AS WALD WAS THROWN INTO THE RAINBOW SPACE VAGINA PORTAL BY A GIGGLING GODDESS, GRAVITY SWITCHED SUDDENLY. One instant, he was flying sideways; the next, he was falling down, head first, his insides shifting abruptly like on a roller-coaster ride.
He only had time to get a semblance of his bearings before he heard a deafeningly atrocious shriek—like all the worst noises he could imagine rolled into one. It made Wald’s teeth ache, and the very fabric of space shudder around him. Nails on a chalkboard, metal-on-metal grinding, a baby screaming in pain, terrified pigs, a dentist’s drill, a concert of vuvuzelas, chainsaws cutting through expanded polystyrene, cutlery rubbing on porcelain through a blown-out speaker, or slowly unfolding Velcro… It had it all.
Wald cast a glance upwards, past his flailing legs and absurd trunk-like glowing spirit cock, just as a creature of nightmare dove through the closing portal, like a purplish Lovecraftian chthonian millipede sandworm painted by Arcimboldo as a grotesque patchwork of animal limbs wrapped in smoke and shadows. A parody of a humanoid face was at its front, with a gaping, gigantic circular maw full of rotating rows of fangs and prehensile tentacles.
“Oh… bollocks.”
The… thing’s continuous wail spiked when the portal sealed shut partway down its sinuous body, severing it.
Wald had seen enough. Swearing out the entirety of his crude lexicon, he turned back down and tried everything he could think of to accelerate into the dizzying whirlpool of colours dragging him—hopefully—to the two goddesses’ world.
He tried curling into a ball. He tried streamlining his posture. He tried swimming down—a breaststroke, as it was the only way he knew how. He even tried flapping his arms and thinking happy thoughts. But, he had no clue whether any it had any effect. This space had no wind, no friction, no sense of distance, no fairy dust–
In fact, no matter of any kind that he could feel other than himself.
Meanwhile, brief glances behind/above showed the abomination was rapidly gaining on him. The limb-worm moved in strange stroboscopic flashes, like a stop-motion puppet from Hell, like its existence was missing frames.
Didn’t stop it from screaming without pause, though.
Soon, it was on him. By a strange trick of space and perception, it turned out much smaller up-close. However, that only made it the girth of a tree trunk and the length of a five-wagon train.
Yeah, no biggy. Oh– “Fuck!”
Wald could only gasp and shout as the monstrous fleshy centipede coiled around him, and its mouth-tentacles slobbered all over his face. His weak kicks and punches only bounced harmlessly against the horror’s oily purple skin. The slimy coating burned cold on contact, like boiling syrup drizzled on a sunburn, and the trapped human soul screamed in pain, adding his raw voice to the monster’s uninterrupted cacophony.
For several long moments—could have been seconds, could have been days—Wald thought he was a goner. His life flashed before his eyes with the sharp brightness of truck headlights. What had he accomplished in those almost thirty years of life? Sure, he was content with his lot, but was it really enough? As it was, his isekai light novel would only have two chapters: one stating what a loser he was in life, the other how he died pitifully—twice.
The title would be “The Failed Hero Got Eaten by an Eldritch Horror from the Void before He Even Transmigrated?!?!” …or something.
He died. He met the Goddesses. He died, again.
The End.
Then the constricting abomination came in contact with Wald’s glowing schlong.
“SHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”
It recoiled, releasing its prey and wriggling away. Freed from its slimy coils, Wald inhaled a deep, loud breath he wasn’t sure he needed—but it felt good nonetheless.
He wasn’t out of danger, however.
His fearful eyes found the creature, fast-forwarding through space in a wide predatory circle around him. A penis-shaped black burn now branded its dreadful patchwork body—with the balls and everything. It was as surreal as it was silly, but Wald was in no mood to laugh.
Feeling ridiculous but lacking any better idea, he grabbed his hot floppy dick and held it like a limp fat spear, aimed roughly at his eldritch aggressor.
“F-Fuck off, monster! I’m warning you! I’m… armed! I won’t hesitate to use this! I won’t! …Ah-HAH! Not so fearsome anymore, are you?” Inside, he was still shaking with fear and trying to reassure himself. It’s alright, Wald. Predators don’t attack the preys that can fight back. It’s only in the movies that they chase the protagonist forever. I’m sure that’s what I’ve read online. The internet never lies!
But apparently, this predator had not read the same posts as Wald. Or it took his words as a challenge. So instead of flying off, it darted straight at the two-handed dickwielder soul. Crying out in fright, Wald swung his flaccid man-bat. At least he kept his eyes open. However, the spastic monstrosity avoided it easily and dashed past the trembling human, without slowing.
