Pistachio

Hi, everyone! Chapter 9 was accidentally published Thursday (July 25) due to me experimenting with the poll feature which you will see after the chapter so, if you're the lucky few who've seen it then good for you and I hope you're not the one who've rated this 1 star just because I've removed the chapter immediately but if it is because this story sucks then explaining why would be nice. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and if you don't, do comment and if you do, please still comment, I appreciate it regardless. Pistachio, out!

What is the significance of number two? In quality, it is better but not best; worse but never worst. In choosing, it is an alternative, never the priority. Two is never as eye-catching as number one. In competitions, everyone wants to be a champion, not a runner-up, a gold medal than a silver.

No one likes to be number two.

So, why two? Why, because of the reasons above.

She'd rather be better than best, worse than worst, an alternative than the priority, the runner-up and not the champion, the one with the silver rather than the gold.

She doesn't want to be number one any longer. The burden of being at the top is too much to bear, the responsibility, the sacrifices, yes, they are too much for her.

All she wants is to run away, away from her suffocating reality, away from the prison of her youth. But no matter how fast she runs the shackles always remain, they only lengthen but never truly broken.

Escape, freedom. They seem too foreign back then but now, now, what the heck is this?!

“I've read about transmigrations, rebirths, reincarnations and such and daydreamed of being in one but this, this! I've never fantasized about this body!” She screeches soon after waking up. Her hands pat her chest, desperate for her girls but it is all rock hard plains. Not to mention that birdie down there.

Two shudders and her head spins once again.

She flops back on the bed in defeat.

“Pfft.”

Two's head swiftly turns to the sound, her eyes narrow at the shaking shoulder of the woman whose head is turned away from her. Two's eyes become slits and she glares in envy.

Boobs. Her 'savior' has boobs. Suddenly, Two's hands twitch on her sides.

“Hey.” She pulls herself to a seating position and adds, “let me grope your boobs.”

Her savior's back stiffens. “Excuse me?”

“Uwaa! Just, just let me remember the feel of boobs you woman!” Two's fingers curve and wiggle. Her twins may be small but they're still lovable! She never fails to give them a massage every morning, hoping they'll grow into enviable melons. Alas! it was hopeless but at least she can dream unlike this current anatomy of hers!

Two's eyes redden and she glares at her savior. “Turn me back, return me!”

“How many times must I tell you? I found you in that form already so no can do.”

Xi Shuang sighs. Two glares at her comforter and her manly hands. Despite hearing the tale over and over again, Two can't put herself to believe the situation. This kind of thing, it was fun reading about it but actually living it?

Two remembers napping for a moment inside her company's van and the next she woke up in this strange environment. What kind of transition is that?! Her gaze flickers to the woman sipping tea on the open window of their room. Two hides the suspicions in her heart, recalling the facts and separating it from her impressions.

Dallying in the entertainment industry had forged in her the habit of second-guessing. The famous words, “don't judge the book by its cover”, has been her motto in her dealings with her colleagues and she won't be dumb enough to discard it now.

Xi Shuang may have saved her but not all samaritans are good and depending on her luck, or lack thereof, this Xi Shuang can be good or evil.

Xi Shuang saved her, rather, him. Two's lips curl in disdain. That is a fact. She was taken from a forest and was treated in this inn. Fact. What remains is the motive. There's no such thing as free lunch in this world, present or future, only endless interests. What will Xi Shuang gain in helping this body?

“If only I had his memory.” She rubs her head. “Pathetic. I can't even remember his name.”

Still, even though Two is wary of her savior she doesn't sense much malice in her. Indifference is the closest emotion she can describe from Xi Shuang and also excitement.

“Who would have thought that you're a transmigrator too,” Two exclaims. Xi Shuang grins and nods her head quickly. The glint of happiness doubles in the woman's plain face.

It can be said that Two let the cat out of the bag by inadvertently bursting out in anger and declaring her name, thus Xi Shuang had explained that she too is a transmigrator soon after Two became conscious.

Trust is hard-earned but being thrown into the unknown can make even enemies into allies, however temporary it is. Since Xi Shuang hasn't shown any harmful moves, Two decides to put her lot, albeit fragile, into the woman's hands. Time will tell if they are compatible for an alliance to form or be water and oil, destined to be against each other in the end.

