June, Summer of 2013,

Start of summer break between freshman and sophomore year.

 

The girl is grunting out in pain as her body makes impact with the pavement of her front yard. Her eyebrows furrow and she squeezes her eyes shut from the white searing that spreads through her arm which took the brunt of her fall. Okay, so she might have made a little mistake. Miki felt the skin at her elbow tear open and she winces, the sun beating down hot on everyone standing outside. Especially on Miki, she feels like there’s a heat lamp aimed right on top of her. The ground under her is scalding from the early summer temperature. She snaps her head up with wide blue eyes, her body going rigid as she tries to push herself up as soon as the shock of pain settles. She’s gotten to her knees. Her mother is yelling something but a huge wave of nausea runs through her stomach as she gags in her mouth a little. Miki blinks the sun out of her eyes as she tries to focus on her mother, her father is standing not too far behind her with his arms crossed. She flicks her eyes and sees Flynn sitting on the steps that lead up to the porch- in the shade. Of course he’s sitting in the shade.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Camilla screeches, her voice sounds out through the street of their perfect neighborhood with an echo. Her mother never curses. Well never is a bit of a stretch, but it’s rare. Camilla doesn’t lose her composure like this often. She never curses like this, that’s probably a better way to word it. Miki brings a shaky hand to grip her wrist, only now noticing how hard her mother had clamped down around her wrist when she dragged the teenage girl outside and threw her onto the ground.

"Drugs? Are you fucking kidding me?! You are fifteen, Miki! Fifteen years old!" Her mother holds the transparent baggies she found on Miki's dresser up in the air in front of everyone, the same drugs that are currently in the girls system. Camilla throws them to the floor in rage. The bags hit the ground hard and scatter, sliding away.

"They aren't mine!" Miki tries to protest,

"Is it us?!" The question is screamed, drowning out Miki’s own small voice, "HUH? Do you just hate it here that bad? Do you hate us?! Is your life that fucking bad, Miki Mallory Miya!?"

Miki flinches at the tone, at the use of her full name. Her trembling shoulders hunch in on themselves as she feels anxiety tug at her heart. Camilla Miya doesn't scream often, choosing to keep herself professional. You'll occasionally hear her say some awful things behind closed doors, but not out in broad day light- not loud enough to be heard from a block away. She doesn't look away, her mother's composure deflates a little and she suddenly looks so exhausted,

"I'm so disappointed in you, I don't know what we did to deserve this."

Miki flinches again, her eyes squinting as she feels the impact of words. ‘Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can hurt me.’ My ass. Her bleeding elbow doesn’t even hurt as much as this, she could have fucking fractured it, it doesn’t hurt like this. It doesn’t sting as bad as her heart does as she knows she will never be good enough for her parents; that any respect she could gain from them is gone. Miki can say she doesn’t care about her parents, that she doesn’t care what they think- that they’re stuck in their own ways and she can’t be bothered to try and get them to see her for who she is. It’s a lie, it’s a front. Why would she consistently get good grades? Why else would she do what they tell her to do (for the most part) if she didn’t care what they thought?

Ever since she was a kid, all she’s wanted from them was some little bit of approval. A little bit of hope.

Just a little bit of sincerity.

But maybe Miki was the one to keep fucking that up. She just keeps doing something wrong, even when she isn’t trying to.

"That's it." The tone is finality, making her heart drop down low into her stomach. Miki’s hands feel clammy and sticky. "You're going to stay with your grandparents for the summer. We can't do this with you anymore, and you won't work with us." Camilla stares down at her daughter in disappointment, and Miki's eyes widen at her mother's demand.

"You will be calling them, and telling them what you did and why you need to stay with them. That should put a little shame to you." Her mother scoffs, glaring. It was probably

Miki's lips part on shock as her head takes at the idea of being moved to a state over, she reels. The thought of being taken away from her friends, of the familiarity of Downersgrove. Even if only for a summer, for only a couple months. She was supposed to stop being grounded right when their summer break between freshman year and sophomore year started. Miki made plans with her friends. She made plans with Brooke - her best friend. They had been getting closer recently and Miki found extreme comfort in the girl. "NO!" She yells out desperately in defiance. Miki resorts to begging- she will try anything she has to. "Please! I don't want to go-!"

Her mothers heel scrapes against the driveway cement. Camilla looks down at Miki with an unreadable expression. "If you choose to not do this, I will be handing you over to the cops. I don't care if you are my daughter."

Miki's throat constricts in shock at the words. She splutters as saliva pools into her mouth. Miki desperately tries to not start choking or coughing. She catches Rio's gaze from the front door, she doesn't even know when he opened it and got there. Miki stars to glower over at him, at everyone- she feels like she’s a caged animal that’s being prodded at. Her attention snaps back to her mother who has turned away, leaving her there to instead go inside. Flynn is gone from the porch, must have been ushered inside by Rio. Bentley puts his hand reassuringly on his wife’s shoulder as they go back into her home. Her family doesn’t spare her even a glance. It makes her chest ache.

Miki almost whines, the choke of a sob pulling deep in her throat as she shoves herself forward and scrambles to pick up the disregarded drugs. She shoves them in her pocket, pulling the phone she got from Felix from out of her back pocket. She see’s the big crack in the screen from how hard she landed on it. Her hands tremble, bottom lip puffs out, eyes watering,

"Fuck." Miki curses wetly as she sinks further onto her knees, she checks to make sure it still works. The screen turns on- so she just sighs in relief. Miki guesses it’s about time she finally cracked a cellphone, with how careless she is with the electronics, just sucks it happened to be one she was borrowing. She’s so mad, she’s so hurt. She finds herself irked that its her mothers fault that the phone is damaged, she was the one who threw her on the ground.

Miki supposes she should go finish this job, hoping the guy doesn't notice one of the baggies missing a little bit out of it. She sniffs roughly and wipes her nose with the back of her hand, hoping there isn’t any residue on it. Jesus, it’s so fucking hot outside. It feels like her skin is boiling from the sun, wouldn’t be surprised if she was burnt to a crisp by tomorrow.

She just wanted to fucking try it, okay? It's not like she even feels anything, she just feels awake. She feels alert, like she just had too many energy drinks. Miki barely snorted anything, just a pinch between her thumb and pointer finger. It was nothing. Her heart wont stop racing, but she just thinks it’s the adrenaline of her mother catching her in the middle of snorting snowy powder.

