Kael’s POV (This is more like an extra chapter, being the only one that has another person’s first point of view. Keep in mind that this is from Kael’s head, his sight and whatnot, it isn’t in Malory’s point of view.)

 

I didn’t feel hurt, even though it was a decent fall from the moving carriage. I saw blood, but I don’t know where it was coming from. Just one thing…I only had one thing that was on my mind…And that was Lorrie…And that bracelet. With the small time that I had to look at it, I was sure…I was sure, that was the bracelet that I had given to ‘Lorrie’!

…What had I done!?

My own hatred towards the Billings residence, because of my Puppy, did it ruin everything?

If it were true…That my bride, my wife, was ‘Lorrie’…What have I done!?

Stammering back a few steps, I put my hand up to a close by wall, to help me stay up.

All this time I had been thinking and feeling that ‘Lorrie’ was alive, but I just couldn’t find him!

I had drunk more then I used too, I had gotten a worse reputation then before, but I just didn’t care!

If I believed my Lorrie was gone, then…I had not protected yet another person that I loved and cherished…But the worst of it…I did not want him to disappear! I was depending on my Puppy to stay with me…Always!

Now…If it were true, didn’t I just abandon ‘Lorrie’!?

Letting out a painful groan, I put a hand to my broken heart.

Did I abandon the most precious person that I held most dear?

It hurt so much!

Having not heard anything all this time about Lorrie, and now hearing this, I wanted to believe it, because then he would be alive!

Then…If it were true…How much of a failure was I!?

Hitting the wall with my hand, didn’t help me feeling better whatsoever!

“…Puppy…”

 

“It’s General Wilton…”

Looking up, I saw one girl look at me coquettishly, but three other people frowned at me.

I can’t believe it…

Had I changed so much!?

It had gotten to a stage that girls looking at me like that were softening me up, making me aware that I was beginning not to care about only loving one woman in my life.

Now…It no longer fazed me. My world shifted as soon as Lord Billings had first uttered the word, ‘Lorrie’…As soon as I glimpsed upon that bracelet!

After not hearing that beautiful name for so long, my mind started to work once again, and I just couldn’t let it go!

I didn’t care that the evillest bastard had said it, I didn’t care that I hated him for treating my Puppy wrong, I needed to know why he had said that word!

Now…I was seeing how I had become after all these months of losing myself once again.

I may have not cared years ago, before meeting Puppy, but this time had been worse.

I missed him so much, I would cry.

I was not a man that cried. I had cried once with my mother was killed, but that was it. I never cried…Until my broken heart couldn’t tolerate the absence of my Puppy…

My General duties were neglected, and I lost my social standing and status, because of what I had been doing.

Becoming a Captain, I could care less, becoming a Lieutenant, I could care less!

I spent so much time looking for Lorrie, that I had lost weight and had troubles sleeping!

I wanted him back! No…I needed him!

My air was gone, my world was gone…I need my Puppy!

Seeing the three people frowning at me…I remembered that I was starting to yell at people like them, when I used to not lower myself and sometimes even acknowledge them to show them I had confidence and would take whatever they threw at me!

Had I changed so much!?

What was I doing!?

 

Standing up properly, I remembered at this time that I should be at the barracks…When was the last time I was there!?

Neil!

Surely Neil would know!

Wait!

Suddenly, I felt things fall into place, when there were times when they didn’t fit…

Dammit! It was true! It had to be true!

And Neil knew! He knew Lorrie was a female! That’s why he would always look after her!

He must have known the whole time!

Taking a deep breath, I went back home and was already in deep thought before I sat down in my room…I was already quite convinced of what I was thinking, without any kind of evidence but…

I was lost…

If it were true, then my Puppy had run away from me…If it were true…

Sighing, I couldn’t help but start reminiscing…Something I had tried not to do for quite some time…

Letting my memories sweep into my head once again, I continued to be lost…

 

 

Thinking back to when I first met Lorrie, I had already thought of him…Her…She…

I had already thought of her as a puppy straight away. A really pretty puppy…That was sad.

