After the doctor came to see me, he had said for me to stay off my foot for a couple of days and it should get better rather quickly.

I knew, without a doubt, the next couple of days were going to be a little tedious…

Kael was going to be all over me and making sure I don’t do anything at all…

…I could tell that I was going to get a bit bored…

Sighing to my future, I then heard him calling out for me, hearing his footsteps get closer and closer.

Here he comes!

I felt my heart start to thump loudly once again…

“Puppy!”

I looked up at him and pouted.

I just fell over, don’t make a big deal about it!

“I leave you alone and in minutes you’re in trouble!”

His mumbles made me bow my head…

“Show me, give me your foot.”

No!

He took it anyway, making me flinch.

He hissed, and I found him becoming more gentle, “Idiot! I knew I should have just taken you with me!”

When Kael looked at me, he sighed and gently put my foot back down.

Looking back at me, he shook his head, “What am I going to do with you!”

Frowning and letting out a deep breath in frustration, I look away from him.

Feeling myself being moved to be in his embrace, I closed my eyes to knowing he was just letting out words…I knew he cared for me…

It wasn’t just in his actions and words, but now, even General Tolley had said so.

“Doctors orders.” He pulled back from me then, “You have to stay off your foot for a couple of days!”

Pouting again, I nodded, there was no way I would probably touch the ground in days, unless doing personal business!

My fate was sealed!

 

 

The good thing about being back with the General, was finally becoming aware of what was going on!

Kael told me that the country of Setchra had come with a huge army of a hundred thousand men and were on the move, showing that they were after the Gelmain capital.

It had been the last thing that any of them had thought about, but now it looked like the war between Gelmain and Icklish was officially over, as Gelmain may be conquered by Setchra instead!

It was one heck of a surprise to everyone and what all three Generals hated the most, was that they had done most of the work!

Watching from a distance, the dam that was dug out by us, was now used by the Setchra’s army and the water was indeed cut off to Gelmain’s capital.

Not long after that, the gates were opened and the King of Gelmain, and many others, was known to have become prisoners or something.

Whatever happened, us, the army of Icklish, were no match the army of Setchra, so we had done a complete retreat back to Mount Prime and gave Setchra full access to whatever they wanted.

It really was harsh, as they reaped all the benefits and didn’t do much work for it!

Luckily, we were able to take a few cartloads of vegetables with us and even the Mayor of Bronk had tagged along, willing to work Kael’s land and live the remainder of his life in Icklish.

So, to a strange degree, we got a bit of benefits too!

And within another week, the country of Gelmain was no more and a rider of Setchra was sent to Mount Prime to speak pleasantries…

 

Even though the rider from Setchra eyed all the Generals, he was very pleasant, claiming peace towards Icklish. General’s Tolley and Wilton kept cool in front of him, but General Knowles ended up looking silly, by saying some foolish things.

Nonetheless, I didn’t know much of what happened, so I didn’t hear any more about it.

But, before I knew it, two more years passed peacefully on top of Mount Prime and our division was called back for what the King called respite.

We were being switched with General Knowles division and there was another reason this was happening…And that was that General Wilton was decreed a bride!

I got many people looking at me when this was heard, even Neil was looking at me strangely…

I guess I understood why, because I was feeling strange because of this as well.

My secret had been kept this entire time, even though General Tolley knew it…Even though he would wink or let out a chuckle once in a while whenever I saw him.

But…To have General Wilton marry someone, made me a little mad…

 

Everything was going fine until this happened!

Kael and I had a great relationship, we had given a lot of ourselves to each other…In the way of telling each other some of our pasts and our very close friendship. We were already known as being inseparable and that we would most likely stay that way…

The times of feeling strange, continue to slowly grow. Not only do I catch myself staring at Kael many times now, but I realized that his emotions seemed to connect to mine. If he was unhappy, then I was as well…If he was happy, then I was…

Spending another two birthdays with him, making me closer to sixteen now, I was granted two more days full of happiness about my birth. Yet again, Neil had given me another wooden sculpture, that I now had hanging off my belt, it was an eagle…

Dilan had given me more money but pledged to protect me because I was his ‘brother’. And Kael…

Kael had given me another dagger like the first, so now I had a pair of the pretty daggers, and on my fifteenth birthday he gave me a precious bangle with a stone in it. I have worn it since I had received it, and everyone knows…That it’s from the General.

