“A few months ago, I received another order for an eggnog potion,” my master said, conversationally, as I set a mug of tea on his desk. 

My eyes shot up to his for a moment in surprise, and then I hurriedly looked away again when I saw that he was looking at me, a smirk on his lips. Was he watching for my reaction? 

When did he even get an order like that? I thought I was the one that handled those. Maybe this was an under-the-table deal? Or something discussed at a noble gathering? Or maybe I’d been out when he’d been contacted? How had—

No, it didn’t matter. I needed to stop this, stop these ridiculous and unbecoming thoughts. I needed to not overthink something simple until it consumed my mind. It wasn’t worth it.

He chuckled, then, as I quickly hurried off towards the door. Before I could leave I heard him say, “If you were to drink this, you could turn into a woman.”

I glanced back at him, trying desperately to keep my expression level even through my internal screams. 

He had already brewed the potion. That’s what he’d been doing these past few months. All those late nights... And now he had the potion, and he was holding it out towards me. Holding it as if… taunting me. 

Please… I wanted that. I needed that. Ever since I’d realised just how jealous I was of women, it had been a constant nagging thought, every feeling I felt in my body, every time I was addressed… all of that stuff felt like stabs. I only wished for one of two things — one, to return to that blissful ignorance from before, or two, to finally be a woman, making the thoughts entirely irrelevant.

The vial my master held… the potion it contained was a stronger variant of his affirmation potion, capable of full-body transformations. And yes, he called it “eggnog,” even though the potion didn’t seem much of anything like eggnog to me.

“But I suppose then, rather than just my servant, you would be my maid,” he surmised, playing with the vial in his hands.

I couldn’t handle being in his office a moment more, and hurried out, shutting the door behind me as gently as I could in my panicked state. He chuckled once more as I did, and I had to lean against the wall for a moment to calm my beating heart. 

And now the rest of the day I wouldn’t just be distracted by him, I’d also be distracted by that gods-forsaken potion.

I had things to do! I was a busy maid— servant. I was a busy servant, with responsibilities ranging from cleaning, to meal preparation, to secretarial duties. And I didn’t want to disappoint him… I cared about him. And he… trusted me. He wouldn’t have just anyone here with him. It would be too dangerous. I understood him, and I respected his boundaries, and I took care of what needed taking care of. And I took pride in my work, too. Would another woman— Would someone else be able to do what I did for him? I doubted it. And that made my work ever more valuable.

I couldn’t let him down. Even when I was hopelessly flustered by him and his gods-forsaken potions. 

*

“Sir, you really ought to go to sleep,” I urged, even as I set down another glass of tea. It had caffeine, and it was already past midnight. It wasn’t healthy for him to be working himself like this, especially by the dim light of an oil lamp. And he’d already been doing this for months... He’d finished the eggnog potion! Why was he still doing this to himself? What was it now?

Like always, he would end up all sore tomorrow, and his eye would be twitching… And that’s not even considering what these late nights must be doing to the end of his life…

“I know, I know,” he sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “This is rather important, though, and I feel I’m so close to a breakthrough…”

“Sir…” I murmured.

“Fifteen minutes. I promise, whether or not I’ve finished it by then, I’ll head to bed.”

I gave him a warm smile, and he smiled back weakly, before his attention turned back to his equipment and I quietly left his office once more.

And as time tended to do, it passed, and fifteen minutes later, I myself had finished preparing for bed. One last time I walked back to my master’s office, hoping that the glow of his light would no longer be visible from under his door.

But as with most nights in the past months... it still was. I sighed, knocking quietly on the dark wood. A moment later I pulled the door open, and… Was… was he asleep? My master had fallen asleep over his papers?

My heart tightened at the sight. It was… so cute. He was such an intense and focused man for so much of the time — it was rare to see him in such a vulnerable state. He looked so... peaceful.

I crept closer, intending to gently rub his shoulder until he would wake, but… then I saw it.

My eyes snapped to it, as they always did when it was around.

