I had already halted my steps, staring dumbfoundedly at Kael’s disappearing figure. It almost felt like another nightmare…

“Kael…Kael!”

I watched as my soon to be husband ran off, got on a horse and galloped away, while General Tolley followed after him.

“Looks like she won’t have a chance…”

Looking towards the voice, I see people nodding.

“Does this mean that I have a chance?”

“Honey, it would be hard to be a female and gain his heart.”

“But mother, with the wife unable to even have him look at her, it means I have a chance!”

“I don’t know why you like him…”

“He’s a General after all, mother, and…He’s only got one woman, one woman that he’s already abandoned!”

 

I had not been able to move.

Having wanted to chase after Kael, I was too late and knew by the time that I did something with this dress, so that I could ride a horse, I would have no idea on where to go to find him. But those thoughts were depressing…Running after my husband, ripping up a dress…Leaving my own wedding…

And now, hearing the voices around me, I felt…Absolutely heartbroken…

He didn’t want me…

“Miss Malory, come, let’s finish the wedding.”

How?

How can a wedding continue, when the husband to be…Had run off?

I was pulled along and somehow, I got through the routine of the ceremony.

Taken to a room, I was then left alone…

I had heard more…More bad things…

How they had called me ‘Miss Malory’, how I looked silly, how I have already been abandoned and laughed at.

I fell to the floor exactly where I was and hung my head.

He doesn’t want me…

 

I had been looking forward to this…I had been…So extremely happy!

So happy!

The world did a complete flop on me!

Was this the reason why Lady Venus didn’t want to marry him?

Was he really not a man that liked women?

Shaking my head, I felt quite strange…I wanted to laugh, laugh off all my sorrows…

It was the first time I had wished that I was really a male…I sincerely wished it with all my heart and soul…Just for a chance…A chance to be with him!

What…What will my life be like now?

Even though I thought of a life to now, where I am into the age of fifteen, I wouldn’t have known that if I was indeed a male, I would have been killed much earlier by Lady Billings, which would have never given me the chance to be with Kael anyway…

The idea seemed good, as it was to be with the man I loved, that was all I thought…

I had no idea on what to do now…I don’t know how to act!

I only knew the way of a soldier, the way of a slave…

But…

He will return…Won’t he…

Don’t give up!

Perhaps he needs time! Yes, time!

Hope filled me again, because I really didn’t want to give up!

I wanted to be with Kael and be happy!

Finally, feeling more strength flow through me, I got up and walked further into the room, looking around.

Was this…His living quarters?

I hadn’t seen his room all the time I that had been in his estate.

 

That’s right, his father is here too, so I wasn’t going to be alone!

I had to start thinking that this is my home now, where I lived. Where I will spend the rest of my life.

We were married, he didn’t stop that from happening, so…This was my home now…

I took a deep breath, knowing I was repeating things to myself.

I don’t know why I was repeating some things, but I felt that I had too!

The door opened behind me and I turned around, to see…Kael!

I smiled, he was here!

He did…Not look happy…

Losing my smile, he grabbed me and then I was walking out of his room and into another place.

It was small, with a small bed and one window, no cupboards, just a chest…

“You will stay here.”

I closed my eyes, then nodded.

Fine…I’ll stay here…That’s ok, I can do that.

I was still glad that he was there, in front of me and talking to me!

“I’m sorry, since it was decreed, there was no way that I could stop the wedding from happening, so I can’t do anything and I’m sorry for ruining your chance of a potential future with a loved one.”

‘No way I could stop the wedding’

…What?

“I won’t make things hard for you, but you must know, that at the moment, there is no chance that I could love you.”

‘No chance that I could love you.’

Bowing my head in defeat, I lost any want to do anything. From all the ideas I had…Revealing myself to him…

I had thought of lifting my veil, or putting my arms around him…

No…The want was completely gone…I was…

‘No chance that I could love you.’

So…I…

 

***

 

I had been alone for awhile before I noticed that he’d already left.

Closing the door, I slumped on the bed and just didn’t care.

I didn’t care that I was still wearing the most beautiful dress that I had ever seen.

I didn’t care that I was married to the most handsomest man I had ever seen.

I didn’t care that I was now residing in this residence, away from the Billings residence.

I didn’t care that I was now a female, instead of male. No longer harbouring a secret.

I didn’t care when my items were placed in this room, showing that I received my daggers and money…Not yet my belt sculpture, nor my precious bracelet…

I wanted time to go backwards, to when Kael cared about me, when he would hold me in his arms…

I wanted to think this was not real…That this isn’t right…

But…With everything…With how everything had happened to me in the last week, I just lost all resolve…I just didn’t care right now for anything…

I might as well have died as ‘Lorrie’…

 

***

 

I was given food, not that it was as good as the last time I was here.

I didn’t go out, doing minimal training inside the small room when I wanted to.

Actually, I, again, was so depressed that I had no idea how much time had passed.

But, I was getting over it!

I made a mask, not caring to wear makeup anymore, why bother.

I was also sick…Sick of waiting!

I thought perhaps I would see the General again, but he had not come once to see me.

I never asked for anything, nor did I care that I became a little sick.

But, that was what got me out of that small little hole…

 

I decided to take life into my own hands from then on.

All along, I had done what others had wanted me to do.

It was now my turn!

I toke my brother’s place in the army, staying there for years, harbouring a secret that ate at me all the time.

I had taken my sister’s place and gotten married! Staying in this room, doing as I was told, yet, this was not life…Even though I…Loved that man…This is not how I wanted to live anymore!

Since my work here was done, I was going to leave.

There was no point in staying here, where I wasn’t wanted!

