The only way out of the creepy cave was a dark, steep and claustrophobic tunnel—a crack in the unnaturally smooth wall. Wald was usually okay with darkness, but not like this. Here, every shadow seemed like they hid a bloodthirsty murderer, a futuristic kill-bot, or a grinning goblin with a rusty knife.

The goddess had told Wald little about what kind of world to expect. Certainly, the existence of deities, elves, cultists, and weird space-bending monuments evoked the classic medieval fantasy flair. But Wald didn’t want to assume and get butchered by a surprise cyber-ninja with katana chainsaws for hands.

Neither did he know how dangerous the place was. He could only expect the worst and hope to be pleasantly surprised. But, somehow, he doubted that would be the case.

Lacking context, he could only experiment as he walked.

“Status.”

No convenient all-powerful cheat System answered his call, making his face flush in embarrassment. Yeah, well… Had to try. Maybe something else?

“Open status?”

Again, the world offered no reaction.

Please kill me now.

Progress up the tunnel was uncomfortable. Wald’s supersized new body scraped against the rough stone walls, and his unfamiliar shape played tricks with his balance. The ceiling was low and as uneven as the floor. Twice already, he’d bumped his head. This passage clearly resulted from natural erosion rather than tools. Only in some especially hazardous sections, steps were added or a piece of rock carved out.

Still, he soldiered forth. He had to, needed to get away from that unsettling cave, its eldritch pyramid and its cyclopean eye. That visceral urge was quickly validated as, with every step, Wald’s mind slowly cleared up.

The relief was indescribable—and it helped keep his thoughts off the naked wet dream sleeping in his arms.

The eerily erotic woman had lost conscious shortly post-coitus. Wald’s attempts at waking her had been met with half-intelligible mumbles about “ascending to true freedom”, “purging the heretics in flames”, and “establishing the New World Order.”

Yep. All very reasonable and consensual things to dream about.

Wald didn’t know what to think about the blissful grin on her face.

At least she didn’t seem to be in any pain.

Regardless of his companion’s potential religious fascism and fanaticism, he’d chosen to carry her away rather than wait in Cthulhu’s summer home for her to awaken. He would apologise later if need be. He’d been surprised how light she was. She certainly seemed a lot of woman, but her weight was less than a feather.

In his embrace, she peacefully slumbered, smiling as she hugged her bloody dagger and rested her head against Wald’s disgraceful squishy man-boob.

Her own ludicrous tits jiggled like jelly whenever he stumbled, threatening to spill over. He had no choice but to hold her close—sweet torture. Her cool body was moulded into his flesh. Any inch of contact with her soft skin sent small electric bolts into his nerves. Her left nipple came distractingly close to his chin and even tickled him at times.

What this did to his libido was evident, and Wald’s monstrous cock had been rigid since he’d left the cave, so big and hard it held up his fat belly without bending.

Maybe he could enter his pole in a weightlifting competition.

The rampant horniness plaguing his new body had not gone anywhere. At least, it became easier to disregard the further he climbed from the cave. Wald sincerely hoped his passenger had not left anything important behind. He was unsure whether he could make himself go back. The mere thought made him nauseous.

Easier did not mean effortless, though. So, for now, he focused his freed-up mind RAM on short term necessities. Food, clothes, and exchanging names with his companion seemed priorities. Close second came a bath, knowledge of their location, and how to return to the surface.

Assuming the outside world isn’t a nuclear wasteland or something.

Understandably, the reluctant reincarnator wasn’t in the most optimistic mood.

For a long while, Wald walked in silence—save for the occasional swearing when he slipped or hit his head on a piece of low ceiling.

Until suddenly, the narrow tunnel opened up.

The ceiling shot upwards, and the ground plunged into an inscrutable abyss. Without warning, Wald stood on the edge of a precipice. He stopped dead. A large pebble dislodged by his foot tumbled down the cliff. The sound of its fall gradually faded away without ever hitting bottom.

“Shit!” Wald hurriedly retreated to a safe distance and considered his options.

It was clear the chasm wasn’t impassable. A bridge spanned the gap—but located a short way to his left, as if the builder had misjudged the tunnel’s location. Although “bridge” was a generous title for the narrow stone walkway. Wald was almost expecting an RPG party to come running across, fleeing to the sound of epic brass instruments, chased by a giant of shadows and fire.

Fortunately, no such thing happened.