The eggnog potion had not been put away. Instead, it was lying on his desk with his pens, but a cork holding the liquid inside.

Never before in my life had I ever had to fight with such temptation. Where before it would gnaw away at my insides ever so slowly… this was different. I felt as though every part of me except my conscience was screaming at me to do it, to take the vial and be what I wanted to be.

But I would never have been able to afford a single one of those potions that my master made. His customers were the nobility, and sometimes even the royalty. This was why he lived in a mansion, and this was how he paid my salary.

If I were to save up that salary for my entire life, I might have been able to cover the cost of a regular affirmation potion.

I couldn’t steal it. I couldn’t. Even if he didn’t send me to the dungeon, it wasn’t worth it. I would be betraying all the trust we had. I’d be a woman, but… if I wasn’t able to stay with my master, I would have to find entirely new reasons to live.

I didn’t want to leave him. 

I took a deep, calming breath, then gently set my hand on his shoulder. “Sir? Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

He sighed, opening his eyes, then immediately turning to look up at me. He… he didn’t even look tired. Was he already awake? Was he testing me?

“Why didn’t you take it?” he murmured, a dejected look on his face.

“T-take what?” I asked. “What’s wrong, sir?”

My master gestured to his eggnog potion.

“Oh...”

“I know how you look at it. You know... you don’t hide your emotions anywhere near as well as you think you do.”

“I-I… why would I…” I stammered, looking away.

“I don’t know, you tell me?” he prompted. “Clearly you need it, otherwise you wouldn’t be so obsessed with it every time I brew it.”

“I… I couldn’t,” I spluttered, my hands in front of me as if to protect myself from his words. “I-I wouldn’t dream of using it, I’ll n-never have the wealth to afford it... I’m already indebted to you… but indebted with a cost I’ll never be able to repay…?”

He grabbed one of my hands out of the air, then, and held it tight, keeping me from shaking even more than I already was. “Listen,” he sighed. “I didn’t get an order for an eggnog potion, those months ago. I… I made it for you.”

“Wh-what? Why would you spend months working on something for me, something that I’ll never be able to pay for…”

“You’ll never need to pay for it,” my master said, squeezing my hand even tighter as he stood up to the same height as me.

I frowned. “B-but... it takes months to make one of these potions! That would be so, so much time, and wealth... to just... throw away... It’s such a waste...”

He shook his head, grabbing my other hand and staring me in the eyes. “For you, it’s not a waste.”

I didn’t say anything, staring at the floor instead, as the gears in my mind spun endlessly with no purchase.

“If you don’t want it, you don’t have to have it. If you’re more comfortable without it… very well,” my master said, letting go of my hands. “I just thought that it might be worth giving you the option.”

I looked back and forth between my master and the potion. 

“And even if you decide not to take it now, I’ll hold on to it. It’ll always be here for if you need it, alright?” he said, giving me a sad smile.

Half of my mind was still screaming to accept it, and the more he encouraged it, the harder it was for the rest of my mind to resist. Would it… really be okay? Could I… I swallowed. If he’d made it for me… maybe it would be okay.

“I… I want it,” I admitted. “But... I’m not comfortable with the idea of being given something worth so much more than my own life.”

“Please... stop talking of yourself in such a way,” he said. “We’re friends, aren’t we? And we came here together. It doesn’t matter that I’m from a different social class. At this point, this house is yours as much as it is mine. Maybe even moreso considering you’re the one of us who looks after it,” he chuckled. “I simply pay the bills.”

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, shocked to hear the words coming out of his mouth. That is... that is not how... anything works. Why would he—

“It was not I who suggested that you be a servant, either,” he said. “Though I admit I haven’t really minded.”

“I just... wanted to be... useful to you...” I choked. “I’m not useful in any other way.”

“I appreciate everything you do, but... I appreciate you most when you’re there for me,” he said. “That’s all. Please, let me do something for you—”

“Something besides giving me a place to stay, and money in my hands?”

He gave me a pointed look, and I looked at the floor again. “Let me do something for you. If you want the potion, take it.” And then he set it in my hands. “You’re worth it. On my soul I promise that.”