She didn’t look at me like everyone else and seemed to act the complete opposite! Touching my scars the way she did…I really didn’t know what to do with her already!

Remembering the way she had bowed, scared that I would hurt her…I knew it then, that I was protective of her.

Ah, after that, I saw the little puppy stand out. I didn’t know it then, but now that I think back, I guess I was watching her, intrigued by her, wanting to get closer but not knowing why. I was watching her straight away…That smile of hers…

My days slowly changed into something worth it, I found myself smiling, mostly because of her…

Rubbing my face, I leaned back on the chair and remembered how she was when I had first ordered her to be my assistant.

How Neil looked angry and worried. Of course, he didn’t show his anger to me, but…

What had happened then?

I really want to know what her secrets were! I want to know how she ended up in the army!

What a secret!

My poor, little Puppy had to carry such a burden…

Suddenly…

I remembered those two months that she didn’t talk to me…

Putting a hand to my chest, I felt ill…

 

Those two months were terrible, but suddenly, I felt like there was something even worse to those two months.

Why didn’t I think more about why she acted that way!

It had hurt too much back then, but now, now I desperately wanted to know what was wrong!

Had someone found out about her secret?

Had she been tortured by the Billings residence?

What had happened!?

Rubbing my face with my hands, I took a deep breath and then got up.

Originally, I was just going to lay down, but when I got to my bed…I couldn’t help but feel more loss.

This bed…Couldn’t I have already shared it with my Puppy by now if I just…

Frowning, I clench my hand and then punched the bed post as hard as I could.

I only had myself to blame for not giving her a chance to speak or act. I never allowed her that…Me!

And I hated myself for it!

Letting out a deep sigh, I sat on the edge of the bed and laid down, covering my eyes with one of my hands.

 

As I remember more things, now knowing that she was female and not male, I let out a sad, small smile.

With her innocent way of saying ‘no’ to bathing with me, I finally know the real reason!

It hadn’t been scars on her body after all…It was because I would find out that she wasn’t a male…

For a short time, I let myself remember how she would put up her hands and shake her head…Ah…She was so cute when she did that…I went to asking her, just to see her act that way!

Such an innocent, little thing…And they thought she was a spy! What a total joke!

…Even then, I realised how much attention she got and disliked it!

I knew that old coot Knowles didn’t like her straight away, so I had used that as a reason to leave her in my room…But was that the real reason?

A few times I had thought of things like this, where I had come up with reasons but feel like it wasn’t the right reason why I did things when it come to my Puppy.

I knew it, I think I knew it all the time, that I didn’t like people looking at her sometimes, I didn’t want people to touch her…

I wanted her all to myself, even back then!

I just didn’t want to acknowledge that I loved him so quickly. Not because he was a male…It was because he was so young.

I knew, because of his age, I wouldn’t let myself get carried away and I found myself able to think of my Puppy as my brother. My very special, little brother!

But…All this time, he was a she and…No wonder I was so possessive! I’m certainly glad I kept her away!

 

My feelings ran deep, as early as when my Puppy was hurt.

Remembering back to how ashamed I was, because that had happened, I could only console myself when she had been in my arms.

I had failed her already.

I never knew that consoling myself like that, ended up being something that I got addicted too.

It was practically the best thing in the world, giving me no worries, when she had been in my arms.

I didn’t worry about how people saw me, how they thought of me and what they would say. I didn’t even care that I was a General.

I was addicted to my Puppy and everything else was a lot more tolerable!

Letting out a chuckle, I still know it!

I still love her so much that I need her!

I need her in my arms!

It didn’t matter that she had to do the ‘act’ of killing herself anymore!

I got up, looking around for my coat.

It didn’t matter that she was a female since the very beginning!

Putting my coat on, I walked passed the mirror and frowned.

Nothing else mattered to me, except that I loved her, and I needed her, desperately!

Quickly shaving my face, knowing I had gotten lazier and lazier lately with it, I then put a quick brush through my growing hair.

Letting my hands drop, I stared at myself and wondered…Through my nervous and chaotic thoughts, I still wished the most, that she would forgive me.

How will I get her forgiveness?

