Chapter 18: Bonds…
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After a while of being in Alijah’s arms, I drifted again, bathing in a warmth that made me feel safe. Though, the next time I opened my eyes, I would instinctively raise to find my wolf missing. Instead of him, Caden, who was by the base of the bed, turned to me upon noticing my movements. Even though I should have been happy to see my brother, I was not.

“Rem,” Caden called.

I gazed around, unable to find Alijah in the room with us.

Where is he?

The warmth his touch gave me still lingered on my skin. So, he could not have gone too far.

“Where is Alijah?” I asked my brother.

He moved next to me and grabbed my chin to inspect me. It annoyed me a bit.

Why is he always a worrywart?

Though he seemed more worried than usual. I mean… I could not blame him for what happened the day before. Even if I wanted it all to be haze. I remembered everything.

“Alijah went to the bathroom. How are you feeling, though?” Caden informed, trying to shift the attention back into me.

Ignoring him, I tried to find my way up from the bed only to tumble. My legs were not used to being utilized. Thankfully, my brother swiftly caught me before I landed on the floor. They had used magic to keep my physic, but the suddenness of it all made me forget I had been sleeping for a while.

I had to move slow. Yet again, my brain would not calculate normally.

“Rem, stop,” Caden growled, knowing full well I needed to be sluggish.

I did not want to listen to him. All I wanted was to be with Alijah. If he were in the bathroom, then so would I. Though that seemed possessive.

Oh… I am turning too domineering, aren’t I? No matter...

Remembering how weak he seemed while we laid in the bed made me want to bolt out of here.

“I have to find him.” I tried to argue while in his arms.

Caden sighed and held me at arm's reach. This allowed me to get my footing. Though my legs still felt sluggish. He seemed somewhat annoyed by me, too.

This isn’t good…

A lecture was coming for me.

“No, you don’t. What you must do is rest! Plus, I doubt he would like you to see him in that state.” My irritating brother pointed out, not letting me go.

Though at that point I stopped. Instead, I gazed at him. Alijah seemed like he was in pain before.

Is he sick? Is he hurt? Did Midnight do something to him other than give him some weird markings?

Thoughts bombarded me. She promised to not hurt him. Yet I could not trust her.

“What?” I mumbled.

My brother’s words fed into my worries that were already sky-high. Noticing my change in demeanor, he tried backtracking.

“He will be better soon.” Caden tried to reassure me.

Aiden walked into the room with something in his hands. Though I could not care less what he had. On the floor, though, there was a sleeping bag, which made me realize they had both been sleeping in my room.

Annoying duo… Overbearing…

I probably would have flipped if I were not more preoccupied with Alijah’s wellbeing. If only they were more helpful.

“What happened?” I asked Caden, who bit into his lip, reluctant to tell me.

It seemed Alijah had told them not to tell me, but I wanted to know. No, I had to know why he seemed so off in my dreamscape. Caden was always easy to break when I was the one asking. And I knew exactly what I needed to do to make him answer me.

“Please, brother?” I tried to do my most adorable pose.

His eyes seemed to shimmer before taking a deep breath.

“Look, just don’t worry, okay?” Caden began.

I nodded slightly, trying to not give any hints about how I would react.

“Alijah drank a bit of wolfsbane to use the spell to reach you.” He informed.

I gripped onto my chest, feeling fully responsible for that. If I had not locked myself away like a coward, he would have never done that.

Wolfsbane out of everything... Why... I... Damn it.

“Wolfsbane?” I mumbled.

My heart dropped upon realizing it really happened. If… Alijah drunk that deadly thing, then there was no way he was fine.

“He will be fine, though. Trust me, sis. Vera has been giving him some more of the antidote mom made for Iris. He is still queasy. And what that bird did to him probably is playing another role on it. So, he…” Caden tried to explain.

Suddenly, I wormed my way out of his grip, successfully cutting him off before he could finish. I could hear him call for me, turning around to try to catch me. Luckily, Aiden had a platter in his hands to help him. A second later, I was out the door.

All I wanted was to see Alijah. I did not care in what a sorry state he was in. This stood even more as if he had wolfsbane or iris in his system. Though once I was outside, I stopped in my tracks when I noticed Vera and Alijah by the end of the hall. She handed him something.

Is it the medicine?

Though… The way they interacted seemed off. Even though she seemed to want nothing to do with him, something in her eyes was odd. My wolf, though, could not care less about how she was interacting with him. He grabbed the vile only for her to clasp onto his shirt and tell him something I could never hear. I wished I had super hearing like normal Lycans. It… was suspicious.