At that moment, I was at a loss for words. I felt like if I had the ability to cry, I would have been. He’d given me a gift worth more than I’d ever make in my entire life, and for… for what?

“Why?” I whispered, gripping the vial tightly as if I was afraid it would fall out of my grasp before I had a chance to use it. “Why did you... spend so much time making this... for me?”

“Well, that’s easy,” he laughed. “I knew you wanted it, and… I care about you. Now, go on — head to bed. I’ll follow you in just a moment.”

“Y-yes sir,” I choked, wiping my eyes. I’d... I’d started tearing up. I… I couldn’t. I hadn’t even thought I could cry… “Th-thank you,” I blubbered, before heading out of his office and towards my bedroom, vial in hand.

“Goodnight!” he called.

On the way, I stopped for only a single moment. See, a potion with such an exceptional effect was not particularly quick. If I wanted to wake up in a body that made me more comfortable, I would need to take it now. Hence, with nary a moment to reconsider, in the halls of my master’s mansion, I downed the eggnog potion that I hoped with all my heart would make me his… maid. Licking my lips, I found that I was right in believing that it was nothing like eggnog. It was overwhelmingly sweet, though.

And eventually I arrived at my bedroom, setting the empty vial on my bedside table, before quickly lying on the bed and tucking myself in as best I could. 

It… It’d be okay, right?

The potion wasn’t really something that could make people unhappy, after all. And he’d given it to me — I had his blessing. I was sure it would be okay, right?

No. It was pointless to dwell on it. I’d taken the potion and that was that. I was in bed, too, so now it was just a matter of waiting to see what effect there was tomorrow, if any.

Therein lay another problem, though. The most exciting moment of my life was fast approaching, and I needed sleep for it, but… I was so close. I wanted my body, I wanted to be a woman. I wanted to be a maid, as weird as all of that probably sounded.

I still didn’t know why my mind had been so set on all of it, but… I wanted it with my entire being.

Luckily, even on nights like that, tossing and turning, every small sensation feeling like a sign of something more… it is still possible to sleep. I know this because, eventually, I did.

*

And when I woke up, everything had changed… Though at first, I did not realise.

It took a while for my brain to remember what had happened the night before — a moment I spent just laying there, tucked ever so comfortably in my soft blankets. I felt so safe, and warm…

But finally, the moment had to end. I had responsibilities, after all. I had to make breakfast for my master, among other morning chores.

I sighed, not wanting to leave my bed, and the sound that came out was surprisingly feminine.

My eyes snapped open. Feminine. I’d… I had… he’d given me… that wasn’t a dream, was it? My eyes nervously glanced towards my bedside table, and… there it was. The vial.

My breath caught.

I wiggled a bit under my blankets. It… yeah, everything felt different. I…

Oh, gods, everything was going to be so different, wasn’t it? I was terrified, but my heart was also racing at a speed faster than I’d thought was possible.

I needed to push back the blankets. I needed to see myself. I needed to accept myself.

Slowly… ever so slowly… I did so, pushing my blankets down to my legs. Were… my blankets larger than before? Was my entire bed larger than before?

Or was I smaller? I swallowed.

And looking down… I… I had… breasts. Oh, gods. Oh, gods.

Hesitantly, I touched one. It… felt… normal.  It felt like any other part of my body, but… perhaps a bit softer, more willing to give?

No, that wasn’t right. My entire body was softer than I’d been used to. 

And… I held my hand in the air above me. My hands were thinner, and smaller, and all that needless dark hair on the back had completely vanished.

I already felt my eyes getting wet, and I choked back tears. Every new part of me I noticed was making me more emotional than the last. I… I’d never realised just how trapped I’d felt in my old body. Just how much pain it had caused me. I knew that I’d been a little obsessed with the idea of my body changing, but I hadn’t realised how much my old body had hurt.

And now… all of that pent-up stress and frustration and hurt was coming out at once. 

Tears — actual, gods-forsaken tears — were running down my cheeks. 

