Eh? 

Eh?

Eh!?

I peeked over at Zramazos, who was standing there, stunned, with his mouth agape. I was probably doing the same thing, actually. Sis didn't seem to care much. Seemed a little distracted, actually, kinda just staring at her pocket where the flowers were sticking out. Man, those things smell. At least they smell good. 

Wait, no, that's not important!

Eh!?

Okay, now that I'm flustered and confused again, I can calm down, and focus. 

Whew, okay. Now, I've seen enough cartoons to know what this body language typically means. Stuttering, blushing, wanting to be alone with other person, y'know all the things Zramazos was doing a few minutes ago, all that jazz, means youth-y romantic feelings. That much is obvious. 

However! This situation is undoubtedly most peculiar! For many reasons! 

Reason 1: Charolette and I never had a 1 on 1 conversation with each other before, and, in the first place, we've barely spoken to one another. We only just met the other day, after all.

Reason 2: I'm, like, half a decade younger than her. 

Reason 3: I've not done anything in particular that would attract feelings from her. Like, at most, I've said nice things about projects and eaten dinner with her and everyone else. 

Reason 4: I'm well aware that my face is pretty off putting. To most people. There was that one chick in elementary school who, (completely unprompted, by the way) once told me that she thought my face made me look handsome, but that my personality wasn't attractive enough to be a potential romantic partner. Really weird kid. Anyways, to most people it's off putting.

So! One can only reasonably conclude that, unless Charolette is really, REALLY weird, (well, she is kinda weird, but not weird in THAT direction), there is a nasty misunderstanding going on. 

Now, here's the problem: See, I know that. Sis would probably also know that if she were paying any attention. And Charolette, I would assume, knows what she's thinking, naturally. Zramazos, however, doesn't know crap. Or, at least, it doesn't look like he does.

Which means I need to tread very carefully. I'd like to figure out what's causing the shenanigans, if at all possible. Problem is, it could literally be anything. I don't know nearly enough about this world to make a sound decision. Like, is there mind-freaking magic on the table? Does that exist over here? Could it be an illusion, or something like that? A really clever disguise? Or is it something more mundane, like a spontaneous heat stroke, or a rapidly onset fever? Spontaneous combustion? Chemical imbalance? Drugs? Could she actually be in lo-

Haha, no. Not even gonna entertain that possibility. 

Well, whatever it is, even that's not the end of my problems. See, I have NO idea what she should POSSIBLY want to tell me that would require us to be alone. What if she saw something? What if she saw that fight at the river, when I used dark magic, or that thing with the green guy, or maybe she saw the-

THE HOLES! AHHH, THE OTHER DAY, BACK ON THE ROOF OF THE INN! SHE SAW ME WARP UP DOWN AND AROUND THE PLACE!

Looking back, there is literally no way she didn't see it. I kinda feel like an idiot for ever thinking there was a chance that she didn't, but denial is a very, very convincing demon.

It stands to reason that's probably what she's gonna ask me about. But, wait, if that is the case, why wait so long? 

Ah, man, I don't know! Is my line of thinking wrong? I guess it could be... Still, there's too much at stake here! While I don't think Zramazos is the type to ask favors, I figure that if he finds out, Michaus will find out, and I shudder to imagine the things he'd want to do with teleportation.

He'd probably want me to teleport him around the world so he can help literally everyone on the planet, and he'd be so convincing and morally justifiable I wouldn't be able to say no! He'd force me to come to terms with the fact that I'm not really using these incredible, logic defining superpowers for anything more than dicking around! I'd have to (and I shudder to even imagine this) accept responsibilities!

I CANNOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN!

Anyways, with all that said, this is the predicament: 

I need to get that alone time with Charolette, and I need to do it in such a way that doesn't emotionally destroy Zramazos or make the situation more awkward than it already is, and I should probably also figure out the cause, 'cus, no matter how you look at it, this is a strange way for a person to act. Can that church guy do healing? I just kinda assume he can, 'cus, y'know, fantasy churches. And I gotta do all that without Zramazos getting suspicious of me. (Though, I get the feeling that's not gonna be a problem.)

And, while I'm doing all that, I also want to secure Zramazos's date, obviously. 

Anyways, with all that in mind, it's time to snap back into reality. Let's do this.

WAIT WAIT WAIT CRAP I FORGOT TO COME UP WITH A PLAN- 

"Uh, h-hello?" Charolette said. 

"Wuh, uh, y-yeah, s-sorry." I said. "Uh, o-one sec." Okay, first things first, I need to regain my composure. I flipped my hood back up. 

"A-are you b-busy right now?" She asked, still blushing. Dangit, woman! Would it kill ya to not say something incredibly misleading for, like, a SECOND? "W-we can t-talk later, i-if you want." AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. Zramazos looks like his soul has fled his body. I need to act quickly before he actually passes out here on the street. 