She's been dealing out these little baggies to random strangers since winter break. She’s playing gopher for Felix- who wont give her any of her own. He says she's too young and to come back and ask him in about two years, she scoffs at him every time. Spitting the words "I'm not a child." out in his face- but she was a child. Miki doesn't know if how she's feeling is normal, but she thinks she would kind of like it if it weren't for her mother finding the baggies, walking in on her. Miki vaguely wonders if it’s like when you’re high or drunk and something serious happens so you just kind of sober up on the spot.

She feels extreme nausea, her hearts racing and her hands are shaking; but that could just be from adrenaline. Miki stars to think about having to call her grandparents, having to explain that she's a fuck up. Yeah, not happening. Now she has to figure out a way to get out of that one. She pushes herself to her feet.

There’s a sting on the open skin of her elbow as a breeze blows by that catches her attention, she hisses and brings her hand to cup it, blood smearing on her hand. "Fucking shit." Miki hisses out as she twists her arm over to look at her elbow, which she cant even feel anymore. It’s bloody, messy, there’s gravel in the open wound. There's blood sliding down her forearm. Miki grabs the hem of her shirt up, revealing her mid section, and stretches it to press down on the deep scrape. Some of the blood drips off of her arm and splatters to the pavement at the sudden movements.

A huge but shaky sigh passes through her lips as she drops the clothing and gets out the phone and brings it phone to her face and scrolls her contacts to Felix's name, and hits the call button. Her thumb feels raw from moving over the crack so many times.

Miki thought of calling Brooke, she thought of explaining the situation, she really did. Brooke was her number one, the person she immediately thought of going to in any situation; good or bad. She cant though, she just can’t. She can't get Brooke involved in drugs, or get her involved with Miki's family drama. It would only hurt her, stress her, upset her. Miki wasn't one to feel shame, so she isn't embarrassed, she just has maybe a little too much pride. She can deal with this herself.

During it ringing a few times, Miki looks around for her hoodie she had in her arms that she dropped. She see’s it on the porch, crumpled in a pile- looking like someone stepped on it. She scowls but pushes those thoughts away and jogs over to grab it really quick. The rings are still coming and Miki's sure he's busy and going to ignore her call but he answers on what she assumes is the last ring.

"Miki, did you finish the job?" He asks immediately, barely even giving the line time to connect their call, his voice slightly disinterested and distracted. He must be busy doing something. She hesitates while she bends over to snatch her neon red hoodie from the floor of the porch.

"Not yet, I'm on my way now," She puts the phone on speaker, setting it down onto the porch railing while she throws the clothing item over her head- the inside of the sleeve sticks to the open wound on her elbow but she doesn’t care. The girl grabs the phone and starts to walk out of her front yard. Opens her contacts to find and message the guy where to meet just as she opens the metal gate to get out onto the street. It swings shut behind her with a clang. She brings a hand up to pull her hood over her head, She mutters, "I need a place to crash."

There silence on the other line and then some shuffling, some noise in the background, Miki just waits; she doesn't want to press her luck. There's an incoming call from Brooke, Miki slides decline on her. 'Sorry Brooke.' Miki thinks reluctantly to herself, her chest clenches and stomach turns. Miki eventually had took the phone off speaker and is now holding it up to her ear as she walks.

"You can crash at my place for a few days." Felix finally offers, his tone a little more serious. "You get caught by the cops and are on the run?" His tone changes to jest with amusement making Miki scowl. Something like that.

"Shut up, I'm not." She pauses and puffs a breath out as she digs in her pocket for one of her bent cigarettes from being there, luckily it didn’t snap open, and fits it to her mouth. "I mi’v need to stay for a bit w’onger..." It comes out slightly muffled through the cancer stick stuck between her lips.

"Well how long?" Felix asks, she can hear the slightest bit of curiosity in his voice. Miki holds the phone between her ear and shoulder for a second as she fishes her lighter out and clicks it on to light the end of the cigarette. She picked up smoking right at the start of freshman year. When her and Brooke finally got into high school they were back in the same school as Felix and his friends, the ones they knew from early middle school. Felix had picked up a ton of bad habits, more than he had in junior high. Miki sort of just clung to smoking, having sneakily stole one from Felix’s friend, Rune, to try it. It made her feel badass and less stressed- even if she only does it every now and then… whenever she can steal one or two from people around her.

"Maybe a couple months." She just blurts out through a cloud of smoke. She takes the phone into her hand again, and places it to her other ear. Felix lets out a haughty laugh, "You can't stay with me for months. I'd probably kill you." Miki smirks at the familiarity,

"I'd kill you first."

She hears the sound of air blow through the line from his side, there’s silence before Felix settles on asking; "What happened?"

Miki scoffs as her face drops, "Nothing happened-"

"I can't help you if I don't know what happened, kid."

"Don't call me kid." Miki spits as she takes a long, deep, drag and it burns her lungs. She coughs a little this time. She blames it on him making her angry. After a few seconds of contemplating she slips out, "My mom threw me out." It’s quiet, and it’s said more to the ground she's walking on than to the person on the other end of the line. Her fingers clench around the phone pressed to the side of her head. She isn’t technically lying, her mom didn’t kick her out per say. Miki sits down onto a short wall with planters hanging off of it outside of someones house, she had walked over to the next block.

"It's about time," Felix laughs out loud, Miki makes a noise of distaste in her mouth. She goes to yell at him about how it isn't funny, but he cuts her off before she gets the words out.

"I can set you up at a friends apartment, it definitely isn't the best place for you though." He lets her know, "I'm sure they'll kick you out in less than twenty-four hours." Felix chuckles,

"Shut up," Miki chides, "I won't get kicked out. I bet they wouldn't even let your ugly mug stay there."

"Yeah well, for this favor I'm not paying you a cut of your current job."

Miki hangs up on him after those words, to think she was about to say 'thank you' too. She stares at the screen of her phone and smirks a little. She gets freedom. She gets to live away from her parents or grandparents, even if its temporarily. She gets up off the wall, her skin buzzing as she weaves her way out of the neighborhoods and into town. She gets a message from Felix with an address and adrenaline fills her body. She figures she'll have to go home and get a bag of clothes and other items necessary, but for now she just heads over to Felix’s house. She decides she’ll do the job tomorrow- which Felix wont be happy about but if she isn’t getting any of the pay then who cares?