Especially when I know how stubborn my Puppy is!

Dam, she probably hates me…

 

 

Rushing off, I directly went to the barracks and found Neil…Who ignored me.

Repeating myself, I said firmly, “I must speak with you!”

The few people around, I’m sure, were looking flabbergasted at seeing me act as such. I guess I hadn’t talked to people much lately…

Neil was now the same as me, a Lieutenant…He always made me frustrated, now this just gave me another reason to make me angry!

But, at the moment, status didn’t matter to me!

“Then speak.”

I hated it!

He was always so close to her, now I was begging him for information!

I took hold of his arm and didn’t let go, as I took us to a secluded area.

Turning back to him, I let go of him and saw his angry expression.

Now that I had him here, what was I going to do!?

I wanted to punch him in the face!

“What do you want, Lieutenant Wilton!?”

Growling, I fisted my hand and punched him, unable to stop myself!

All these years I had wanted to do this!

Stay away from my Puppy!

I watch him take a few steps back and wipe at his face and look back at me, “What! You want to take out your misdeeds out on me!? Fine! Do it!”

Not thinking, I punched him again and finally let myself calm down, “That’s…For not telling me and always touching my Puppy!”

 

Watching Neil stand up once again and smirking, I let out a sigh, “I didn’t know. I would never had done that if I knew!”

Then, I felt his fist against my face…

I felt like it had been coming all this time…I don’t know how I was ready, but I was…

He hit me again and I put a hand up to my chin, turning back to him. “I’m going to go and find her!”

Seeing him stop and stare at me in confusion, I nodded and continued, “She’s gone, and I’m going to go and find her!”

Just like how I felt, I watched as Neil went sad and closed his eyes.

Silence came between us, but I felt better.

Over the time that ‘Lorrie’ had disappeared, Neil had comforted me, by saying that he will never stop searching for her.

I had gotten angry when he suddenly stopped, feeling like the trust I put in him had been betrayed…But now, I know better…He had stopped because he knew ‘Lorrie’ was now Malory and had married me. Dammit, I wished he had told me!

Now, I wanted my friend back, we needed to find her!

“Oh, there you are…Lieutenant…”

I heard General Tolley’s voice but still stared at Neil, “Are you coming with me?”

Seeing Neil open his eyes, and showing a determination much like my own, he nodded, “You know what this means?”

He looked at me for a moment and nodded again, “I’m willing.”

Just as much as I knew it, I’m sure he did too…I was ordered not to continue looking for my Puppy a couple of weeks ago…

“What are you talking about?”

I turned back to my friend, Cooper, and smiled. It may be the last time I see him…

“I’m going to get my Puppy back.”

Seeing him frown, I laughed, “She ran away from me. If I had known I had married my precious Puppy, I would never had let her go. So…I probably won’t see you again, Cooper.”

Cooper looked at me in astonishment and stammered, “You…You married Puppy?”

 

Walking up to Cooper, I put my hand on his shoulder and smiled, “Yes, I didn’t know it at the time. It looked like she gave up her army life to marry me and now I’m going to give up everything for her. Look after my father, will you?”

Now that things between them were said seriously, all three men knew what was at stake.

They were leaving with no orders, they were going against rules and regulations and most likely couldn’t return back home.

After another moment of silence, Cooper put his hand out on my arm and nodded, “I will, so go find her!”

Seeing him like this, I felt like I was missing something…

He took in my words so easily, but there was no way he could have known!

But…Could he?

“Did you know Puppy was female?”

I saw Cooper smile and nod, “When she hurt her ankle at Mount Prime, it’s because she tried to run away from me. I had to tell her that I won’t tell anyone and that she’ll end up making you really angry if she ran away…”

Raising my eyebrows, I couldn’t believe that he knew! He had known and never told me!

I knew I could be out of line here, but I raised my fist and directed it right into his face anyway!

“Bastard!”

“I had to swear not to tell you, she was so shaken up, geez! She had a panic attack and I wasn’t going to push things, otherwise, I was sure she would still run away!”

Sighing, I huffed out and then looked back at him, “Just take care of father!”

