Chapter 7 - II -

 

All of my suspicions about the people who harmed Eris pointed first to the Kitchen Department’s Jessica.  It’s not that I’m accusing Jessica as the one responsible for all of this, but questioning her would be the start of looking for the guilty party.

 

“What?  You’re accusing me of something that I won’t even do?” Jessica raised her voice; she’s offended by me confronting her about Eris.

 

“I’m just asking, you know.  Those bruises won’t show up unless someone will intentionally hit her.”

 

“Is it my problem, then?  Now, if you’ll just excuse me, I’ve got more pressing matters to attend to.”

 

“Mister Kuro!” Eris then appeared at the kitchen door; her labored breaths revealed she rushed here.  Perhaps someone told her about me confronting Jessica.

 

“You came at the right time, Eris!” I greeted her, “Now be a good girl and identify the ones who hurt you.”

 

“B-but Eris fell—”

 

“I won’t hear that excuse!” I raised my voice a little, “Don’t underestimate us, adults!  We know what we see.”

 

Eris fell silent.  My tone and attitude horrified her.

 

“Ha!  She can’t even properly refer to herself!” Jessica mocked the little maid, “Are you serious about asking that s-s-s-stammer g-g-girl?”

 

“Shut up.” I shot a glare at the kitchen maid, “Insult my friend one more time, and I won’t be able to hold myself back.”

 

The entire kitchen was silent; barely anyone dared to move as I and Jessica entered a staring contest.  I was ready to fight back then; my fists were raring to go.  I think it’s the first time they saw me that mad.

 

Jessica was taken aback, but she maintained her bluff, “W-what are you going to do then, wuss?”

 

“Oh, nothing.” I showed her my hand, “I just want to hold you tight, Miss Jessica, that’s all!”

 

The sarcasm on the kitchen maid’s face vanished.  She quickly drew her wand and pointed it at me, “Stay back, pervert!  Or I’ll burn you to dust.”

 

“I won’t do that if I were you.” I countered while slowly stepping towards her, “Back in my land, we don’t play with fire inside the kitchen, or we might ignite something flammable.  Coincidentally, this place is mostly made of wood, don’t you think we all might end up getting charred if you burn me, Miss Jessica?”

 

“What do you want from me, asshole?”  Jessica withdrew her wand; well, at least she’s reasonable.

 

“Simple.  Just tell me who did it and why Eris got her injuries.”

 

“I don’t know about it.  Don’t you think you’re meddling with our affairs too much?”

 

“So, you admit that I’m meddling with something I shouldn’t have, like bullying a kid like Eris?”

 

“Guh!  What makes you say that?”

 

“Well, for one, I noticed how you’re rude towards her.  For example, leaving her with no food for quite some time that she fainted, or how about when you mocked her stammering?”

 

“Those are your evidence?”

 

“There’s a second one, don’t worry.  You’re the head of this kitchen.  Of course, your subordinates won’t have the confidence to do something horrendous without your tacit support or direct encouragement.”

 

It’s now Jessica’s turn to be silent; her lips were moving, but there was no voice coming out of them.  She was also averting from my gaze as she stepped back from me.

 

Eris finally spoke up, “I-it’s all b-because of M-mister Kuro…”

 

Ha?  Me?  What did I do this time?

 

“W-when M-mister K-Kuro saved the Head M-maid and c-caught the thief.”

 

Oh…those incidents have something to do with this?

 

“E-Eris t-thought that M-mister Kuro i-is a d-d-different person, s-so she tried to c-convince her f-friends a-about it.  B-because of that, E-Eris was b-bullied.”

 

Damn…this little girl got harmed because she trusted me.  I wanted to cry right now…Cry out of my intense desire to hit this bitch, Jessica, on the face.

 

“Bwahahahahahaha!” Jessica gave out a loud, almost maniacal—and annoying—laugh, “So you say that, Eris!  But who would believe you?  This pervert?  Look around you, if you will!”

 

“!!!”

 

Well, the bitch’s confidence was on her backup group of maids who surrounded us and had their wands drawn, ready to attack anytime.  However, Eris also drew out her wand, and she put herself between me and Jessica.

 

“P-please don’t l-leave Eris’ side, M-mister K-Kuro!”

 

For god’s sake, this kid is trying to protect me!

 

“What if I say here that this pervert tried to get me pregnant?” Jessica wondered aloud.

 

God, I had enough dealing with idiots, “I told you before that science has proven that touching skins with the opposite gender won’t make you preg—”

 

“Silence, pervert!”

 

This was stupid, but I kept quiet.  I shouldn’t say anything anymore…

 

“I don’t care about your ‘sayans’ or whatever crap you’re spouting from your trash world!” the bitch kept on muttering, “All I care is what Her Holiness would say once I plead to her to expel you!”

 

“Well, if it comes to that point, I’d say you’re guilty one, Princess Jessica Mae von Albert.”

 

“!!!”

 

Heh, just in fucking time.  You love grand entrances, don’t you, Your Holiness?

 

“If I may say, I love going along with your plans, Kuro.” Her Holiness the Saint of Chersea winked at me, “My boredom dissipates quickly because of that.”

 

“…”

 

I think Jessica’s soul has already left her mortal body?  She’s all white and stiff.

 

 

Well, I guess everything went out as I planned.

 

Hey, I mean, look.  I knew it sounds bad, but I wanted to exact a terrible vengeance on the bitch, Jessica, and those maids who hurt the poor, little Eris.  So instead of just letting Her Holiness do the job quickly with her mind-reading ability, I asked her to join in my plan to embarrass them.

