My mother took the marriage certificate and whilst flipping the pages, she complained.  "This child, why did you take other people's marriage certificate away……if you want, you could get one yourself……"  She broke off abruptly.

          I lowered my head, afraid to look at her.

          One second, two seconds……

         My mother did not give any response, so I raised my head to check whether her acupuncture points were pressed.  Why is there no sound from her?

          The old lady's nerves were not like the young and in the end, it was still fragile and slow.  The moment I raised my head, I saw her holding the red book, trembling as if every cell in her body were shivering. 

          No matter what, she is still my own mother, so feeling concerned, I pulled her hand and worriedly asked.  "Mom, are you reacting like this because you are happy?"

          Finally, she responded by slamming the red book directly onto my head and fiercely roared.  "I am not your mother!"

          I picked up the marriage registration book, flipped to the page with the photo then pointed at it and in my most charming voice, I said.  "Mom look, this is your daughter and this is your son-in-law.  Didn’t you always wanted to marry me off?'

          My mother swatted away my hand, as her tears fell.  I was watching from the side in amazement.  Her tears…....her tears can flow as freely and as quickly as she wanted…….    

          This time, my mother grabbed my sleeve to wipe her tears then she choked and said.  "But you cannot do this without letting me know and got this certificate first.  I am still your mother……"

          I lightly patted her back to comfort her.  "I just wanted to give you a surprise.'

          My mother's acceptance ability compared to her peers of the same generation could be regarded as outstanding.  She dried her tears, grabbed my marriage license and looked carefully at Jiang Li's photo.

          Then my mother asked.  "How tall is he?  What is his occupation?  What kind of car does he drive?  Does he own a house?"

          I stared at my mother and in a serious tone, I said.  "Mom, in fact, is He Zi your biological daughter?"  The questions asked were almost the same!

          My mother slapped my head and said impatiently.  "What nonsense are you talking?  Quickly answer my questions!"

          I could only repeat what I had told He Zi earlier in the day and retold the same to my mother.         

          My mother took a closer look at Jiang Li's handsome face and muttered to herself.  "He is not a conman, is he?"

          My god, He Zi must really be her biological daughter! ! !

         I resisted the impulse to run away.  I tugged my mother and acted like a spoilt child.  "Mom, don’t worry.  Even if it is cheating, I will be the one cheating him."  Looking at his appearance, it was obvious.  *Wipe sweat*.

          My mother nodded and agreed to my point of view.  "True…..but his qualities are so good, what did he see in you?"

          Me:  "….."    

          Me:  "Mom, let's go and do a DNA test, okay?"

          My mother was still distracted so she did not hear my extremely constructive proposal.  She stroked my marriage license and her tone was faintly discernible.  "Child, why do I feel I still cannot accept the fact."

         I played with my mother's hand and asked.  "What is wrong?  I had picked such a good son-in-law for you......are you still not satisfied?"

          "No."  The old lady's voice sounded faint.  "I was thinking, this thing had developed as such……why is it so rushed?"

          "Mom, look……feelings can actually be cultivated.  Diamond bachelors cannot be found all over the streets and with difficulty, we have caught one.  So why not grab him first before someone does?   Or should we wait around for other demons to snatch him away, then there will not be even a drop of soup left to drink!"  I explained vividly to the old lady.

          My mother faintly said.  "Your mother did not think that you can be so enlightened."

          Me:  "That…..hai, hai……*he, he,he*….."

          My mother ignored my speechlessness and said to herself.  "But how did my precious son-in-law become a pot of pork ribs soup, as described by you?"

          Your……precious……son-in-law?

          Because of the stimulus of a marriage certificate, my mother suffered insomnia at night.  The consequence of her insomnia was her daughter did not get to sleep because she was tossed and turned.  The old lady kept asking about Jiang Li, her questions repeated at least ten times and I was pestered beyond endurance.  And on top of that, I had only met him twice, how would I know so much about him?   I was angry and really wanted to gather my quilt and go back to my room to sleep but ……but I do not dare.  As I had said earlier, I do not dare to sleep alone.  My god…..this is really too much!

          Finally, I learned to master the method of invincible sleep and in the midst of my mother's shaking and turning, I eventually fell asleep.  This time, I think if an earthquake is to happen, I would surely be the one buried.  Later, my mother said…..as long as I, your mother is around, my daughter will never be buried.  As soon as I heard these words, immediately my bad feelings and resentment towards her all dissipated.  Look…..my mother had always been like this, unable to make me love her and unable to make me hate her.   

