S, the girl, and I stepped through the hole I created to the inn. I decided to warp us into my room, because creating a hole in the restaurant would probably cause a bit of a ruckus. 

"So... uh... what's the dealllllio..." I say, both to S and the girl.

"How did you do that? You don't scare me!" The girl says.

"I-im not trying to scare you. Are you injured, at all? Can you move?"

"I can move just fine!" 

"WELL THEN WHAT'S THE HOLD UP?!" S says, obviously a little peeved.

"S. Chill. They're a child." I say.

The girl starts to cry. 

"Crap! Sorry!" S says in desperation. 

Ah crap. What do I do in this situation? I notice that S is panicking, too. Ok, think back... Home Ec class! Hazzah! My knowledge of past my past life has prepared me for any situation! Okay, wrap her in a towel and put her in the fridge... wait, no, don't do that. Crap! What did that class actually teach? Uh, uh...

Out of panic, my brain reverts back to what I learned on Sunday morning public broadcast cartoons I watched when I was her age. The best way to console a crying person is to hug them, according to small dinosaurs and hand puppets!

Next thing I knew, I was kneeling and hugging a strange child while they were bawling into my shoulder. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH FRICK FRICK WHAT DO I DO NOW.  

I must look rather silly, because S beings to snicker. Now's not the time for that! This is serious! 

"Tannie boy is meanie!" The girl says, still crying. 

"Tannie boy!?" S says. 

"I agree." I concur.

"Why am I being ganged up on!" S says. 

We all just sat there yelling at each other for a while. It was a very weird afternoon. We must have been pretty loud, because the lady in the restaurant (I still don't know her name, do I?) ended up coming in the room to check what was going on.

"What's going on up here? I didn't see you guys come i- whyyyyyy do you have a child."

I attempt to shrug. It's a little hard, because one of my shoulders is currently being used as a tissue, and my face being the way it is, it's hard to look confused, so basically I just have 1 arm up awkwardly amidst the chaos. I shoot S a look, hoping he can pick up the slack.

"Okokok, I got this" S begins "So, we were going shopping after some jobs, ended up being in a dark alley, saw a little girl getting mugged, saved her VERY heroically, she wouldn't stop talking about some rod or something, then things got kinda weird, so now we're here."

"I'm pretty sure that's kidnapping... and how did you even get in here?" she counters.

"Window." I say, thinking quickly. Nice.

"The boy with evil eyes put a hole in the sky!" spoke the child, beginning to recover from her tantrum. 

Evil? That's - WAIT, NOT IMPORANT. "No, no, see, A window looks a lot like a hole in the sky." I explain.

..."The windows are closed, and locked." the lady counters again.

"Uh... Shoot. I suppose they are." Looking over, yeah, indeed they are. 

"WHAT DO WE DO WITH THE CHILD?!" S shouts, changing the subject. Nice, S!

"Have you tried... feeding it?" She says.

"Food! Excellent idea! Quick, order something sweet, put it on my tab!" S says "And FAST!"

"You know we don't do tabs here but I think I can make an exception in this case!" Says the lady, running out of the room. 

But what to do in the mean time? Okay, some of my Home Ec class knowledge has come back to me at this point. Put them at eye level... Or was that liquid measuring cups? No time for this! I lift her up on the bed now that she's mostly done crying at this point.

I kneel down and look at her in the eye. This is supposed to establish an equal relationship... I think. 

"So... can you tell me what's going on? What's your name?" I say in the softest voice I can.

"P-papa said I can't let anyone have the rod!"

"Can I ask what the rod is? And where's your papa now?"

"It's very important! And papa is at home!"

"Why were you alone in the city?" 

"I wanted to go shopping all by myself!" She said, laughing a bit. Okay, so she wanted to run errands. That's normal for a kid her age.  Laughing is good, I think it shows she doesn't see me as a threat. Wait, wasn't she bleeding earlier? AAAH CRAP HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THAT I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON OH G.

"Is your arm alright? Where is your home? I can take you there, if you like."

"It's all good! Look, see!" She showed me her arm, and it was like there was never a wound to begin with. Odd. "And I can't tell you where my home is!"

"What? Why not?" 

"I can't tell you! Papa said!" 

"W-well can you tell anyone?"

"I think I'm s'possed to go to the captain of the guard!" 

"That far up!?" S chimes in "Just how protective is your father!"

At this point, the lady bursts back into the room with what appears to be some sort of cake-like sweet. Is that angel food? Ahhhh I'm so jealous! She sets the tray down onto the bed by the child. The three of us just stare at the bed for a while. Lots of awkward staring today, isn't there?

"Papa says not to accept food from strangers!"

The three of us slump over in defeat. Wait a minute... this is a bit of a stretch, but if I play my cards right...

"Would it be okay if someone else took a bite out of it first?" I ask, full of purpose. I notice that S also perks up at this. He seems to understand the true meaning behind my words. 

"Uh... why?" she asked, confused.

"Cus, then you'll now it's not poisoned."

"What's poison? Papa says strangers food is made of invisible spiders!"