Having made comfortable clothes and wearing a new mask, I walked right out of the room and scooted away in the dark of the night.

With the friendship that Kael and I had shared, I had waited and waited for him to give me a chance.

I wanted to forgive him of the words he had said, stay and live whatever life I could here.

Now, after…Some time, I was finished.

So much time had gone, that I even knew where I wanted to go. To an extent, I hated that I had gone so far as to think of this and tried not to. But it’s just…Too late…

Yes, it had been months…Months that I waited to see Kael, just once.

Never…Again!

I will not do anything for anybody, I will do what I want!

From now on, I was free!

Free!

No longer a slave…No longer someone that gets told what to do! No longer someone used by others! No longer holding onto a secret!

Feeling free and being free for the first time in my life…I could only smile…

 

Leaving the Wilton residence behind, taking with me my daggers and sculptures, I first searched out a doctor. I was told that I had been poisoned and for some reason that didn’t faze me at all. It felt like I had already known…

It had been a slow poison but since I had been training, the doctor was confused why the poison hadn’t worked very well. For a rare moment in my life, I was thankful to have gone in the army and trained so hard that my body was pretty tough! But…It only gave me more resolve to do exactly what I was doing.

After I was cured, I did cry to a certain realisation. I cried that my life could have been over, if I had waited longer, if I had not gone into the army…I cried…Because this happened in Kael’s residence and Kael…

The idea that he wanted me dead, closed any more feelings off, making me not want to think of him again!

I know I loved him still, I know I yearned for him every day, but no longer will I let it out…No…I was going to hide this forever!

I…Will not see him again and wish him well…

I then left the capital, and I leisurely made my way to the west…I…Was going back to my origins.

The border between Icklish and the barbarians, held traps…Lots of traps!

Having to slow down, just so that I could get past them, this took me quite a number of days to get through…

But I was free…And, strangely, it was fun! It was the most fun I had in months!

 

***

 

While I was slowly making my way towards the barbarians, already having left the capital, it was at this time, that my father choose to not take no as an answer and barged into the General’s residence.

Having overheard a conversation between his wife and daughter, he had a sudden epiphany and realised that things weren’t as they seemed.

Thinking it over and over, with the rumours of Malory hiding and that of his daughter Venus laughing at her own half-sister…Lord Billings started to realise that…Perhaps he must…Must talk to Malory and figure this out!

He missed his Malory terribly and had a sinking feeling that she was being wrongly looked after.

Every time he had written, there was no response!

Every time he had come to see her personally, they had told him that she doesn’t want to talk with him!

Now…Was it because she really had been forced? Had she been told to…Take her sister’s place!

Unable to let it go of his thoughts, until he hears the words from her mouth herself, he was not going to leave!

With this in mind, and a bracelet in his hands, he wasn’t going to leave anytime soon!

 

At first, Lord Billings spent four hours just waiting in a guest room of the Wilton’s residence…After these four hours, he walked around and bumped into Michael Wilton, whom only spoke nonsense and Lord Billings was unable to handle any more of it and continued to investigate the residence.

He was told to leave by one, then by three, then by ten!

“I will not leave until I see my daughter!”

“She would know you are here, just by the commotion you are stirring up, so please just leave sir, she doesn’t want to see you!”

“I am not leaving! Malory! Malory! Lorrie! Where are you! Father is here!”

“…Did you just say…Lorrie?”

Many let go of Lord Billings, to respectfully bow to the General, “Sir.”

Lord Billings huffed, clenching the bracelet into his fist, and decided to further inspect the residence, “Malory! Please…”

When he got to the General’s room, the General did nothing, making others look at him and Lord Billings in question.

“Lorrie!”

Lord Billings came out angrily, “Where is she! Dammit!”

He continued searching, finally coming to a small room that looked as though it was lived in recently, but now…It had no one there.

Falling to his knees, Lord Billings picked up a bit of the wedding dress that was crumbled in the corner of the room.

 

“Did…You just say ‘Lorrie?’”

Lord Billings got up and turned to the General, holding out the bracelet, “Where is she! Didn’t you love her! Isn’t it what this signifies! You hardly let her go in the army, what now that your married to her, you don’t want her! Uh…Where did she go!”

“What…”

Lord Billings checked the last place, only stopping briefly, seeing that his daughter was terribly misused.

“Tell me…Show me again.”

“Tell you what! I’ll tell you that I will issue a divorce for her! Once I find her, you won’t see her again!”

Lord Billings stalked off and the General suddenly snapped out of his thoughts, he ran to the small room and saw for himself, his missing bride!

Running as fast as he could, he ran up to catch up with Lord Billings, “Sir, please, just a moment!”

Stopping, Lord Billings shook his head, turning to the General. “I can’t believe what she went through…For this!”

He spat on the ground and continued to walk to his carriage, not looking back once, before he got in.

The General raced towards it and jumped into it, even though it started to leave, “Sir, did you say Lorrie? Did you say that Malory is Lorrie? Lorrie from the army? That…That bracelet…”

Watching Lord Billings like a hawk, he saw him frown, “Nonsense, now get out!”

“Sir! If Lorrie, my brother, is Malory, you must say it!”

“I will not say another word to someone who treats my daughter like this! Now get out!”

Taking the General unprepared, Lord Billings pushed him off the carriage and did not care what the outcome was.

He was so frantic for his daughter, that he had slipped!

It was best to get that bastard out of his sight, before he did more damage! Revealing that secret would not do him any good!

Putting his head into his hands…Lord Billings muttered a name and shook his head.

“I will find her again, Sarasa…I will beg her forgiveness…”

Dropping his hands, he looked up slightly, seeing outside the window, he started to wonder where his beloved daughter had vanished off too…