          Because of an old lady's disturbance, I slept until ten o'clock in the morning.  When I woke up I saw the note that my mother left, to say that she had gone out for her daily morning exercise and would only be back later.  What morning exercise needed the whole morning…….I was speechless.

         In the kitchen, I looked around for some food and found the old lady still had the conscience to leave me a small breakfast.   Since I did not have an appetite, I only ate two mouthfuls then came back to the living room and looked at my phone.

          Because my mother and I slept in the same room, I was afraid the old lady could not stand any disturbance so usually, I would put my phone on mute and leave it in the living room.  Anyway, no one would call me in the night and even if there is, they can go to hell!

         The phone showed a few missed calls and messages and as I looked through, I found they were all from Jiang Li from this morning, six o'clock to nine o'clock.  I wondered what was so urgent so I opened the text messages and read.

          JL:  Inconvenient to answer the phone?

          JL:  My parents are arriving in B-city on this morning's flight at eleven o'clock, can you come over?

          This guy is really filial, rushing to bring his wife to meet his mother.  I do not know if his mother would slap his head or my head if she finds out the truth that his wife is in-name-only.       

          I looked at my watch, it was already half-past ten and now it was too late to go to the airport unless I am Superman or Doraemon but I am neither.  I picked out Jiang Li's number and wanted to give him a call but felt too embarrassed. What should I tell him…..directly say I overslept?  If he obediently and truthfully reports to his mother then this daughter-in-law would have incurred her wrath even before we met, which did not bode goodwill.  I did not care that Jiang Li would hate me but I know if his mother hated me then it could be guessed that my days would not be any better.  

          So I hesitated and timidly sent him a reply:  Just tell your parents that I wanted to go but you will not let me go.

          After a while, Jiang Li returned my message:  You are really the best.

          I really wanted to answer him with a 'thanks for your praise' or 'we are the same' but considering that I was actually a very reserved person, so I was not bothered with him.

          I threw my phone onto the sofa, took out a key from the drawer and went to look for He Zi.  As she lived alone she suffers from over-anxiety and is afraid that when some sort of illness suddenly happens to her, no one would know if she died at home.  So, she left her house key in my home to let me check on her every now and then to see if she had died.

          Yesterday, He Zi had drunk too much (of course, I also had drunk a lot but I did not get drunk…..*ha, ha,ha,*), and I was sure she could not go to work today, so I took the spare key and went into her house.  When I went in, she was lying on bed and she whispered.  "Dead Xiao Yan, why didn’t you come and check on me!"

          I went over, yanked her quilt off then smiled and said.  "Devil, aren't I here now?"

          He Zi rolled her eyes at me and said weakly.  "My whole body is aching, you have to wait on me."

         I gave her a cup of warm water then ran back to my house to get the plate of food that my mother had left for me as breakfast.  I heated it and placed it in front of He Zi.  She was very happy with my performance and ate it with relish.

          I propped my chin with my hand and asked without any hesitation.  "He Zi, the way you create havoc with your job, you will not be fired, right?"

          He Zi stared at me and sternly said.  "He will not dare! !"

          He Zi's Department Boss was her boyfriend and unless she had offended the Boss of the Department Boss otherwise the chances of her being fired were practically zero.  But there was nothing to be worried about for He Zi is not the kind of person to be suppressed.  Actually, she had hooked her man before he became the Department Boss.  Of course, in the company, she was not pretentious nor domineering nor arrogant, with good behavior and occasionally made minor mistakes which were easily forgiven. 

          I continued.  "Then when are you getting married?"

          I felt myself creating an opportunity for He Zi to scorn with me.  As expected, this time He Zi looked at me with disdain.  "Like you?  Hot brains brewing with recklessness?"

         I giggled.  When we were in middle school, I remembered the political teachers and language teachers liked to discuss on the topic 'Seize the opportunity to meet the challenge'.  Now that I had seen the chance I had seized it, even without meeting the challenge……this was indeed a perfect ending but of course, later I found out I was actually wrong.  Jiang Li himself was the challenge!       

          In He Zi's place, I chatted with her until she regained her happy mood and without taking her lunch, she went back to sleep again.  Yesterday, she had drunk too much and today, she should rest more.  Not wishing to disturb her, I quietly left her place and went back to my house.  

          It was almost 12 noon and my mother should be back home by now.  I am a useless person, a virgin almost reaching thirty who still had to rely on my mother for support.   The main point is not that I am lazy but my cooking did not measure up to my mother's standards and of course, the food I cooked was considered unpalatable by the old lady.  In fact, I had always felt that my cooking was too bad, at least I considered my own cooking was good but who could argue with my old lady with her picky mouth.