Luckily she would already be headed towards that area. Which actually isn’t a good sign, this specific part of town is known for criminal activity, she’s seen it on the news a multitude of times. The neighborhood of Dorhill; it’s not small either, taking up a good chunk of uptown Downersgrove. It’s pretty far from her own prestigious neighborhood, it almost makes her want to laugh.

-

 

When she got to Felix’s humble abode he had Rune and Koje over. It was actually fun to hang out with them all since they graduate next year. The three were having a small house party of their own. Drinking beers and smoking weed. Felix wasn’t too mad that she skipped the job and put it out for another day, he just teased her about getting ‘lazy’. Miki had chatted and joked around with the boys for a while as the sun went down and then she took a hit off of Koje’s cool looking bong, laid down in the big chair to the side of the basement, and promptly let herself pass out, tired from what the day had given to her. She also might have taken a hit that was too big, she doesn’t have much of a tolerance for marijuana yet.

The next morning Miki woke up quite earlier, around nine in the morning. It was just the start of summer vacation, so she was a little irritated at waking up so early. The girl was curled up in the big lazy boy chair in Felix’s basement, she sat up drowsily and scanned the room. A blanket that wasn’t there when she fell asleep slid off her torso. Felix was passed out on the couch while Rune and Koje were sprawled out on the floor with a makeshift bed under them. She chuckled at the sight. Miki kind of had a gut feeling the two older males had feelings for one another, and seeing them practically spooning each other on the floor of Felix’s basement just gave her confirmation.

When she goes to stand up she nearly trips and dies as her foot gets caught under the big dog under the name of Roofus. The Saint Bernard jumps up at the sudden movement, also from practically being kicked, and looks up at Miki with droopy eyes- panting happily. Roofus is Felix’s family dog, who Miki adores. Roofus had been laying down at the foot of the chair right under Miki. She smiles at him and gives the boy scratches behind his ears. After giving him the needed attention he deserves, Miki looks around for the phone; which was sitting in the lazy boy- having slipped from her pocket.

Swiping it from it’s place, she unlocks the small screen and immediately frowns. There’s two missed calls from Brooke and a ton of missed messages. She’s sure there would be some from her mom, but her mom still has her phone. She swipes and opens the messages. There’s a few asking why she’s dodging Brooke’s calls, and then there’s one that catches her attention.

It says something about her mom. Something about her mom going crazy and calling everyone asking where Miki is. The girl groans from where she stands, shoulders dropping down in irritation. If her mom didn’t want her to leave then why’d she throw her outside? Nothing says: get out of here! more than that type of action.

Sighing, she pockets the phone. Miki slips her shoes on and gives Roofus another pat on his head at the door since he followed her. “Sorry buddy, I have to go.” She tells him sadly as he licks her hand. Closing the door behind her, Miki makes her way back home in irritation.

 

Once she gets there, her mother is sat in the kitchen having breakfast. Miki prepares herself for the tirade she was most likely going to get, but it never comes. Her mom just addresses her with a sigh, taking a drink of orange juice while pointing to their home phone that’s sat in the corner on their island bar in it’s charging station. Camilla swallows, “Go on, call your grandparents.”

“Where’s dad and Flynn?” Miki asks, avoiding her orders but making her way over as if to look like she’s about to get on the phone. Camilla sighs, her fork scrapes on her plate.

“Flynn is having a play date with the Welsh’s kid.”

Miki rolls her eyes internally. She cant help but feel irritated, Flynn is out with a friend while Miki’s about to be sent away all summer. Not if she can help it though. She observers her mother eating breakfast, there's a practiced calm in the air. It feels different compared to the hostility of yesterday, but Miki supposes they’re just going to pretend the bad parts didn’t happen. Camilla shoots her daughter a look, a look of expectance. Miki bites her bottom lip as the gears in her head turn at almost a law breaking speed until finally she gets an idea.

Grabbing the house phone from its dock, she dials her grandparents phone number. Miki shoots blue eyes to look at her mother, who seems pleased with Miki’s compliance. A grin threatens to pull on the girls face as she goes around the kitchen island to sit on one of the bar stools. She hesitates on the call button, quickly moving her finger to hit the end call button instead. The phone is brought to her ear, her mother isn’t watching her like a hawk- moving to clean up her dishes instead. Miki’s heart starts to race, if she gets caught then her mom will be even more mad at her.

“Hey Grandpa.” Miki says into the dead line, she waits a second before spitting out more words, “I’m doing alright.. How are you and grandma? Hows Susie doing?”

There’s no reply because there is no one on the other line. She waits, making up a reply he would give her inside of her head. After a moment she replies.

“Well…” Miki tries to put on her best acting skills. “Actually, things aren’t all that great. I got in trouble.”

She can see her mother nod from where the woman stands at the sink. Pretending she was asked ‘trouble with what?’ from the phone, she lets out a sigh, putting her arm onto the counter in front of her and laying her head down. The words come out quietly, awkward to be saying them in front of her mother and also she imagines that she’s actually on the phone with her grandparents. It doesn’t make her feel great. “I got caught having drugs in the house.”

The older man would probably start yelling in shock, so she goes, “I know! I know… It was stupid, i’m stupid.” Miki grits her teeth for a second with her eyes looking up. Camilla is leaning back against the counter by the sink with her arms crossed.

“Anyways..” Miki begins, sitting up again fully, “Mom’s sending me away to come stay with you guys for summer break.”

Pretending to nod, she mhm’s as well. “That’s all, yeah, Love you.” The phone clenches tighter in her hand, “Bye.”

“Wait Miki, I wante to talk to him don’t hang up yet.” Her mom comes over with her hand out. Miki’s heart jolts erratically. She coughs, “Ah! He already hung up.”

Her mom puts her hand down.

“Sorry.” Miki mutters, clicking the hang up button, even though there’s no one to hang up on, and puts the phone down.

“I’ll talk to them later, I suppose… I am rather busy today.” Pivoting on her heel, her mother goes to grab something from the table. Camilla brings over a ticket of sorts along with a paper. She slaps it onto the island counter Miki’s sitting at. It’s a train ticket. Miki frowns, picking them up in interest. It’s a ticket to the city her grandparent’s live in, which is technically a state away- but it’s the first town over north of Downersgrove. City of Mistham.