Though Alijah seemed more annoyed than happy by her interruption. I wonder what he was saying back to her, too.

“Oi, what are you doing?” Caden growled from behind, grabbing me by my gown and dragging me back inside the room.

Before I knew it, he sat me down on the table. In front of me was a plate full of food. So this was what Aiden had brought. Seeing Alijah already making his way back here made me feel better. Though… I wanted to know what they were talking about. Vera's expression made my heart unsteady. She never was like that with anyone else.

Aiden had his arms crossed next to me, which was intimidating. It caused me instinctively to gaze down.

Oh… he isn’t happy either.

Probably no one was after what I had done. I guess I deserved a scolding, as Vera said. Would Alijah also feel the same? Surely he did.

“Eat up, dumbass,” Aiden growled at me, unhappy about my stunt to escape.

Caden huffed a bit before sitting on the bed. He shook his head, disappointed in me too. Releasing a sigh, I tried to let go of the feeling that I felt when Vera was with Alijah.

Surely, I am imagining it? Am I crazy? Probably… but… It is weird. I mean, Vera had boyfriends before… I mean… Alijah and I… are we even dating?

We had not even had the time to label what we are yet. My insecurities were still vivid.

I mean… he told me he loves me! He even came for me. We must be dating, right? Right?

Even after my wolf said those things to me. I felt insecure. Even after everything that happened yesterday, I really was a pathetic girl. It was silly of me to think I would not feel this way when I left that place.

Midnight was wrong about me. I was no god slayer.

What type of god slayer goes on and on about boy problems!? Well, just one…

Vera usually was not like that towards anyone either. She always held an image of a cool beauty, not the brat she seemed to be with Alijah. It almost seemed as she was… trying to hate him on purpose.

Why though? It can’t be that she… Possible… No… Impossible. That can’t happen.

 My heart was confused. Taking a bite of the meal in front of me, I tried to not think of useless things. Though they were present either way. My brothers called my parents to notify them I was up and eating.

It seemed they were out today, too. Dad was probably having a meeting with the council with Mom about me. Seconds later, though, the door opened to reveal Alijah, who smiled tenderly the moment he saw me up. His eyes seemed so gentle.

Had they always been like that?

“Rem, finally, you’re up.” Alijah smiled.

I sat there with a piece of bread in my mouth, looking like an idiot in front of him yet again. His smile dumbfounded me. As well as the joy in his eyes melted me right where I was. Though he did not care about how I appeared, instead he took a seat next to me. He patted my hair lovingly while I found myself unable to take my eyes off him.

‘Did he always have that gentle air around him?’

I could not figure it out. No, it was even more soothing than before. It almost caused me to avert my eyes from my wolf. I could not handle it. Even his new appearance was eye-catching.

Is he okay with just me? Compared to Vera, I… I… am no god slayer.

Midnight had to be wrong about me. I was a useless luma.

Hah, I really am not the one for this task at all.

For a moment, Alijah gazed at me, trying to figure out what was going on in my little head. I was eerily quiet. Attempting to avoid it, I gazed towards the window, finishing my meal.

I really am a handful, huh?

Though it was not long until something caught my eye outside of the manor windows. My eyes widened at the usual orbs that I used to see in the distance. There was a floating old man. Suddenly, all the orbs changed shapes, all to have humanoid forms. It triggered me to stand up from my chair, startling everyone around.

I glued my eyes to the window. Had... my power...

“Rem?” Alijah called out to me, following my gaze towards the window.

My body shimmered purple. Suddenly, I bolted out of the door and towards the roof of the manor. I almost crashed into a few people on the way there. Vera, Amelia, and maids almost became roadkill. My wolf and my brothers tried to keep up with me.

Getting to the patio, I climbed up onto the roof. A place I had not been since I fell all those years ago. Voices rang in my ears. The spirits that were floating around congregated near me. While the wolves found their way up to me.

The voices of the ghosts were muddled even when Alijah was not around. But now I could see and hear them so clearly. I could even see who they used to be in their past life. This was something new.

“Can you hear them?” I asked the crowd, who were gathering because of my run through the manor.

Alijah slowly came towards me. I could not shift my eyes away from them. It was fascinating, yet disturbing. Not all ghosts were pleasant to the eyes.

“Yes,” Alijah answered.

It caused me to turn to him. There I saw his left eye responding to my magic. Midnight's handy work. She bound us together in more ways than one.