It felt like I was his and…Everyone else seemed to silently say the same thing that I thought and felt…

 

Over the two years, my ‘cycle’ came every time, making me have a hard time once a month, where my secret came first and foremost in my mind.

I could hardly forget who I was and how I have come to be here…But, it didn’t stop me from being myself and trying to make the best of my situation.

I found out too…That, I was sure that I loved Kael.

I loved him…A lot!

With all the worry that my secret gave me, he seemed to make up for that by how he treated me. We would often watch the sun set on top of the mountain, just the two of us, and even if we were quiet, it was still very comfortable.

I had not spoken aloud to others, but, I was gaining the courage and was trying to do it when I was alone. I knew that it was difficult, as thinking and saying something seemed to be harder than I thought. Five years, I had been silent, and I hadn’t talked much before that, so I felt very new to speaking…But, I was slowly able to stop my voice from sounding croaky and can do at least three words now without too much of a problem…

And now, that this was happening, I felt like my known world was falling apart. I didn’t know whether to be happy or not, I wasn’t too sure how I should act…

Wouldn’t things change when he gets married?

He would…Most likely be with her…And…Have children with her.

Wouldn’t they go to eat together and talk together under the moon at night?

Wouldn’t they laugh together and walk their little children around?

This…Was really becoming such a problem for me that I didn’t know how to be around him anymore.

 

“Puppy…”

We had already started to go back towards the capital now and I was looking out at the moon, lost in my thoughts.

Not turning towards him, I heard him walk up to me. “Puppy…”

Why did I feel this way, when I was supposed to be a man in the first place?

It was rare to see two man together and it wasn’t well looked upon…Nonetheless, it wasn’t something I could do anyway, because I was really a woman.

My thoughts were getting more conflicted and depressing as the days went on.

“Are you that upset that I will be getting married?”

I turned slightly but then decided to not look at him. I guess I had to start letting him go…So, I shrugged.

“You don’t care?”

I do care…Why do I care this much though? Is it because I loved him and wanted him all to myself?

I couldn’t deny how I felt though, I did want our relationship to continue how it was before this news was told to me, when I did have him all to myself! I loved how he treated me so special, I felt special and wanted to feel special, all because of him.

So, I didn’t respond to him, as I didn’t know how to…

“Don’t worry Puppy, you and I will always be together!”

Finally turning to him, I smiled.

“Come here!’

I went into his opened arms and snuggled into him like I always do…

I wished I had done more…I wished I had told him everything…

…Because, this was our last time alone together as two males…

 

***

 

It had happened so fast that I didn’t understand the situation, until it was too late!

When I think back to the small but strange commotion that had been laid out to us, I still wouldn’t have been able to guess that it was all…About me…

The horses and few carriages running and on fire…The people fretting and running around like mad man…The whole thing was a set up!

We were still travelling back to the capital when this…Strange event occurred...

It had been night time and half of us got up to help the people that were on carriages that were on fire.

I had just gotten onto a carriage, when I had been hit on the neck and felt my consciousness slip away…

I had no idea what happened afterwards, and didn’t know that after the carriages and people were finally safe, that a General was going mad and crazy at the events of not only a missing ‘Puppy’ but a body about the size of mine was found and it was burnt so badly, that you couldn’t see one part of skin still on the body…

The dramatised General didn’t accept this body, not thinking at all that it was me, so he started a search…

 

***

 

Getting woken up, by having water splashed onto me, I gasped to the chill.

Blinking my eyes, not only because of being startled due to the splash of cold water but because they were blurry from sleep.

I wondered what was going on…I never got treated like this in the army…The General won’t be happy when…

“Ah, she’s awake! Good!”

I took some quick breathes and found that I was unable to move.

I was tied to the…Same…Place.

Swallowing and feeling goosebumps come to my skin, my eyes weren’t able to move from the place that my mother had been killed!

Letting out a small cry, fear could be clearly seen on my face!

Feeling myself start to tremble and even try to get up, but unable to, I felt like I could cry rivers!

Closing my eyes, I desperately tried to keep my tears at bay and calm down.

Was this…Another nightmare?

