Later that day I headed out to find a library. After a few hours holed up in my room, I'd come to the conclusion that I couldn't decipher the Tannel family's research without further context. I could make some educated guesses as to the new concepts used in reference to the study of magic, but there was a lot of more basic knowledge that I was missing, and concepts regarding other subjects, that seemed to be taken for granted, but eluded my understanding nonetheless. Particularly a lot of historical events were frequently referenced in connection to the Fae rift, that had happened decades or centuries after my death.
For just one example, there were several references to an incident that occurred early on after the rift had been established, where the local lord had ended up in conflict with the fae and was forced to withdraw from the area. If I understood correctly, Mary had subsequently negotiated a deal with the fae, a prospect that had me rather unnerved as I recalled the old tales about the fae, thus securing the Tannel family's influence at the Altrel academy.
But I had no idea about the contents the bargain, nor what the current status of the academy and the rest of the rift's surroundings were, and which, if any, state claimed or governed the region. For that matter, three centuries was long enough to have seen the maps of the entire continent revised a lot of times, and I didn't know how many of those revisions recorded the births of new states or the deaths of old ones.
Besides, I needed to familiarize myself with all the libraries at the academy anyway, for the purpose of my continued studies. Whether it was my studies at the academy, or any further research into the Fae rift and the other anomalies, that I would need to conduct once I caught up with what Mary and her descendants had discovered, I expected that for the time being I'd be largely reliant on the resources that the academy provided to its students.
Looking at my map of the academy, I had been surprised, in a pleasant way, when I had discovered that there were, on the academy grounds, not just one but three entire buildings named for the libraries that they presumably held. And looking at the map, which I had to note was in itself rather a marvel, in how it seemed to depict everything accurately to scale, it seemed that any of these libraries were probably at least comparable in size to the academy's old library, the one that had three centuries ago been one of the largest collections of knowledge.
As I had no indication for which of these large libraries held the most relevant knowledge to the questions that I struggling with, I chose to simply head for the Grand Library. Whether by name or the size of the building, it seemed that it should be the largest one, so I was sure that it'd have something for my preliminary research.
But when I saw the building, I had to think that the library was 'grand' at least as much because of the shell as for its contents. The map had told me that it was one of the largest buildings on the academy grounds, but what it hadn't shown was that it was truly grand in style as well. Much different from what I'd pegged as the more modern style, the Grand Library was architecturally awe-inspiring. On the facade of the building, behind huge pillars and under decorated arches, were depictions of several of the divines, with Nefraos fittingly in place of honor, on a platform above the entrance itself.
What I found inside was perhaps even more impressive. Most of the first floor seemed to be a single large space, with divisions only made by large the bookshelves. There was a second floor as well, carried by more pillars and arches, but there were several large openings in it. Through these openings streamed in sunlight to the ground floor as well, coming in from sections on the roof made out of glass panes. This arrangement left less room for the books themselves, as all shelves were kept far enough away for direct sunlight not to touch them, but that created a pleasantly spacious impression. Around the spaces left open were arranged tables and comfortable looking chairs, where natural light made for nice locations for reading at daytime.
There certainly was no shortage of books however, but rather the quantity that I was looking at was even more impressive than the building itself. Aside from the bookshelves everywhere around me, I could see a couple of side rooms as well, the likes of which could presumably be found on each side of the building, which were filled to the brim with books. As I inspected the rows upon rows of neatly bound volumes, I was stunned at how so many books of such uniformly high quality could ever have been manufactured. Faced with such plentitude, not many steps past the entrance, I was already at a loss with where to even start.
"Is there something specific you are looking for? I might be able to help."
I had a small fright, having been too distracted by the wondrous sight before me to notice any sign of a person approaching. To sense such details from the mana around me usually took some concentration, but it was rather shocking that I hadn't even heard his approach, because I turned around to see someone that stood at least head and shoulders taller than me. As I craned my neck to look him in the face, I became unnervingly aware of just how short Mela was, as I didn't really like the idea of someone literally looming over me.
