Copyright © 2020 Kaizer Wolf
Innocent Devil's Harem | Chapter 15-3: Testing Her Limits
Fuck, that brought up another concern.
Could Gabriella even stomach drinking blood from a living animal? I mean, she was a vegetarian before all this, and yeah she was kind of alright with eating meat, but this was an entirely different situation.
“R-Right,” I said hesitantly, my thoughts moving to considering how we could test our limitations out. “Oh, and can I borrow your gun?” I asked, directing my question to my housemate.
That caught them all off guard, everyone looking at me like I was crazy.
“To shoot yourself?” Nick clarified in disbelief.
I nodded, causing Serenity to gasp.
“Kai!” she exclaimed. “Isn’t there some other way?”
I focused on her again, giving her a sympathetic look. “To see how much I can get hurt, before I might lose control? No, I don’t think there is.”
She grimaced, taking a shallow breath. “You just better be careful! I can’t lose you! You’re basically the only one I have left!”
I fully understood how she felt, knowing that there was no one who could replace her in my life.
I gave her a weak smile. “I know. And I’m not going to try to kill myself. I’ll stop before it gets to that point. But I also can’t risk killing some random person just because I don’t know what my limits are.” I sighed heavily. “I love you, Ren.”
“I love you too,” she whispered, still seeming against the idea, but knowing I was determined.
I bent down to give her a quick hug, and then grabbed Gabriella’s hand to lead her over to where I’d left Serenity’s gun after collecting it from her kidnapper’s car the previous night, followed by heading out past the stairs to the backdoor. Once we got outside, Gabriella started apologizing again, obviously still feeling miserable about what she’d done.
I shook my head in response, leading her past the shed into the trees. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know this would happen. I wouldn’t have bitten you if I’d known.”
She was quiet for a few seconds as she absorbed that. She then tentatively spoke up. “Kai…I feel horrible about what I did. Like, really horrible.” She paused. “But, if this means I’ve really become like you, then that makes me kind of glad. It makes me feel closer to you now.”
“It does?” I said in surprise, glancing back at her still-vibrant emerald eyes.
She nodded, a slight blush appearing beneath her tan cheeks. Her tone was more lighthearted, with it being obvious she was trying to lighten my mood. “If anything, it might mean I can actually overpower you in bed now.”
I unexpectedly chuckled at that, which was a nice temporary release from all the tension I felt.
Gabriella smiled weakly in response, seeming happy to have made me laugh, but clearly still feeling miserable.
I took a deep breath, still a little amused as I shook my head. “Wow, you really have a one-track mind, don’t you?” I teased.
She gave me a slightly more playful look. “Normally it’s guys with that kind of problem, but when I’m with you, I just can’t help myself.”
I gave her a small smile. “As if you didn’t already do what you wanted before,” I said with mock disbelief.
She finally smiled more fully, before it vanished just as fast. “I love you,” she whispered somberly.
“I love you too,” I replied sincerely. “Now, we need to get you something to eat, hopefully–” My voice cut off when her expression suddenly became serious, as she started looking around. It was enough for me to quickly focus on my senses in alarm, only to not notice anything significant.
Just the trees rustling in the wind, the bird singing at each other, a few early cicadas chirping in the distance. It was actually kind of peaceful, or would have been were it not for what just happened in the house.
“What’s wrong?” I asked after a moment.
Her vibrant emerald eyes focused on me. “It’s just, you said your senses were stronger than regular people. But I don’t feel much different than usual, except maybe a little stronger.” She then held up her arms, focusing on her tan skin. “And I can’t seem to turn back to normal. I tried earlier after I was done cleaning up the floor, but nothing happened.” She sighed. “Although, I’m not really sure how to do it anyway.”
I honestly wasn’t sure either, since I had no idea how to explain a process that I’d just done naturally all my life.
I just did it.
I took a deep breath. “Well, let’s just focus on finding an animal to hunt for right now. We can worry about the details later.”
Gabriella frowned briefly before agreeing with a nod, prompting us to set off to hunt down a deer. I figured that would be easier for her than a predator like a coyote, or something really small that she might perceive as cute, like a squirrel. Granted, I wasn’t sure how she was going to do no matter what I picked out.
