"Applying that level of detail to the inscription is probably not the best choice. I know that precision is key with inscriptions, but in a composite array the other components can also help shape the spell, so you don't have to be as meticulous. If you add too many specifics to one part it will be harder to achieve a coherent whole, so it's best to use generalized structures, that translate more easily, as much as a possible."
Looking at the sketch Iole had prepared and explained to us, I took the liberty to mark out the points that I thought were too hard to work with. I was careful to not to mess with the actual sketch, knowing how touchy mages who worked with inscriptions could be, but Iole seemed to take the criticism well. She just nodded and started inspecting again the parts that I'd marked out.
Our group from the course on composite arrays had gathered a few hours after Rapfrad's latest lecture, after everyone's classes were done. After we'd picked out a few different ideas for what sort of spell array we wanted to make, we had started to figure out the details of how each one of them could work, before we decided on what type of spell array we ultimately would design.
There were usually multiple ways in which one could achieve the same practical effect with magic. There were even cases where different arrays could be used to create the same spell in essence, if they both had structures suited to create the same flow of mana, that was required to create the spell. Of course, the more complex the spell and its effects were, the harder it was to replicate in different formats, but even then there were usually choices to be made within different parts of the array.
The best approach often depended on circumstances, and the ability to discern it was one of the key practical skills for a mage. In terms of more advanced spells, I was of course the one that had by far the most experience. That meant that, while the others made suggestions for what part of the spell they could design, I in turn made counterpoints, offering alternatives where their ideas were unworkable, and refining the proposals that were useful.
Unfortunately, there was a certain person in our group, who didn't seem interested in hearing out my opinions. Maeve was clearly not satisfied with anything that I said, and she was doubly frustrated by the fact that Rokus seemed entirely content following my lead. But what was I to do? Should I just have accepted whatever ideas were good enough, just so that I didn't step on anyone's toes?
I didn't think that any of them were particularly unskilled, quite the opposite. Maeve surely was not lacking in knowledge, as part of a mage family that thought to challenge the Tannels, Iole had produced the most proposals even as she kept mostly quiet in the conversation, and Rokus deserved to be acknowledged for his diligent and hardworking approach if nothing else.
Yet I also wasn't the type to slack off, and with my experience I was able to cover a lot of the blind spots that the rest of them had, as a result of the high degree of specialization that was usual for students of their level. Thus I simply ignored Maeve's glowering until she finally came out with a complaint that was at least worth answering.
"If you've got so many ideas, why don't you save us the time and say them first?"
"I need to see what the rest of you will do. I have to get a general idea of what form the array will take, before I can decide what is the best approach on my part."
It was certainly true that I had been letting the others take the initiative in making suggestions, but I still planned to continue mercilessly shooting down the ideas that the others proposed, until they arrived at a concrete plan. Not because I was being obstinate, but because I was going to take a different role in the project than the others. Fortunately I didn't need to spell it out for Maeve to understand.
"So you want to design the core structure and the connecting parts of the array?"
"Yes. My magic is best suited for the task, because it's most versatile and easiest to connect to each of the components that you are designing. It's also the most complicated part, so I should be the one to cast the spell, if we end up doing a practical demonstration."
I was quite satisfied with my explanation. Not only was it entirely logically sound, and I even avoided directly saying that it was because I was the most skilled in the group. Unfortunately Maeve didn't seem to appreciate such nuances, instead glancing at Rokus. Had she hoped that he'd take the spotlight? Throughout the whole project she'd been angling to give the boy any chance to stand out, and happily agreeing to anything that he suggested. When she next attempted to ridicule me, I could only think that she sounded petulent.
"Well, shouldn't you just plan the whole thing then, since you clearly know everything that we need to do?"
"That would defeat the point, don't you think? This is a group project, and we'll all be evaluated based on it. That's why we need to figure out what everyone does best."
And that meant that I was going to ensure that everyone who was going to be credited would do their part. I was doing my best to not get confrontational, but I couldn't help it sounding like I was explaining things to a child. Even if the others didn't realize it, I was their senior as a student by several years, and I fully intended for them to learn as much as possible from the project. Not because I was hoping for or expected gratitude, but because believed in the purpose of the academy.
"Brother sure was right about you being arrogant."
I was about to ask who, by the divines, Maeve's brother happened to be, but then I could see the resemblance between her and a certain prefect that had bothered me just the previous day. It certainly explained things, and I chuckled to myself before responding.
"And you are exactly as rude as him."
I immediately regretted it. Not because of her angry look, which was actually rather satisfying to see, but because I felt childish for responding to her provocation. I'd resolved to overlook her petulant behavior already, but I just wasn't able to hold back after her constant snide comments. I had thought that I was good at ignoring others, but for some reason her uppity attitude had really got to me after all.
"So when did we end up deciding that you'd take the lead? Since it's a group effort and all! Or did you just decide it yourself, since you are obviously so much better than the rest of us?"