“Can you see them?” I continued to query, wondering to what extent he could perceive them.

My brothers seemed confused by what I was saying. It seemed they could not see them as I did.

“Yes.” Alijah continued, taking a few steps towards me.

I turned back to the spirits, who were greeting me. Unlike before...

“The voices of the dead are so clear to me. I could probably find Edna like this.” I smirked, trying to concentrate my magic into one place.

Alijah grabbed onto my hand, suddenly shutting me off as if he were a switch. It baffled me.

“No.” He announced.

I gazed at him, utterly confused. Did he not want to end this too?

“Why?” I mumbled.

He sighed.

“You aren’t ready, love,” Alijah announced.

His words caused me to narrow my eyes. It annoyed me. I tried to pull away, only for him not to let me. Instead, he picked me up as if I were some type of sack hanging over his shoulder.

“What are you doing?!? I can do this!” I growled, not happy with my treatment.

Though I was utterly powerless to stop him.

“Oh, stupid little luma. Where do I even begin? Your magic is highly unstable. You are not combat-ready. As a matter of fact, everything about you is volatile at the moment. Using that might lead you to another trap or worse. A liability I can’t allow to happen.” Alijah pointed out.

I felt torn apart by what he had said. He pulled no punches. Even so... he did not have to be so straight up, either. I just desired to finish this. To free me from her grip, too.

“But…” I grumbled.

He jumped down from the roof back onto the patio, placing me down as my brothers joined us, too. Grabbing onto my cheeks, he placed his forehead against mine again.

“I didn’t just get you back so I would lose you again, Rem! Get that through your head. I don’t care if you want to get even with the witch. I won’t lose you ever again.” Alijah declared.

In an instant, my heart was stolen. Some maids that had gathered around giggled at the event. Even saying that the manor was finally back to normal. It seemed it had been too quiet without me.

The wolf I adored tugged me along back to the room. I could not argue with him, not after everything I put him through. We took a quick pit stop at the bathroom before getting back. Though Caden and Aiden had both been following us the whole way there. They did not allow Alijah to come into the bathroom with me.

However, the moment we got back to my room, that changed. My wolf turned to them and smirked.

“We need a moment for ourselves.” Alijah suddenly announced.

My brothers seemed to have been caught by surprise by it. In their minds, they were going to stay over another night. Or forever...

“What?” Aiden and Caden mumbled, standing by the door.

Alijah sighed, sitting me down on the bed before turning back to them.

“You two pups should really get going.” Alijah grabbed both my brothers, Caden by the ear and Aiden by the tail, dragging them out of the room.

My wolf threw them out like they were a couple of rags.

“Now… tell Fenris and Lily to give Rem and me until tonight. There is a lot we must talk about.” Alijah smirked at them, closing the door on them, and locking it soon after.

Placing his hand on the sigil, he turned it, making the room soundproof. The moment he turned back towards me; my heart felt like it would pop out of my chest. I stared at him, not knowing what was going on.

“Your brothers are a handful.” Alijah sighed.

I slowly nodded. It was a miracle that they did not barge through the door. My wolf must have earned their respect much more than I thought. I mean… Caden seemed fond of him, too.

“They can be,” I mumbled in awe of Alijah and what he had done.

The surrounding air really differed from when I last saw him. I felt like I had missed a lot. Instantly, I glanced down at the ground. It was hard to face him alone. I did not even know what to say anymore.

Alijah remedied it by grabbing me by my chin, pulling me up to face him. The short hair looked great on him, too. Even the bangs he had were tempting to touch. The effects of Midnight were also lingering on him. The tattoos seemed they were permanent. I did not know what I was expecting.

“Oi, don’t you dare run away from me,” Alijah growled, making sure I would not look away from him.

I struggled to appease him in that order. But... I would not gaze away from him anymore. Whatever my wolf was going to do to me, I deserved it. I earned all the pain that he wanted to inflict on me, too.

I also hoped he would not be gentle, but the way he held me. It felt like he had something precious in his hands.

“I won’t run.” I simpered.

In response, he pushed me onto the bed, towering over me. For a moment, I could feel my cheeks go pink as he placed his thumb on my lip. Slowly leaning over to my ear, too.

“What is on your mind?” Alijah murmured in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

I grabbed onto his white blouse. He was teasing me.

“A lot…” I mumbled, closing my eyes.

 Everything felt surreal.

Is this even real? I...

“And that is?” Alijah asked, letting go of my chin.

His hand traveled downed my curves.

“Did you really drink, wolfsbane?” I followed up.