As we moved quickly, I noticed that she was definitely faster than a normal person, but there was no way she’d ever be able to outrun a four-legged animal at this point.
Still, it was surprisingly nice to run beside her at such an accelerated speed. In gym at school, I of course always had to hold back, making sure I wasn’t the fastest person, in order to avoid the coach trying to recruit me for track or something. Thus, I was familiar with running beside others. However, going at a pace that would be considered world record breaking for humans was a different experience.
Primarily because I’d never been around anyone who could even remotely keep up with me. It made me look forward to, and hope, that maybe Gabriella would actually get faster as time progressed, though I had no idea what to expect from this seemingly unprecedented transformation.
Once I located a deer with my nose and ears, I asked her to wait so I could catch it for her, knocking it unconscious and dragging it back. However, much to my surprise, when she caught sight of me, she eagerly ran to meet me halfway, suddenly seeming extremely cheerful.
And then, even more shocking, she didn’t even hesitate when I held the head up by its small antlers, wrapping her arms around the buck’s neck as she bit into its furry throat, readjusting her teeth a few times until she had the blood flowing, beginning to slurp it up with each heartbeat.
Seriously, I was in shock.
I watched her in disbelief, continuing to support most of the deer’s weight as she drank until its heart began sputtering and eventually stopped.
Finally, she pulled back, some of the blood having gotten on her already-torn shirt.
“Wow,” she exclaimed emphatically, a huge grin on her face, a little bit of blood actively disappearing on the corners of her mouth as it seemed to get absorbed into her skin. “That was extremely satisfying.”
“You liked it?” I asked seriously.
She nodded, leaning forward and grabbing my face to give me a long kiss on the lips, prompting me to drop the deer.
“Yep!” she agreed cheerfully, grinning up at me. “It was like caramel popcorn, but in liquid form. Salty, sweet, and buttery all at once. Possibly the best thing I’ve ever tasted…” She lowered her voice, gently rubbing her thumbs along my jaw. “Aside from your cum,” she added.
I cleared my throat, only able to nod.
She tilted her head to the side slightly. “What’s wrong?” she wondered, her expression adorable.
“Umm, you just seem different,” I admitted. “Like, you’ve gone from vegetarian to drinking blood in less than a day, as if it’s no big deal.”
She pouted. “Is it because of my smell?” she asked. “Did it change?”
I gave her a confused look. “No, but what does that have to do with anything?”
Her pout deepened. “Well, you never did tell me if that’s why you didn’t want me to stop being vegetarian.” She sighed. “But remember, I told you I grew up that way. I don’t have a particular issue with eating meat, other than habit. And I’d much rather kill a deer than accidentally kill a person.” She shivered then, dropping her hands from my face and wrapping her arms around herself. “It really scares me thinking about what might have happened if you hadn’t been there to wake me up.”
Honestly, I didn’t want to think about it either.
Because if I hadn’t been around, Gabriella could have killed my friend, and that was a horrifying thought indeed. Not to mention, I couldn’t even imagine how my fiancé would have felt when she did finally wake up, only to discover that she was drinking from Serenity’s neck.
I mean, being completely honest, if I woke up like that, I probably would have killed myself.
Especially if it was Serenity.
Which was even more reason to figure out what our limits were, to make sure nothing like that ever happened to either of us.
Unexpectedly, Gabriella cheered up again, dropping her arms and interrupting my thoughts. “So then, I still smell good?” she asked, sounding hopeful.
I just stared at her in disbelief, surprised by how quickly her emotions seemed to be shifting. “Umm, yeah. You still smell as amazing as always. Your scent hasn’t changed at all.” I frowned then, really focusing on it, wondering why it was the same.
I’d already considered that it might actually be because she was part-succubus, something that I’d almost forgotten about with everything going on. But I supposed this really confirmed that my assumption about her diet being the cause was wrong, because not only had she eaten meat the previous day, but she’d also just drank more blood than should be possible for her stomach to hold. Yet, she still had that intoxicating smell somewhat similar to the taste of maple syrup.
So then, maybe it was truly because she was part-succubus.