 Such lengths! As someone with hundreds of hours in pet simulation games, I have to empathize and respect her fathers dedication to protecting his daughter. 

While I'm thinking about all this, S interjects "Well, I guess someone's gotta eat it!" He then began to chow down. Dangit! That was my plan! Well, I guess he did pay for it... I'll just buy myself one later.

Defeated, I refocus on the issue at hand "Alright, lets just get you to the guardhouse, o-okay?" 

"Papa says I shouldn't follow strangers! I'm staying right here!" The girl says, pouting angrily. 

HOW IRRITATING! She can't tell us who her parents are, she can't tell us where she lives, and now we cant even see her to the guard house because of all these rules! Though, most of them seem pretty reasonable, so its hard to actually blame anyone... What are we supposed to do in this situation?! Wait... I've got it! 

"S, do you know where the guardhouse is?"

"Yeah, I go there all the time. Why?"

"Take me there!" I shout. Then I turn to the lady, "And you stay with the kid!" She nods hastily in response.

"Right, got it!" S responds, and we both run out of the room, down the stairs, out of the restaurant area, and into the streets. He quickly led me down several streets, and eventually to the guardhouse. It looked just like any other building, but had a huge flashy golden shield emblem on it. Pretty cool. 

I quickly ran inside and surveyed the area. There weren't that many people in there, but the people who were looked at me suspiciously. I ignore the presence of people, and took note of everything in the building. There's a desk, and behind that desk a door leading further in. It's closed, though. Other than that it's just boxes, presumably of spare equipment, and benches, presumably for guards on standby. That's all the info I need. I run out of the guardhouse, and into the a convenient alley with no one in it. I quickly create a hole here and a hole in S's room, and just like that we're back in the inn.

We burst through the door to my room, much to the surprise of the girls. 

"Oh, that was fast!" The lady says.

"Quick, I'll order another one of those cake thingies." I say, handing her some coins. 

"Oh- right!" she says, quickly exiting the room. This wasn't all that important to the plan, but having her out of the room would save some explanation, and I really want that cake at this point.

I quickly create a hole on the wall behind the desk back in the guardhouse. I make it real small so that hopefully nobody can see it, but it should be enough for a little person to fit through. Then, I create another right below where the kid is sitting. She falls through, and hopefully lands behind the desk at the guardhouse. 

I quickly recreate the guardhouse hole, and this time put it on the ceiling. I then dive into the bed hole, but not before shouting "I'll be back in a sec, don't steal the cake!" 

Next thing I know, I'm falling from the ceiling of the guardhouse. Thinking about it, this plan was really poorly made, a lot of unnecessary steps. There's no way no one would question this. Maybe if I talk fast enough people just wont think about it that hard? 

My train of thought is halted by me hitting the cold, hard floor of the guardhouse. As I stand up, I realize the looks I'm getting are even weirder. I now notice that the guards are all wearing blue leather armor and all carry a sword or a mace, and a shield. All of which have the cool looking emblem on it. Nice aesthetic! Anyways, the child!

"There's a child behind your desk! Please bring the captain of the guard to her!" I shout, pointing at the guard manning the desk.

They all look rather confused, but the one at the desk turns around and, sure enough, the child is there, just sitting on the ground looking confused. 

"T-the captain of the guard?!" the man behind the counter spoke rather sternly, "Do you have any idea how busy he is? He has no time to waste on a chil-" He's interrupted by the door being slammed open by a large, buff, very messily shaven guy, wearing similar equipment to all the other guards, but his armor had some chain and his shield has gold bits in it. Kinda ruins the aesthetic, but screams authority. 

"I'm back, maggots! What's all the commotion about in 'ere?" he said with a very loud and gruff voice.

"Uncle!" The child happily shouted, running out from behind the desk with her arms outstretched out towards the loud man. 

"Amelia? What are you doing here!?" The man said, this time in a more friendly tone, lifting and hugging the girl.

"Are you the captain of the guard?" I ask the man, in a hurry.

He seemed a little surprised. "Why yes, of course, and who ar-" he began.

"Great, my jobs done. Later." I said quickly, pushing past the captain and running straight to the nearest conveniently empty alley. I've no time to chit chat, I have snacks waiting for me! 

Soon, I am once again in my room at the inn. I shoot S and thumbs up sign, and he smiles and returns one. Immediately after, as if by magic, the cake arrives. My just reward.

"Oh, w-where's the kid?" the lady asked, carrying the cake.

"Guardhouse" S and I say in unison. 

..."right" she says in response, handing me the cake. She seems to not want to think about this situation too much. I can hardly blame her.

"Thanks!" I shout before digging in to the cake. It's wonderful. 

"Oh, and S, I'll add the other cake to the next meal you order!" she says before leaving.

"Right, thanks for your help!"

"S-sorry for troubling you!" I say in between mouthfuls. 

"Oh, it's no problem, just be a little more careful in the future, alright?" 

"Right, s-sorry!" S and I say in unison once more. 

Well, despite everything that happened, we successfully saved that odd child with little to no disasters happening, so I'd say that was a successful mission! 

"So... we still getting equipment after this?" S asks.

"Yeah, for sure."

After this cake, obviously.