Uh, anyways, after I finished chuckling at the word 'butte' for an embarrassing amount of time, Sis and I began to discuss upcoming things, specifically in regards to the butte.

Hehe.

"So, we just gotta get to the top, right?" I asked, looking up at the monumental rock outcropping in front of me.

"Yep. According to the paper and that text over there, we're supposed to go through a bunch of deadly trials and stuff." Sis explained.

"I see. Sounds rough."

"Seems that way. The text sure makes a big deal out of 'em. And, given the size of this place, I can't imagine there's a reasonable amount of them, either. Apparently, most people who enter end up dead, permanently injured, or traumatized. Usually all at once. Well, 'cept dead, I guess, that's kind of exclusive. Honestly, from what I've read, 17 skulls is underselling this place by a ton. Serious stuff."

"Yeah. Yikes."

. . .

"Good thing we don't have to do it." I said, putting my hands together.

"Oh yeah, naturally. Man, can you imagine?" 

"Nah, I can't. 'Least, I don't want to. Sounds freaky." I said, using the holes to take a quick peek at the top of the butte, and then moving them so we can actually step through.

"Yeah, I get that."

Anyways, once everything was prepared, Sis stepped through, and I quickly followed her.

It was positively empty up there.

Ah, crap, don't tell me we have to actually go in there and grab some sort of key item or someth-

Suddenly, a giant cloud of what looked kinda like smoke, if smoke was every color at the same time and also one after another and also had no color at all. It was very confusing to look at. I guess I'd describe it as 'otherworldly', which should be especially meaningful, because I've literially been to other worlds. 

Anyways, point is, some weird magic crap appeared in front of us. Thank heavens.

Out from the mysterious smog appeared something that looked like something an elementary schooler would come up with. That drawing was pretty dang spot on. It was basically just the head of unicorn, but, instead of the single horn, there was, like, a hundred of 'em, or something. Maybe more.

A centicorn. That's a way better name than what I was using before. 

"Greetings, young heroes." The centicorn said, its voice being the third thing I describe to myself in a needlessly long winded yet hopelessly vague manner. It was, in a word, motherly. Or, at least, what I imagine that sounds like. The voice kinda echoed off itself, too, which added to the previously mentioned otherworldly vibe this whole deal had going. It also had a sort of godly sound to it, I guess? I dunno, kinda spitballing here. 

"Yeah, hey." Sis said.

"G-good evening." I said, trying to be respectful. This thing looks ridiculous, that's for sure, but I got the strangest feeling it would be able to kill me if it blinked hard enough. I really felt like I wasn't supposed to be there. 

"You have done well to make it here." The centicorn said. "It's been so long since I've had new company in this place."

"I can see why." Sis said. "You live on a friggin' death trap."

The centicorns eye seemed to twitch, just a little, as Sis said that. "This place is, indeed quite dangerous." They said, with a sort of solemnness in it's voice. "But it is necessary, so that only those who are pure of heart might arrive here, for it is only the pure who are worthy to receive my blessings."

Yikes, dude.

"Yeah, hell of a job you're doing with that." Sis said.  

Hmm. To be entirely honest, I don't think I've ever been more glad that I can't show fear. What the hell, sis. Though, she does have a point. We cheated the heck outa this thing.

"Whatever do you mean?" Asked the centicorn. 

"Don't worry about it." Sis said. 

Actually, now that I'm thinkin' about it, how the heck is a death trap torture chamber supposed to find those 'pure of heart?' This thing's totally full of crap. Well, I guess maybe I'd know the answer if I actually went through the thing. Yeah, as if. 

"At any rate," The centicorn continued. "If memory serves, the two of you mark the twelfth and thirteenth to arrive at this place."

Oh? "Wait, which of us is the 13th?" I asked.

Sis and the centicorn seemed a little confused. "Well, I suppose I'm not sure, but-" The centricorn began.

"Think you came through second. So, you, probably." Sis explained.  

"Sweet." Huzzah!

"If I might ask... Why do you care to know?" The centicorn asked.

"13 is a cool number." I explained. At least in the west, it's been associated with death and bad luck since... Some time, I guess. Point is, it's very fitting for a master of darkness! Speaking of which, I've been kinda neglecting my studies in the whole dark magic department... Eh, I'll get around to it. 

"... I see." The centicorn said. "Regardless, it is a great feat to make it up here. I will not let you go unrewarded for that. Now, state thy desire, young heroes, who art pure of heart."

Huh? Desire?

Sis looked as confused as I was. She pulled out and once again and quickly read over the sheet we grabbed from the guild hall. Her befuddled look didn't cease, and she eventually asked "What do you mean by that? This, like, a wish granting thing?"

