You ever try to help someone with something, and, like, you're really sincerely trying to help, you're about as excited as they are, and everything seems to be going peachy, all ducks are in a row, every chicken counted, it's perfect. But, at the very last possible moment, it all crashes and burns down around you? And there's little anyone can really do about it? You just kinda look at the other guy, the bitter taste of defeat washing over as the fires only burn ever brighter? Is there a more awkward situation? 

Anyways, Zramazos, Sis, and I were standing a little ways away from the house, so we weren't awkwardly crowding around the door like those weird kids in school who would always talk too loud and have 0 spatial awareness and just block the door for ages so you gotta sidle around them all awkwardly. Hate that. 

"So, uh... what were you doing there?" For convenience, I asked the exact same question again. 

Zramazos seemed quite embarrassed about this whole affair. And, in fairness, as was I. "W-well, I was, uh, j-just, s-so, I-I was out, in the, uh, flowers-" He pointed over to a wild flower patch I didn't notice before. They were purple, and, simply put, they looked like something straight out of a child's drawing. Actually, I couldn't help but notice that Sis was looking at that patch of flowers a little strangely, as if they were familiar to her, though she didn't say anything. Anyways, Zramazos continued, "A-and then I-I heard a, uh, v-voices comin' from your place, b-but I didn't see anyone come in, s-so I just, uh, uhm..." Geez, this guy sure mutters a lot. "Uh, a-actually, w-when did you guys get in there? C-cus', I've been out here for a while..."

"Oh yeah, this guy's been asleep all day, and I just got back from fishing way down there. I went in through the back, you must've just not seen me." Sis lied at still surprising efficiency. 

"O-oh. That makes sense." Zramazos said. "I-is the top floor furnished?" 

"Nah, but we've been using sleeping bag- er, bedrolls. Inns are good and all, but nothing like sleeping on your own turf, y'know?" She added. Ooh, nice, using the thing we thought of earlier. 

"O-oh, yeah, t-that makes sense..." Zramazos conceded. Now, he could probably ask around and disprove all that, but I really don't think that's anything to worry about.  "...S-sorry, uh, creeping 'n stuff... I'm, uh, k-kinda stupid." He said, getting even redder.

"N-nah, that was a reasonable thing to do. Probably." I said, not confident in my assertion. I mean, it sounds pretty dumb, but, strangely, I get the feeling that I'd probably do the same thing. Not sure why, but I feel an odd sense of kinship with this guy. Wonder why that could be? "What were you doing with the flowers, anyway?" I asked. 

His face grew redder still. "O-oh, I-I was just, uhm, c-collecting them. For, uh... F-fun?" He explained.

Sis and I looked at him skeptically. It wasn't long before Zramazos's face was nearly indistinguishable from a tomato.  

Hmmm... Wait a minute, could this be? A beautiful, golden opportunity? 

"Are you perhaps... Collecting them for someone?" I asked, leaning in a bit. 

"Wh- uh, whuh? Eh, uh-"

"Is it perhaps... For..." I could feel a devilish grin growing on my face. "...Chharrrooolllleettteee?" 

". . ." Zramazos stared down at the grass.

That gave me all the information I needed. "Y'know, if that were the case, hypothetically... I'd be happy to help you." I said. 

". . ."

Zramazos peeked upward, back at me. "Really?"

I nodded, put my hand on his shoulder, and shot him a thumbs up, like a cartoon character. 

This is it. The good stuff. Finally, I have the chance to meddle in the affairs of love of people I barely know! I've always dreamed of doing this. This is probably the closest feeling one can get to godhood, I think. 

"I get the feeling that something really stupid's about to happen..." Sis said.

"Probably." I said, putting my hood up. 

---

The next, well, I, uh, don't really know how long, but, uh, well, it was weird. Kinda weird. Well, nothing super strange happened, but I don't really, uhm, okay. Uh, The kid with the eyes, uhm, Beyes, I think, and his... Sister? I-I'm not sure, ah, shoot, I didn't get her name, did I? Uh, regardless, the two of them helped me come up with a plan to talk to Charolette. W-well, I talk to Charolette all the time, but we never, ya know, 'talk.' N-not that I've never tried, but, well, every time I do, I just sort of... And then... It usually just ends up with me helping her with one of her projects or something. I'm not very good at this... Not that I mind helping, of course, it's actually quite fun... 

