Instead of trashy romance novels Jane kept up on the addictive realm of reality television, junk food for the brain she called it. She marveled on how people were meeting over the internet, sometimes ditching their lives to start up in another country. One of her favorite subjects was "catfishing" particularly when they are exposed in the plain light of day and how nine times out of ten, when measured by the wooden ruler of reality, Prince So and So from Far Away Land is nothing but a 2 bit hustler helping themselves to a lovesick, lonely person's money. 

Whatever happened to meeting someone in person, by chance and not by purpose? Jane and her husband Onslo met at their workplace.  Their attraction and relationship were organic. They were in a training class together. He didn't stand out to anyone but her. His intelligence, soft spoken voice and the fact he was raising a child on his own after his wife split caught her attention. They gravitated toward each other, being the two smartest in the room of trainees. Lunches turned to rides home. Notes were passed when they were separated into different units after the training was over. Then one day, in a meeting, their knees brushed against each other during a boring film and fire erupted between them. With the kids grown, Jane and Ons settled into the routine of work, eat, chores, sleep and repeat. Onslo was a good husband, a man who devoted himself to her happiness and didn't roam. She prayed her children would find spouses like Onslo but she knew he was a rare breed. Feed him well, fuck him very well, clean up after him and respect his space. Jane attributed his contentment to that simple formula. After the mental breakdown, she braced herself for an inevitable change or man's menopause which hadn't reared its awkward head yet. She loved him. No doubt about it, but he definitely had changed. 

With her love of reality TV she held her new admirer at arms length. She could imagine "Randy" in a Nigerian internet cafe copying and pasting conversations from another's profile. Sending a phone number was a bold move. She immediately googled it and found it was from Rochester, NY. Close enough to NJ , feasible. Randy was online suddenly. Jane started typing. "The reason I asked if you are American is your accent"

"Well I am half Spanish, my mum"

Jane looked at the ceiling. No, that accent wasn't Spanish. The sun was just coming up, 6am her time. Her morning routine of shower, getting dressed, feeding pets, packing lunch was getting delayed but she wasn't annoyed. Curiously she asked him what time it was. 

"I just got off work, its about 4PM"

What the hell? New Jersey is just 3 hours ahead. Randy kept typing.

"I am abroad on business but returning to the States in 3 days when my project is complete. Don't worry my love, I am safe. " He then sent a pic of what appeared to be a giant shrimp dish garnished in lemon slices. "Join me"

Jane shot back a pic of herself with one of her new baby chicks. Very close up pic of half of her face and a silkie on her shoulder. Simple Jane led a simple life. Her new pets brought her a joy that helped distract her from her from the dark cloud looming over her house. 

"You have roosters? You wanna roast?"

Jane, unimpressed with his response to her pic felt her fingers tapping her phone a little harder than usual. "The chickens? No. Eggs are why I decided to try it out...eggs for consumption and sale. These biddies are my pets first, food source second. I truly love them." Any income would help she thought, to make up for the cost of starting this little hobby up. 

Randy went from green to gray and back to online green in a matter of seconds. "I love eggs. I love cat fish too. I plan on breeding them when I am retired."

Jane's hands went cold. He actually typed the words cat fish. He kept on typing. 

"I will retire this year, before August and as soon as I am done I will buy plots of land and own a ranch near San Diego"

Wow, Randy must have studied her Instagram to push that button. Jane had close to a dozen pics from San Diego. She traveled there for business at least twice a year and enjoyed Ocean Beach and Old Town especially. She pushed the issue. 

"San Diego is my favorite place to travel for work. Wow."

"Then if you love SD for travel and work then where do you vacation?"

Embarrassed to admit the truth to a self professed world traveler but what the hell. "I've traveled limited places but eventually want to see the UK."

Jane had friends who, even in high school, traveled from California to Europe. She just didn't come from that kind of disposable income. Plus with having her kid early and taking care of her, Europe just wasn't in her deck of cards. Now, in her forties, she realized time was ticking and started a modest coin jar hidden away in her nightstand for either a trip to the UK or maybe running away there to live thanks to the current jack ass in the White House. She could easily claim asylum. The whole world was aware of the quick decline of the USA under this POTUS. Randy started typing.

"Oh. Don't worry we will fly around the world after my trip. What do you do for fun? Me, I like to go out to dinner, go to the movies, work out, travel and see new things. I enjoy the ocean, cuddling at home in front of the TV with someone special time at the beach. You?"

Jane responded, pushing the cat fish comment to the side. "I like to swim, BBQ with my friends and family, movies, the beach and I take an occasional cruise."

"That is my favourite sport, swimming and I love doing BBQs."

Boy, Jane could keep a spreadsheet of spelling and grammatical oddities that were starting to pile up. Americans didn't use U in favorite. 

Randy went gray and remained offline for the remainder of the morning.