Feeling a slap to my face, I reluctantly opened my eyes again…To that woman!

 

“Since I have your attention, I want you to listen to me carefully!”

Yes…This is a nightmare!

Remembering on how to treat this woman, I completely reverted to what I was like, when I had been back in the Billings residence. What else was I to do when I not only feared this person…But this place as well!?

Nodding, I didn’t have the courage to do anything…Not here, not in this particular place…Not when I was seeing my mother’s death right this minute, like it only happened yesterday.

“You are to not speak and not ask. We expect complete obedience!”

I nodded again, swallowing what I think was vomit…

That woman bent down in front of me and then said, “In two days, you will come into the main house and ask your father to take your sister’s place.”

Still trembling, I nod, not understanding but knowing that this was the only path I had at the moment.

If I did as I was told, wouldn’t I wake up from this nightmare?

It really made me extra sad that I couldn’t use what I had learnt in the army right now. It was not only too late, because I was bound by rope, but I was so scared that I knew I was shaking…This…This was worse then war for me. This was…

Standing back up, she said, “Good, two days, do as you are told, and you won’t be able to run away, little lady!”

With that, I was then left there, tied up and having two people watch me.

…I…

…Was I casted back into the past? Have I lost those years in the army? Why was I here!?

Please…Please let me out!

Wake up!

Not daring to look to my left, I trembled even more.

My eyes got blurry and I rapidly blinked to try and fix them.

This…For me…This was torture!

 

 

I felt like I had died…

For a whole twenty-four hours, I was not given food and I was stuck in that place, tied up.

I was not asleep, I was not having a nightmare…This was very real! The thumping of my heart, feeling the few tears that had escaped my eyes, the hunger and thirst…The memories…

They had sent the message very well.

I will do whatever they ask, but please, get me out of that place!

Please!

Please!

Once I left, I obediently followed them into a big barrel of water and let them clean my skin painfully.

I followed them to a small secluded room and got into clothes that a woman wears…

I didn’t feel anything…Nothing…

After I was done, I saw that woman again and I bowed down willingly, right at her feet…

I heard her let out a small laugh, and then she said, “It is time for you to go to your father. Now…Little, worthless, wench…Did I ask you to do this?”

I got up slightly, to show that I was shaking my head.

“Good, oh…And speak the words…There’s no letter this time. Tell your father with your own voice! I’m sure he’d love that!”

After a moment, I nodded…

I was still glad that I left that place. That deep, dark, sorrow filled place…

I felt like I had relived it all over and over again and I could hardly hear her, all I could hear is my mother’s cries to the pain.

“Show her the path and then disappear.”

Then I was taken out, from wherever it was that I had been staying…

 

After…I don’t know how long…I was then told to go in a direction out of the bush and head towards the Billings residence.

Doing as I was told, I moved…I don’t know how I was doing it, perhaps my brain was not connected to my head…I don’t know

I didn’t know anything…

I somehow made it to my father’s study and stood there.

What was I doing?

My sisters?

My sister’s what?

I’m doing something for my sister now!?

First, it’s my brother, and now…My sister!?

All of a sudden, I felt like I wanted to laugh. I wanted to laugh so much!

But…The door suddenly opened.

…Father.

“…Malory!? You’re…You’re alive!?”

Oh right, that’s right, Lorrie is in the army…Here…Here, I am Malory.

…Already, I missed being ‘Lorrie’…Already, I wanted to return to the army…Because I hated it here!

 

I found myself in my father’s embrace moments later and he brought me inside his study.

For what felt like hours, my father cried and then laughed and then made sure that I was real…

This…Gave me the time to realise that I definitely wasn’t dreaming…That I was indeed back in the Billings residence, gone from the army…The time of being known as a ‘boulder’, good with daggers, assistant of the General…None of that mattered here. I wasn’t ‘Lorrie’…I was again, ‘Malory’, a daughter of a slave…Someone that should not be here, someone that is worthless…Someone that could be used…

Kael…

…I desperately needed to remember what I had to do…

With…That place…In my mind so vividly, I only wished that I never return there…That I must do as I am told!

I hugged my father back and tried to think of a way to bring up that woman’s scheme. I was just too scared not to do as I was told…If I didn’t…Wouldn’t they put me back in that place…