I'm starting to dislike this whole tutoring thing. Stupid teachers, I'm the best basketball player and every other sport I excel at too. I'm in the best shape ever. So what if I don't know math, science, social studies, or compassion. What does any of those subjects have to do with my career in sports? But it's not up to me, is it? Stupid society and your rules. Just let me play sports.

Yeah, sports. Getting my mind off the gutter. Can't think of dirty thoughts when you are trying to shoot some hoops. But then... I learned of Elon. He comes to this school. I don't recall him back in elementary school, but I know for a fact that he was in that girl's bathroom. I was just in time when I saw the teacher pull him and her out. The teacher was blocking his view so I didn't see him too well, but it was him. That freaking hair, only he had that messy hair. It's still messy, albeit it shorter. Whatever, man. Let him be a weirdo.

Aw, man. I'm doing it again. I just think to myself about these useless things. I really need to get my mind of off this. But still, the opportunity has come. I just need to know what he was doing in there, and he's right here. Why not just answer me? I'm not a bully anymore. I won't tell anyone. Just tell me.

And that's what I'm going to do today. I'm going to ask him again.

But I really shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't! Okay... okay. Just... argh... okay, how about if we ask him once again and if he says no, we leave it at that. Simple. Just leave it at that. He doesn't want to talk about it and I don't want to hear it and I would have alleviated this stress I'm going through. It's perfect. I get to ask and he gets to deny.

So the day ends and I head to the library. Elon is waiting for me outside. After checking to make sure my friends are not around, I approach him.

"Yo, Elon."

"Hi, Rudy."

We go inside and we start to study.

I find studying hard. I just can't figure this stuff out, but Elon does a good job in making me understand it somewhat. I still got to concentrate but I seem to be doing better. I got to hand it to him.

We keep studying for about an hour when we decide to just take a break.

"You're pretty good," I compliment him. "You can be a teacher."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah. I mean, I don't like studying and stuff, but you make it easy to understand."

"I don't think so. I just learned how to break apart a lesson and restructure it in a way that Nola can understand. I'm just using the same method here."

Nola...

Aw man, don't think about it. But I did say I would ask him. Nothing wrong with that. Should I do it now? Might as well.

"Say, Elon...." I say as I look around me.

"Yeah..."

"So... about that time..."

"What time?"

"You know... back then..."

"No, I don't know. What are you referring to?"

He's looking at me with suspicion. Who am I kidding, just go for it.

"Okay, look, you got to tell me what happened in that bathroom. Back when you were in elementary-"

"Rudy, just knock it off."

"Elon, I'm not going to tell anyone. I mean, I didn't tell anyone even though I know about it."

"Heather warned me there are rumors going around me."

"Dude, I swear, I didn't say anything. You got to trust me."

"It's kind of hard to do so when you got this... very pushy attitude."

"I am not a bully."

"But your colleagues are."

"Yeah, them, but not me. I don't do that bullying crap."

"Then why don't you stop them?"

"If I do, then I'm the one who is being bullied. I have no choice. I got a reputation to keep."

"You and your reputation. What's the point? Once you leave high school, only your friends will care. The whole school is just going to forget you after you graduate."

"But I don't want to spend the reminder of the time being made fun of, okay?"

"What is the matter with you, Rudy? Ever since we met, you've been obsessed with this."

"You don't understand. It's been years since I've been wondering about this."

"That is not normal. This compulsion you have about this matter... I don't know what to make of it, but normal people don't obsess over something like this."

"Just tell me, already. I just want to know and be at peace."

"At peace? You mean you're letting this get to you?"

"What do you mean? It's just curiosity. It's nothing more than just wanting to really know."

He suddenly gets up, "Let's go outside." I grab my stuff and we do so.

Outside, in a small area where no one was around, he continues. "Rudy, you are acting weird, okay? This is not normal. Not in the slightest. So what if you saw me get out of the girl's bathroom. I got reprimanded and everyone in school made fun of me. Why is that not enough? Why do you want to know so badly?"

"It's just curiosity, okay? Call it morbid if you want, but I'm curious."

"This is not something you should be curious about. The most I expect is if you just brought it up to make fun of me. Fine, I get it, it's embarassing. Like I said, once I graduate, it's all in the past, but you're taking this too far."

"Why can't you just answer me? Why can't you just tell me? How many times must I mention I will never mention it to anyone."

"Because it's a personal thing, that's why. That was a shocking experience and I don't want to relive it, and I don't want you to spread it around either. And even if you are not going to, I don't feel good about letting you know. I don't feel good about you knowing about it in the first place. Just drop the subject already."

He's right. He's absolutely right. I got to drop this. Why am I obsess? You know why! Just drop it already! But... I feel like I'm so close... I'm so close to the truth. Why stop now!?

"I don't know why you just can't tell me. Haven't I proved that I can be trusted? Just because I was a bully in the past doesn't mean I'm one now. I'll stop bothering you if you just please tell me. Just tell me already!"

He's looking at me with tense eyes. I don't know if this him looking at me with some kind of contempt or if it's just another one of his dead stares.  Have I finally convinced him? Is he going to tell me now? Please, Elon, just tell me.

"Rudy... I'm going to cash in on that favor you owe me."

"Now? Why now?"

"Rudy, I want you to see the school psychiatrist."

"Psychiatrist? Like therapy? The school has that?"

"Yeah. It's on the third floor of the main building. I want you talk to the doctor."

"I don't need to see a doctor. I'm fine."

"Whatever you think doesn't matter. See her and talk to her."

"Why can't you just tell me? Just tell me!"

"I think there's a bigger problem that you are not seeing. Or maybe you do know that you have a problem but are denying it. In either case, you have to see her."

"Knock it off, Elon. I don't need therapy. I just want to know."

"You don't have a choice. If you want to continue our tutoring sessions, you have to see the doctor."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. I want you to see the doctor this week. I'll let her know."

"You have her number?"

"Yeah."

"Damn, Elon. You like older women?"

"It's because I'm consulting with her too."

"What? Holy s**t! You're crazy?"

"Maybe, but you will be seeing her too so don't be rude."

¹Ah! Now I know why my mind decided to call him "Rudy".

"Elon, why are you doing this to me? If people find out, they'll never let me hear the end of it."

"Go see her after school then. It's on the 3rd floor so nobody will see you go in or out at that hour."

"But tutoring is already eating my basketball time."

"You need this, Rudy. And I won't tutor you anymore if she tells me you have not been visiting her."

"Come on, Elon-"

"Promise me you'll see her."

Dammit, what is this? Where did this come from? But I need him to tutor me. I'm not getting that scholarship unless I raise my grades. Crap.

"Fine. I'll see her later."

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. You play sports all the time. Another hour out of your week won't hurt you."

I stomp my foot as I look away from him. This Elon guy, he's smarter than I gave him credit for.

"Fine... I'll see her tomorrow."

"Alright then."

"All of this can just end if you just tell me, you know."

"Just see her tomorrow. Now come on. Let's go back in."

F***ing Elon. What are you doing? Just tell me! This could all just end if you just tell me!

Why? Why? Why do I want to know?

No, don't answer that.

Damn. Elon is not going to tell me. Heather is most likely isn't either. My curiosity does not want to let this go.

But I feel I'm so close. I can't give up. I won't. This is my life long quest and I will see it to the end! After all, there's still one more person left, and she goes to our school.

I got no choice. I'm going to have to find Nola and ask her myself.