He instinctively sighed and shook his head.

“I did,” Alijah answered.

I grabbed onto his cheeks, unable to believe he would do something so stupid. So very reckless. It was not like him at all.

“Why would you do that?” I felt off and lost.

Why… would he try to save me by placing his own life in danger? Who would have benefited if he had died because of me? Ah... that reminds me of what he said that night... Fuck... Is this how he felt? I.. was a fool.

“Stupid girl. For you, I would give the world.” Alijah assured, suddenly clashing with my lips.

He did not give me a chance to speak back. No, his tongue slipped into my mouth, caressing mine lovingly. In turn, it left me with a warmth that slowly built within me. A mewl left my mouth soon after.

He lifted my gown to expose my breast, fondling them tenderly. The moment his flesh met with mine; I noticed something off in his right hand. Instinctively, I tugged away from the kiss and grabbed onto his hand. I saw a scar that was not there before.

When did…?

“Concentrate on me instead of those useless thoughts of yours.” Alijah licked my lip, pinning the hand that held his injured one on the bed.

His other hand traveled down my navel and into my underwear. His sudden touch made me shiver. Though I winced in discomfort when he tried to stick his fingers into me. Upon noticing my ache, he instantly stopped. It left me longing for more.

To me, it did not matter if there was pain or not. After all, it should have stung after what I had done to him. Though the discomfort was not painful, just a weird sensation.

“Right… It has been a while. Sorry.” Alijah apologized, pulling away from there.

Though he tugged down my underwear to expose me. My heart was about to explode. He was being gentle.

Why?

Before I could even finish that thought. He suddenly pulled me to the edge of the bed. Instinctively, I sat up to see what he was doing, as he kneeled on the floor.

“A-Alijah?” I fumbled to say.

He smiled, licking his fingers. A moment later, he spread my legs apart. I felt so exposed to him. Yet at the same time, everything felt so tender.

“Oh… I don’t know, love.” Alijah smirked playfully, tracing his fingers on my vulva.

It was not long before he stuck one of the moist fingers into me. A soft whine left my lips, struggling to not look away from him. My cheeks felt like they would fall off. This was almost too much.

“Wait, this is embarrassing,” I mumbled, feeling too hot to bear it.

He was too close for comfort. After all, his face had never been so close to my privates before. I mean, he had seen every part of me, but never from that close. He was not about to back off, either. His tail was slightly wagging, while his ears were fully concentrated on me.

“Does it feel better?” Alijah asked, thrusting his finger into me.

It felt weird, but also pleasant. Especially in all the places he was touching. He knew every part of me. His question left me feeling more skittish than I was before.

“D-don’t ask me that,” I mumbled.

A chuckle left my wolf's lips, not stopping his movements. Though his earlier words haunted me a bit.

“How long has it been?” I whispered, trying to hold my voice in check.

I gazed away from him and onto the bed frame. It had been a while since I felt like this. Even in my dreams would never compare to the real thing.

“Your brothers didn’t tell you?” Alijah sighed, taking out his finger from my walls.

The sudden emptiness caused me to tremble a bit. Everything felt so warm and tingly, though.

“No,” I answered.

Alijah placed both his hands on my thighs. Again, I could feel the deformity in his hand. I really wanted to ask him about how he got it. But he would have dodged it again. Probably… Instinctively, I gazed back at him. There I met with his crimson orbs.

“It has been a month with almost three weeks since I last touched you, Rem. That is unforgivable really.” Alijah informed gazing back towards me.

I clenched onto my gown while my eyes met with the bed again.

It had been an entire month? Almost two? How much did I miss? What did I miss?

Even though I wanted to know more, he would not let me. I felt something warm and moist touch my vulva. It was the first time I had ever felt anything like that. Instinctively, I glanced down to see him lick his lips before smiling gently.

“I have never done this before, so...” He mumbled to himself, licking my most sensitive area.

It had to be surreal.

“Alijah!” I gasped, grabbing onto his hair.

He held me in place. This could not be…

“Wait. I can’t.” I tried to get him to stop.

He continued to lap me without caring for a single complaint that was leaving my mouth.

Is this what he meant? When he said if I wanted to know what he was going to do with me? It is not fair, though. This… isn’t painful at all.

Mewls left my mouth while I begged him to stop, but he would not. Instead, he let go of my thighs and yanked me closer towards him. My bum was almost off the bed, too. Though the sudden full caused me to fall back onto the bed. Placing his left arm on my belly, he held me down. Suddenly, he shifted, losing himself into the moment.