But really, it was clearly the man in front of me that was unusually tall. Or boy, I corrected my thought. Whilst his height was slightly intimidating, he was more lanky than imposing, and the way he leaned forward seemed to show that he wasn't really used to his own height yet either. Judging by his face, he couldn't have been much older than twenty, surely a student as well, and with uneven beginnings of a scraggly beard on his chin he had an altogether awkward look about him.
"Ah, yes. I'd like to find some volumes on the academy's history. Thank you."
I tried to recover hastily, feeling awkward about gawking at his height for a moment, and answered him as politely as as I could manage. He stood a little further back than seemed entirely necessary, probably aware of what an impact his appearance could make and I could see that he felt at least as uneasy as I in the situation.
It was quite clear that he hadn't recognized Mela. He'd approached me with a polite and gentle manner, probably taking me for a new student, maybe because of the way I'd been looking around confused, or else due to Mela's youthful appearance. Either way, that assessment wasn't entirely wrong, and he'd offered exactly the sort of assistance that I'd been in need of.
"Those would be in one of the rooms near the back. I can show you, if you'd like."
He gestured for me to follow after I'd nodded to his offer. I didn't know if he worked at the library, or if he'd just thought to help out a fellow student, but he seemed to know his way around well. As we walked across the whole ground floor, I saw less than a dozen other individuals, so either the sections we walked past weren't very popular, or people at the academy just didn't spend much time at the library on their free days.
"This wall has volumes on the general history of the academy and the surrounding area. If you need something more specific, or if there's another subject you are interested in, I'll be over in the reading area."
After I nodded in understanding, he headed towards the closest reading area just like he'd said, picking a book for a shelf that he passed by seemingly almost at random. As he sat down he was nearby enough for if I wanted to ask something, but not so close as to be a bother. It seemed like he really did work at the library, but it surely wasn't a busy day, since he had so much time to spend a single person visiting. Though most visitors, being students or instructors of the academy, probably didn't really need guidance to find their way around the place.
The Grand Library was undoubtedly the most thrilling discovery that I had yet made about this new age. More so than wondrous new inventions, or curious new cultural practices, the sheer dedication to the maintenance of knowledge in written form filled me with anticipatory excitement. I'd always been the type to explore the world through written works more so than by traveling, so it seemed that my horizons had certainly grown greatly.
It didn't long for me to wander past the section that I had been pointed to, taking in the vast knowledge filling each and every shelf surrounding me. I'd pick out several volumes each time I headed out further, as I found countless new subjects of interest, until the matter that I'd originally come to research was almost forgotten. Then I sat down in the reading area, spending the next hour or two in companionable silence with the lanky youth that had led me there, who seemed entirely content spending the rest of the day in his seat, poring through thick tomes.
Eventually I found out that there was even an entire section filled with books purely for entertainment, not myths or fairytales with their own lessons, but fictional stories created solely for the readers' enjoyment. I instinctively scoffed at the idea of such books finding their way into the library of the leading institution on magical research on the continent, but I also had to admit that the library wasn't lacking in space.
In the end I spent the following hour engrossed in one of those stories. It was a tale of romantic longing such that brought to mind the old tales of courtly love that I would have expected to find written down in the personal libraries of noble ladies. In theme however it was rather different, more relatable to common folk perhaps, which might have meant that such fictional works were more widely read in these new times.
I however concluded that that particular work was definitely not suited for an educational institution, when the subject matter became altogether too lewd. Feeling my cheeks blazing with embarrassment, I swiftly returned the book where I'd found it, happy that my silent reading companion didn't seem to be paying me much mind when I didn't have any questions. Bewildered by an inclination I didn't recognize to be me mine, I firmly shut down the fleeting thought of borrowing it to read the rest in my room, and returned to reading books more relevant to my pursuits.