Predictably, responding in kind only made Maeve more confrontational. I hesitated on whether to try to somehow get us back to the topic of the project, or to just really give the brat a piece of my mind, since she obviously didn't care in the least about what we had gathered to do, but Rokus interrupted first.
"That would be true, in any case, if we are talking about knowledge of magic. I think she's demonstrated that she has a good grasp of the task at hand, so why don't we just go along with it?"
Rokus, like Iole, had understandably remained quiet until that point, but he finally spoke up, with a peaceable tone. It looked like he genuinely thought that he was going to de-escalate the situation like that, but I barely stopped myself from groaning out loud at his intervention. For how considerate he seemingly acted, Rokus seemed totally oblivious to, or else was intentionally ignoring, the reason why Maeve had wanted to join our group in the first place.
Either way, his cluelessness was just as annoying as the source of the problem herself. In the first place, what made him decide that he needed to be the one to mediate, when he was obviously half the reason for the argument? Maeve did actually quiet down, perhaps unsure what to say, but a single look at her was enough to tell that she was only more pissed off, to see the guy that was she was chasing after defending another girl, that she clearly despised and was arguing with.
Really, what was it? Did he think that I couldn't handle some bint being a bit rude just because I looked small and harmless? Was that what I had to look forward to as a girl, some pointlessly well-intentioned guy thinking it's his duty to defend me? The thought was somehow all the more frustrating than how I'd been ignored by everyone when I actually had needed help, when I had last studied at Altrel.
Fuming to myself, and not wanting to look at either Rokus or Maeve in the awkward silence, my eyes ended up chancing on Iole. I could see that she had continued sketching out new ideas on paper all the while the rest of us had been talking. When she noticed me looking her way, she looked up and smiled in a way that said that she didn't care less about our little spat. Once again I realized how childishly I was acting, moping around like that, but thankfully Iole then decided to take the initiative to deal with the awkward situation.
"Let's call it for the day. We can plan the next meeting after the next lecture."
Iole was the first to leave, promptly packing up and heading off without saying anything more, whilst the rest of us mumbled our awkward agreements. As I was about to leave as well, I paused upon once again feeling the queer sensation of someone, or something, else passing on a thought to my mind. I'd decided to start keeping the scarf with me, rather than letting it sit in my room, though I was keeping it hidden under the rest of my outfit.
The spirit seemed to be asking, rather tentatively, about why we were going through so much trouble to perform magic. Because we couldn't do it a simpler way, was the obvious answer. I didn't bother to explain that what we were working with was a particularly complex subject in the study of magic, since I could also vaguely understand the implication that it was comparing to how magic was done in the Faerie, which it found much more intuitive.
But I realized that I'd done the equivalent of barking out my answer in irritation, as the spirit responded, with an upset impression, that it was unpleasant to speak to me when my emotions were in such a turmoil. Once again surprised by my oddly sour mood, I tried to calm myself and apologized. I then did my best to explain properly that spell arrays were the only way that humans could do magic, and that we were perhaps more restricted than fae or the other creatures of the Faerie in that regard.
I actually had a hypothesis, that I'd been working on in the back of my mind, that part of what made the Faerie so different was that the shaping of mana was easier. Because the laws of reality were not as rigid, spells could be shaped more freely, so I thought. Or perhaps it was the higher concentration, and different attributes, of the mana, that made that world's natural structures less firm? Either way, my intuition told me that there was a connection, and that this probably partly explained the natural ease with which even the basic lifeforms from Faerie seemed to manipulate mana.
I didn't go as far as explaining all that to the spirit, just leaving it at the fact that us humans needed more complex means to utilize mana. In response I got the impression that the spirit wasn't really convinced, but neither did it seem eager to continue the conversation, probably because of my earlier outburst. I assumed that it just didn't really understand how different my world was to the Faerie. I thought of maybe explaining it by pointing out the different qualities of the mana in either world, which it should have been able to understand, but I just let the matter rest when Rokus talked to me, shaking me from the focused state that I fell into when talking with the spirit.
"Umm, Mela? I hope you can forgive us if we appear unappreciative, when you are giving this so much effort. Receiving personal guidance from such a talented and knowledgeable mage as yourself is a rare opportunity, so I hope you'll continue to help us learn through this project."
I couldn't decide whether to blush from embarrassment or to stare in astonishment. He seemed genuine, but where did he get such a weirdly idolized view of me? I would have assumed that he just naively bought into some narrative about the Tannels as the stalwart guardians of the Fae rift, and simply ascribed the most positive possible motivation to me that he could think of, but weirdly enough he appeared to have picked out my actual intentions.