This usually happened to Lycans, who got too into the act. Some lovers would run away when this happened. Though… he had never shifted before, no matter how wild he got. He was not the kind to lose control, either. However, there was no denying what was happening.

Before I knew it, a wolf’s paw held me down onto the bed while I panted for air. I gazed down to see what he was doing, only suddenly to feel his tongue go into me. His sharp teeth brushed on my skin slightly too. My back arched as I yelped his name, only to receive no response from him.

The only thing I got was the feeling of my wolf's breath on my groin. I clasped onto the sheets below me in an effort to get control. But it was no use. He was utilizing his beast form to lick my deepest depths. It was like his tongue was making love to me.

A familiar feeling rushed through me while my voice was out of my control. The feeling he was giving me was slowly driving me insane. My hips bucked on their own, too. This was the first time; I had ever felt something like this. Even when I grabbed onto Alijah’s snout, he did not stop.

The feel of my wolf's fur under my fingertips stimulated me further. There was no ounce of pain in the pleasure he was making me succumb. In an instant, my mind was white. Tears dripped from my eyes as my body convulsed with pleasure. This was unfair.

Alijah pulled out of me and shifted back to his humanoid form, grabbing onto my cheeks. He worried he had gone too far.

“Rem?” Alijah called out.

I tried to compose myself, but his touch was too much. Anything would make me jitter.

“Hey… are you okay? Did I go too far?” He fretted.

I failed to get a grip. This was all too much for me. Stupid, gentle wolf.

Why? This was not fair. Why not make it hurt? Why no revenge after what I did?

My guilt was eating away at me.

“It.. is… not fair,” I mumbled, out of breath.

Alijah tilted his head, unable to follow along. Taking the opportunity, I rolled him over. Now I was on top of him. My hands were still shaky, though. No, my whole body was.

“You were supposed to make it hurt.” Tears rolled down my eyes.

He sat up slightly when I was on him and cupped my cheeks.

“I will never hurt you. Not while I am in my right mind.” Alijah simpered.

I shook my head.

Why? Punish me. Please! Or else my guilt…

“It isn’t fair. I did all those things to you!” I cried.

Alijah sighed, pulling me into a passionate kiss. The moment he separated from my lips, he suddenly pushed me down to his groin. My heart could barely handle it. His pants were tented.

“I get it. Then make me feel good for your guilt.” He suddenly announced.

I was shocked.

He wants me to do what I did last time? Was I even any good? Did it not hurt him? I… don’t want to hurt him like that again. I think my teeth grazed him last time too. I...

“But I don’t know if I even did it right.” I worried.

Alijah chuckled, undoing his pants since I was being hesitant.

“I came into you, didn’t I?” Alijah reassured, taking his heat out in his hands before slowly stroking it.

It was...

“I want to see your face this time, though. That was the only thing that bothered me.” He licked his lips.

His eyes were full of desire, while I could not help but blush in response. He was not done, though.

“And, unlike last time, I will warn you. So, you don’t choke on it.” Alijah teased, chuckling.

I growled a bit, feeling the full weight of his words, grabbing onto his member. His free hands wiped my tears away from my cheeks. This… was more embarrassing than last time. Having his eyes on me made me feel odd. A good weird, though.

For a moment, I stared at his member as he sighed.

“If you don’t want to…” Alijah began, only for me to go for it at that moment.

A moan left his lips instead of the finished sentence. His hands moved from my cheeks to my hair, grabbing it in his fist. I tried to do what I had done last time, but a bit gentler. My wolf's grip on my hair shifted between gentle and rough with each passing moment. His hips bucked a bit.

“Rem, it’s good.” Alijah moaned, making me feel better about what I was doing.

I did not know how he knew I was insecure before. However, him saying it made me felt more confident. He rewarded my efforts with his voice. His hips move involuntarily, too. Much like mine did when he was licking me.

I took a quick peek up to see him enjoying it. His eyes were slightly open as his face was washed with pleasure. With the boost of confidence, I pumped him with my hands, taking him deeper. It triggered a nervous chuckle to come from him.

After a few more moments of trying to please him, he suddenly pulled me by my hair. It caused me to withdraw from his heat, though saliva dripping down my lips. He licked his lips and panted for air slightly.

“I am going to…” Alijah warned.

His eyes glowed slightly. The look in his eyes was addicting. And I wanted to see more of it.

“Why did you stop me then?” I asked, licking my lips temptingly.

He smirked and pinned me against the bed, leaning close to my ear.