Nevertheless, the construction was old—very old—and in obvious disrepair. Cracks spread across the ancient stone in several places, and it was impossible to tell how deep they cut. Would it support Wald’s weight? He had severe doubts.

He looked down at the sleeping beauty snuggled in his arms. “Feel like waking up, princess?” he joked. “I could use some advice about right now.”

To his surprise, she actually started to wake. Well, it had been a while, maybe over an hour. Of course, it was hard to tell time, being naked underground.

“Mmmh…” The woman rubbed her eyes cutely as she stirred. “Master? Is it morning already?”

An incredulous smile tugged at Wald’s lips. Is it even legal to be simultaneously this lewd and cute? In answer, his dick jerked—hard—sending ripples up his fat belly. His vision swam, and he swallowed a loud groan. Fuck!

When his eyesight cleared, he found himself staring into beautiful confused jewels.

His brain froze. Awkwaaaaaard.

“Hi… err… So… Sorry to wake you up.” Given his brain’s sudden fry-up, his mouth defaulted to running on autopilot. “We’ve come to a crevice, and the bridge doesn’t look that safe. So I was wondering, is there another path across? If not, you should probably go first. And… err… I guess this is the moment I ask you where we are and how to get out. Ah, and clothes. Those would be nice to find. Food too. What’s your name anyway? I don’t think I caught it before, before, err, you know…”

Oh, by God, shut up! By all the gods! Jesus fuck!

This was too much for Wald. He was just a loner fast-food cook whose sexual history would fit on a post-it note! He wasn’t prepped for this shit!

After enduring his avalanche of words, the woman finally seemed to realise the position they were in, and her entire body flushed bright red. With her purple tattoos, she looked very much like some succubus—which might be fitting.

“M-M-Master!? Why are you– Oh, this is so shameful!” Her expression melted to horror. “I can’t believe I made you debase your holy self to carrying me!” She wiggled awkwardly to try and get out off, but Wald was frozen solid, locking her in place. Then her frantic gaze landed on the dagger in her hands. “My sin is unforgivable! My Lord, let me offer my own life as penance!”

She aimed the blade at her throat, and a switch flipped in Wald’s staggered brain. Before he realised, he’d dropped the woman’s legs and had snatched the dagger from her. “What do you think you’re doing?!” he snapped. “No one’s committing ritual suicide on my account. Got it?”

Violet eyes stared back owlishly.

“Got it?” he repeated more sternly, like he was talking to a particularly slow part-time student. Burt sometimes hired those at the dinner, and they were often a pain to work with.

“B-But, Master, I–”

“No buts!” Wald cut her off. “Besides, killing yourself is a terrible way to make amends. That’s just running away from responsibilities and leaving others to deal with the consequences of your mistake. Think about those things!”

“I’m sorry, Master. I…” The stunned woman laid two fingers on her forehead. “You are right, of course. I… I don’t know what I was thinking.” Throughout, her eyes kept shifting to the dagger, like a child whose favourite toy was being withheld.

Wald sighed. “I’ll give you the knife back, but only on the condition, there be no self-injury involved. Is that clear?”

“I hear and obey, Master!” Then, she startled him by suddenly prostrating herself on the ground. “I’ll live through the full responsibility of my sins!”

What the– Something was seriously wrong with the woman. “That’s– You know what? Fine. As long as you understand.” Wald figured he had to choose his battles. “Just, please, stand up.”

Seeing her obscene body folded submissively at his feet was sparking all sorts of weird thoughts. His hard cock trembled like a caged beast anxious to be released, and Wald had to fight through a fit of vertigo. Shit. Something’s seriously wrong with me.

Thankfully, the woman obeyed swiftly.

She grabbed the dagger as soon as Wald handed it over. “Keep the pointy end away from yourself, okay?” he warned her again, and she nodded eagerly. Then her gaze shifted to the throbbing monster in his lower gut.

“Master, do you wish I relieve—”

“Maybe when we’re in a safer, more comfortable place,” Wald cut her off before he had time to reconsider. He’d meant to say ‘no’, but this was close enough.

“As you desire, Master.”

“My name’s Wald. Just call me that.” Somehow, being called Master turned him on far too much. It scared him.

“I couldn’t!” The woman recoiled. “Someone as lowly as me, using Master’s sacred name!? It would be a sin!”

Oh, for the love of–

Wald dragged a hand over his face. He instantly hated the disturbing sensation of his fat flesh giving way and stopped, moving his hand away. “Look… This Master thing… I’d feel more comfortable– No, I would be very pleased if you used my given name.”

