22. Lonely
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Content warning: mention of death, abuse, neglect

I yawned and stretched as I drifted awake. My eyes opened and I looked around as I quickly got my bearings.

I was now seated in the recliner across from the sofa. Susan was still in the same place as before, sitting on the end of the sofa. Melissa sat on the other end, but she looked like she was just waking from a nap as well. I realized Lily must have made her sleep too, so she could talk with Sue in private.

Susan was staring down at the empty cooler bottle in her hand, she had a thoughtful look on her face.

"Uh, Sue?" I asked quietly. "It's Mara here again. Are you ok?"

The redhead looked up at me, she seemed a little nervous as she nodded "Yeah. I'm fine thanks."

I sighed, "I'd normally try to be less blunt about this but I'm just going to ask. Did you sign a contract with Lily?"

"No," she shook her head. She blushed slightly and added, "I mean, not yet. You... Lily told me I had to talk it over with you and Melissa. Because it would affect you both, like I'd basically be joining your family."

I took a deep breath then sighed, "Yeah. I'm glad she made that point."

Melissa was fully awake now, she'd been listening in. She asked, "So what are we supposed to do? Like interview you or something?"

Susan shrugged slightly as she replied, "I guess? Uh, you and I only just met, I think she just wanted all three of us to decide if we'd be compatible together?"

My best friend glanced at me then looked back at Susan and asked, "So after everything I told you, like having to sleep around with strangers all the time, not being able to just settle down with someone, having to sleep with Mara, being bound for life to Lily... None of that stuff scared you off? What do you want so badly that you're willing to commit the rest of your life to a demon to get it?"

Sue stared down at the empty bottle in her hand again as she blushed. It didn't exactly look like she was embarrassed though. It looked like she was sad.

After a few moments she replied quietly, "What I wanted was to belong. To be part of a 'family', to be part of something that would last forever."

She glanced at me and added, "I told you I had abandonment issues right? Being bound for life to you and Melissa, even if it was through a demon, sounds nice. Girlfriends come and go. Even marriage doesn't last forever. Friendships end. But what you two have? A supernatural life-long bond. You'll never be alone. Whatever else happens in your lives, you'll always have each other, and Lily."

Susan sighed and looked down at her bottle again, "That's what made me want to talk with her. Other stuff she told me made the deal sound even better. Sort of added icing on the cake with some other things that she'd include in the deal."

Me and Melissa exchanged another glance, then my friend asked "Do you really think you'll never meet someone? Like you feel you'll never find a lasting friendship or someone to settle down with? I mean, signing a life-long deal with a demon seems like a really big permanent answer to what maybe isn't..."

Sue cut her off, "I know what you're saying, ok? Of course I'll meet people. I've met people already. And I always screw things up. Just like I did with Mara? At the first hint of trouble I panic and dump them. I'm so terrified of being abandoned yet again that I wind up pushing everyone else away. I've been alone for six years now. In just the past two years I've broken off a dozen potential relationships before they even got started..."

I finally spoke up and asked, "I hope this isn't really rude of me, but have you tried therapy?"

"Yes," she replied frown. "Two years of hell with an abusive bastard therapist, from when I was sixteen to eighteen. Plenty more emotional scars from that, I don't want to try again."

"I'm sorry Susan," I sighed. "I had no idea."

She shook her head, "I know Mara. And I get what you're saying, Melissa? I know it's a big step and a life-long commitment. But you both did this too right? You both made this choice. So rather than trying to talk me out of it, how about we try and get to know each other better like Lily suggested?"

I looked at Melissa again then back at Susan, "Ok. I guess it's part of getting to know you though right? Like me and Melissa already know each other's motivations. I wanted to stop being dead, I wanted to be able to help my mom and stuff, so I signed a pact and got a new life and a new body and stuff? And Melissa wanted to transition and get her ideal body too? That's why we were curious what it was you wanted so bad that you'd be willing to do this too."

"I get it," Sue nodded. "And I guess it seems strange to you both, that the stuff that you think I should be put off by is the stuff that appeals to me? The life-long commitment, the life-long bond. The whole 'this is forever until you die' thing is exactly what I want. The other stuff is all bonuses and extras."

My best friend blushed slightly as she said "I get that Susan. I... There was stuff in my deal with Lily that I'm sure a lot of people would be freaked out by, but to me it was just more benefits rather than part of the price."

After that we were all quiet again for a bit. I stood up and collected the empty bottles and took them back to the kitchen, then returned with three more bottles of vodka cooler. I handed one to Susan and one to Melissa, then I sat down again in between them both.

"Woah," Melissa said with a bit of a grin. "Situation's getting serious, Mara's actually going to try alcohol again."

I rolled my eyes then said to Sue, "Don't take it the wrong way. I'm not that freaked out, just a bit uptight."

She nodded, "I can relate."