"Oh, no, I'm fre-" I faked a sniffle, and looked up at the sky. "Ah, crap, gotta sneeze, hold on." I said, and turned around. 

"AHH-" I moved my hands faster than I've ever moved them before. I couldn't help but notice there was a sort of inky blackness protruding out of my hands as they moved, but I decided there were more pressing matters than that, and that I'd think about it later. I slammed my thumbs and index fingers together, and tore them apart with great intensity. It actually kinda hurt, to be honest. "sisineedyoutostaybackandsaythisispartoftheplanCHOOO-"

"GEH! Wh-" I head Sis exclaim from next to me. 

"Ah, excuse me." I said, quickly, before anyone could question anything, and adding another fake sniffle. "It's a bit chilly today. But, yes, I'm totally free."

Zramazos looked dead. No, beyond dead. This was, like, 'death+.'

"S-so, c-can I a-ask you s-" Charolette began.

"Yep, uhuh, let's go over behind the cola machine now." I quickly interrupted. I'm utterly convinced that anything that comes out her mouth is going to be corrosive to Zramazos's already paper thin emotional state. "We'll be back in a sec." I said, quickly making my way over there and hopefully ushering her to do the same. Now, assuming everything works out, Sis will stay behind, and... 

Zramazos looked on at us in bitter defeat, unable to say anything, and Sis began to whisper something to him. Alright! Don't worry buddy, we'll wipe that look off your face, and, before you know it, you'll be back in your peachy, youthful paradise!

We quickly made our way over to the cola machine, and, once we were a good ways out of earshot, I let out a sigh of relief. Whew. Alright, well, it wasn't the most elegant plan, but it could've certainly gone a whole lot worse. My acting wasn't great, but I don't think anyone's gonna think about it all that much, and, at any rate, that wasn't the important part.

The important part was, of course, relaying Sis a message only she could hear. To be honest, given my rather... Unorthodox method, I had some concerns, but it looks like it worked. Well, I say 'unorthodox', but it was really quite simple. I put one hole very, very near my mouth, and the other one very, very near Sis's ear, so that, when I whispered into the hole, only she'd be able to hear it.

The 'unorthodox' part, however, lies in where I put the holes. See, my voice doesn't carry that well, but I really needed to make sure this message would get heard. So, in this case, 'very, very near' meant, well... Inside. The speaking hole went down my throat, and the hearing hole went inside Sis's ear like an earbud. Ordinarily, I'd be concerned about hearing damage, but, Sis being an immortal, will probably be fine. I think. That said... It was still pretty gross. I'll have to apologize to her later.

As for the content of the message, all I really needed to tell her was to stay back, and hopefully reassure Zramazos. I don't really know how good she'll be at that, but I put a lot of trust into her being a lot better at talking than I am, as well as her ability to lie on the fly. 

And, now, Charolette and I are alone, hopefully briefly, and Sis is explaining some version of the situation to Zramazos to ensure he doesn't start foaming at the mouth or join a certain board of robots. 

"Think Zramazos is okay? He looks kinda sick." Charolette said, completely normally. Her face was still a little flush, but, for the most part it was back to normal.

"Yeah, he'll be fine." I said. "But going forward, I suggest you be more careful with your words. You're gonna give the poor guy a heart attack."

She looked puzzled. "Whaddu you mean?" 

I sighed. "Never mind." 

"Oh, right, anyways. Ever since I saw you that day, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind." She said.

"Phrasing." Oh, hey, that's the first time I did the 'phrasing' gag out loud. Yeah, doesn't have the same impact. 

"What?"

"Sorry, don't worry about it."

"Alright. Anyways, yeah, it was when you and that other guy were on the roof the other day, you were jumpin' all up down and around the place. Except you weren't jumping, you just appeared in other places! Teleportation, right?!" She said, seemingly excitedly. "And those things you went through, the, the, I dunno, wormholes or something, right?! Or, well, actually, no, portals might be a more apt term." I'm supposed to believe that most people in this world barely know how to read, and yet here this chick is talkin' about wormholes and crap. "I've never even HEARD of people being able to do anything like that! How'd you manage that?!"

"Oh, uh, old family-" Hmm... Bah, it's tradition at this point. "-recipe." 

"Whaddu you mean by that?" Charolette questioned. 

"Uh..." That's... A good question. What do I mean by that? I guess, in reality, it's just a means to get people to stop asking questions. So why haven't you, lady?! 

"It, uh, means that i-it's complicated. And secret, and stuff. And powerful, too. I can't use them for just anything." I felt the cruel blade of irony twist it's way into my stomach as I uttered those words. But it was necessary. Probably. 

She looked skeptical. "But you can use them to buy drinks a little faster?"

. . .

"Yes."