“Because… I want to unload it into you while I make love to you over and over. Until I am empty.” Alijah purred.

My cheeks turned a new shade of pink. My heart was not ready for what was coming. This would be the first time that we both knew how we felt about one another. However, he would not let me escape.

In an instant, he was in me. I mewled his name at the suddenness of it all. The way he filled me to the brim made me feel fully his. Lovingly, he licked my lips before kissing me deeply. Even though I was holding him in my dreams, it never felt like this.

For a while, we locked lips while our tongues tangoed with one another. Once I was breathless, Alijah slowly pulled away. In response, I wrapped my legs around his hips, while his rough movements began.

“I love you, Rem.” My wolf suddenly professed to me.

His words caused me to tense up. It triggered him to moan as his member twitched within me when he suddenly found his release.

“Fuck… Rem, don’t do that so suddenly.” Alijah panted, feeling bliss.

Even though I had not found my release with him. I felt utterly defeated by him. Not I was too happy to be real.

Is his heart really for me to have? I won?

“I love you too. So much.” I simpered out of breath, feeling a bliss I could never explain.

I was in ecstasy. If this was just another dream. I did not want to wake up from it ever. Unable to hold back, I grabbed Alijah by the back of his head and pulled him into another kiss. One he happily deepened. The love that was pouring from him into me was overwhelming.

It was so rough and passionate that I lost myself within him. I found my release repeatedly while under him. It continued until the night came for us. Even then, Alijah continued to pound himself into me. It was almost as if he wanted me to memorize his shape again. Not that I ever forgot.

Reluctantly, Alijah glanced up at the clock in my room while a too-familiar feeling came to flow within me. He held me while my knees and hands were on the bed. His limbs were on my hips and tail. Feeling me clench down on him, Alijah laid his chest on my back, grabbing onto my hands.

Even though my body felt slightly numb from the overstimulation I was getting, it would soon be consumed by pleasure once again. Alijah’s movements continued even though we were short in time. Though… the feeling that was coming was scaring me. It felt just like when he first held me in Wyatt’s home.

“Rem, I love you,” Alijah repeated.

He had been saying that the whole time. And it never got old. He intended me to know it from memory. Kissing my cheek, he pulled me up slightly as a smile formed on his lips.

“Are you going to…?” He stopped himself from finishing before he bit onto his lip.

Suddenly, he released me from his grasp, grabbing onto my hips firmly. A soft moan left his lips as he continued with what he was doing. Suddenly, my body tensed up again. I saw white once again as Alijah thrust himself all the way in, knotting me again.

The overstimulation caused me to release that weird liquid again. My voice and body twitched, unable to control it. Though, my voice was hoarse and heavy too. The feeling of him convulsing into me was overwhelming.

A chuckle came from Alijah’s lips, while I could barely handle any reason. Even the way he traced his fingers on my skin made me lose it. If this is what it meant to be loved by this Lycan, I was about to drown.

Not that I hated it, but I would be utterly addicted by the time he was done with me. The knot took a bit to undo, but after we were free. Alijah pulled away from me, allowing me to tumble onto the bed. My body did not feel like my own.

“Tired?” my wolf teased, sitting by the edge of the bed.

I growled. He was out of breath, too. But unlike me, he could go longer if he wanted. The look in his eyes made me feel so warm. I was happy to be alive to see it. He truly loved me. I…

Why did I not notice it before? I am dense.

“Not a chance.” I huffed, turning away from him.

It wasn’t in me to admit defeat. Though in reality, I probably would pass out if he kept going. I slowly sat myself up, only for him to pull me towards him, meeting me with his lips. A sweet, quick kiss. He pulled away quickly and picked up his clothes from the floor.

“Dinner should be almost ready. Are you hungry?” Alijah asked.

I nodded before noticing the mess I had done on my bed. And this time… It was not like I could burn it down. My expression caused Alijah to laugh. I growled at him for what I had done.

“This is serious!” I pouted, getting off the bed.

My foot got caught up in the sheets, causing me to tumble again. My beloved wolf caught me before I met with the floor. I was a klutz. Though this time it was mostly his fault, too. Even if I had not caught onto the fabric, my legs were jelly.

There really was no ounce of god slayer in me. If I really killed one before, it was by pure luck. Which it was...

“I know. I will bring it to the laundry before the maids or anyone else see it. Go shower, love.” Alijah reassured, kissing me again.