But not without first taking a big circular bite out of his upper body.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!”
Wald screamed in pain. Now one shoulder lesser than the man he used to be a second ago, he let go of his lightsaber cock to grab his mutilated upper arm. He clutched the wound in a vain effort to stave off the haemorrhage of gassy blue blood speckled with gold trailing him like a comet tail.
A small part of him—the one not screaming in absolute panic—was really starting to question the physiology of this whole spiritual body business.
Was it a body of blood and bones? Or was it just a projection of his inner self? Maybe those goddesses and this demon worm weren’t big at all, but it was his soul that was very small because of his abyssal self-esteem? Did regular visits to a psychiatrist make you a better soul warrior? What did it mean for his spiritual balance that he was now a small ghost man with a massive light show penis?
The eldritch worm apparently had no patience or respect for Wald’s existential crisis. It u-turned with a screech of drifting tires on asphalt and then dashed back ferociously for another bite. For how madly feral the thing looked, it had been damn quick to switch to a hit-and-run tactic.
How is it fair that it’s smart too?!
Wald’s attempt to shield himself cost him both hands.
He stared blankly at the stumps ending his wrist, bleeding out spirit juice. “……” He was at a loss for words, shocked past the point of pain.
Something snapped.
Suns briefly flared in Wald’s glare back at the abyssal horror, which was gearing up for another run. “It won’t eat you if you eat it first,” the crazy goddess had said.
Well, in for a penny...! When the monster ran at Wald again, instead of dodging, the human let it mutilate his stomach and threw his stumped arms around its long, cold, slimy body. “Uggh!” The worm was speedy. Wald only managed to catch its tail end, where it ended in an abrupt cut from the portal shutting close. But he caught it!
At first, Wald’s grip slipped on the painful oiled skin. But the creature’s gross surface was uneven enough that the human quickly snatched onto… something… and was yanked along.
“Gah! O-Okay?! It worked! SHIT!! It worked!? Oh, god! Fuck!” Being in contact with the worm hurt horribly, but Wald was too scared to feel it anymore.
Unfortunately, this was not the case of his new ride. The worm’s shrieks spiked again as one particular divinely blessed dick pressed against its demonic hide and charred another cock-n’-balls brand into it.
“SHHAAAAAAAASHHAASHAASHAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!”
The monster reared and twisted, trying to throw Wald off. Limbs from various animals peeled off its abominable body. They pulled, tore, clawed, lashed and stabbed at Wald, but he held on—somehow. The loss of a shoulder and half his abdomen didn’t seem to impede his movement, and he gladly put that down to soul-body shenanigans.
“Turnabout is a bitch, bitch,” Wald groaned through gritted teeth, feeling quite hysterical as he took a breath and then bit down into the monster’s bit closest to his mouth—some kind of hairless pustular goat ear.
There was surprisingly little resistance before his teeth sank through chewy, gooey flesh. Foul taste burst through Wald’s mouth—a mixture of rot, faeces and old socks—and he almost puked the flesh right out. But fuelled by desperation and lack of a better plan—of any plan—he forced himself to swallow.
The goat ear melted into a freezing-cold sludge as it slid down his oesophagus, to finally settle in his belly with the smoothness of a gallon of chilled liquor on an empty stomach mixed with a fistful of glass shrapnel. Wald groaned, trembling as the acidic cold immediately started to spread through his veins. Along came a now-familiar sensation of maddening arousal, and he knew he would have lost his mind from such a pure infusion of lust… had he not recently been tampered by Caelista’s horny solar flame.
However, where the Sun Goddess’ lust burned with fiery passions for life and its pleasure, the void fiend’s essence exuded nothing but pure hate. It had an all-consuming hunger for destruction and a violent craving to spread its seed to birth more and more agents of ruin, in always exponential numbers.
And although Wald managed to retain his sanity, that surge of unbridled malice and aggression bled into his soul.
Before, he had only hoped to survive. Now, he couldn’t be satisfied until he utterly annihilated his foe, devoured it down to its very soul—if it had one—and crushed its disgusting, abhorrent body to fine dust until it was less than a memory of existence.
Wald took another bite, then another, and another, ripping flesh off with his bare teeth and uncaring that he was chewing on a fuzzy eyestalk that tasted like a garbage dump dripped in gasoline. He kept eating as the abomination trashed under him and as they both continued to plummet down the rainbow storm.
“ASHHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR!!”