"It's getting late now. The library will remain open at night, but I don't recommend reading too long with just the gas lamps for light. Do you want to check out something now?"
It was already evening, and indeed very little natural light made its way into the building, by the time that the boy came over to check on me politely, with a rather sweet show of concern. He gestured towards the piles of books I had laid out on the table before me, with his question. I nodded, but then awkwardly realized that I had to put the rest of the books back first, which he also helped with.
Taking with me the volumes, that I thought might help me decipher the section of the research that I'd picked out from Mela's notes, I followed him back to the entrance. He brought me to a desk where he quickly started to check the names of the books that I was borrowing and bent down to write down a note. He then asked for my identification plate, but unfortunately he only wanted to see it, presumably to confirm that I was a student and had the right to use the library, rather than showing me some new and interesting magic using it. When he asked for which name to record, I hesitated for a moment. It was the first time that I was actually introducing myself by that name.
"Mela Tannel."
His eyes shot up, which, due to the height difference, ended up with him looking me straight in the eyes on the same level, despite how he was still leaning down over the desk. After a moment of staring, he looked back down to write the name, but it looked more like he was awkward about the accidental staring contest, than that he was avoiding my gaze out of fear. Maybe he'd just been surprised, since Mela shouldn't have needed his help to get around. Or more likely, I just didn't fit whatever image he'd got from the rumors. He handed me back the books once he was done writing.
"Thank you. For the help earlier today also. May I know your name as well?"
"I'm Rohn. I'll usually be around in the library later in the day, if you need to look for something else. And please, return the books two weeks from now, though you can borrow them again if no one has set up reservation."
I was encouraged by the fact that he didn't see too put off by hearing my name, I took the chance to finish our introductions. To his credit, whatever awkwardness he'd showed through the day didn't stop him from continuing to be polite, and he seemed to handle his job as a librarian with considerable practice. I hoped that his offer to help me in the future as well was a genuine one, because Rohn was the first person that I'd met, and who also stayed at the academy, that I'd managed to have nice initial interactions with.
Back in my room, after eating a small evening meal and taking a bath, as had already become my habit, I decided to skim through the rest notes that I'd brought over from Mela's stash, intending to sleep on it. Instead, when I read one part, which an interjection by Mela justifiably marked out as important, I was suddenly wide awake again. In the middle of a description of Mary's early difficulties stabilizing the Fae rift was an assertion that I found shocking, suggesting that my final spell had had another function, beyond making Mary able to take my place as the conduit for the rift.
The text posited that my spell had, with the transfer of mana that was involved, somehow also transferred my soul into a nearby object. There were several layers of absurd in that idea, not the least of which was that I definitely had never intended any such purpose for the spell. The notion of a soul, much less transferring one, struck me as profoundly superstitious and not fitting of a proper researcher. Except, Mela's note adjacent note suggested that she had based her spell, that put my consciousness into her body, on this notion.
The object, incidentally, was a mirror. The sound of shattering glass echoed in my mind, and I sprung up from my bed to rush where the trash in my room was put. Luckily, I hadn't yet had the time to figure out where to empty it, and so I carelessly emptied everything onto the floor, including the pieces of a broken mirror at the bottom. In my haste I predictably cut my finger, as I collected the shards from among the refuse, but luckily I wasn't wearing much of anything that could have been stained, so I'd just have to give the floor more attention. I barely took the time to sloppily wrap up the small cut, before I returned to where I'd put the pieces of the mirror's glass, as well as its wooden backing that had cracked in two.
I really thought I might have broken something incredibly important without even noticing. I'd just taken it at face value at that time, just a mirror that happened to be conveniently at hand to get a look at my new appearance. But it was clearly the object from which Mela had talked about drawing my soul to insert into her own body, so there had to be something that I'd missed. I quickly inspected the all the pieces for any trace of mana, only to find that there wasn't even enough for a hint remaining.
