Copyright © 2020 Kaizer Wolf
Innocent Devil's Harem | Chapter 16-2: Realizing My Mistake
Did I mess up?
Was this some kind of test to see if I’d respect her wishes and I fucked it up?
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, unsure if she heard me. When she didn’t respond, I lifted my head and repeated it louder. “Gabriella, I’m really sorry.”
She shook her head, slowly turning around to face me, keeping her gaze averted. “Kai, I want you. I really do. But I think I need to talk to my mom before we do this again. I’m scared I might hurt you.”
My heart sank. “But I’m fine,” I said desperately. “Gabriella, we’ve had sex several times now, and I’m perfectly fine.”
“I know,” she agreed. “And I’ll try to talk to my mom today, if possible.” She took a deep breath. “But Kai, I think we also need to consider more than just the effect I might be having on you.” She finally met my gaze hesitantly. “Kai, I think we also need to consider the effect you might be having on me.”
“W-What do you mean?” I said in surprise.
She abruptly looked away again, her pupils visibly dilating a little before she did. “Kai, your gold eyes are mesmerizing. More than that. When I look at you when you’re transformed, I feel like…” Her voice trailed off.
Suddenly, it felt like someone slapped me in the face as I recalled my housemate kissing me earlier that morning – recalled how her expression looked as she held my gaze.
Did I…
Did I ‘make her’ kiss me?
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
“Feel like what?” I prompted in a whisper, hoping she didn’t say what I thought she might say.
Gabriella sighed heavily. “Like, I just want you really bad. I mean, I already want you, but sometimes when I’m holding your gaze it feels like my mind goes blank, apart from that sole desire. It happened on the couch when we first slept together, and a few times since then as well.”
Fuck!
I immediately tucked my head in between my knees again, feeling horrible, ashamed, embarrassed, and disgusted at myself. Because I made my lifelong friend kiss me! She didn’t want to. I was sure she didn’t want to, and when she snapped out of it, she seemed so ashamed of herself!
But it was my fault!
Fuck!
“Kai, what’s wrong?” Gabriella asked urgently, taking a few steps toward me, clearly seeing my distress.
I couldn’t look up at her, feeling so miserable now that I didn’t even care what she might think. Really, I didn’t care if she’d be angry, because I felt like I deserved for her to be angry. I deserved for her to hate me.
“Gabriella, I kissed Serenity this morning,” I blurted out.
“O-Oh,” she said hesitantly, sounding surprised.
“I think I made her,” I added in a rush. “I was transformed, and really she kissed me, but she was holding my gaze and then suddenly she was in my lap…” My voice trailed off, having the desire to shoot myself again.
For a different reason this time.
To cause myself pain, as punishment for what I’d done.
It was unforgivable.
I continued. “And then she put a stop to it.” I sucked in a ragged breath. “Gabriella, she seemed so ashamed, and I didn’t feel like it was my fault because she was the one who kissed me, but now I realize I made her do it.” I shook my head between my legs. “Fuck, I forced myself on her.”
Gabriella didn’t respond for a long few seconds. She then cleared her throat. “Kai,” she said gently. “It’s true that it feels like that desire is the only thing on my mind when I hold your gaze sometimes.” She paused. “But that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re causing the desire to happen.”
I finally looked up at her, knowing my body looked normal again, my eyes their usual color. “You think Serenity really wanted to kiss me?” I asked in disbelief, sincerely doubting that now.
She gave me a sympathetic look. “I think you should at least talk to her about it. And after I speak with my mom, I think we need to discuss that too.”
I sighed heavily, only to nod. “Yeah, I guess. Serenity already said she wanted to talk about it later, but at least now I can tell her it was my fault, instead of letting her feel bad for crossing that line. Because it wasn’t her. It was all me.”
“Maybe,” she agreed softly. “But Kai, let’s keep all this in perspective. I still want you, and I’m hoping that we’ll all be in each other’s lives for a long time, so let’s just focus on being honest with each other and work through all this together. Serenity included.”
I looked at her in confusion, uncertain of what she was trying to say.
She continued, in response to my expression. “What I mean is, don’t just assume you made her. Talk to her first. Explain what might be going on, and see what she says. Have a conversation about it, rather than just telling her what you think you did, and beating yourself up about it.” She took a deep breath. “And please don’t be mad at me for wanting to wait a day or two before we have sex again. I care about you, more than I want to screw you, and I want to make sure I’m not accidentally hurting you when we do stuff. Because you were really sore the first time, and there might be more at risk than just physical harm.”
I sighed heavily, knowing she was right. Of course, there were a lot of legends about sex demons, with the succubus in particular having a lot of variations in folklore, including the kind that killed those they slept with. But none of that necessarily translated to the real thing.
Plus, Gabriella might only be a sixteenth succubus, which might change things.
But then again, I’d obviously done something to her with my bite…
And if she wasn’t completely human to begin with, then how might that affect the succubus side of her?