“Meeting each other when both of us are transmigrators, isn't this a one in a million event?”

Xi Shuang stares at her tea. “I never read a situation like this in the books I fancy.”

“Ditto,” Two crosses her arms and is once again reminded of the flatness of her chest. She sulks momentarily.

“But  I did read about events wherein a transmigrator and a reincarnator met and became enemies.” Xi Shuang flicks a gaze before returning to admire the fading daylights and the gradual bloom of the city streets.

Two remains blank, keeping her surprise off her face. Well, at least the woman isn't afraid to address the elephant in the room. Shall she play footsie or be frank?

“To be honest, I mean no harm. I'm just curious how you came to this world and other than that, if you wish to have no further interaction with me, I will do so.”

“I don't know how,” Two twirls a strand of his hair, a bit satisfied that this man had taken good care of his long hair. “I only remember falling asleep and when I woke up, tada, here I am.”

“You don't remember waking up in the forest?”

Two pauses. “I woke up?”

“Yeah. You even cried out for help.”

“Nope, I don't remember such a thing.”

Xi Shuang bows her head, deep in thought.

“It doesn't really matter, does it?” Two waves a hand. “The crucial part right now is to survive.”

“...Yes, you're right.”

“Don't you want to return?”

Fan Shuangxi desperately wants to ask but she holds her tongue back. Her hands clench and unclench on her lap.

Silence fills the space out of her unspoken question. Fan Shuangxi squirms and stands. “Are you hungry? I'll order some food downstairs.”

Fan Shuangxi closes the door and sprints to the reception area. Getting some food is only half of the reason why she ran out. The other half is to escape from the anxiety brewing within her.

She leans on one of the pillars of the inn and watches the covered coaches of passing citizens.

Since discovering the unexpected appearance of Hao Fang, or Two, as she so insisted, Fan Shuangxi has mixed feelings.

Her legs unconsciously swing from her perch.

At first, she is delighted to meet a kindred spirit. To have a piece of her real world has lightened the fear in her heart but it seems, Two is no ally. More and more, Fan Shuangxi has the suspicions that the two of them don't have the same goals. Unlike Fan Shuangxi, Two acts more in line with protagonists of these transmigration events.

Fan Shuangxi frowns and kicks a small stone.

She truly can't comprehend how they immediately presume they can't return home. It makes her frustrated and sad that they'd let go without exhausting the options of going back.

For now, her dilemma is how she'll handle the situation between her and Two. If only she's a brutal person, she'd immediately abandon Two here but she is taught to at least be responsible of any task given to her, therefore, however reluctant it is for her heart to stay for a while she'll have to toughen up and guide Two to her new world.

How to? She can't possibly reveal her identity and the source of her information. That will be naive of her!

How about Shen Qian? Her inner self whispers.

Right! She completely forgot the druid. The druid is the answer to her question, rather, the excuse she needs on how she knows the things she knows. Two will never have the chance to meet Shen Qian unless the druid appears before her himself, thus, making him the perfect shield for Fan Shuangxi.

Shen Qian! Shen Qian!

She excitedly calls but she receives no response.

Shen Qian?

“I...” Soft, slow, and barely discernable. “Can...t....enter...”

“...come...out...”

“Why can't you enter?” Fan Shuangxi asks even as she jumps to the rooftops and rushes to the nearest exit gate.

Two watches Fan Shuangxi leave with narrowed eyes. She leans on the low railings, her breath short after much struggle from the bed to the terrace area.

“This Xi Shuang is already adapting well. Is she a character to watch out for or guard against?”

Meanwhile, Fan Shuangxi has safely arrived from her last position before she entered Ji City.

“Shen Qian.”

The druid solidifies from the mist. “Just like how spring water cannot flow where there is no canal so too we when there is no path to traverse to.” He immediately explains.

“But I was there.”

“The path is a broken way.” Shen Qian turns his head in the direction of the city. “Many obstacles hinder my way to you.”

“Obstacles?”

“Noise.”

Fan Shuangxi tilts her head. “Huh?”

Shen Qian is silent.

“Cities are always noisy. It is a place where want triumphs over need, where the heart is mute while the head is deaf.”