The man-faced worm monster tried to coil on itself to sink its spinning fangs into the painful tyke on its back and shred it to pieces.
Seeing that vision of horror approaching, Wald stopped gorging himself in filth. Instead, he snarled, bestially, and holding himself in place with his legs, he snatched one of the creature’s maw tentacle and yanked the fiend down into a powerful head-butt that left them both reeling.
Wald barely noticed that his hands had regrown, or that they were now gnarled, purple-black seven-fingered inhuman atrocities ending in wicked claws. He also was only distantly aware of the atrophied and crooked raven wing unfolding from his mangled shoulder blade, or the jagged shark maw forming from his eviscerated midsection, or the fangs and tusks overflowing from his mouth after he broke his teeth on some of the monster’s tougher spots.
At the same time, his body was overflowing with lust, hunger and violence. He longed to rape his filthy opponent, to ravage them as he beat them to a pulp and feasted in their flesh—in whichever order possible. But, alas, although the damned monster didn’t lack orifices, they all turned to ash as soon as Wald painfully hard blessed cock slid into them.
Frustration mounting, Wald roared bloody spittle, hatred, and bits of broken teeth into the detestable horror’s disgusting man-face. The monster roared back with a matching sentiment.
Abandoning his hold on the creature’s back, Wald leapt at its deformed head. He landed in front of the whirring rotating chainsaw maws, amidst the ear-splitting shriek. The wriggling tentacles immediately tried to pull him in but were impeded by his enormous shiny phallus scorching them to coal with the merest brush along its pulsating length. Wald riposted by clawing viciously at the monster’s eyes—of which there were many.
One especially big eyeball, Wald ripped it out then bit into it like a juicy apple as the monster reared in pain. The fiend’s secretions spurted in his mouth and dripped down his chin as Wald’s own eyes rolled back in ecstasy. No longer did he find the taste repulsive. Hate twisted his perception, making this the foul nectar he sought to consume until there was none of it left in the universe. He couldn’t stand the presence of it. He couldn’t get enough of it.
A pleasure jolt sprang from his taste buds to his brain, bounced around his skull, then all the way down to his erect cock. This proved the last straw. A quake rocked his glowing balls that had swollen to the size of enormous melons. With a loud wet gurgle, globs of thick blessed semen oozed up his shaft, which visibly inflated at their viscous passage, and spurted powerfully into the abomination’s gaping maw.
“SHEeEeEeEeEEEeEEEeEeEEeEeEEeEEEEE!!”
If the creature’s shriek had shaken space before, now, even time seemed to lurch to a halt under the reality-breaking noise. Sonic waves blasted past Wald. Wounds tore open all over his body like the cuts of a sword. However, purplish-black tar oozed out to immediately seal the gaps, leaving him looking like a warty zebra. Only his luminescent crotch was spared the mutilations.
Through all of this, Wald never stopped eating and never stopped cumming. His balls were like bottomless flasks of semen, pouring endlessly into the monster, which was now trashing not only out of rage, but also agony and incomprehension—for it could not understand the fear churning inside. When its sole purpose was the destruction of all of Creation, the end of its own existence was a paradox it couldn’t fathom.
Infused with the monster’s essence as he was, Wald had a direct line peeking into its chaotic, destructive mind, and in this instant, he revelled in the fiend’s confused existential terror. “Warned you. Turnabout is a bitch,” he thought more viciously than he thought himself capable of, even as he ripped a tentacle out of the monster’s maw and slurped it in his own, whole without even chewing. Another angry pleasure shudder coursed through his body, heralding another dense waterfall of cum into the monster’s throat.
Of the terrifying worm, soon remained only a deflated husk, burnt black and mangled. Finally, its last death throes petered out like the squeaks of party balloons rubbed together, and then it fell silent and turned to dust.
With its fuel source drained, Wald’s unnatural cold lust faded as well. His dick spat out an ultimate dollop of viscous glow-cum that got lost into the rainbow vortex, then finally dropped limp. The member was still oversized and shining like a firefly’s ass, but it seemed a little dimmer and its mass a little less absurd.
Wald was left dazed and panting. Violence and anger pulsed at his temples, but without a target, they quickly retreated to a dull headache at the back of his skull. Blinking owlishly, he looked down at the dreadful appendages now attached to his wrists and the sickly stripes of black-purplish flesh crisscrossing his body.
He flexed the too-many articulations of each of his fourteen gnarly fingers.
“…at least they’re symmetrical?” he breathed out, too mentally exhausted for anything else.
Or rather, what he said was, “…ha’ hee’ hey hy’eh’hi’ah?”