Uh, actually, it was mostly Beyes that came up with the plan. I wasn't much help, and the girl just sorta spaced out for a while. Occasionally she spouted some quip or asked for clarification on something or sometimes chuckled. But, yeah, other than that, just... Staring. She kind of scares me, actually, which might sound weird since I'm, I think, twice her age, but uh, actually that made it scarier. It's that piercing stare that gets me.

Well, the boy had that stare, too, but he was, well, he was very, well, sociable, I think. Which made him less scary. (Though, I did find it a bit odd how he had his hood up the whole time.) Actually, it was a little odd, uh, completely different from the other times I've talked to him. I thought he was more, uhm, well, reserved, and apathetic, though he has shown some odd mannerisms, like jumping off roofs and having weird reactions to pizza, and that thing with the coal-drink, I think. But, uh, here, he was like a completely different person. All excited, and his words seemed to flow well and stuff. Though, none of that excitement showed on his face. It was kind of distracting, actually. He just kept that stare... But, uh, I could still tell he was excited. I think. I-I guess I can't really tell... Anyways, it was fun, just sitting there talking with them. We don't get new people in town much, so, uh, it was pretty refreshing. 

Uh, yeah, anyways, he spoke really good, and we got a plan down pretty quickly. Actually, I got this strange feeling that he'd planned this for a while, or something, but, uh, that obviously can't be the case. Just a silly idea. And his plan was actually quite good. I was a little worried about going along with the plan of someone who's a good couple years younger than me, but, well, he seemed trustworthy. 

And it, well, the plan seemed pretty fool-proof. Though, uh, there were a couple things I didn't really quite understand. But, uh, for the most part, the plan was quite simple. I invite her out to a picnic for dinner, out here in the fields. He said this was a good spot because it was far enough away from the town that we would be alone, but close enough that if someone needed to retreat, they could, and it would keep things from getting uncomfortable. I was glad Beyes took Charolette's feelings into account. I'd hate it if I inconvenienced her or made her feel unsafe... Though, I will do everything in my power to make sure there's no need for anyone to retreat. But, uh, if there's a bear, or something, well, not much I can do about that. I'll be grateful the town's nearby. Ooh man, maybe I should bring Michaus along... No, we've gotta be alone for this! 

Uh, after that, we're supposed to eat and talk about stuff, and then we'd watch the sunset together and... Well, Beyes stopped explaining at that point. Not really sure what to do after that, but he insisted I'd figure it out. He was quite confident in that.

But, uh, there are some things that I am concerned about, other than the ending. Mainly, the uh, preparation. He just said that he'd take care of everything, that he'd prepare this top shelf dinner, a fancy blanket, and even nice clothes for me, after I told him I didn't have anything to wear. He didn't, uh, tell me how he was going to get all this so quickly, but he insisted that he could. He told me to trust him. And, well, I do. I don't know why, but... Well, I have nothing to lose, right? Oh man, please don't make me look like a fool... 

Uh, actually, in an effort of not making me look like a fool, we came up with several contingency plans. First, if I find myself unable to actually ask Charolette, Beyes and the girl will swoop in and help me, which is reassuring, I think that's gonna be the hardest part. Second, if there's bugs or pests at the site, Beyes said he'd supply me with a bunch of sprays and stuff. He thinks it'll make me look prepared and capable, which is, well, everything I'm not, but, it, uh, sounds good. But the most important plan was the one for if Michaus shows up. I'm supposed to tell him that a boar ran into Beyes's house. I'd feel bad about lying to him, but he'd ask questions if I said anything else, so... Oh, and, uh, Beyes said he and the girl will be hiding out there, so they could explain the situation to him. 

Oh, and the last plan we came up with was that, if Charolette is busy today, we'll simply ask again another day. 