That's deep, she muses. “So, you can only guide when the one who needs guidance is outside.” She shrugs her shoulders. “Anyway, the person is awake now but,” she hesitates, “there's something wrong.”

Shen Qian waits in peaceful silence.

“He seems to identify as a woman and she can't remember who she is.”

Shen Qian remains unbothered. “One must be grateful for a life spared.” Seemingly uncaring, the druid dissipates.

“Shen Qian?” Her beating heart thuds loudly in her chest.

“Are you leaving me?” Fan Shuangxi cries out.

Alone. Alone again.

The air stills, waiting in bated breath. “Treat,” his voice echoes, “as you see fit.” It is up to Fan Shuangxi how she'll act onwards.

But the question of leaving...Ah, druids reveal themselves when they need to not because of a person wanting to.

Fan Shuangxi covers her face with trembling hands. This isn't the first time Shen Qian left her in a ghostlike manner but this is the first time she had reacted violently to his departure.

Be level-headed, be level-headed. People come and go. You mustn't be attached like this. Aren't you going home? Her inner self reminds.

“Yes. I still have to go home.”

We mustn't forget.

“No. I mustn't forget.” Fan Shuangxi wipes her face.

“Now then, what shall we do with Two?”

No answer comes to her and so, weeks pass by without Fan Shuangxi coming up with a solution.

The relationship between the two is at an impasse. Although Two hasn't reduced to another tantrum with how little Fan Shuangxi shared about her knowledge of the world, his penetrating gaze intimidates Fan Shuangxi.

Over time, it had created a wall between them.

“The Path of Ascension and the three realms. Were all of these the only subjects you know?”

“I've only been around for a little longer than you and by no means am I an expert in how this world works.” Fan Shuangxi sighs. “I never even thought that I might encounter you.” She observes the outside, her shoulders prickling with the weight of Two's stare.

These days, Two is able to walk a limited distance, specifically from her bed to the balcony. It takes a huge effort but Two never gives up.

She's a stubborn one, Fan Shuangxi notes.

Two of Phantastes, huh? She hasn't heard of this idol group overseas and her best friend hadn't fangirled about them either so Fan Shuangxi can only observe the Two she's cohabiting now to form an impression of her character.

Turns out overthinking Hao Fang's privacy is useless, what with the current Hao Fang being a transmigrator and a girl to boot.

Hey, won't that mean she's a cannon fodder? Her inner self inquires.

Fan Shuangxi sweats. Oh, god, no, please no.

In Fan Shuangxi's mind: cannon fodder + cannon fodder = twice the chance of being cannon fodder.

No! She wails. I will have to get her away from me!

“How is your memory? Do you still not remember anything?” Despite the panic in her mind, Fan Shuangxi poses the question without a hitch in her tone.

The first step in separating with this cannon fodder is to return her to her assassins' guild. Hao Fang is the leader, after all.

Two shakes her head. “Nope.”

Argh!

Fan Shuangxi so desperately wants to confess to Two that she knows who her body is just so Fan Shuangxi can absolve all responsibilities and scram but she stops herself. That line of action will only unlock a dam of questions mainly how the fuck does Fan Shuangxi knows?

Unbeknownst to Fan Shuangxi, her inner struggle has been seen through by Two. “What is this person's agenda? Is my memory a vital role in her plans?” 

Two had experimented with her body, unsatisfied she may be, and she found out that a well of power thrums within her. She tried to apply it once on the objects around her but to no avail. It is as if a barrier is blocking her from wielding her own power, and she can only leak a few 'qi' as Xi Shuang described, almost like how a sieve works.

This alarming discovery means that Two will have to depend on Xi Shuang for the foreseeable future. To depend on someone whose motives are still unclear sets her off and the idea of someone, anyone, holding her freedom against her truly makes Two want to snap. Still, enduring is one of her fortes so even if Xi Shuang wants to or not, Two will stick to her like a leech.

“How long are we staying here?” Two is shameless enough to ask.

Fan Shuangxi purses her lips. “Until you're capable enough to walk a long distance.” She really, really wants to run away and give up this cannon fodder--

Ai, we haven't confirmed yet if Hao Fang's a cannon fodder. What if he's a love interest of someone out there? Wouldn't it be nice to hug this golden thigh? Her inner self rears her inner devil's advocate.