“The train is booked for tomorrow, and there's a paper with my signature just in case they make a fuss over you being a minor.”

“You guys aren’t taking me?” Miki asks, a breath she didn’t know she was holding puffs out- making the words sound breathless. Miki chews on her lip. Her mother sighs.

“I’m afraid not, Your father and I have an early summer business trip we need to prepare for. We’re trying to see if the Welsh’s will watch Flynn while we are gone- he’s always liked their family.” Her mother explains, contemplating something internally. Miki stares at her.

Out of curiosity, Miki asks, “How long is your business trip?” Camilla quirks a brow.

“It’s about a month, we’ll be flying across the country. Our plane leaves tonight, so Rio will be taking you to the station tomorrow.”

Internally cursing the world, Miki nods. She gets up to go start packing, acting nonchalant until she hits the stairs and books it. Up in her room, Miki grumbles to herself. She needs to think of a way out of Rio taking her. She just hopes her mother doesn’t call her grandparents tonight or tomorrow. The redhead leaves her room to grab a suitcase from the hall closet. Miki’s wracking her brain trying to figure out an escape plan. While she’s packing up some random clothes she yanks from her dresser drawers and pulls out from her closet- she gets a message from the guy she’s supposed to go sell to asking if the deal is off.

“Ugh.” Miki groans, messing with her hair as she types out a reply- saying to meet sometime tomorrow. There’s no reply for a moment. Miki flops back onto her bed and finally open Brooke’s messages. Her heart speeds up as she reads them over again, sending a short reply back to show that she isn’t ignoring her. Miki makes up some excuse about her family making her do a bunch of chores.

 

A knock sounds from her bedroom door and she flails about to hide the phone. “Come in.” She calls out after she has shoved the electronic device deep under her pillow. Her door opens and in comes her dad. She tenses a little.

“Hey sweetheart.” He says, cautiously. Miki blinks at the affectionate word. Bentley surveys the room, eyeing her messy suitcase that’s laid open on the ground.

“Hi.” Miki offers to him and he looks back at his daughter, bringing a hand up to ruffle his chocolate brown hair. He pauses for a second, hesitates, but comes and sits next to her on the bed. Miki purses her lips, putting her hands into her lap. A beat of silence passes between the two of them.

“We’re not sending you away because we hate you.” He says, the words are practiced. Miki snorts at the statement, he gives her a look. “I’m serious.”

“Mom definitely hates me.” Miki huffs, using one of her hands to pick at the skin around her thumb nail on the other. Bentley puts his hand on her shoulder, coaxing her to look at him. She tilts her head to meet his own matching blue eyes.

“She doesn’t hate you. We don’t hate you.” He squeezes his hand, hoping to get the words through to her and then removes it entirely. “We just think getting away from here, sending you to your grandparents, will be good.”

She fights the urge to roll her eyes. “A break from it all will be good, and your sister has been bugging to see you.” Her eyes widen a bit at the words, confusion clouding her senses.

“What?” She croaks, “Mom doesn’t want Susie around me though.” Miki’s gaze drops down to her lap.

“What are you talking about? That’s not true. If it were the case, Flynn would be with grandma and grandpa too.” Bentley takes a breath, “There weren’t any schools that could work with her Mutism, but there’s one in Mistham. That’s why she’s there.”

Ena-Susie had pretty bad anxiety as a child, she would barely talk to anyone- even her own family- she was mostly only comfortable around Flynn- which is her twin so it makes sense. Miki never really understood it, never fully knew about it. Susie has gotten a lot better now, even calls her parents frequently and talks on the phone with her brother a ton. Bentley explains once the twins start high school, she’ll come home. A sudden relief washes over Miki, she always thought it was because of her. The way her mom lets her know just how much of a bad influence she is really made it think it was her fault.

“Anyways.” Her father pauses as he stands up, “I just wanted to let you know that we aren’t mad.”

Miki scoffs at that, no way he isn’t lying. He gives her a stern look, “We just… we don’t know how to help you, or what to do with you.”

Silence fills the room as Miki doesn’t have anything to say- doesn’t know what to say. He gives his daughter a small sigh as he heads for the door to her room. “Alright? Love you.”

“Love you too.” She grunts out quietly, more of a mumble. He closes her door behind him.

Miki kicks her legs out, frustrated. She can’t go to her grandparent’s. She already faked a phone call to them, they won’t know she’s coming. The girl feels bad if her little sister actually wants to see her, but she can’t go. Not right now. She doesn’t want to leave. Maybe it’s because it’s orders, she’s being told to go so maybe that’s why she’s so against it.

Miki’s also a little scared her parents won’t let her come home. That they’ll tell her it’s best if she stays. She’s so scared. Her fight or flight senses are going off.

 

-

 

The following morning her parents are already gone. She hadn’t seen either of them before they left- stayed holed up in her room for the night, didn’t even come down for dinner. Rio is knocking on her door at ten in the morning, seeing if she’s ready to go since the train leaves at eleven and he doesn’t want her to miss it. He helps her pack her one suitcase into his car, and then they are off.

At the train station, that’s when things start to unfold. A foreseeable plan starts to come together once Rio asks her, “Do you need help with your ticket and stuff?”

A grin almost breaks out onto her face, her heart speeds up at the chance. “No, I’ve got it. Mom gave me a slip too, in case there’s any trouble over my age.”

He nods at her, looking only slightly unconvinced, she panics. “Also, I mean, doing this myself will build my responsibility.”

“That’s true.” He agrees, handing her the black luggage from his trunk. “I’ll stay until you board on, just to make sure.”

Fuck. Miki gives a nod, biting her lip. He closes the lid of the trunk and goes back to sit in the drivers seat, watching her from the windows as she makes her way to the outside service desk. She waits in line, starting to get antsy. Once it’s her turn, they take her ticket and look over the note with plain disinterest, scanning it and giving her the go ahead. Her body melts in relief.

Walking over to the gate, Miki turns around to give Rio a wave. He waves back and gives her a thumbs up. Miki gives one back and then turns around to walk through the gates slowly, then jumping next to a wall to get out of his sight- peaking around it to watch the car. Rio starts to pull out, and eventually leave the parking lot. Miki can’t help but feel invincible, she internally cheers- a flood of adrenaline floods her veins as she books it out of there. Her suitcase rolls behind her, chaotically bumping, flying over every rock, jolting off of crack in the uneven ground. A few people give her odd looks, but she could care less.