If I ever had to admit how long it took us to come up that solution, I'd probably die of embarrassment. Beyes's sister seemed to find it pretty funny, though. 

Uh, anyways, Beyes said we should execute the first part of the plan, the invite, obviously, probably around sometime after lunch, because, as Beyes explained, if we do it too early, there's a chance she'll just suggest lunch, which would ruin the whole timing, and if we do it too late, she might have other plans, plus it's just kinda rude to drop something like this on someone last minute, I think.

So, we had some extra time before we had to act. Beyes said he'd treat me to lunch. I was going to tell him that wasn't necessary, but he insisted, saying "I'll be back in, like, 5-10ish minutes." as he ran to his house "Also, don't follow me."

I did as requested, and the girl and I sat there on the grass, mostly in silence for a while. It was, uh, a little awkward. I thought about striking up a conversation, but... Nah.

Uh, after about 5ish minutes probably, Beyes came back out with 2 long, rod shaped things, wrapped in paper. He revealed them to be really long sandwiches of some kind. City food, I think. I guess he just... Had those lying around? And why did he only grab 2? What about the g-

"Oh, and I ate before I woke this guy up." The girl said, as if reading my mind, and gesturing over to Beyes.

"I-I see." Ah, that makes sense. "T-thanks for treating me by the w-way." I said to Beyes.

"Don't mention it. Truth is, I'm glad you're letting me do all this. I'd have been pretty friggin' bored, otherwise." Beyes said.

"O-oh, r-right, Michaus did mention that y-your friend i-is out this week. G-guess you're just killing time till the week ends, huh?" I said.

 Beyes paused for a bit after I said that. Oh, crap, did I say something bad, uh, oh man,

"H-hey... Hypothetically..." Beyes began. Ahh, never a good sign when someone starts a sentence like that. "I-if something bad were to happen in the next, say, 1-3 days... W-would you have a place you could hide?"

The girl slapped her palm to her forehead as he said this.

See? "U-uh... Y-yeah." I figure I could hole up in the house pretty easily, move some old furniture around. Or I could just hide behind Michaus. "W-why?" 

"N-no reason. Just, uh, always good to be prepared." He explained.

"R-right..." W-well, that's rather concerning, isn't it? W-well, our town's pretty uneventful, so I-I can't be too worried. Plus...

You'd have to be really, really stupid to attack our town.

A-anyways, with that in mind, we ate the sandwiches, and things mostly returned to as they were previously. The sandwiches were kind of odd. They were good, mostly, but the bread was a little stale... And the lettuce was a little... Wet? And the meat wasn't exactly the freshest... Well, that's city food for ya.

We continued discussing our plan. And, eventually, after some time had past, we (mostly Beyes) decided it was after lunch enough, and we began finalizing our plans, getting ready to set everything into motion.

"Hmm, alright, first," Beyes began. "I'll hold on to those flowers you were grabbing earlier. You're gonna wanna save those for the date." 

D-date? I could feel my heart beat getting faster. "O-oh, r-right." I said, handing them over to him.

"Alright, next we gotta make sure you're presentable." Beyes said. He stepped closer, and began sniffing around me, which was very awkward! "Ah, crap these flowers are too pungent. Sis, can you hold these for a sec?" He said, handing the girl the flowers. 

"Uhuh." She said. She looked at them a little strangely as she grabbed them. "...could they be related to some kinda fish?" I think I heard her mutter as she looked at them.

Beyes began sniffing again. "Hm. Ah that's better. Now, one sec." He said, after a moment. He stepped back, and pulled out a blue spray can. Oh, I think I've seen Michaus carrying those around. What's he-

Next thing I knew, my eyes were covered by a wall of baby blue bubbles. "Ah, what the-" quickly, I could see again, and there was a small puddle of moisture at me feet. I felt quite clean, though.

"There we go, now you're presentable." Beyes said. "Well, you ready to go?"

A-alright. E-everything's in place. Just gotta go and ask Charolette out. Just gotta... Oooh, man...

My heart began beating even faster. "I-I dunno i-if I can do this, I-I mean, whuh..." I said. Oh man oh man oh man oh man...