Not that I'd expected to find it to be some sort of a magic item that held mana of its own – such things didn't exist, common knowledge dictated, as a living creature was required as a conduit for magic. Frustrated, I glanced over at a certain green scarf nearby, which seemed to contradict that notion. But I'd arrived at the conclusion that it likely held some form of life that simply didn't match my usual expectations. And comparison to another object that I couldn't understand, one that seemed entirely the opposite in that it clearly did draw mana, wasn't about to help my solve the questions I was struggling with, so I turned back to take another look at the broken mirror.
My examination of the materials didn't prove fruitful either however. I couldn't really judge the glass, beyond the fact that it didn't seem to give off quite as clear a reflection as the one in the bathroom. There were certain materials that, whilst not containing life, did actually appear to have some, still ill-understood in my time at least, interactions with mana, such as were used when constructing mana sensors. But as far as I could tell, neither the wood nor the glass were that sort of materials.
The backing seemed rather old in make, and the style certainly matched my era, so it certainly could have been an item that I'd had lying around at the time of my death. I definitely had no recollection of the item however, and there was simply nothing about the material or the make that would have made it in any way significant to me. Beyond the fact that it was a mirror of course, and thus could certainly have had a lot of uses in magic because of its particular qualities, which was likely the reason I'd have had one around at the time, but that didn't mean that it should have had the ability to hold a soul.
As much as I wanted to vocalize my frustration with a loud string of curses, I instead forced myself to calm down and go back to read the rest. I could clean up the mess I'd made later. Reading the rest of what Mela had written down, I was greeted with another continuing frustration of mine. It seemed that she ascribed this occurrence to some unspecified special quality of my magic, presumably the same thing that allowed me use of spells that didn't work for anyone else.
But even supposing some unusual ability, I couldn't believe that I had somehow accidentally imbued a simple mirror with such a fantastical function. I was forced to rethink things rationally, disregarding the mirror as the cause, and try to figure out what else could have possibly caused something so strange and unpredictable instead. Maybe there was something to the idea presented in the text, that a transfer of mana had somehow brought something additional with it, and transferred it to an apparently random target.
If I were to accept the concept of a soul, then all of this seemed to indicate that it was something closely linked to ones ability with magic. In fact, thinking about the matter more calmly, I thought that perhaps it had something to do with how my flow of mana, though somewhat distinct, had a lot in common with how it'd been in my previous life, despite the fact that I was in an entirely different body. It seemed to also suggest that something more than just Tannel's memories had been transferred into Mela's body, though I wasn't quite ready yet to call that something a soul.
Reading further, I received more support for the budding hypothesis. It had been my flow of mana, familiar to Mary, that had allowed her to identify at the time that the mirror held some part of me, which had led her to store it with care. But it seemed that true significance of this was something that had ever only occurred to the true genius that was Mela, and she was the only one to have actually thought of using it to bring me back.
And yet still, no part of it made sense by the rules of magic that I knew. A layman might have argued that doing the impossible was exactly what magic was for, and that it was by definition used to break the rules set by reality. But that would be a misconception born of fairytales – disregarding for the moment how those seemed to be increasingly proving to hold a core of truth – and for a true mage magic was always something that operated by strict rules and was controlled with thorough understanding.
The only conclusion that I could draw was that the only source of mana that could have maintained any spell, that had possibly retained whatever part of me that had been held in that mirror, would have been myself. Yet I didn't recognize any sort of magic that could be used by the dead, even if some part of them lingered in theory.
And before even figuring out how someone without consciousness could have maintained a spell, there was the question of how it had been crafted. There had been no spell array that I'd made for such a purpose, much less one that could have remained for all the time that it would have been needed, so where was the source for the structure of this supposed magic? Worryingly, I was beginning to think that Mela was right. Maybe the only explanation was a form of magic that just didn't follow the rules that I knew.