Her parents kept her phone. Rio said that they told him about how she doesn’t need one anyways, and will get it back after summer. Miki found that to be absolute bullshit, but wasn’t too bothered as she still has the one from Felix.

Speaking of, she stops in her tracks and bends down to pull the phone out of the front pocket of her suitcase. Miki texts the guy, letting him know to meet up with her in an hour- since that’s how long it’ll take her to walk to that side of town. The girl is filled with
triumph, she can’t believe she was able to pull this off in the end. Looking back, it wasn't the smartest idea, but it brought her something she would never want to change.

 

Miki finishes her job in a haste- not wanting to spend much time around the person who bought from Felix. Then she heads to the apartment complex address Felix had sent her days earlier, which is right around the block; dead set in the middle of Dorhill, which is basically the ghetto. It doesn't bother her as much as she thought it would though. Yeah, there’s some creepy looking people lurking in the shadows... but all she can hope for is that no one tries to mug her for her suitcase. The girl finds the building and enters, stalking up the steps. It’s the second floor to the left. She pounds two times, one light and one hard. Her ears catch yelling from inside. After a minute of waiting, she tries to open the door. It's unlocked.

The yelling intensifies with the door cracking open, and now she can hear the sound of music playing; all static from shitty speakers.

"I'm coming in." Is all Miki shouts out as she lets herself in, some guy turns the corner and leans on the frame of the entry way; he's holding a pipe up to his mouth. He nods at Miki, and Miki only blinks back. "You the girl Felix talkin' bout?"

Miki nods a confirmation as she ushers her inside, suitcase in tow. The first thing she sees is two people arguing, ones holding a gun by his side which makes Miki tense. After surveying the room she knows exactly what's happening, probably a disagreement, probably a misunderstanding. Probably the wrong order.

"You ain't gonna cheat us out of this shit again!" The one with the gun spats, the person standing in front takes a step back in caution. The man with the gun has black hair with neon green tips, his face has multiple piercings: right eyebrow, snake bites, and septum. He's older, Miki can see the fine lines around his eyes and lips. Maybe he's in his thirties, early thirties. Could be even late thirties; Miki presumes, she tries not to stare as the man takes a step forward to keep the other person accounted for.

"Give me the shit I fucking paid for, yeah?" The man threatens while he starts getting handsy, Miki gets a good look at the other person once they finally walk further past to where she can see his face hidden behind his gray hood.

Oh, its a girl.

Miki see's the girls hair tucked in, can see the fear flickering in her eyes, the horror on her face. Her own heart starts to speed up. She can see herself in this stranger- and for some reason it puts her on edge.

"Brent-" She breathes, "That's all he gave me, that's what he said-"

"NOW!" The gun rings out, not as loud because of the silencer, and a bullet goes straight into the wall opposite of them. The girl shrieks and brings her hands up to her ears as she ducks down in on herself, crouching against the floor as Brent breathes heavy above her. She's shaking, hidden by her over sized hoodie- but Miki can tell.

"Tell that bastard I'm done with him." The man, Brent, spits out and snaps. "I'm fucking done with your guys' shit. You better watch your fucking backs."

The girl doesn't move.

"GET!" Brent hollers and kicks the girls shoulder. The girl scrambles to get up and bolts to the front door. She slams her shoulder into Miki, nearly tripping over the suitcase, and rips open the front door; not bothering to close it behind her as it bounces off the wall and nearly shuts on its own.

"What'd they cheat us out of?" The guy who met Miki as the door asks, he has shaggy brown hair that's clumpy with grease, his eyes are green just like Brent's, except they don't pop out as much.

"Fuckin' nearly four grams." Brent says, "Dude, look at this shit." He spats, beckoning his friend to come over and look at the baggies on the table. "This is less than fucking half of what we payed for, Liam."

Miki stares hard at the back of the two males, she keeps her eyes fixated on Brent. She feels like she knows him, he looks so familiar. While the two bicker about how much they're out of, Miki looks around the area again, properly this time. It's dirty, everything's dirty. There's dishes left on the surfaces of tables and shelves. There's a yellow film from the amount of smoking that's gone on in here on the walls. The couch looks like they got it from the dump; a brown couch with even more brown on it. She wrinkles her nose. There's no curtains on the windows, there's a television on a TV stand in the corner of the room; it looks like a normal drug user's living room. She does not feel safe here all of a sudden, what the fuck was Felix thinking?

There's clothes thrown around, Miki doesn't know who's they are; or if they even belong to the two adults here, she’s pretty sure she sees women clothing. There's a hall to her right that they were going to go down, she assumes the room she'll be temporary staying is somewhere down here. She returns her gaze to the living room, and the two boys are weighing the contents of the baggies on their scale warily. She notices then, the sheriff outfit that's laid out on the floor in front of the couch, it probably fell off.

It hits her and her eyes widen and she looks at the back of Brent's head incredulously.

No fucking way.

This guy was the sheriff of one of the police stations in Downersgrove, one of the more popular ones.

The main sheriff of their town owns a drug hub.

What the fuck? Miki can’t process this shit right now.

Miki's standing in disbelief as she looks back to the uniform, walking barely a few steps closer to read the name tag: Gidden. Yup, that was the sheriffs name. Brent Gidden. She doesn't remember the sheriff having neon green in his hair though... Miki looks back over to the boy, who's now looking at her. She tenses for a second but then throws him a smirk, tips her head towards the uniform, he follows her indication and then laughs himself.

"Woah, caught me." He puts his hands up, "Don't turn me into the police, pretty please, doll face?" Brent is making his way towards her, and his tone is a mix between somewhat flirtatious and sarcastic. Miki has to bark out a laugh herself,

"Oh no, this is way more interesting."

Liam smirks, his arms crossed as he comes to Brent's side, "This is Felix's girl." and Brent gives a hum of thought, looking Miki up and down. Miki scoffs, leaning her weight onto her right foot.

"I am not his girl. We just do business."

"Same thing, sweetie." Brent says slyly, a knowing tone, she grimaces. "You get to crash in the pad at the end of the hall, don't fucking damage any shit in there, you got me?"

Miki nods, " 'Course not." She turns to look down the hall, and starts to make her way,

"And mind your fucking business." Liam calls out behind her, his tone threatening. Miki throws a thumbs up over her head, dragging her suitcase with her, then deciding to bark back,

"Like-wise."