Her face flushed. “If… If Master says so.” She squirmed, rubbing her thick thighs together, and licked her full lips hesitantly. “M… Master W-Waruto!” she then squealed.

I’m sorry, what? It suddenly dawned on Wald that the woman wasn’t speaking English. And more shockingly, neither was he. They’d been using a dialect that sounded eerily like Japanese—except the words matched nothing Wald recognised. Admittedly, his vocabulary was very much limited to anime catchphrases.

How– Right. Didn’t the Sun Goddess mention a language blessing?

Snapping out of his stupor, Wald shook both hands. “No, no, no. Wald. Wald,” he enunciated exaggeratedly. No way was he letting anyone call him Waruto. Several tries later, her pronunciation had definitely improved but still wasn’t quite there.

“I’m deeply sorry, Master Waldo,” the naked beauty apologised sadly, staring at her fee– at her boobs, which were in the way. “I’m useless.”

Aw… great… Now I feel like a dick.

Wald sighed. “It’s fine, really. I’m just a bit touchy about my name. Personal issues. Don’t worry about it.” His mind flashed back to high school. For years he’d been mocked as ‘Dick Dick Willy Wood’. He shivered.

Children could be cruel, sometimes.

“Is there really no way I can persuade you to drop the ‘Master’ bit?”

She bit her plump lip nervously. The gesture was distractingly erotic, and Wald scrunched his eyes through another heat wave. He almost missed her soft reply.

“If that is Master’s command.”

Despite her agreement, he could tell that his refusal of the title distressed her deeply. He didn’t understand, but he also didn’t have it in him to force her for his convenience.

He’d just have to suffer being worshipped and constantly turned on.

Oh, indeed, woe is me.

He capitulated. “Master is fine.”

“Oh! Thank you, Master Waldo!” She leapt to embrace him. “Thank you! Thank you!”

“Yes. Yes.” He tried to gently push her away before an incident occurred. “I get it. I’m very magnanimous. Praise me… Then what about you? Sorry. I never ask your name.”

The crazy woman abruptly stopped trying to shover her tits in his face, her mouth forming a silent ‘o’. Steppin back, she bowed gracefully—and gravity taunted Wald’s resolve.

“I’m once again ashamed by my lack of basic etiquette. This slave was granted the name Vulvia, Master Waldo.”

Vulvia? Wald failed to repress a sympathetic wince. “Wait, you said ‘granted’? Who named you?”

Whom do I need to punch?

“Sir Voice named me, Master.”

“And where is that Sir Voice, right now?” he growled menacingly. “Was he the hunchback?”

“That was Hand, his assistant.” Vulvia’s expression darkened. “Sir Voice broke his covenant with the Master and attempted to enslave you…” She suddenly grinned and proudly raised her dagger. “So I stabbed him!”

“I… see.” Wald’s eye twitched. Was it bad that he found her very cute at this moment? “I guess… Thank you? It sounds like I owe you one.”

“Oh, never!” She swooned at his words. “I exist to serve the Master.”

“Right…”

“Also, I am confident Master would have been just fine! Even though your lowly slave failed to eviscerate that treacherous, filthy Sir Voice, Master Waldo smote him easily underfoot in his magnificent true form!”

“Uh-huh.”

So, that’s what I nearly slipped on. Wald’s memories of coming out of the wormhole were blurry, but he did remember some.

Oddly, the thought of having ended a life didn’t bother Wald overmuch. Rather, his apathy over the fact upset him more. He’d killed someone, and he didn’t care. So what did that make him?

Actually, he remembered, he’d killed two someones.

He’d eaten that hunchback.

Eaten.

God. Why would I do that? Hunger lanced his stomach as if in answer. Saliva flooded between his teeth, and a memory of a delicious snack forced its way to the surface. Wald’s fingers dug into his obese grit. His other hand covered his face shakily. Fuck. What is wrong with me? What did those goddesses do to me?

“Master? Master?? Is something wrong? Did I make a mistake?”

Blinking, Wald looked at his self-appointed slave. Seeing her worry for him, he smiled and ruffled her hair. Her expression soothed instantly. What a pair we make, he thought fondly. “No, of course not. You did nothing wrong, Vul… Can I call you Via?”

“Of course, Master.” She caught his hand and kissed his palm worshipfully as she had done before. “I’m happy with whatever you desire.”