Wouldn't that be even worst? Fan Shuangxi retorts. If he's a love interest then we're clearly going to be cannon fodders. Please, do not underestimate the power of a yandere ML!¹ML = male lead

“And where to?”

“Er. To, to,” Fan Shuangxi bites her lip.

Is it okay to tell her where we're going next? Her inner self worries. And, what if Hao Fang's enemies find us along the way? What are we going to do?

Fan Shuangxi's forehead creases when she remembers that Hao Fang's still not safe, worst, the holder of his body doesn't even know she's in danger!

“Don't tell me you don't know where to go next?” Two raises an eyebrow and adds, “why are you even traveling anyway? Do you have a mission to complete?”

“Who were you meeting last time?” Two still hasn't pried from Xi Shuang the details of the latter going off who knows where after Two first woke up. Xi Shuang hasn't disappeared after that random leave but Two did note Xi Shuang putting up a distance between them.

“Shall I try testing her?” Letting people spill the beans require timing and finesse; the proper atmosphere must be in place and of course, one must determine the difficulty of steering the line of conversation. 

“There's no need to know why I'm traveling, is it?” Xi Shuang swiftly turns away. “It's not your business.”

“It's not but if it concerns my life, it is.” Two growls and slams her clenched hands on the mattress. The cloth muffles the sound but her heaving chest and the clear aggression in the air offsets Fan Shuangxi.

Two's aggrieved form causes a twinge in the edge of Fan Shuangxi's heart and an expression of guilt flashes from her face. She shakes her head, no, why is she the one to feel guilty? She hasn't done anything. This person came into her life all on her own and all her shit shouldn't be taken up by Fan Shuangxi.

“I'm only a passerby, okay? If you're going to blame something, blame your memory. Everything will be clear if only you remember who you are.” Fan Shuangxi points out, unconsciously raising her voice. Inside, anger is threatening to burst out.

You're a freaking assassin for goodness' sake! You died because someone conspired to take you down. Look at your injuries, evaluate them. Jeez, I'm not your freaking babysitter. 

Ai, we shouldn't have read Hao Fang's life. See? You're getting worked up, her inner self tries to sooth.

Rawr! Fan Shuangxi bullies her inner self away. That woman should be happy I'm still here to care for her. Hmph!

“Memory this, memory that!” Two grinds her teeth.  “I can't force myself to remember even if I want to, you stupid chit!”

“Don't call me stupid, you blank face dude!” Fan Shuangxi heaves. 

“Don't call me stupid, you blank face dude!” Two imitates and ridicules. 

Fan Shuangxi's eyes become wet. She really hates it when people are this unreasonable. 

Inwardly, Two calmly observes the rapid changes of Xi Shuang's expression. Although she doesn't forget to keep the act, Two concludes that she has reached the limit of Xi Shuang's tolerance. Abrupt it may be, it is time to stop pushing. Two still has a relationship to maintain even if it is only at surface level. Until Two has enough information to survive alone, depending on Xi Shuang's graces will have to do for now.

“Name-calling seems to easily hurt her,” Two summarizes, “but it is clear she knows something about this body.” 

Xi Shuang is only tight-lipped because she can't afford the risk, is that it? No matter, there's still plenty of time to peel the layers of secrets bit by bit. 

Fan Shuangxi's continued silence prompts Two to sigh. “I'm sorry,” Two rubs her neck, “that was too much of me.”

Fan Shuangxi quickly wipes her eyes. “I'm sorry for nagging you about your memory.”

“It's understandable since a lot of questions will be answered once I have this body's memory. But,” Two shrugs her shoulders, “there's no guarantee it will come back so, we'll have to prepare for the possibility that it isn't.”

Fan Shuangxi nods and comes up with a half-assed excused to leave. She doesn't wait for Two's reply instead, she starts to jump from rooftop to rooftop until she reaches the gate of Jin city.

She searches for a hint of Shen Qian's white robes but only the greenery fills her vision.

“Shen Qian, where are you?” Fan Shuangxi sniffs. 

She desperately wants someone to talk to.