Today I decided to take a walk around the city. I wasn't really leaving home much these days, but I was feeling quite well today, so I thought it would be a good change of pace.
It was a nice experience, people were being even kinder than usual, giving me their prayers, hoping for the best for me... It was a bit overwhelming, but not in a bad way.
Until I met one familiar face that I did not expect to see here that is. I considered ignoring her, but she had noticed me too, so it would be a bit awkward to leave without saying anything, "Oh, hi Erdatiel-san, it has been a while." I told her.
She seemed to be about as troubled about it as me, "Hi Hikari... Are you... Doing well?" She asked.
"Ah, yes... We're particularly healthy today." I told her, and tried to give a smile, but it was probably a bit too obvious that it was forced.
"Oh... That's... That's good alright." She replied...
And then the conversation went silent... I really should have tried to ignore her...
"I-I think I have to-" I tried saying, but she cut me off.
"Say, can we have a talk? Like, a proper talk?" She asked.
It seemed troublesome, but... I suppose it might be better to actually have it, "Sure." I replied... Might have been too blunt, I should have said this differently...
She sighed, I did not know if it was of tiredness or relief, but she held my hand and said, "Follow me."
We walked for a while all the way to the teleporters, and then we used it to go to the Frontier Village, from then we walked a bit more, until we reached a small secluded hill, that had a nice view to it... I would have been fine with walking around like this usually, but it was honestly a bit too much for me right now, I wish she had just chosen a cafe in Aeternus instead... At least the view was nice and we had some privacy now, I suppose. Though I'm not looking forward to the walk back.
We sat down next to each other and remained silent. We both knew what to talk about, but neither knew how to start... I really should say something, shouldn't I? "I, well..."
"Can we like, just treat each other normally?" She said as I started trying to say something. "I mean, what happened between you and Shadow was your thing, we really don't need to keep this awkward mood each time we meet now, do we?"
It's not like she had no point, "But... Well, are you fine with it? I mean..."
"Yes! I am. Absolutely." She cut me off again... She seems to like doing that.
"... Even if I'll bear the child of your husband?" I asked her.
"I just said so, didn't I? It's fine... Seriously, you worry too much." She said as she ruffled my hair a bit. I didn't dislike it.
"Well... I guess? It's just... You met him first, you were in a relationship, you were in love, and I just... Popped out of nowhere, got married to him in a week, took his first time away from you, and then broke up with him a few months later while bearing his child... While you hadn't even had your own marriage ceremony with him yet...
"How can you be fine with all that? I just... Don't understand. I wouldn't be fine on your place for sure..." I told her... I could feel some tears welling up on my eyes... I don't like this topic...
She sighed, "It's not like it doesn't bother me at all, you know? But... I just accepted it? I told you when the two of you married, I was fine with it, and still am.
"Sure, I was looking forward to being his wife together with you, and having you break his heart like that was like... Well, horrible, but... Hey, you're gonna be a mother now. And my husband is going to be a father... Can't we just celebrate it instead of being like this? We'll probably meet each other a lot more after the child is born after all. It wouldn't be good to create an awkward mood each time your child saw their father's spouse, right?" Dear gods... What am amazing person she is.
I felt tears dropping on my belly. I wonder if the baby can feel them... "Okay." I told her... "Let's... Try to be friends... Da-chan?"
She opened her eyes wide, "Da... Da-chan?"
"Yeah, uhn... Erdatiel is just too long, so... Da-chan." I replied, it was a bit hard to reply, the tears were not stopping... Why was I even crying this much?
She hugged me and let me bury my face in her chest, I did not resist. She gently caressed my back as she said, "Alright then, I guess I'm Da-chan then." She giggled.
I nodded a bit, but didn't say anything else, I just... Let the tears flow for a while, until they eventually stopped, until I started sobbing.
I pulled back a bit, and she let go of the hug when I did, "Sorry for that..." I told her.
She shook her head, "It's alright... You calmed down a bit?" I nodded in response.
And then, things went quiet again...
"You know-" And unsurprisingly, she cut me one more time.
"I think that has been our longest conversation so far, hasn't it?" She asked me.