“Yeah… I’m starting to get that.” Wald smiled wrily. Having that much power over someone was daunting—and perhaps a bit addictive. He’d have to watch himself. He had a feeling if he were to order her to throw herself off a bridge, she’d do it in a heartbeat and with a smile on her face. “–Ah! Right. The bridge.”

He’d let himself get quite side-tracked.

But, hey, that was one item off his priority list.

He pointed at the stone gangway crossing over the abyss. “Via, do you know if that’s safe to cross?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “Sir Voice led me through on our way down.”

“So it does lead to the surface, huh,” Wald muttered to himself.

“At least, it leads to the place where I was detained.”

“Detained? Why–” No. That conversation could wait. “Are there any more cultists?”

Via lowered her head. “I’m sorry, Master. I don’t know.”

“It’s alright.” He patted her sinfully soft purple hair and, again, eyed the bridge worriedly. “Is there any other path?”

“Not that I… ah… know of,” Via mumbled dreamily as she pressed her head harder into his touch.

“I guess that settles it.” Wald sighed. “You go first.”

“Yes, Master!” Without hesitation, the buxom beauty headed over. Wald’s eyes couldn’t help lock on her bountiful naked rump. Seeming to feel his gaze, Via glanced back, blushed, and then kept walking—but her broad hips had gained some extra sway.

Wald groaned as his dick all but lurched forwards. Dammit! I’m trying to be reasonable here! Fortunately(?), anxiety then countered his arousal while he watched her cross the chasm. He only released his breath when she was safe on the other side, waving back at him.

“Okay. My turn,” Wald mumbled, trying to summon some courage.

Taking his first step on the cracked stone arc, Wald made the mistake of looking down. The bottomless dark abyss stared back. Fuck. His heart jumped into his throat, and he sharply shifted his gaze up. Don’t do that! Ahead! Look ahead! Focus on Via, you dunce!

That, at least, was easy to do.

“You’re doing great, Master! You’re almost halfway!” Maybe picking up on his nervosity, the wonderful woman was cheering him on. A part of him wanted to shush her, afraid she’d attract some unspeakable monster. However, a much larger part was too happy for the distraction to care, as Wald’s brain had just decided to remind him of his fear of heights.

Going slowly, he shuffled along the bridge at a glacial pace, listening for any cracking sound—assuming he would be able to hear anything over his own thumping heartbeat.

Wald was two thirds through, and starting to believe everything might work out… when the bridge shuddered.

He froze.

Another tremor shook the rock under Wald’s feet. It wasn’t an earthquake because everything else stood still. Even the air seemed to hold its breath.

The bridge shuddered a third time, along with an ominous groan of tortured stone.

Wald bolted.

As if it had been waiting for his cue, the collapse started in earnest. Wald didn’t look back, but he could hear the splintering stone and see the horror overtaking Via’s face.

“Master! Hurry!”

What do you think I’m doing?!

But he was too slow. Finally, the cracks overtook him, and he felt the floor dislocate beneath him. Then, for one heartbeat, time stood still.

Wald realised he was about to die—again.

Fear and denial jolted throughout his body. Power he didn’t suspect surged down his limbs. He kicked off the falling bridge chunks and jumped.

He flew.

Wald shot across the rest of the gap.

No.

It was going to be too short.

Via’s expression, which had been shifting to hopeful awe, returned right back to horror as her master started to drop below the edge.

In a last-ditch effort, Wald threw his arms forwards.

No one was more startled than him when he actually caught onto the top of the cliff—or rather the short piece of the bridge that still held. The surprise lasted half a second before his belly roughly impacted rock. “Oofffff!” All the air was expelled off his lungs, and small black dots danced in his sight.

Dizzy, he tried to pull himself up, but instead, he felt cracked stone give way under his thick fingers.

“Master! Master, take my hands!” Wald looked up. Past two pale outstretched arms, his gaze locked with terrified amethyst eyes.

A dry chuckle escaped him. Well, that was to be expected.

“Stand back, you fool.”

Instinctively, Via obeyed, retreating from the crumbling edge.

Wald smiled. “Don’t jump, okay?”

The last remains of the bridge crumbled under Wald’s tenuous grasp, and he plunged into the abyss, fast falling away from the beautiful figure who soon became a lonely speck of white against surrounded by obscurity.

“MAAAAASTERRRRRRRRRRR!!!”

. . .