She opens and shuts the bedroom door behind her. Miki leans against the closed door. After conversing with the two, she isn’t as uncomfortable as she was before. She blinks herself back into focus as she takes in the room. It’s… not as bad as the living room. A shelf that has random items stored on it, a closet with no doors, an extremely dirty bare mattress pushed into the far corner on the floor- no bed frame… or sheets. There’s a dresser with a television on it next to her on her right, but it has a hole the size of a fist through it- so it’s definitely broken. Luckyily for her there’s a half bathroom attached- a toilet and sink. They probably rent this room out for money. Miki has to wonder just what kind of deal Felix made with the two of them to get her to stay here with no charge herself. She chews on her lip.

“Well.” Miki mutters to herself, letting out a sigh, “Time to get settled in I guess.”

 

-

 

Living at this place, did not go as expected. Even though, she doesn’t know what it was that she had been expecting in the first place.

The first night, everything seemed fine. Miki got her room, she just assumed they'd be doing drug deals here. She was wrong, not only did they sell them but they made drugs here. They had their own little set up in one of the rooms; that shit smelt so fucking bad sometimes it was hard for her to sleep. There was an extreme lack of cleanliness, so bugs seemed to love it. There was gnats, there was spiders, there was roaches. Miki's woken up countless times to a roach or two crawling on her body. Since the mattress was on the floor, it was easy for them to get on it. It was grimy.

People did drugs in the apartment, they'd come down in the apartment. The amount of people, the different type of people, that came into this place actually made Miki worried for her safety. At least there was a working lock on the door. It was unreal, it felt like a goddamn fever dream. It had only been a week. Just two days ago Brent actually fucking shot someone. Then turned around and gave the guy to police for drug use. Hypocritical much?

He's the sheriff, he can do whatever he wants. It goes like this: If you don't get him what he payed for, if you don’t do what he says; you're going to jail. Fuck, just staying here had Miki on the edge, what if he turned her in? She's a minor selling drugs, sometimes doing them, and he clearly knows about it with the way he commented at her when she first got here. She’s on edge.

The only good thing that's happened is she hasn't heard from her family. She knows it’s only because she doesn’t have her cell phone. Miki bets that her mother is regretting the decision to take it away from her now, but then she wonders if her parents even know that she didn't go to stay with her grandparents, she wonders if they even care.

Miki learned quickly, that the kitchen isn't communal. She wants to laugh at herself for even thinking it was, this wasn't her house. These weren't her friends, who did Miki think she was? There wasn't much food in the cupboards anyways, but the fridge was stocked with beer, always. She'd take one or two, even when the two males were sitting on the couch; drugged out of their minds, but she saw them look at her open the fridge, and they didn't say anything the first time so she thought she was good.

Miki never knew she was so naive.

 

"Fuck..." Miki breathes out as she brings a hand up to cradle her aching head. It takes a second for her vision to return to normal after skewing sideways. Miki tilts her chin up and blinks at the guy who just knocked her head into the side of the fridge. She didn’t know it was going to get physical.

"Don't take shit that ain't yours!" The guy spits in her face, forcefully grabbing her wrist in a bruising grip as he yanks it up, ripping the can of beer out of Miki's hand, she gasps as pain shoots up and down her arm. He throws her arm back at her which causes her to stumble backwards a bit.

"Don't touch any of our shit, you fucking hear me, little girl?" He gets in her face, cracking open the can and taking a huge mouthful out of it only to spit it all over Miki's face. She splutters, furrowing her eyebrows as she brings her hands up to wipe it away from her eyes. Jesus christ.

"You're here as an errand boy, that's it. That's all you are. Take one more thing from this kitchen and we're dropping your ass out on the street! I don't give a flying fuck what Felix has to say about it, bitch!"

She feels frozen, heart pumping fast.. There’s a feeling of familiar anger bubbling in the pit of her stomach, threatening to crawl out of her throat and attack the man in front of her. It wouldn’t be a smart decision though.

"You fucking understand?!" He shoves her back into the fridge handle, it digs against the knobs of her spine and she gasps out slightly, wincing. That was going to leave a bruise. She knows better than to say anything so she just nods with her teeth grit tight.

"Good." The man straightens himself and grabs her shoulder, pulling and then pushing her out of the kitchen. Miki's brows knit in irritation at being pushed around, "Stupid bitch, you're fucking buying us another six pack." She hears him mutter as he walks into the dirty living room. Miki can feel her phone buzz from her pocket, but it doesn't fully register.

That was Liam. She could smell the drugs and alcohol seeping out from his very being. Miki vaguely wonders if he even comprehends what he did. She knows that they don’t care, clearly, having a policeman on your side gives you certain advantages. Miki doesn’t really know how he expects her to buy them another six pack either, but whatever.

"Asshole." Miki scoffs under her breath as she glares at the back of his head before he rounds the corner. She goes to the room she's crashing in and grabs her red plaid backpack that she had packed into her suitcase. She pulls the black and blue jacket that was sitting under the bag out and throws it on, then slings the bag over her shoulders right after, it’s packed with everything she needs during the day, then looks around for her phone. Most of her time here was spent smoking cigarettes or playing on her phone. Miki fully blames her new addiction on this place, sure she'd smoke one here or there when she lived at home, but now it was everyday. Multiple a day; chain smoking out the clunky window of this run down shit-hole.

Miki rushes to the front door and leaves, not before swiping one of the small baggies off of the dresser that's set up right outside the hallway. Miki smirks as she leaves. She had decided that she'll come here to sleep, that's it. She can find somewhere else to go in the day time. She shuts the door behind her.

 

-

Brooke's been becoming more and more suspicious as the days go on. It's been a little over one week, closer to two, since Miki's been staying there. She's dirty, she's wearing the same pairs of clothes over and over. She doesn’t know what to do about showering. She’s been using a spare shirt to towel herself down in the sink of the adjourned bathroom. Other than that, she’s been putting on tons of deodorant and perfume to try and mask her rank smell. Thank god she packed that kind of stuff, same for her tooth brush. At least her teeth wouldn't suffer. Her hair is starting to get grimy and greasy.