His new mouthful of ill-arrayed fangs and tusks wasn’t very conducive to speech.
He could only hope the goddesses had told the truth, that this body was only a manifestation of his soul and not a reflection of how he’d look once in their world. Unfortunately, though, he could only guess at what his soul’s awful state entailed for his future.
As Wald worried, he suddenly glimpsed between his monstrous digits at a pure white gap straight below. What seemed like the eye of the rainbow vortex was rushing towards him at a frightening speed. His eyes widened. He tried to brace himself. But in this space, distance perception failed him once again.
He was not remotely ready when the intra-dimensional spirit tunnel spat him out in pure blackness.
The real world crashed over him all at once. The sensations of the corporal were a brutal shock to the system, and he marvelled how he ever confused the distorted senses of a spiritual body to the real deal.
At the same time, his own weight settled into place, and he groaned under the sudden strain—startled at how heavy he felt… and what an uncomfortably hard chair he was in.
His eyes tried to pierce the darkness around him—but in vain.
Panic rose from his gut. Had the goddesses made a mistake? Was he back in the Void? But this wasn’t the spirit world anymore. How could this be? HOW COULD THIS B––
Wait.
My eyes are closed, aren’t they?
Wald suddenly felt very dumb.
He opened his eyes.
Wald found himself in a dark, dank, incredibly vast cave. Twisted statues surrounded him at a distance, looking like people stretched and distorted to impossible spindly lengths and screaming in agony—like something out of the ending of Junji Ito’s Amigara Fault.
…great. He sighed bitterly. Just great. What was he expecting? A nice-looking throne room with a slightly haughty king demanding he fought some upstart demon lord? Maybe. At least, the transmigrated earthman could have done with stepping out of the horror genre for a little while. Was it too much to ask? A day or two of time off?
He had died today, dammit!
Following the distasteful sculptures upwards, Wald’s gaze met a single huge-ass stone eye glaring back down at him. It looked very irritated for just an eye, and Wald had the feeling it was annoyed at him, specifically. Some of the borrowed anger that had quieted down flared up. “What did I do to you? Piss off.”
A series of startled gasps below him snapped Wald’s attention down. At his feet were two weirdly small people. If he stood, they wouldn’t have reached to his waist. The pair appeared to have been in the middle of a tug-of-war over an ancient Egyptian necklace, a broad crescent made of glittering gold and gemstones, with one especially massive purple gem in its centre.
But now, both people were frozen and looking up at him, each still grasping one half of the necklace.
Despite his confusion over their size and circumstances, Wald was glad to finally see other humans after dealing with oppressive goddesses and evil void invertebrates.
Well… one of the two was a human… probably. The other, Wald was even less sure. They looked somewhat like a potato given life and wrapped in a cowl. Their hood was thrown back to reveal a mostly bald head with scarce patches of long reedy hair, above a face seeming like a toddler had attempted to mould one out of wet clay—and failed horribly.
But in fairness, the woman’s body too was very abnormal. Her utter lack of clothing showcased proportions right out of a hentai, a full-body tattoo that made Wald’s itchy just looking at it, and a face so unbelievably pretty it dipped into the uncanny valley. Her surreal beauty was only marred by a busted lip and a bleeding gash below her left eye.
Something about the woman called to him, a strange sentiment of kinship and… ownership. It was as if she– she–
Wald’s thoughts stuttered to a crawl.
Busted lip… Bleeding…
From the depth of his soul where they’d retreated, the boundless hate and lust for violence surged forth, flooding his brain. Who dared–!? A wrathful roar bubbled up his throat. His eyes narrowed onto the cloaked potato, the likely culprit—and Wald was in no state of mind for careful considerations.
The roar burst out in a terrible porcine squeal. Wald pushed off his seat, ready to squish the rapidly paling potato to a pulp—but he was held back. Thick chains tied him to the stone throne, wrapped around his bulging biceps and enormous gut. Wald growled angrily. Grabbing the offending metal links, he flexed his muscles, and with a mighty war cry, they shattered in his grasp.
He stood his full towering height, glaring hateful daggers at the walking corpse who dared hurt his woman– property– mate– slave– ward–
Again, his thought stuttered in a fit of white noise, like a radio with a lousy signal. Warring instincts tugged him towards conflicting denominations. But all agreed that she was his, and that this lowly, puny, measly, insignificant sub-creature had committed their last mistake in hurting her.
