When Rhiannon had recovered enough from her vision to remember it, she then couldn’t shake the worry it had left her with as the full moon approached. The Ministry were out scouring the countryside for Peter Pettigrew, but if her vision was right they wouldn’t find him. They were looking in all the wrong places - he’d already rejoined his master. It was a miserable change of pace, going from fearing that Voldemort planned to ruin her life again to knowing it, and Rhiannon’s growing anxiety soon confined her to her bedroom - a familiar constant place where she could control every element and know who came in or out. She couldn’t explain properly to her foster-family, Dudley or even Remus and Sirius, what frightened her so badly when she understood it so little herself. It wasn’t as if she believed in visions, least of all her own, but after last year she just couldn’t lose the gnawing certainty that this one mattered.
The Lovegoods, Dudley, Remus and Sirius were sympathetic. So endlessly patient with her that Rhiannon felt like screaming in frustration, why wouldn’t they just – tell her to be normal, force her out of her room, give her an actual reason to be angry with them? And with herself? But no. They tried to coax her outside for the full moon and managed for all of about five minutes before Rhiannon shot back inside and curled up in her wardrobe with all her coats on top of her. Xenophilius had even patiently mended the clothes she’d put tooth-holes in. She had absolutely no reason to be so short with them, but this wasn’t a rational thing, this was fear, and so it continued to be a pervasive presence through the holidays.
Just as the full moon subsided, Rhiannon, Dudley and Luna received their Hogwarts letters by owl. Rhiannon wasn’t all that sure she wanted to go back to Hogwarts – she wanted to pull all the sheets off her bed and curl up under it growling if anyone dared approach. But Luna nudged her to at least read it, and eventually she compromised and let Luna into her wardrobe-den to read it with her.
To Rhiannon’s surprise, the letter stated that this year she would be in Hufflepuff house. That was something... if any of the Hogwarts common rooms felt cozy and safe, it was that one. But it was also New and therefore Frightening, and wouldn’t smell like her at all – at least the Gryffindor common room kept some traces of familiar scents over the breaks. After feedback last year Minerva had also included a note of the letter-recipient’s dorm-mates so they could prepare themselves accordingly, and Luna wouldn’t let Rhiannon discard the matter outright until she’d at least read who her dorm-mates would be.
Basil Crane – she didn’t like him, he was all too eager with sharp words. Hannah Abbott was nice if not one of Rhiannon’s close friends, and Harry Pace’s name brought a smile to her face – that would be welcome, if she ever felt up to leaving her bedroom. Kiley Jamison – eh, she didn’t really know him. Rhiannon screwed up her face in disgust at Lisa Turpin’s name – she’d held a grudge ever since Luna had named her as one of the people who hid xir belongings. Mairi Callister, another maybe – her younger sister was nice but she didn’t know Mairi very well. Padma Rao – excellent, another friend. Samfeyo Berry had been nice if distant last year, and she didn’t know Sapphire Blackhorn at all. A mixed bunch. And none of them were Hermione.
“I know and like maybe – four of these people,” Rhiannon complained, waving the letter at Luna to accentuate her disgust. “Where’s Dudley this year?”
“He’s in Slytherin with Ginny but, isn’t Harry your friend? And you wouldn’t see Hermione, or me, or Tee or Neville if you didn’t come back to school, we’d all be too busy to visit,” Luna wheedled. “I wonder if Tee decided on a name yet,” xe mused as she flicked through the rest of the letter, skipping past the supplies list and general welcome-back spiel, until he found something worthy of more interest. Vir face lit up with a grin, and ze shoved the small note at Rhiannon for her inspection.
Dear Rhiannon, it read. We discussed some time ago that it would take time for me to formulate the rest of your hormone treatment, and you could stay on the blocker while I worked. I’ve had some time to work on the matter and borrowed some ideas from colleagues of mine in the medical profession, and long story short I believe I have an estrogen potion ready for your use in the new school year. Should you decide to continue with our medical treatment plan, I can simply arrange to have this delivered to your bedside every morning, along with your regular blocker. Yours, Madam Pomfrey.
Slowly, a cautious smile spread over Rhiannon’s face as she read the letter over once more to be certain. On a practical level, if she stayed at home she was sure Madam Pomfrey could probably send her foster-father the recipe, but... their petition had convinced the governors to allow Remus to return to the school, and now the news she could continue the medical avenue of her transition easily if she returned to school... And Luna was right too. Even if she wasn’t in the same house as Hermione, Neville, Lavender or Tee anymore, they couldn’t exactly skip school to come and visit her.