Granted, we hadn’t actually confirmed that yet, since Gabriella’s mom hadn’t gotten back to her.
However, either way, Serenity usually had the same base scent too, despite what she ate, just not as potent as Gabriella’s aroma, and much more normal too. So I shouldn’t be so surprised it wasn’t due to her diet.
Although, with my housemate’s scent, while she didn’t smell bad to me, I’d never compare it to something related to food. Serenity just smelled like a human female – a very familiar scent that was extremely comforting, but not appetizing. Or more specifically, the scent itself didn’t provoke my sexual appetite, like Gabriella’s smell did.
Copyright © 2020 Kaizer Wolf
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Yeah it is totally a succubus thing...
Hell, I'm still upset over the cigarette butt.
Oh come on, he acknowledged her still being part succubus, but doesn't even try to connect the dots of the way she is acting to her heritage
Two things.
His slowness to realize that possible aspect only seems that way because you're reading a part at a time. If this was in book format, then you probably wouldn't feel like he was being slow at all.
Also, if this was real life, you'd probably be hesitant to truly believe that another human was actually a succubus. Of course, from your current perspective, you know that this is just a story and that it has succubi in it, based on the tags, and overall are aware it's fiction and has supernatural elements. But if this was real, and you were living the MC's life out, I'd be super surprised if you'd think 'Oh yeah, this hot chick is really part-succubus.' Then again, maybe you'd have more of an open mind than the average person. But even if someone was different like the MC is, most people wouldn't automatically assume that everything fantasy related was real.
And the truth is, not everything in this story is going to mimic traditional supernatural concepts.
Perfect example of that, in this story, is that when he meets the succubi, he's not going to just assume 'this is how it probably works.' He's going to ask how it works, and find out that some things are exactly what he might have imagined, and other things are not what he would have assumed.
But honestly, the biggest thing is the pace of reading. Out of all the people who've read this on my Patreon, no one has ever had a problem with his hesitation to admit the connection, and that's only because I usually release bigger chapters less frequently, with a lot of people waiting for a several chapters to pile up before binging them.
(Well, and for this particular part in the story, we are up to Chapter 40 on my Patreon, so people can quite literally binge a crap ton of the story all at once.)
Obviously, I know not everyone can support over there, but how much of the story you're able to binge at once does seem to affect the perception of the MC's hesitation to connect all the dots.
Plus, with the transformation thing in particular (very minor spoiler):
The transformation thing is something that he waits to 'verify' by seeing how other people react to his blood, before making assumptions. And the assumptions you are thinking are obvious are only partially true.
@KaizerWolf
It isn't that he should be thinking her being part succubus is definitely the cause. The part that annoys me is how he is aware of the fact she is probably part succubus, and isn't asking the questions of whether or not that is the reason for her change.
Regardless of what I would think, he knows he isn't normal. which means others may not be as well, that is logic. I know this guy spends the majority of his life in denial about everything, but come on. He knows that there is a high chance she is part succubus. She has all of this information too. However, all that either of them think is possible is him biting her caused her to change.
That annoys me regardless of how slow or fast I read the chaps, the difference is that I have more time to analyze these thoughts without the immediate answer being presented by being able to continue. That allows me to see how this situation doesn't make sense with all the information presented up to this point. I won't say it couldn't happen, but I have a hard time believing a reasonably smart person wouldn't connect the dots as a possible answer.
@John764
Editing to try to consolidate my thoughts into a short summary:
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Okay, so in summary, his train of thought is realistic because it's egotistical and he is blaming himself for this. He is thinking "I did this" and "it's my fault this happened" rather than "this happened because of 'what' Gabriella is." And that doesn't make a person dumb. It just means that they are focused on different starting questions.
Someone in his situation isn't going to jump to "oh, this happened because of HER and what SHE is" (using caps only for emphasis). He starting with "this happened because of ME and what I AM" and "the trauma my sister just experienced was MY fault (not Gabriella's), etc."
He has been nonhuman all his life, and only just recently found out that Gabriella might be something different too. That kind of ingrained thinking isn't going to be easily overcome. His reflexive reaction and thought is going to be 'this is because of me.'