I had no idea how he could be so strangely acute at times, but I couldn't help but be cheered up by what he said. Not that I also wasn't embarrassed to be receiving such overt praise, but somehow being recognized for my actual efforts made was really satisfying, and it made me feel competent. Really, the only issue was the he was clearly apologizing on Maeve's behalf, since he and Iole had not shown any sign of being unappreciative, as he put it. But at that moment I was satisfied enough, that I could even overlook the glare from Maeve, when she saw Rokus staying behind to talk to me.
By the time that I was back in my room, I had a fairly good idea about why I'd been feeling so irritated the whole day. Specifically, I could guess at the reason around the time that I started to notice the ache in my lower body. I wondered if I shouldn't tell Celine to hurry to come over sooner than I'd intended, but after I'd found myself in bed I no longer felt like getting up for the walk.
At such an uncanny timing, there was a knock on my door. I got up, pausing for a moment due to a feeling of dizziness, before I made my way over. Astounded as I was, I knew only one person that would be visiting me in my room, and that prediction turned out to be exactly right, as I opened the door. On the other side was Celine, who gave my slightly hunched form an appraising look, before her mouth spread to a cheery smile.
"Yup. I know that look. Don't worry, you'll probably survive, if you follow my instructions. But first, it's time for a bath!"
The bath actually turned out to be exactly what I needed in that moment. After a while soaking in the warm water I didn't feel any ache remaining. And, though I wouldn't have admitted it to her, being able to lean against Celine also helped me relax. She seemed to be doing alright as well, though she did hug me rather tightly the whole time, so we stayed there in comfortable silence for a while.
Sitting there, I finally figured out that it wasn't surprising for Celine to be aware of Mela's cycle, and that it was probably the reason why she was there. I would have appreciated if she'd given me a warning beforehand, but it might not have occurred to her. Nonetheless, I decided to take a chance to address the subject that had been bothering me, before I had to go through another lesson that I would doubtless find embarrassing.
"Hey Celine, when can I meet Mary?"
In the high tone of my voice, that I was still not quite used to, it somehow came out like I was pestering her, when I was relaxed like that. Actually though, in my unusually moody state, I'd been brooding about the fact Mary was the only person, that I had known for longer than a couple of weeks, that was still alive. I had never been a very outgoing person, but once I started settling down from the novelty of this new life, I couldn't help but be alarmed by the thought. People that I had talked with just months ago, in my subjective experience, were all suddenly gone. I had a thought that I'd be feeling a lot worse if I didn't know that I could at least still meet Mary, but that only made me hope it could happen sooner.
"I think it's best if you don't meet anyone else from the family yet. Especially the people who usually stay with grandmother. And I don't think that they'd let me in to meet her, if I tried to go."
Celine took a while to answers, and sounded understandably awkward as she explained, and I frowned in frustration as well. Some of that feeling of indignation definitely came from Mela, but as Tannel I was equally disappointed, as I once again heard about how Celine was being treated. I was still out of the loop, but what I was hearing about the family that had claimed my name, aside this pair of sisters, definitely left a bad taste in my mouth. I still wasn't sure what to think about Mary allowing it to happen, even if Celine clearly respected her grandmother, and it was other people that were ostracizing her.
"If you can be patient for a few more weeks, we'll be having one of those family gatherings that I mentioned. You'll definitely have a chance to talk with grandmother alone then, without attracting attention. And I'll help out, however I can."
I wasn't entirely happy with the idea that we had to avoid attention, but I felt like I wasn't really able to object when Celine was speaking so apologetically. Especially since I could tell that she herself wasn't exactly looking forward to the occasion. The whole subject seemed very awkward for her. But what really made me feel awkward was what she said next.
"It might be a little weird for you though. It's the day on which we commemorate Tann– your death and sacrifice. Oh, but it's most just another date for the family to gather, these days! Grandmother just wants to commemorate the occasion."
Yeah, it was certainly weird. I didn't need any more reminders of the fact that I was supposed to be dead. I hadn't considered it, but it did seem to be about the time of the year when I'd passed away. And even if it was oddly nice to know that Mary still insisted on remembering me, it again gave me that weird impression that I was being idolized. Somehow Celine had taken the idea of who I was in the stride, but I was getting concerned about how the rest of this family would take it if my identity was revealed.
"Alright. But can you tell me why it is that I can't meet the rest of your, or rather our, family?"
"Not really. I can't. But both grandmother and Mela have been suspicious lately. That they aren't, um, committed to the same goal? I don't know who eactly we should be suspicious of, but I hope you won't blame me if I just say that I don't trust any of them either."
The goal she talked about surely was that of dealing with the nearby rift, or rather all the rifts that they'd discovered, but her answer only left me with more questions. I wanted to ask why anyone would be against Mary in that purpose, but of course I'd had the same questions regarding others three hundred years earlier. If nothing else, maybe Mary had at least managed to figure out what motivated these people who, in my most charitable interpretation, seemed willing to gamble with the fate of the world. In any case, if Mary and Mela, the two people that I trusted the most, were of the same opinion, then I could only be patient and trust in their judgement.