So, begrudgingly, Rhiannon agreed to emerge from her wardrobe-den and start getting ready for the coming school year. The next time Sirius and Remus offered to take her and Dudley for lunch she agreed, and slowly she worked to squash her fears – she wasn’t going to get left behind just because she was scared. She and Dudley even spent an afternoon at Sirius’ family’s old house that he was trying to clear out for himself and Remus to use, with room for herself and Dudley too should they decide to move. That was in itself an education – Rhiannon had never felt so much latent dark magic in one place and had to promptly run and be sick when they entered. No wonder Sirius and Remus were trying to clean it. The endeavour was a surprisingly enjoyable one despite Rhiannon losing eyesight from all the dark magic about fifteen minutes in, she was still perfectly capable of evicting Doxies – small, spiteful insectoid fairies with venomous bites and a penchant for poisoning food – by smell and sound and took a certain vicious satisfaction in banishing unfriendly creatures from what she was already starting to think of as ‘her’ territory simply by virtue of the activity.
Slowly, the month of July wore away and it was Rhiannon’s fourteenth birthday all too quickly. To her surprise there was little fuss made for it – in part due to the full moon cycle that came on top of it, but she’d have expected at least Tee to walk over for a visit. Instead, Xenophilius and Remus prepared a nice meal and the household plus Remus and Sirius ate a picnic dinner outside before the sun set, then Xenophilius and Luna left the four canines to gambol about on the lawn yipping and bounding around gleefully, even Remus growing bolder along with them. Sirius’ Animagus shape was that of an enormous black wolfhound, a form he took to keep up with the three werewolves. He still looked a little thin and worn, but far better than he had only a few months ago, and the smell of sickness was gone. Even Remus had a brightness back in his too-human eyes that gave them all hope.
The lack of celebration for Rhiannon’s birthday was explained when a letter arrived shortly after the end of the full moon cycle.
Hey, Rhi, it read in violet ink – Rhiannon would have been able to tell then and there who had sent the letter even without her smell clinging to it or the name on the envelope.
First thing – I decided on Niniane as a name after all. I tried some others but I like that one. Mum and Dad call me Nina so I suppose that works too. Fred and George are still stuck on Ninny & Ginny and I think I even saw Percy snicker at that, but that’s probably because he thinks I’m a freak for being trans now. Ginny hit him with a chopping board.
Enough about Percy – he moved out, the chopping board got fixed. Mum’s always wanted a daughter and now she has two, she’s mad happy about the whole thing – don’t know why I was so worried. Sorry we didn’t come for your birthday/s, we were kinda busy sorting the second thing. Happy late birthday Rhi and Dudley, I promise I still got you stuff.
Second thing – who wants to go see the Quidditch World Cup final? It’s Ireland vs Bulgaria, and Dad told me to tell you he’s able to get tickets for all of you who want to come (he also says to tell you yes, Mr Black & Professor Lupin, that includes you before you ask). I really hope you can all come, Bill & Charlie even got time off work to come and watch so everyone but Mum and Percy are coming, it’s going to be a blast.
Hope to see you all soon,
Niniane (Ninny, apparently)
Rhiannon was already beaming by the time she finished the letter, wholeheartedly amused at the mental image of Ginny, barely two inches taller than Rhiannon who hadn’t quite hit five feet tall herself, hitting the very severe Percy with a chopping board so hard it broke, if she was interpreting the letter correctly. And the Quidditch World Cup... her brows creased with anxiety. She wanted to go so badly that, had she had four legs, she would have been scampering around the kitchen with a wagging tail. But she was frightened again. Hogwarts was a known, familiar, secure location and even that had taken time to work up to considering. The Quidditch Cup? She had no idea where that would even be held, what if Voldemort came for her there? Dimly she remembered something from the dream about that, but she’d been in so much pain after that her memories of it were fragmented and unreliable.
“Rhi, you alright?” Dudley asked her, leaning forward with his elbows propped on his knees. Rhiannon shook her head and held out the letter to him, then retreated back into the couch with her knees hugged up to her chest. Cheshire, perched on the arm of the couch beside her, miaowed disapprovingly and prodded at her shoulder until she relaxed and tugged the bossy creature into her lap.