Now, I will say that if Nick was aware of the situation, then he would definitely be the person to point out it might be because of what she is. However, from Kai's perspective, his focus is much more egotistical and he's going to more readily believe that it was his fault and the cause was 100% him, versus thinking it might be because Gabriella isn't fully human, etc.
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My original response: Right, but that's the thing though. You've had time to analyze the situation, whereas the characters haven't had much time to process it at this point. And that assumption might be a reflexive 'oh, I bet it's this' for you, but it might not be for the next person, even though you think it's obvious given the previous information. You might even think 'how could anyone think differently,' but that's exactly what does happen all the time (I'll put the exact reason why that's the case under a spoiler tag below).
But here's the thing though, on a bit of a side note, 1) it's actually impossible to write a character that thinks of every option (even if one of those options seems obvious to you, because you would have thought it), and 2) (minor spoiler) what you think is actually the reason (her biology), isn't actually the reason, and I explain below why her being part-succubus doesn't jump to the forefront of his mind (and why it's reasonable that it wouldn't be the first thing he thinks of).
And I can guarantee you that if you wrote a character you thought was smart, you'd have someone out there criticize their decisions, thinking they are dumb, because 1 mind cannot compete with 100's of other minds, who are all looking at a situation from different angles, and whereas one person comes to one conclusion they think is obvious, another person comes to a completely different conclusion of what's obvious.
Anyway, let me illustrate exactly why that is, by sharing what you're thinking is obvious, vs the conclusions the MC is coming to, and why both are valid:
Okay, so there are actually two trails of thought here, based on the fact that he's never bitten anyone before, and nothing like this has ever happened. Either 1) it happened uniquely to Gabriella because she's part-succubus, a point that was only briefly brought up and might not even be true, or 2) this is something that can happen to anyone he bites, under the right circumstances, which is a very logical and realistic (because it's egotistical) approach to take, especially with the recent discovery of his need to drink blood might be readily compared to vampires.
From our MC's perspective, he met Gabriella with the perception that she was human, and believed her to be human for the 2 or 3 months that he knew about her, and continued to think she was human after he met her. He then found out she might be part-succubus, and while it is true that maybe he shouldn't be so hesitant to believe it's true, it would actually be a bad idea to assume it happened because she's part-succubus.
It's better for him to collect more evidence, before coming to a conclusion. And I realize that the reason why you think he is being dumb is because 'it's obvious she's a succubus, so that's probably the reason' but from his perspective he's thinking 'this happened to Gabriella and can probably happen to others too, whether she's succubus or not.'
Essentially, and I'll put this below the spoiler in case you don't want to check out the spoiler section, you're thinking with the train of thought "this happened because of 'what SHE' is" (emphasis on her) whereas he is thinking "this is happening because of 'what I' did" (emphasis on him) and he thus thinks 'I need to figure out the exact trigger based on my own actions, not hers.'
So he's not dumb, he just isn't focused on the same starting question as you, and hasn't had much time to really process the situation, and overall is approaching it from a different angle. The 'transformation' was 'his' fault, not Gabriella's fault, and everything he thinks about stems from that, albeit egotistical, perception, which is why the question of her biology doesn't automatically jump to the forefront of his mind.
That doesn't make a person dumb. Just different in how they perceive the situation. And what seems obvious to you, isn't obvious to someone else, and vice versa. Seriously, I guarantee if you wrote a character in a situation, you'd have someone out there saying the person was dumb for not thinking of X, Y, Z when you thought it was obvious they would think of A, B, C due to a totally different starting focus.
Essentially, and I'll put this below the spoiler in case you don't want to check out the spoiler section, you're thinking with the train of thought "this happened because of 'what SHE' is" (emphasis on her) whereas he is thinking "this is happening because of 'what I' did" (emphasis on him) and he thus thinks 'I need to figure out the exact trigger based on my own actions, not hers.'
So he's not dumb, he just isn't focused on the same starting question as you, and hasn't had much time to really process the situation, and overall is approaching it from a different angle. The 'transformation' was 'his' fault, not Gabriella's fault, and everything he thinks about stems from that, albeit egotistical, perception, which is why the question of her biology doesn't automatically jump to the forefront of his mind.