I felt a bit relieved by his words. Though it did not stop it from being any less embarrassing. After all, it was almost as if I had pissed myself. Involuntarily though…

“Okay,” I mumbled, realizing Alijah already knew the manor like the back of his hand.

It really had been almost two months since then. Even now, that day seemed so blurry to me. What I remembered clearly was that Lilith stabbed me. And that she also called herself… an angel of death. Everything else. I could not tell if it was real or fake.

I was delirious from all that blood loss. Even though I wanted to tell Alijah, who was dressing. The moment I saw his face, I could not say a single word.

Will he believe me? Will he care? Ah… He loves you, Rem! Get it together!

That final thought caused me to slap my cheeks, only to get a weird look from Alijah. A soft chuckle left my lips as I fixed my gown and ran out of the room. All before he could ask me what was wrong. In the end, I was a coward.

Even though he chose me and said he loved me. I still struggled to believe it.

Wait, did he choose me? Or was it a spur at the moment thing? No… No, Rem, Alijah did chose you! He told you! Stop thinking he does not want you! Or that he is better off with someone else!

I struggled with my thoughts while I ran into the bathroom. Why was I such a mess? Then again, these feelings that I had carried with me would not all vanish in one go. Even though my wolf had shown me how much he loved me.

Why… is it so hard to believe?

In my hurry into the bath, I did not look to see if anyone was using it. Instead, I ran into the room, only to crash into someone soon after. For a moment I was stunned, but whoever I tackled into the ground was light enough to fall under me. At least it was not a wall, but it was one. An angry one too.

“Are you fucking serious!” Vera snapped.

I instinctively got off her. The towel that covered her had fallen, exposing her fair skin and amazing goods.

I am… worth it? Certainty nothing like hers... Arg… Snap out of it! He just made love to you like crazy!

“Sorry!” I apologized.

Vera seemed pissed because of it. I had walked into the lion’s den by mistake. Ruzgard was right next to her too, staring at us both. Unlike Shade, Ruzgard always gazed at me like I was a pest. I guess... that was what I was about Vera.

Then again, he never liked how loud I was.

“You never fucking change! Always a fucking handful!” Vera continued to go off.

I tried to ignore her by attempting to go out of the bathroom, but she grabbed onto my arm.

“I am talking to you, Rem!” Vera chided.

I turned to her. It was terrifying to know I could go off and hurt her again. I could still see the scar on her shoulder from last time, too. When I was younger, Vera and I had gotten into a stupid argument about her friends and how she should not listen to them.

At that point, they were asking for a lot of favors, and it felt like they were using her. So, I tried to knock some sense into her. But she turned it into something else entirely. I mean… I guess I was jealous of her, but all I wanted was for her to not get hurt.

“Vera, stop. I don’t want to hurt you.” I warned her.

She shook her head before hugging me tightly, not caring that she was almost bare. Then again, we were sisters. Twins, in fact. I would never see her as anything else. Actually, I would see no one other than Alijah in that light. Though her hug was warm.

“Then don’t hurt me! And listen to me! You stupid brat! Do you know how worried I was?!” Vera suddenly declared.

I did not know how to react to her anymore. This was unlike her.

“Vera?” I mumbled her name.

She kept me close to her. Even though I almost attacked her the day before, she held me with no fear. She never did. Even after I…

“Alijah is right. Fuck!” Vera cursed, releasing a sigh.

“Look, I… am sorry for going off on you before. I feared everything that was happening. And I’m still scared. I don’t want to lose you again!” Vera squeezed me.

I tried to worm my way out of it.

Oi… did she break?

This was not like her at all. Though, I remembered Alijah and her talking before.

Is this what they…?

“But… I thought I was annoying.” I mumbled.

She frowned soon after. It was almost as if I hit a nerve. She was trying, but I was not making it easy. I never did.

“Yes, you are annoying. But you are my infuriating little sister that I love! If I am not harsh on you, then who will! You need to know that was not okay!” Vera clarified, holding me at arm’s length.

Her purple orbs only showed frustration. Instinctively, I sighed and gazed down towards the floor.

“I am only… minutes younger than you, Vera,” I grumbled, feeling down to always be the smallest of the squad.

The runt.

“I don’t care! Why didn't you tell me you were going off in that plan of yours?!? Do you even know how angry it made me? Why didn’t you depend on me!?” Vera heckled me.

It seemed there was no avoiding this. All I could hope was to stay calm.

“Because you would have told mom,” I answered.

She grabbed me by my cheeks, squeezing them in her hands. I never had seen her so angry and frustrated before.