"Y-yeah... I mean... I always thought you didn't want to talk to me much, you know?" I told her.
"Me!? Weren't we fine at his funeral though!?" She replied.
She's going to bring up that!? "B-but that was before you knew I was in love with him! And I barely saw you after I married him as well, and like... I told him more than a few times that I wanted to talk more to you, yet we never met at all!"
"You told him that!? I... Told him the same thing... I thought you were the one avoiding me..." Da-chan said.
"... That moron." I grumbled.
"You don't need to badmouth my husband now, do you?" She asked.
"You disagree?" I asked back.
"Well... No." She held my head and pulled it closer to her, letting me lie on her lap, "But you know how busy he was, he probably didn't find the right opportunity to tell us."
"I think he had more than enough, but was just making some grand plan about we having a lovely family trip on board his airship as we sailed the skies above the most beautiful places of the world... Stupid moron." I grumbled again...
"Well, that would be just like him... But didn't the insult just get worse!? You shouldn't talk like that, you'll be a bad influence to the child!" So that's the problem Da-chan has with it? Well, I'm glad she is worried about it though.
"You're right... I'll be more careful." I said and rubbed my belly a bit, "I'm looking forward to it, you know? Giving birth, being a mother... I wonder when I started longing for it... Maybe I just... Wanted a family member that I could care for... That I could protect and give all my love to... That I would make sure to not lose again..." I felt the tears welling up once more...
She gently caressed my hair and said, "It's alright... It's okay... Your family is strong... You won't lose them. They'll protect you," stop it... "they'll protect us," please stop... "and they'll be there to welcome you home... They're pretty much invincible, aren't they?"
I cried. I cried without holding back... I cried and cried and cried... Da-chan was confused, she apologized, she was worried that she said something wrong, and kept telling me that it was alright... Yet I kept on crying, I could not stop crying... It hurt too much.
Until... The tears did calm down that is. It eventually just... Runs dry, I suppose. "Nobody is invincible, Da-chan... Nobody." I told her in-between sobs.
"I see... I'm sorry, I said something out of the line." She apologized... It was not her fault... I understood that much, it was just... Hard to not think of it.
I forced myself to sit down again, wipe my tears, and then to try giving her a smile, "It's alright, I just... Have my own past.
"But you know... I also don't think that I'll lose my family. I don't think they'll lose, I don't think they'll leave me... I just... Wish we could stop all this. All this fighting, all this guild thing, all this killing... I wish we could just be a... A 'normal' family, I guess. Me, Mama, Onee-chan, mommy, and my child... A wonderful family of five... Living in peace without any worries whatsoever... It would be nice, wouldn't it?"
She looked up before replying, "It would... It would certainly be nice if Shadow gave up on all that guildmaster stuff and just spent more time with his own family." Why him again...? "But you know... Those are his responsibilities. It's his duty, it's what he must do to ensure that everyone in the city will be able to leave peacefully, and to raise their children without worries... Just like what you want.
"And your family is the same, I think. They are risking their lives for you. So as to keep you safe, and to let your child grow up in a healthy environment, as opposed to growing as a refugee of war... That's a good thing, isn't it?"
"... It is." I rubbed my belly a bit, "It absolutely is... But... I can't help it. I can't help wishing for more... Wishing for them to be with me... To always be with me...
"I have... Had enough funerals for a lifetime." I gave her a week smile, "I hope I don't have to be at my moms' funeral as well."
Da-chan ruffled my hair, "Yeah, I hope so too." And then gave me a warm smile.
... Once again, we went silent. Though this time, things didn't feel awkward for a change.
"You know-" Aaaaand, cut.
"Hikari. This was nice." She told me.
"... It was. It was indeed. I'm glad to have been able to talk to you properly, Da-chan." I said honestly.
"Let's do this more times." She gave me the best smile I had ever seen her give, "I want to know more, about the woman that stole my husband's heart in a single week, and who will give birth to his firstborn child."
She had to end it like that...? "Sure. Let's talk more, I look forward to getting to know you proper." And then, I finally gave her a proper smile, one from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks for chapter