were aiming their wands at me.  

 

Good lord, they intended to obliterate me…

 

“Fireball!” “Water blast!” “Icy wind!” “Rock bullet!”

 

“!!!”

 

And even more crazy was this other maid, who was on my side.  She bravely stood before me with a wand in her hand, ready to block the incoming spells.  

 

Oh shit!  I need to dodge—

 

“Rock shield!”

 

An enormous wall of granite then appeared and shielded us from those violent attacks.  The magic salvo nearly destroyed our defense, but it eventually held on…though I thought the friendly maid’s energy got sapped trying to maintain that formidable barrier.  Her legs were wobbling, after all.

 

“Head maid!  Why are you defending that vermin?” someone from the opposing group called out to her.

 

“At least listen to him before you point your wands!” the Head Maid reasoned, “Don’t go throwing those dangerous spells without talking it out first!”

 

I’m saved!  I’m really glad I met this angel!

 

“But a filthy boy like him entered the room of Her Holiness!  How can we reason with him?”

 

The Head Maid never moved from her spot as she shot a suspicious stare at me.

 

Uhh…don’t tell me you fell for their twisted logic, Head Maid?  

 

“Well, that is indeed unforgivable.” she didn’t turn her eyes away from me; the more she looked, the more I felt like I wanted to disappear.

 

I’m doomed.

 

“Fireball!”

 

“Water blast!”

 

“Icy wind!”

 

“Rock bullet!”

 

Here comes the salvo once again!  It was all so sudden that we were both caught flat-footed.  But what was surprising was that the Head Maid never flinched from her spot.  She stood between me and the magic spells.

 

Good lord, if those hit her, she’ll turn to dust!  And why do I keep on narrating here instead of doing something?  Ah, fuck this!

 

Summoning all the strength and courage I had, I quickly uttered a prayer, closed my eyes, and lunged towards the Head Maid.  I threw the entire weight of my body on that push as I intend to keep her away from the incoming projectiles.  

 

Well, of course, I’d got no time to dodge that salvo.  Oh well.  Goodbye Chersea!  It’s not that nice coming into your lands.

 

The magic attacks landed in rapid succession, pulverizing everything in that small area it targeted.

 

 

So I guess, this is heaven?

 

“…”

 

It’s quite smoky in here, I think?

 

“Hey, Mister.”

 

And I can even hear a familiar voice.

 

“Mister, are you fine?”

 

“I think I’m dead.”

 

“Well, if you can talk then it means you’re not dead yet.”

 

“Am I?” Just as I was trying to find out my condition, a strong wind blew the smoke and dust right away.  Before me stood a proud figure, with flowing silver hair and beautiful silvery-blue eyes.  

 

It’s Her Holiness herself, the Saint of Chersea.

 

“I was wondering what the ruckus was all about, and here you are fooling around with my maids.” she dusted herself, “I see that you guys made a mess of the Holy Palatial Gardens.  It’s nice of you not letting me join in the fun, don’t you think?”

 

There was a nasty smirk on the Saint’s face as she dusted herself.  Now that I remember it, she told me before that she wanted chaos to appease her boredom…which led to my summoning.

 

But well, now’s not the time to remember trivial matters.

 

“…”

 

I’m wondering how I survived those magic spells that were hurled at me.

 

“If you’re asking how you got past that…” I guess the Saint could read my thoughts—oh yeah, that black-haired saint from my dream can do it, right?  “You see, Mister, we Saints are a special existence.  Creating powerful barriers against petty magic attacks is child’s play for us.  Now you may start praising me for saving you.”

 

“Uhh…praising the one at fault for taking responsibility for your current predicament…” I could only scratch my head; my body’s feeling the utter exhaustion, “This is stupid.”