"Is that knowledge your desire?" 

Sis thought about it, for a moment. "No." She said, which was probably a pretty good choice.

"That's a wise choice, because I will be telling you anyway." The centicorn said, with a foreign, more jovial tone. "Forgive me, I don't have many opportunities to joke."

Hah...

"Within the realms of reason, I can grant thee, those who are pure of heart, one desire, whatever it may be, as a reward for being one of true quality. Though, be aware, though I hold a wonderous power, it is not so vast as the sea. And, beyond that, there are certain things I will not make reality, should it hinder what is good in this world." 

Okay, so, basically, they're a crappy genie. Now, question is, are they the sadistic type, or are they as 'good' as they imply?

On one hand, they look pretty goofy, which lends to the 'good' side, plus there's all that 'pure of heart' talk, but, on the other, they do reside on a giant murder chamber, and their word choice strikes me as more than a little suspect, to be frank. So, a bit of a toss up, really.

But, regardless, that's one hell of a thing to just spring up on us, dangit! 

Crap, there are a million things I'd want to ask for! A flaming sword, mastery of dance, the ability to eat sweets and not get fat, a jetpack- no, rocket boots! Laser eyes, a talking robo-dog sidekick, ability to skateboard, bigger pockets-

Or... Maybe...

. . .

No. I couldn't.

. . .

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it... In the entire history of, well, ever, under 15 people have actually made it up here, right? That means it's probably pretty friggin' difficult, right? And the reward is... 1, singular wish, and one with heavy restrictions, at that. Isn't that, like, super not worth it? Man, this place could use some serious rebranding. Or a gift shop, at least. 

"I wanna fight you." Sis plainly said to the centicorn.

"... Pardon?"

"That's my desire. C'mon, mano e mono, you and me baby, let's dance." Sis said, putting up fisticuffs. 

It's a very surreal feeling, watching an 8 year old in fishing gear talk like that to an other worldly, possibly eldritch being of indeterminate power. 

"I am afraid I cannot do that. It would be beneath me to raise my hand at one who is pure of heart." The centicorn said, a bit apologetically. Man, this thing's really trying to sell this whole 'pure of heart' thing. What is that, your catchphrase? 

"But that's the one thing I came here for. C'mon." Sis said.

"I am terribly sorry. In the first place, you do not want this fight. It is not one you can win."

Sis looked rather disappointed. 

For about half a second. Then, it seemed, she got an idea, given the mischievous grin. Which made me just a little apprehensive. I put my hands together, in my pockets, just in case. 

"Well, I'm not so sure about that." Sis said.

"Pure of heart or not, a mere mortal chil-"

"After all, I tricked your dumb a*s once before."

Ah! So rude! So vulgar! 

The centicorn seemed to have a similar reaction. 

"P-pardon?" They said after a moments hesitation.

"You stupid or something? Let me spell it out for you. U - R - N - ID-EEE-OT" 

The centicorn seemed visibly irritated, but simply chuckled, briefly. "A-ah, I see now, surely you jest, young one. Of course, someone pure of heart such as yourself would never ask for something so vulgar."

"Oh no," Sis said, grinning harder. "I'm dead serious. And let it be known that I didn't step a single foot into your stupid little tower."

Ooooooooohhh boy... 

"Wh-what are you talking about, young one? that's impossible, you couldn't possibly climbed a sheer vertical wall for several thousand feet-"

"It doesn't matter how I did it. Point is, I did. Go ahead, check. It should be easy for you, shouldn't it, oh 'being of wonderous power.'"

The centicorn said nothing, and stared down at Sis with wrathful confusion. 

"And, y'know what?" Sis said, stepping closer to the creature, "That's a damn good thing I cheated. I mean, that's a literal death trap down there." 

"Y-you couldn't-"

"If you ask me," Sis said, getting even closer, getting right in this things smokey face, "I think you're the last thing that should decide who's pure and who's not. Know why?"

"Wh-whatever could you-"

"Because you're one dirty, sadistic f*ck, aren't you?" 

Ah!

The centricorn, initially said nothing, though it's expression said a thousand words. It's smokey body began to rise, and gained a sort of impossible reddish hue, as it's eyes flashed through a million colors, faster than I could comprehend.

Suddenly a sharp, rod-like object shot out of seemingly nowhere and landed between us at an impossible speed, cracking the hard stone beneath us. 

"YOU... ARE NOT... PURE OF HEART!" The centicorn shouted with an all new, far deeper, far more commanding voice, an unattainable wrath seeping out of every word it spoke.

"You might wanna run." Sis whispered to me. 

"Wayyyy ahead of you." I said.