The potato’s brief flash of relief faded as soon as the chains snapped. They tried to flee, rushing down the Mayan-styled black pyramid they all stood on. Wald was faster. Despite almost slipping on something crunchy and wet—maybe a large bug—he caught onto the fleeing potato in less than half-a-dozen leaping steps, jumping ahead of them down the stairs and snatching up the offender inside his giant three-fingered paw.
Wald didn’t bother talking. Words were wasted on such unworthy prey-creature.
He merely brought the screaming runt to his mouth and bit their heads right off. It crunched under his tusks, like biting into a lollipop. A figment of the cold-foul pleasure from the void fiend’s flesh entered his body. It was barely enough to notice, but enough that Wald devoured the rest of his catch greedily—cloak and all—and even licked the blood off his pudgy fingers.
“Trash should know their place,” he huffed, not one bit satisfied with this feeble appetiser, but briefly content to have squashed a disgusting insect. Then, he turned around and lumbered back upstairs to the top of the pyramid.
He spotted his mate where he’d left her. Oddly, instead of being ready to attend to him, she was kneeling on the ground, turned away, and savagely attacking the golden necklace with a bloodied dagger. Although, her puny strikes failed to leave any mark.
Wald’s face twitched in anger. He should have punished the wench for her insolent distraction!
However, he was feeling merciful on this glorious day of his resurrection!
So he stood to the side, his eyes roaming hungrily over his mate’s bodacious form, her big swinging milkers and large, good birthing hips. He licked his thick lips. Yes. Good. Very good. She would make a fine horde-mother once he started pumping mighty warriors in-between those juicy thighs. Just the thought was making his potent weapon rise and stiffen, like a hound who’d caught the scent of a wounded rabbit.
While late, his mate finally noticed his majestic presence. “Master!” she called, the title like sweet music to Wald’s floppy ears. Teary eyes like two precious amethysts met his as she presented him with the necklace. “I’m sorry! I can’t break it!”
Can’t break that necklace? Why would Wald care? What silliness what his mate up to? He hoped she wasn’t weak in the head. It wouldn’t do for his warrior-sons to inherit her daftness. “Woman,” he grunted in a deep, guttural voice that echoed like thunder through the dark cave. “Why the fuck would I–”
“–oh! OH!! Make sure you put the necklace on yourself! Don’t let someone else do it! That’s, like, the most important!”
Wald paused, his ears twitching as a faint female voice buzzed inside—like an annoying fly. But why would he listen to some insane goddess? In fact, why would one such as him listen to anyone?
“–the most important!”
The voice echoed again, insistent and irritating. Wald groaned. Fine. He’d put the damn necklace on. It did look quite splendorous, fitting for a great ruler. He opened his palm. “Woman. Give it to me,” he ordered.
His mate obeyed with pleasant eagerness, eyes wide in awe and submissive. Wald smirked. He liked her more and more with each passing instant. After he took the necklace, she was about to step back, but he caught her by the head and dragged her towards his throbbing erection, already dripping precum to the floor.
“Pleasure your Master.”
Her face lit up with joy, and her tongue immediately started slathering the length of his awe-inspiring member. It was as long as she was tall, yet she showed not one sliver of hesitation. Truly a good find. Praise the goddess, Wald thought sardonically. He would have to try and not damage this one too badly when he made her his.
Before his eager little mate drove him to distraction, however, he focused on the necklace that the bimbo goddess’ voice in his skull kept nagging him about!
“–important!”
Okay! Okay! I’m putting it on. Geesh, woman. His big, thick fingers fumbled with the locks before managing to open them. Females shouldn’t be this outspoken. He couldn’t wait to have his turn at the busty divine slut again. He’d teach her her proper place as his breeding sow, and she would give him mighty horde warrior-sons indeed! He could see it! Wald the Conqueror, Father of Gods! –No. Ruler of Gods!
Now, that had a nice ring to it, didn’t it!
“Hahaha– Buhii! Buhahahahaha! Buhii! Buhii! Buhahaha!”
Laughing uproariously in anticipation of his future triumphs, Wald put on his new necklace and somehow managed to shut the locks.
The purple jewel at its core flashed once.
Wald’s eyes rolled back, and unconscious, he collapsed backwards and tumbled down the stairs.
. . .
Male x Eldritch being. Who would've thought that would become a tag I become interested in
Haha...
It's always good to learn new things about oneself... probably.
If you put a mind control necklace on yourself, you gain self-control? Anyways, nice horrible s*x scene! I really love your writing style
That's one way to look at it. And it was supposed to be a fight scene!
Thanks a lot for the nice words.
@MrSmee When your weapons are holy cock and purifying nut the lines between the two blur