"Dude, relax." Beyes reassured. "You're just asking her to dinner. Worst she can say is no."

The girl chuckled. "Well, that's not true, I've seen this go way, way worse. And I sh- heh." She began, but was promptly interrupted by Beyes forcefully tapping on the back of her head. Which she laughed at, for some reason. Man this girl is scary! 

"D-don't worry about it." Beyes said. "You'll be fine. Plus, you're town's got, like, not even a dozen people in it, it's not like you've got any competition." 

"W-well, C-Charolette hasn't lived here full time for all that long, i-its entirely possible she's already..." I said. 

"C'mon, don't you think you'd know that if that were the case? Wouldn't they at least, like, come to visit?" 

"W-well, I suppose that's true..." If it were me, I'd make sure to visit her every week, no, every day. U-unless she was busy, then I-I guess I'd not, but, uh...

"Anyways, you've got this. And we'll be there to back up." Beyes reassured. "And if you don't, we try again another day. And if you really don't, well, I'll treat you to dinner myself." He said, giving me a thumbs up again. Well, that's some small comfort, at least, though I get the feeling I wouldn't be too happy about it...

After I got my nerves in check, at least a little bit, we made our way back towards town. It was a little unreal, really. My heart was all out of wack and every step felt like a journey. The world seemed to fade in and out of relevance with each movement. It was freaky stuff.

But, I was finally gonna do it. I've dreamed about doing this for, well, forever, but, now I can finally... Oh man oh man... 

After either 30 seconds or a year, we made it back to town. Charolette was out and about, walking around town for some reason, seemingly looking for something. 

"Alright, we'll hang out here. We'll be watching from here, we'll back you up if you need help." Beyes said, as him and the girl took up residence in a nearby conveniently sized bush.

"Y-yeahuh..." I said. 

Ok. Okay... Deep breaths. Deep breaths. You can do this. You can do this. You might be able to do this. You should be able to do this. You can theoretically do this. You are physically capable of doing this. You-

"Go." I heard a whisper from the bushes. 

"O-okay." I said, and my legs began moving my body forward, towards Charolette. 

After what was either a second or an eternity, I was within talking distance of her. Oh man oh man, the blue sky complements her hair so well...

"Uh, h-hey, Charolette." Words came out of my mouth, somehow.

Charolette turned over to me. "Oh, hey Zramazos. Say, have you seen B-" She began, though I could barely comprehend the words she was saying, in my current state. "Woah, are you okay, dude? You don't look so good. You got a fever?" 

"Uhuhuhuh what? No, yeah, I-I'm fine." Words came out of my mouth again. "S-say, uh, dinner, are you b-b-b-b-b-b-b" Words did not come out my mouth, this time.

 "Are you sure you're okay? Blink twice if you need me to carry you to the church." Charolette said. 

"hbhdhbhahbjdhabhhb"

"Oh, heyyyyy fellas." Beyes miraculously appeared out of nowhere, like a friggin' angel descending from the heavens in my time of most dire need. "What are you guys... Doin?"

"O-oh hey, B-Beyes." Charolette said, turning over to him. Man oh man, her voice is so...

Wait a sec, did she just stutter twice in one sentence? Isn't that supposed to be our gimmick? And, she doesn't usually do that!

"A-actually, B-Beyes," She continued. 

Wait, wait, what? Is...

Is she blushing? Putting aside how cute she looks, she's blushing- 

At- At- At- 

H-

"T-there's something I-I've been m-meaning to ask you. D-Do y-you think we c-could talk real q-quick? S-somewhere... Alone?" Charolette concluded.

Eh-

Eh?

Eh!?

I'm sure of it this time. We all stood there, perfectly still, for an eternity. Nothing moved, not even a blade of grass, not even the smallest of fleas. Nothing made a sound, not even the wind. Not the rivers, not any human, not any animal, not even he world itself did anything. For an eternity.

And then a random gust of wind knocked Beyes's hood down.

And I could see that we were both standing there, our jaws hanging wide, wide open.