It's not like there isn't a laundry room at the apartment, there is. It’s just that the last time, and only time, Miki went to use it… Liam had slammed the lid down onto her hand and yelled at her about running their water, to go to a laundry mat and waste her own money. Miki isn't actually sure he remembers when these events happen, Liam always reeks of alcohol. The girl doesn’t see Brent a lot, but wonder if he’s as out of it as Liam is. She wonders if he does drugs on the job.

"Miki" Brooke snaps, clapping her hands in the girls face and Miki jolts. She looks up at the girl sitting across from her. "What?" Miki asks confused, she didn't realize she was lost in her thoughts.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" Brooke presses in concern, taking her sandwich out of her lunch box, ripping it in half, and handing one side to Miki- who once again didn’t bring any food. Brooke tries to subtly check to make sure it's the bigger piece that she gives to her friend. It isn’t that much of a shock. Miki's parents never made her lunches, but they did pay for the school ones, so Brooke’s used to Miki not bringing food. They weren’t in school though, so there’s no cafeteria for the girl to get free food from. Miki takes the sandwich slice gratefully and takes a big bite out of it.

"Have you been eating?” Brooke asks when Miki doesn't reply, her eyebrows are knit with concern with makes Miki moves her gaze to stare at the park surrounding them, looking anywhere but Brooke. "Also, this is the third time you've worn that outfit..."

Silence is the reply she gets. Brooke sighs when Miki makes an obvious point to take a bigger bite out of the side of the sandwich to fill her mouth. "Are you even going home?"

Miki's shoulders tense, and that's her dead give away.

"You aren't, are you?"

Miki sets the sandwich down, onto the dirty wooden table which gets her a disgusted look from Brooke, and looks up to meet the other’s worried gaze. The girls dark eyebrows are knit together, her black bangs falling neatly between her expression, her lips are pressed down into a frown. Miki lets her shoulders fall and crosses her arms onto the table, moving the sandwich over to set it on the plastic bag Brooke has in front of her.

"No, I'm staying with Felix." Miki comes up with the lie on the spot, she feels guilty already. Brooke's eyebrows raise in surprise, "Felix?" She asks.

Miki watches Brooke's face intently, it contorts from shock to confusion to disbelief and Miki clicks her tongue, feeling like Brooke knows she’s lying. "Why are you staying with him?"

Brooke pops open her fruit cup and takes her spoon out of the bag she brought, "I ran away." Miki says with dramatics, picking the sandwich back up and shoving it into her mouth to keep it busy. Brooke rolls her eyes at the girl.

"Liar, you didn't. What happened?"

Miki chews her sandwich in a slow manner and then takes three large gulps of her grape soda she bought from the park’s vending machine. Miki swallows even more slowly than she chewed. When she focuses back on Brooke, the girl is giving her an irritated and impatient look.

"You're lying about staying with Felix too."

Miki looks down at the table and brings a hand to pick at frayed pieces of wood.

"And you keep averting your eyes, you do that when you're hiding something."

Miki laughs at being called out by her best friend. Brooke is so sharp, maybe the only person who knows her so well. "I'm just admiring your mothers cooking." She changes the subject and deflects.

Brooke rolls her eyes and scoffs, leaning in over the table to get closer in Miki's face, "Fine, if you wont tell me I'll just have to find out myself."

Miki's heart is racing at Brooke coming into her bubble, which confuses her, so she takes her soda and downs the rest of it while looking over at some family sitting at the barbecues not too far from them. She feels her face heat a little, but Brooke goes moves back down and continues to finish her lunch quietly.

-

 

Over the days during summer, her and Brooke have been meeting up- trying to have lunch with each other at their park a few times a week.

They don’t want to become distant like some friends do once a school break starts. Today has Brooke and her had been sitting at the same bench they always sit on until the sun finally went down. Soon after it’s departure, Brooke got called by her mom on her phone to go home. Which made Miki pout.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Brooke had asked, worry etched onto her face. Miki can see a nervous smile pulling her lips, one of her dimples barely showing. So cute! Her chest flutters with feelings she doesn’t fully understand.

"Yeah, my mom's expecting me home..." Miki just told her with a fake smile while trailing off, she made sure she didn’t avert her gaze, though she felt her nose flaring. Brooke slings her backpack on and walks over- leaning down to give Miki a side hug, "Happy birthday." She says with a warm smile, both dimples pressed into her cheeks and Miki had felt her whole body flush warm, her heart nearly jumped out of her throat. Brooke slipped her hand into the pocket of the hoodie Miki was wearing. All Miki feels is the slight pressure of Brooke's hand nudging her lower stomach through her jacket pocket, which sends a jolt of electricity through her, right before the girl pulls away.

Miki takes a quick breath, “My birthday was a few weeks ago?” She asks- puzzled and disoriented.

"I'll see you tomorrow okay?" Brooke doesn’t answer her question as she adjusts her bag.

Miki closes her mouth nods, eyebrows furrowed as Brooke walks past her. The girl turns around and calls out to the redhead, "Don't stay out too late!"

Miki throws her a thumbs up over her shoulder. “Okay mom!” and she hears a distant laugh in reply. She gives it a few minutes, or maybe it was seconds, before she looks back and Brooke's already further off into the distance, she had turned onto the sidewalk that leads out of the park.

After Brooke was gone she had opened her backpack and fished out the crinkled plastic bottle with no label wrapped on it, uncapped it and took a generous swig. Her nose wrinkles since the liquid is warm, the alcohol burns her throat and nostrils as a shudder runs through Miki's body at it. “Bleh.” She lets out a noise of disgust.

She can still feels Brooke's arms around her, the feeling imprinted through her clothes and onto her skin. Her heart skips and she takes another drink. She realized her feelings for the girl sometime last year, maybe over last summer. Not knowing what to do with them, Miki just buried them and acted like they weren't there. As if she'd fuck up the most important relationship she's ever had with anyone ever, Brooke is her rock. Her best-est friend in the whole entire universe. Her favorite person. Besides, she was pretty sure Brooke didn’t swing that way- even if there’s no solid evidence to back up that thought.

The park is quiet, its empty, and it’s dark. The light posts are spread out, there's not one above where Miki sits and finishes her drink in the dark. She feels pleasantly buzzed, so decides its time to head back to her crash pad. Miki scowls but then he feels her face flush as she starts thinking of the girl's embrace, her lips quirk into a goofy grin. When she stands up something weighs down in her pocket, catching her attention and causing her to pause. Miki knocks her bottle off the table as she pockets her phone, she doesn't pick it up.