“I… would have tried to help you! You stupid idiot! I knew this whole time how you felt! I didn’t even tell mom about you glowing every night! You were meeting him, weren’t you?!?” Vera announced, leaving me shocked.

How… How did she know? Did she read my journal?

“You knew?” I mumbled, surprised by what she had just said.

If she knew then...

“Yes! Stupid! I knew when I stumbled to your absurd journal the night, I woke you up with that silly nightmare." Vera started.

I felt a rush of annoyance, remembering how she had been against me, too.

"If you knew, then why were you so against me going to the howling forest!? You even helped me do the spell!" I snapped, clasping onto my chest.

I felt a stung as Ruzgard eyed me down carefully. He would protect Vera, that much I knew. One slip was enough. It was expected of him to look at me with such caution.

"Because it would have been too dangerous! I didn’t know with certainty that Alijah was the one you were meeting with. Not until you went missing, but... Forget it. Just never go off on your own again! Please don’t leave me alone again. It’s too lonely without you!” Vera answered, tears rushing down her cheeks.

I was left without knowing how to respond to her. Did I hurt her too with my recklessness? It seemed that was all I was good at.

“I… am sorry.” I apologized, gazing away.

She pulled away from me, unable to believe her ears.

“You stupid idiot. I thought you would be there always! And then one day you were gone! How dare you leave me like that?!” Vera questioned.

She would not let me speak, though. Not while knowing all that would come out of my mouth was apologies. Empty ones too. She knew I would have done it all over again if I had to.

“Don't apologize, do better!” My sister scowled, hugging me again.

At first, I was reluctant to respond, but the moment I did. I felt a rush of happiness. My sister had never shown me this type of affection before. Though… it would not last long. I hurtled into a large pool of water seconds later. In our manor, we had stalls for showering and large tubs for bathing.

The moment I made it back to the surface, Vera was laughing at me. I growled at her. Alijah had done something like this, too.

“Why?” I grumbled at her, not happy about the fact she had pushed me into the water fully clothed.

“Because you deserve some type of punishment. That wolf won’t give you any. Mom and dad won't either, or our brothers.” Vera rolled her eyes a bit, shaking her head.

“I would have a better chance at finding gold before they say anything bad to you. So, don’t get full of yourself because I forgave you a bit!” my sister declared, pointing at me.

I could not help but chuckle a bit.

“Vera, I love you.” I simpered.

She huffed in response to my love declaration.

“Unfair, don’t look at me like that.” Vera pouted.

I made my way to the edge of the large bath. This would probably be the only chance I had to ask her why she was being so weird with Alijah. She dressed as I tried to find the courage within me to ask her.

“Hey… do you like Alijah, Vera?” I asked straight up.

She turned to me, fixing her clothes. Her expression was one of pure disgust.

“Why do you ask?!?” Vera scuffed.

I shook my head and smiled. Instinctively, she dropped the charade and sighed.

“That wolf only has eyes for you, Rem. It makes me happy that he loves you so deeply. I think I can trust him with you. A bit, though. Just a bit!” She tried to dodge the question.

I would not let her. I wanted no secrets about this. Especially with her. The other half of my power.

“But do you like him, though?” I repeated my question.

She closed her eyes and continued to convince me otherwise.

“I would never be attracted to his nature,” Vera assured.

I gazed away from her, feeling insecure by her answer. If she only knew, I could read her like a book. I had spent twenty years gazing at her to know.

“But you are.” I pointed out, knowing Vera like the back of my hand.

If she only knew how long I had been watching her. To strangers, she would usually put on a beautiful show, but to people she liked, she would be herself. Even with the last boy who was Ryker’s son, she put on that charade.

I wonder what happened between them. But was it my place to ask? Noticing she was cornered, Vera sighed and shook her head.

“I don’t want secondhand goods from you. Plus, he is bound to you for life now. No one will ever steal him from you, sis.” Vera smiled, trying to reassure me that no matter what she felt.

He was off-limits.

“What?” I mumbled, unable to follow along with her.

Bound to me?

“Alijah didn’t tell you?” Vera asked.

I shook my head. My wolf had not said a single thing about how Midnight had affected him. In fact, all he wanted was to hold me.

“If you die or are separated for too long. He will die. Midna bound both your lives forever.” She began.

I felt a gut-wrenching feeling surge within me.

“Even when you two die and are reborn, he will be bound to you. Forced to find you in every life.” Vera continued.

I felt myself losing my grip on reality.

This can’t be real. I… can’t…

“Alijah is yours for eternity.”

3