That doesn't make a person dumb. Just different in how they perceive the situation. And what seems obvious to you, isn't obvious to someone else, and vice versa. Seriously, I guarantee if you wrote a character in a situation, you'd have someone out there saying the person was dumb for not thinking of X, Y, Z when you thought it was obvious they would think of A, B, C due to a totally different starting focus.
@KaizerWolf
I never said he was dumb, and yet that seems to be the focus of your response. I said it annoys me that he isn't taking the possibility into account, when in this very chapter he acknowledged her part succubus trait.
You write the characters thoughts, beliefs and decisions. So, him, and Gabriella, not thinking about it feels like they are being pigeon holed into being incapable of seeing a connection, regardless if it is the right answer.
My thoughts were, either him or Gabriella realize what her mom said about being part succubus could be related. Then this would cause them to seek out potential answers from her mom. This would result in the ambiguity of him being the cause it no longer being in question. That is if her mom could gve enough insight into succubus traits from her own experiences. So both characters ignoring a clear factor in understanding the cause of her change, seems like a forced plot point.
In conclusion, I never said that the reason is for certain because of her heritage. I was questioning why the fact that she is such a being not being brought up. I never said he was dumb, I was annoyed how a clear potential answer to the situation was being ignored. I also am not saying that such an obvious point couldn't be missed. However, they are literally talking about her succubus traits and not once does either of them go "hey, now that we are talking about, could me/you being part succubus be related to my changes?"
I know how stories work and they are written by, usually, one person. I realize that maybe, since you have all of the information, such a way of the characters figuring things out didn't occur. Even so, for me, it feels like the characters are having their logic being held back somewhat in this instance. I am talking about both characters here, not just the guy who thinks everything is his fault and can be the only reason for things to go wrong.
@John764 I think the reason why I thought you were saying he is dumb is largely because when I see feedback like that (not directed at me), it's often due to the author intentionally causing the characters to not consider an option for the sake of the plot.
However, I can assure you that's not the case in this situation. Because, whether they consider that option or not, it doesn't really change how the plot progresses. They will pursue speaking with Gabriella's mom either way, but she has reasons for being unavailable either way, and ultimately the progression of the plot wouldn't change if they'd considered that idea or not.
And you are correct that 'me having all the information' can cause me to miss what might otherwise be a logical thought to others. In fact, I've had to make drastic changes in certain parts of other stories, due to this fact (where I didn't adequately communicate the reasoning of the character). It's just that, the reason why I was trying to make an argument in this situation was because I sincerely didn't feel like them not considering that idea equated to it being forced.
One of the reasons why brainstorming with a group of people can be so effective is because not everyone thinks of everything, even when certain things are obvious. And this is a great example. Out of all the people who have read this story, you two are the first two who have ever commented (here or on Patreon) about wondering why they aren't considering that as an option. Of course, not everyone speaks up, but usually people do when they have an issue with something. But that just goes to show that you thought something should be obvious that many others didn't think much of.
It's just how our brains work. I've found myself in situations when I was dealing with something, and then later on that night when I'm going to bed, I've been replaying the situation and only think after the fact something that was obvious that I should said or brought up, etc. That kind of thing happens a lot to people in real life.
Anyway, I like discussing these aspects, and I usually find it fun to do so, so I'm not trying to get in an actual argument about it. I try to write characters that are overall intelligent and who don't make dumb decisions for the sake of the plot, so I apologize if you feel like I've failed on that point.
@KaizerWolf
To be honest, the only reason it really bothered me is because they are discussing her being a succubus while trying to understand what happened to her. If it was all internal in the MC's head, I would mind less. I would still be frustrated, but less so. However, since they are both talking about something that is relevant to the situation, them not considering it stood out to me.
With the information of her likely being supernatural, even though they don't know for certain anything, it should come into question.
I hope I am getting across why it stands out. Obviously it doesn't really matter in the end, cause the story will progress regardless. But for me, their lapse in thinking things through when the potential answers are right in front of them, it just broke my immersion.
The story is still good, and this is a small thing for me. But I just wanted to get my point across.