After another couple gulps of the cooler Susan said quietly, "I mentioned I'd been alone for six years? And was in therapy when I was sixteen? It's because... That's when my dad died. My mom died when I was really small, like three years old? I don't even remember her. And my dad wasn't around much. His job meant he had to travel a lot. So I had babysitters when I was little, and spent a lot of time with my dad's evil bitch of a sister. When I got into my teens dad left me on my own a lot, and one of the neighbors would keep an eye on me and make sure I was doing ok. Then when I was sixteen, dad went off on another one of his work trips, only that time he never came back. I spent the next two years being tormented by my evil bitch of an aunt and getting abused weekly by the psychologist who was supposed to be helping me. Then the minute I was eighteen my aunt took off. And as an adult I could finally quit the fucking therapist."

Me and Melissa were both silent as she talked. Sue's tone started out quiet, but quickly got angry. By the end though she was quiet again and her voice was breaking as her eyes welled up with tears.

I moved my arm around her and pulled her into a hug, and Melissa moved to sit on the arm of the sofa on Sue's other side so she could hug her too.

After another ten minutes or so Susan calmed down again. "Thanks... And sorry for getting so emotional on you two. I didn't mean to upset you..."

"It's ok," I replied softly. I still had my arm around her, and gave her a gentle squeeze. "That's what friends are for, right?"

That turned out to be the low point of the evening. After that the mood gradually picked up again as we all started talking more, about other things. We ordered in a pizza and put on a movie, but we wound up ignoring the TV as we all just continued with our conversation.

It actually felt like me and Susan were patching things up between us, and at the same time she and Melissa were becoming friends too.

At one point, with my permission, Melissa showed Susan an old picture on her phone of the two of us from last spring, before we met Lily. Sue's eyes almost bulged out of her head when she saw what dead-me and pre-transition Melissa looked like.

She looked back and forth between me and Melissa then back at the picture and finally just said "Holy shit. I mean... That magic's some powerful stuff."

Then Susan grinned at me and added, "You were so tall, now you're tiny!"

I blushed, but I was smiling too. "Hey, I'm fun-sized, ok? And anyways, this is like my ideal body or whatever? Lily can tell these things, she's a 'connoisseur of souls' and stuff."

Melissa smirked, "Fun-sized, I'll have to remember that."

Sue looked back at her and said "And you... Wow. You're like..."

My best friend put on her best air-headed ditz act. "So like I know some people think it's bad to say stuff like 'bimbo'? But like I think they're totally jealous right? I mean like who wouldn't be, right? Like look at this fantastic rack!"

While she was talking, Melissa got up and sort of strutted around the sofa so she was directly in front of Susan. Then cupped her large boobs as she leaned forward, so she was practically holding them out in Sue's face. If she'd been wearing one of her tight t-shirts with the deep neckline it would have been perfect, but Melissa was still wearing her comfy oversized tunic-top which wasn't quite as effective for the act.

Susan's eyes bugged out a little as she stared, she looked like she had no idea how to react.

"Sorry Sue," Melissa giggled as she straightened up. She moved back to her seat as she added, "I'm just messing with you. Still, you should see the reaction I get from some guys when I do that to them."

I suppressed a giggle of my own as I watched the performance. Then I got up and stretched and said, "I think I'm going to call it a night. Why don't you two sleep together tonight?"

Both of them stared at me in surprise, they both had a 'wait what?' look on their faces.

I looked back and forth between them, then said to Melissa "Look if Susan signs a deal with Lily then you two will be able to sleep together without draining each other. So you may as well give it a try before-hand? If Sue's going to join the team I think you should make sure you and she are compatible like that too."

Then I addressed Susan, "Same goes for you. If you do this, there's only two people in the world you'll be able to sleep with safely. That's me and Melissa. So find out if you're good with each other while you still have the chance to change your mind."

Melissa finally responded, "She isn't protected though Mara. If I sleep with her tonight I'll be draining some energy from her."

"Which isn't permanent or fatal or anything," I pointed out. "So she'll get to feel what it's like, what she'll be doing to other people for the rest of her life."

I added, "Lily? Is this ok? Can you still work with her later if she and Melissa sleep together tonight?"

"Yes Mara," she replied. "And I agree with your suggestion and your reasoning."

I relayed that to the others, "Lily says it's fine. So you two have a good night, and have fun. I'll make us all breakfast in the morning."

With that I went into my room and closed the door behind me.

As I started to get undressed Lily commented, "You're taking this very well Mara. I worried you might have reservations about me taking on more contracted humans."

"I do have concerns," I replied softly. "I don't want to wind up running some kind of brothel like a madam, with a bunch of people all having to sleep with me all the time to transfer energy to you. You said you had a half dozen at one point? That'd be like a different person almost every night of the week. I don't want that."

I added with a sigh, "I also know if you want that, I can't stop you. I can't interfere in your 'demonic business', I know that's part of our deal. And I'm glad you told Sue to wait, I'm glad you wanted to let me and Melissa get to know her better and all that? But like I said, I don't want this to be like the start of you building an empire or something of half succubusses. Succubi? Whatever."

"I understand Mara," Lily replied. "And I will keep your concerns in mind. I'm not seeking to build an empire either, but at the same time I don't like to turn down willing candidates."

"Yeah," I sighed as I sat down on my bed. "I get that too. It still seems weird to me what she wants, but I get that we're all unique and everyone has different priorities."

"Indeed. Why don't you get some rest Mara? I can tell you're tired, and a little stressed."

I nodded, "Ok Lily. Good night."

"Goodnight Mara."

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