 

And you know the story.

 

Heh, after all, there could be no great and satisfying scene other than to let your enemy think she’s winning and then crushing all her confidence in one careless mistake she committed.  Then laugh your way out as she desperately tried to cover her blunders but was digging her grave ever more so deeply.

 

Ah, the beauty of vengeance…

 

“…”

 

What, don’t stare at me like that, Your Holiness!  It’s a basic human emotion!

 

“You know, you may be sincere and all, but I think I don’t want to anger you.” Her Holiness remarked as her eyes narrowed.

 

“Sorry.”

 

So anyway, by reading Jessica’s mind, we caught those who hurt Eris.  The bitch herself was not directly involved in that incident, but she—along with the Head Maids of the Grooming and Housekeeping departments—planned to bully Eris for trying to convince the other maids that I’m harmless.

 

And so, Her Holiness and Lily reached a decision.

 

“Well, because of these tragic events, Her Holiness the Saint won’t tolerate this kind of behavior from you!” Lily admonished her erring subordinates, “From this moment forward, you are declared dismissed from the Holy Service.”

 

Jessica and her companions remained indifferent until hearing that verdict.  Eris and I watched on the podium with Her Holiness as Lily began cutting their aprons off.

 

I guess those are the symbols of ‘Holy Service’, eh?

 

The implicated maids, both senior and junior, cried.  Some were even wailing out loud, especially those who had their aprons cut off already.  Even the bitch, Jessica, was now tearful.

 

Honestly, watching them is making me waver.  They looked so pitiful.

 

“Well, if you’re wondering what will happen to them Kuro…” I heard Her Holiness explain, “…dismissal from the Holy Service is almost equal to excommunication for a noble or royalty.  It’s a great and utter disgrace.”

 

Wow…that sounds heavy…

 

I looked at Eris.  I couldn’t exactly tell her expression while watching the scene unfolded, but she it might be safe to say that she’s pitying those maids that had hurt her before.  After all, they were her former comrades.

 

 Ah, shit.  I hate this kind of scene.

 

“Eris.” I whispered to her, “They hurt you terribly but, what do you say?”

 

“M-M-Mister Kuro…” she reached out for my hand and held it tight.

 

Yeah, Eris, I know.  

 

“…”

 

Man, I don’t care already!

 

“Your Holiness!”

 

“What is it Kuro?”

 

“Well, I know you can read my mind.”

 

“I decided not to.” Her Holiness had a nasty smirk, “I wanted to hear what you wanted to say.”

 

“Err…I, uh…”

 

“What?”

 

“Can we reinstate those guys?  Eris is being affected emotionally…”

 

“And…”

 

“Okay, and so do I.” the Saint seemed to be ‘steering’ me into a decision she wanted.

 

“Why?”

 

“Ah come on!  Do I have to explain it?” again, I’m being pulled around by Her Holiness, “Look, your maids over there committed these stupid acts all because they are loyal to you.  I mean, it all started because of me, whom they think is a rabid pervert.  They wanted to protect you from me, so they planned on ejecting me, which didn’t succeed.  And when Eris began thinking the otherwise about me, they thought I might seduce her to get closer to you.”

 

“Ohoh…” Her Holiness smiled and nodded.

 

“So yeah, they resorted to these stupid dramas to drive Eris out.”

 

“Okay, so I get it you don’t want them dismissed?”

 

“Well, isn’t that what you—”

 

“Ahem.”

 

“Yes, it’s what I want to say, alright.” Her Holiness was pushing the responsibility of this decision to me, huh?  Pretty typical of her.

 

“Alright then.” the Saint clapped her hands, “Lily, stop with cutting those aprons.  Reissue new ones to those who were already cut.  Your man doesn’t want any dismissals to happen at this moment.”  So she said, but I think it also relieved Her Holiness that Eris and I backed down and forgave those idiots.

 

Well, Her Holiness cares for her servants after all, though she may be a conceited brat sometimes.

 

“Hey, Kuro.  That was uncalled for, that last comment about me.”

 

“Ah, Mister Kuro!” it was the bitch, Jessica, “Thank you for forgiving us.”  she bowed.  Well, she also changed her manner of speech to me just now, so I guess it’s pretty fine.

 

“Don’t just thank me; Eris also has a part in that decision.”

 

Jessica then turned to the little maid and held her hand.  She also apologized to her, eventually thanking her for forgiveness.  Then, after that, I offered Jessica a handshake.

 

“Uh, I really may get pregnant, Mister Kuro.”

 

“As I told you before, touching skins with the opposite gender won’t make you pregnant.”

 

“Kuro’s right, Jessica.” Her Holiness chirped in, “It’s pretty harmless; it’s just a handshake, you know.”

 

“Oh, o-okay…” Jessica reached out, and we shook hands.

 

“You can get pregnant by kissing, by the way.” Her Holiness added.

 

“…”

 

I’m dumbfounded.  Seriously, Your Holiness?

 

Why was everyone around me kept on believing those stupid old wives’ tales?  I guess I had to find a way on how to tell these girls how pregnancy worked…of course without sounding perverted and all.

 

Haaa…and so ended the part of my story where the ‘Isekai’ theme turned into a lousy ‘detective high school’ fiction.  Well, I didn’t understand how’d that happen, so don’t ask me.  And by the way…

 

This world is really stupid!