Assuming she truly was…
Really, we just needed to get confirmation from her mom on what we were dealing with, and try to figure out what the risks might be. Then, we could go from there. I was hopeful Gabriella didn’t have a need to have sex though, since she’d gone so long without it. Because a need for regular sex, coupled with a certain lethality to it, was a horrible combination.
And it was the reason why I wondered if frequency might be a problem for Gabriella’s parents.
I mean, if it worked for them, then great. But I really didn’t want to suffer through that. I couldn’t go through with that. I didn’t like it, didn’t want to like it, and didn’t want to find myself in a position where I was forced to like it in order to avoid being miserable.
Just the idea that I had been even sort of considering that possibility, and even being okay with it, when I felt drugged by her scent only moments ago, was alarming.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, another idea hitting me.
Gabriella didn’t seem mad about me kissing Serenity.
Not at all.
I focused up at her. “So,” I began hesitantly. “Were you serious about sharing me? Because it kind of sounds like you’re okay with what I did.”
She frowned slightly, seeming pensive now. “Well, I guess it’s because I feel like I’m stepping on Serenity’s toes,” she admitted. “Assuming she truly does have feelings for you, then I feel like that makes me the mistress, instead of the other way around. Because I kind of swooped in and stole you from under her nose.” She sighed heavily. “I still want to be important to you. I want you to love me like your only woman. But I know I can’t compete with the relationship you two share. Especially not after all you’ve been through together.”
I nodded slowly, searching for any signs that she wasn’t being entirely forthcoming. But as far as I could tell, she was being blunt about how she felt.
“Well, you are important to me,” I said seriously. “And I really do want to marry you,” I added, only to glance away. “But yeah, I’m not sure if I can let Serenity go entirely. Assuming she feels the same way.”
Gabriella scoffed then, her tone a little more playful. “Well, I sure hope you want to marry me,” she said, holding out her hand to show off her engagement ring. “Would be awkward for you to ask me when you weren’t really into it.”
I smiled slightly at her. “Yeah, that would be awkward,” I agreed, only to do a double-take when I realized she’d lost some of her color. Or rather, she looked a bit more normal.
“What’s wrong?” she asked in alarm, her coloring instantly looking as vibrant as ever. Her hair so red it was almost glowing, her emerald eyes similarly super bright, her skin a deep tan.
“Oh, sorry,” I said after a second. “It’s just, I think your hair was starting to look more normal. Your skin too, before I freaked you out.”
“Oh,” she replied in surprise, holding up her arms, focusing on the one with the torn sleeve.
Nothing happened.
“Maybe try taking a deep breath and relaxing,” I suggested, deciding to get to my feet and pull up my shorts.
She nodded, her huge chest puffing out as she sucked in a breath, slowly letting it out as she rolled her shoulders once, attempting to relax. Slowly, her skin started becoming a little more pale, as if her tan was fading away, her red hair dimming in saturation as if she was a picture on my phone that I was messing with.
Then, all at once, she abruptly shifted the rest of the way, suddenly looking completely normal.
Her skin was pale, her hair was still bright red, but not like it had been, and her eyes were now…
Still vibrant green – that seemed to be the only difference.
Her eyes were really bright before, but not like this. Still, overall, she looked like she was entirely back to her normal appearance.
Gabriella blinked a few times, seeming to notice the abrupt transition, focusing on me after a moment.
“Huh,” she commented, holding up her arms a little higher to look at her skin again. “That was…” She paused. “Different. I think I can do it ‘at will’ now,” she added, only for her appearance to abruptly shift a second time.
Just like that, she had the stripper look, her skin tan, her hair looking dyed bright red.
She continued after a second. “I can feel it.”
“You can?” I said in surprise. “What does it feel like?” After all, I had no recollection of ever being normal, so I had nothing to compare it to.
Shifting back to her pale complexion, she crossed her arms under her heavy chest, seeming pensive now. “Well, it’s sort of like I have a new muscle I can flex. Except, it’s everywhere. I can feel even my organs shift inside me when I flex it, which is a really bizarre sensation.” She uncrossed her arms to look at her right one again. “Granted, it’s probably not a muscle, but that’s kind of what it feels like.” She then focused on me. “Although, it makes sense that you’d have a hard time appearing normal under threatening or arousing circumstances.”
“It does? Why?”
She gave me an affectionate smile. “Because that’s what muscles do naturally when people are stressed. They tighten, as a reflex. And even though this isn’t really a muscle, it probably activates in a similar manner. You can choose to do it, but in certain situations, I’d imagine it becomes difficult not to.”
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She gave me an affectionate smile. “Because that’s what muscles do naturally when people are stressed. They tighten, as a reflex. And even though this isn’t really a muscle, it probably activates in a similar manner. You can choose to do it, but in certain situations, I’d imagine it becomes difficult not to.”
Makes sense.
Yeah, the author really thought this one through.