And suddenly I was wondering what my face looked like. I touched my cheeks, and my jaw, and my mouth, and my nose…

I felt… soft. And any sign of those awful, spiky hairs on my face had vanished entirely. It was just… smooth.

And, as one might have expected, that brought on another round of tears.

I finally took a long, laboured breath, and then slid my legs off of the bed, sitting up. I… every part of me felt utterly different. And how short had I become? I felt minuscule.

I landed on the floor, then. How much height had I lost? The length of my hand or so?

Oh, gods, my feet were so small! And they had no hair on them either!

In fact… did I have hair anywhere?

After a cursory trace around my new, better  body… no. I had only the thin brows on my forehead, and long hair atop my head. Other than that, there was none!

I was so soft and I had no hair on my body… every part of that made my heart swell and my tummy dance.

I wanted to dance.

…Maybe later. First I had to deal with a few other things, such as making breakfast for my master.

I was a maid! I was a maid now! I caught myself starting to giggle. I was a maid and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that! I could simply… be a maid. My heart felt like it was going to burst!

I took a deep breath. Later. After I’d done my chores, then I would have a chance to explore myself more. Brushing my messy hair behind my ears, I walked over to my wardrobe, and then opened the door.

And then I realised that I had no clothes that would fit this body, and I fell back on my bed, mortified.

How in the world was I going to do my morning chores without clothes to wear?

*

Knock knock knock.

I… what? My master was at the door? When did he ever come to my room, rather than I to his?

“Come in!” I called quickly, then smiled at the sound of my voice.

The door swung open. “Good morning,” he said, and then his eyes landed on me.

“G-good morning,” I stammered back.

We stared at each other for a moment, a moment in which I began to blush more and more. Eventually I had to look away, terribly embarrassed, and when I looked back at him, he looked similar. 

And then I realised that I was clothed only in my thin nightgown, and he could see— I covered my chest, a bit ashamed, and he gave me an embarrassed smile, rubbing the back of his head. 

“How… how are you feeling?” he asked, stammering himself as he stood there awkwardly, not meeting my eyes. It was for the best, as neither could I meet his.

“Wonderful,” I murmured, staring pointedly at the floor. “But… I… I have nothing to wear, sir.”

“Oh! That can be easily fixed. If you call my tailor and order a new wardrobe for yourself, I will cover the cost.”

“But… sir, you can’t…” I started, looking back up at him.

He frowned at me, and I nervously stared at the floor again. “On what else could I even spend the money I have, then?”

“I’m n-not sure, sir…” I mumbled. “But I’m… not worth…”

He stepped closer, and I shrunk back a bit on my bed, realising just how much smaller I was now. And I’d been the larger of us before!

His expression softened, and very slowly, and very gently, he reached out, holding my chin in his hand as his thumb brushed the leftover tears from my cheeks. “As I said last night — you are worth it,” he murmured.

I felt like my heart was going to burst. He was so close! And he was… he was touching me! I… My heart… 

My tears started up again at that, and I choked out, “But… I… I’m just… I’m just a servant… Well… a m-maid, now…”

“You were never just a servant,” he frowned. “Stop saying that... You’ve always been more than that…”

“I… but…”

And then he leaned down, looked me straight in the eyes, and gently pressed his lips to mine.

And that… that was… something.

Any fear or hesitation I had melted entirely in that kiss. It was… Fantasies I hadn’t even realised I had were coming true. I’d known I cared about him, and I’d hoped he cared about me, but… never before had he been quite so forward about it. And neither had my body ever felt so right.

I didn’t deserve this, I didn’t deserve this bliss. I was just a lowly…

He pulled back for a moment, cutting my thoughts short. Panting, then, he said, “I’m sure you’d be an amazing maid, but I’d… rather you be my partner. Honestly... that’s what I’ve always wanted.”

“You...” I gaped, half blown away by the kiss, half blown away by his words.

He just gave me a smile, and then he leaned back in and kissed me even harder, and finally my ever-so-worried brain shut itself off.