“Yes, you are bossy,” Rhiannon murmured into the cat’s ear, tickling his chin as she did so – it relaxed her somewhat. Then she looked up at Dudley, though not quite meeting his gaze, and grimaced. “N-no, not – not exactly. Read it, it’s – Nina, Tee’s Nina n-n-n-now, she’s inviting us all to the Quidditch World Cup and- and I really want to go b-b-b-but I only jus-s-s-t started going outs-s-s-side again and- I don’t want to miss out ‘cos of stupid anxiety,” she stammered, letting out a frustrated whine at how hard it always was to talk. She almost wanted a tablet like they’d made for Neville sometimes.
Luna, ensconced on Rhiannon’s other side, patted her arm gently to get her attention and then managed a small, reassuring smile once she was looking. “Why don’t you write Nina back, say you’ve been having a bad time with anxiety and safety and stuff, and ask if her Dad can tell us what the plans would be for your safety there?” he suggested. “I wouldn’t mind going if you are, it might be fun to take notes – I can be a sort of field reporter for the Quibbler and well, I was thinking of trying out for the house team this year. You know, to make some of my own friends. It might be good to go.”
Dudley bounced in his seat, and Rhiannon managed a wan grin. “Yes, Nina said Ginny’s going,” she teased him. His cheeks flushed scarlet and he hid his face in a pillow, disturbing Rhiannon’s own black-and-ginger cat who’d been napping there. Then she considered Luna’s suggestion and twisted her ring back and forth anxiously. It wasn’t a bad idea – Mr. Weasley worked in the Ministry, he’d be aware of the general concern for her safety.
Sirius got a wistful sort of smile on his face. “You know, James and I were supposed to go to the Quidditch World Cup forever ago, right as we were finishing school, but we never got to go with everything that happened. I think you’d enjoy it, so long as you muffled your ears – you’re used to being up in the air, it’s terribly loud in the stands.” he suggested.
Rhiannon shot upright, remembering a crucial part of the letter she’d neglected to mention. “Oh! N-n-n-n-ni-Nina said you two can come too, if you want!” she exclaimed.
Sirius perked up, for all the world like a puppy whose owner had just mentioned walk, while Remus grumbled quietly and hugged his arms closer to his chest. “Don’t like Quidditch,” he muttered. “’s too bloody loud, too many people,”
Sirius swatted him gently on the arm, then pulled him into a sideways hug. “You said the same thing about Live Aid, and remember how much fun you had?” he teased his partner. “Besides, you don’t have to come, it’s just an offer.”
Remus spluttered indignantly, and Rhiannon giggled – she knew he didn’t like leaving Sirius alone after everything, especially as he was just starting to let his wolf instincts filter back in. “And stay at your house by myself, with only that portrait of your mum for company? No thanks – it’s about as friendly as a hydra cave in there,” Remus retorted. “I’ll just, learn sign language really quickly since I’ll apparently not have the use of my ears for several days.”
“I’ll – I’ll owl Nina back and ask, it’s – it’s probably possible to leave partway through if it gets too much, go back to wherever we’re sleeping,” Rhiannon suggested. She did want to go, and she hoped fervently Mr. Weasley would be able to reassure her enough to do so.
As it turned out, Mr. Weasley had already considered the matter of security and was happy to write back to Rhiannon in extensive detail about the wards placed on their campsite and tent, along with everything else. He seemed most pleased that Remus and Sirius were interested in coming along, and wrote that if she replied with a firm decision to go with them, he’d come by and pick them all up on the 15th of August.
That was in... Rhiannon did the maths in her head and nearly fell off the couch as she realised how close that was. “That’s – a week and a half away!” she exclaimed, waving the letter at Xenophilius as he poked his head out of the kitchen to see what the matter was. “He – it’s – I wanna go, it’s on the fifteenth!”
Xenophilius grinned and puttered over to the table, quickly scrawling a note that Rhiannon guessed was for Remus and Sirius. “Well, I’ll tell your godfather and his partner, they can look after you for the tournament. I’m going to stay here, look after the cats and the house, I’ll go fetch your Hogwarts supplies if you leave your lists where I can find them, change the colours on your uniforms – that sort of thing. Now, go on, go start packing! The last thing I need is you three in a flap on the last day because you can’t find your socks.” he told her, shooing her out of the living room.
Rhiannon cackled and nudged Calypso off her lap, then took off upstairs, ignoring the pain that always rose up from daring to move faster than a hobble, yelling as she went. “Dudley! Luna! We’re going!” she hollered, knocking against the walls with her cane by mistake in her enthusiasm. “We gotta pack our STUFF!”