Miki reaches into her other pocket and pulls out a small velvety box. Her eyes widen as she remembers the weight of Brooke's hand sliding in during the hug. Miki's hands shake as her fingers pull it open. It's a silver ring. It glistens, catching light from some lamp far in the distance. Miki squints to look at it in the dark, pulling it out of the velvet holder.

It has two stars on it, one bigger and a tiny one next to it. She runs her fingers on it, feeling the cool and smooth metal as her eyes water. There's engraving inside the ring when she runs her finger all over it. She re-pulls her phone out and turns on the flash. Miki holds the ring out, and tilts it to see inside. The engraving is small, Miki has to hold it closer- squinting to read the tiny words,

'you are my shining star'

She feels her heart clench painfully in her chest, the watering of her eyes intensifies as a few tears threaten to slide down her face. She laughs a little, blinking rapidly, a smile pulling her cheeks before she slips it on one of her fingers, it fits perfectly around her right ring finger. The implication of having a ring from her crush on that specific finger gives her butterflies, and she curses herself for being such a big softy.

She stands up with a smile while staring at her hand for a good few minutes before she grabs her bag and slings it on, only on one shoulder. Miki holds her phone out again and takes a picture of her hand with the ring on and sends it to Brooke with the caption: 'I'm in love.'

 

The whole walk back, which isn’t that far- their park is actually only a couple blocks away from the Dorhill neighborhood, Miki keeps her thumb rubbing at the metal that encloses her finger. She keeps a lopsided grin most of the way, that could just be the alcohol talking though. She's so consumed in the ring that she doesn't hear someone following her. She doesn't hear the extra set of footsteps echoing around the small alley she’s in. It’d be easy to sense someone else’s presence, the evening is dead- streets bare. Which is a little odd because this is the time of day that the crazies start crawling out from their caves. Miki hops up some steps to the back entrance of the shitty apartment complex, and it's all so sudden when someone grabs her bicep and yanks her back.

Heart dropping low, Miki yells out a noise, shock, she tries to turn and push the person off but she’s on the floor before she even has the chance to turn around. Her body makes impact with the ground, she gives a thanks to the alcohol for numbing the pain. She blinks and then realizes lost her footing on the bottom step below her. Which she wouldn’t have, if someone didn’t grab her.

"What the fuck Miki!?"

Miki blinks her vision and looks up at the girl looming over her.

"Brooke?" Miki asks the familiar voice, her breathing picking up from the fear that just went through her.

"What the fuck?" Brooke repeats, waving a hand up to the building, then gesturing to the alley way around them with wide, frantic eyes. She looks livid and scared at the same time.

"I knew you were lying, but what the hell is this!?"

Miki frantically shoots up to her feet, stumbling a bit, "I thought you went home." she speaks out fast, bringing her hands up to hold Brooke's shoulders in urgency, "You shouldn't be here, you got to go."

"I've got to go!? What the hell are you doing in this place?” Brooke questions and then she gasps, “Is this where you've been staying?" Brooke's voice raises and Miki hushes her, starts pushing Brooke out of the alley and away from the building, Miki looks back to make sure no one came outside, to make sure no-ones around. She eventually moves to grab Brooke's hand and pulls her along the sidewalks for a while till they're on the outskirts of the neighborhood, only then does Miki feel the tension in her body ease. She doesn’t want Brooke anywhere near this place.

"Well?" Brooke asks once Miki lets go of her hand and their pace turns less frantic.

"I had no where else to go." Miki points out, shoving her hands into her pockets, playing with the empty velvet box. Brooke scoffs from behind her, her expression turning mad- not that Miki can see it;

"Hello?!" Brooke’s voice cracks on a yell and Miki turns her head around with wide eyes at the sudden loud tone, "I'm right here. Why didn't you come to me?" Her tone of voice is taught, it comes out almost broken and it makes Miki’s chest hurt and her nose sting. She’s hurting Brooke’s feelings- no- she hurt them. Miki feels like an asshole.

Miki turns back around and away from the hurt expression Brooke is displaying and narrows her eyes down at the ground in front of her. "Why are you doing this, Miki?" Brooke asks and puts a hand on Miki's shoulder, Miki shrugs it off.

"I'm doing what I have to."

Which is such a lie and the words make no sense. Miki turns around, all but stomping as she passes Brooke- stopping right behind her to say, "Go home Brooke. Go. Home. This isn't a place for you." then continues on, leaving Brooke to turn around in her spot and stare at the back of retreating Miki's head.

“It isn’t a place for you either!”

Miki ignores her, gritting her teeth and pulling in on herself as she picks up her pace.

"I'm not letting you stay there!" Brooke yells out and Miki hunches her shoulders up to her ears, "I'm not!"

"GO HOME!" Miki barks out over her shoulder, walking away faster, she checks behind her to make sure Brooke isn't following. She isn’t. It's quiet after that. Miki climbs the fire escape up to the window of her room and climbs in- since the window was broken and the lock didn’t work, her elbows land roughly on the disgusting floor as she pulls herself in. She grunts in irritation, and flops onto her back to rip off her shoes. Miki doesn't bother closing the window as she drags her body onto the disgusting mattress and buries her head into one of the hoodies that used to be Brooke's, which was left at her house the last time they had a sleep over- on her birthday. She's been using the hoodie as a pillow.

 

She fell into a restless slumber rather quickly from the alcohol, which she was sure had worn off. It was probably only around ten at night when she passed out, but she had slept in until almost noon. It's the sound of a female’s voice that wakes her up. It wasn't the sound of druggies, it wasn't the sound of a trade gone wrong or a gunfight. The voice was familiar, she hears Brent say something back; just the deep murmur of his voice is all she can get- unable to make out actual words. It goes quiet and then there’s footsteps coming down the hall. All the way down to the room she’s inside of, there's bangs on the door.

"Miki!"

It's Brooke's voice, what the fuck is Brooke doing here? Panic shoots through her entire body.

"So help me Miki, if I need to call your parents and get them involved, I will." And that's the motherly voice of Karen Kelly. Miki jolts up from the mattress, she looks around the room frantically. She has no idea what she’s supposed to do. What is she supposed to do!?

All she can think is what the fuck are they doing here!? Over and over. Then the events of last night play out in her head and Miki curses under her breath.

God damn it Brooke. Why did you have to go and get involved!?