Cooper’s chuckle really vexed me, but he added on, “I will. You can put your faith in me, Kael!”

Hitting his shoulder, I looked back at Neil, “Let’s go!”

Leaving the barracks, I told Neil to get us some food, water and a horse for himself, then to meet me back at the Billings residence and I galloped off in that direction.

I wanted to hear as much as I could, before I left!

 

 

Storming into the Billings residence, I find many people not even attempting to stop me. It had been awhile since I felt like I had this type of feeling.

I did like it, but then again, why had it disappeared?

Oh well, I felt proud that I was able to keep people at bay, as I got closer to what looked like the living quarters and then stopped to ask about Lord Billings.

The steward stammered as he responded, only telling me news that I didn’t want to hear.

…Lord Billings has not returned yet…

He had only been at my residence a short time ago, where could he possibly be!?

Frowning, I wondered about the activity of what his job implied and guessed that he wasn’t working today. Having spent hours at my residence, he must be close by!

After asking in which direction was Lord Billings study, I then continued in that direction.

Coming up to the place that I was directed to go to, I looked around and saw the farmlands that went slightly down a hill and a bush…

Narrowing my eyes, I focused more into the bush and started to walk in that direction.

Seeing a strange flicker inside the bush area once again, I continued with more determination. It was something!

I didn’t want to stand there waiting, so this was the next best thing!

And, to what I found, it brought back the words Lord Billings had said to me…

‘I can’t believe what she went through…For this!’

Seeing him sit there against a tree with his hand and arm showing blood, I could tell what had happened.

I guess he was quite angry…Well I am too!

Walking up to him, I was going to learn as much as I could from this bastard!

 

“My lord, my lord!”

Seeing a steward there, getting the attention of Lord Billings, I smirked, it saved me doing the job myself!

After he looked up at me, he angrily spat out, “You!”

“Me.”

“Why have you come!?”

“Tell me everything you know about Malory!”

“I will tell you nothing!”

“Was her mother a barbarian?”

I watched him get stunned and lose his composure, after a moment he nodded.

I continued, “Did she watch her mother die?”

Watching Lord Billings close his eyes and look away with a deep, profound sadness, I took that as a ‘yes’.

“Why was she a slave?”

He bowed his head and shook it, making me think he wasn’t going to answer me but then he slowly got up to his feet and looked at me, “I had been told that her mother had killed herself, I believed that up until just before Malory was sent into the army. After I was told about Sarasa’s suicide, I was told that Malory had run away and only found her when it became a big deal that she didn’t speak. I stopped people bullying her for it, but I didn’t know how to help her from having slave status. My wife…”

He closed his eyes tight again, “My wife killed her mother, my wife made Malory a slave and my wife made her go into the army!”

“…Do you not control your women at all, Lord Billings?”

He rolled his eyes at me and shook his head, “She has too much power for me to do anything! I had tried to stop Malory from going into the army but Malory…”

Malory what…Tell me!

Then, he looked right at me, “She tried to kill herself! Right in front of me! That was when I knew that she had nothing! She hadn’t even had me all this time, she had been alone and could have died if she stayed! I had no other choice, especially since Malory insisted upon it so much! I couldn’t bare it if she were to kill herself…I couldn’t bare it!”

 

Puppy!

To hear that she had gotten so sad and desperate, broke my heart all over again.

She had only been…Twelve back then! She was supposed to be happy and running around, but she was a slave and saw death…

My sweet, precious Puppy!

Putting a hand to my chest, I found it more difficult to breath…

“I…I just found out that Lorrie’s ‘death’ had been conspired by my wife as well, just because Venus didn’t want to marry you…So, they got Malory out of the army, just to use her once again…That is all they had ever done to that poor, poor child. They used her and used her!”

I knew he was showing me anger, but I felt his bone, deep sadness as well, as I saw a tear fall down his face.

He didn’t stop now, he kept talking, “She…She was forced to talk, because I would have loved to hear her talk…They used that to make it look believable! And it was, I really thought she had done it all herself! I thought she was jealous and wanted to marry you but…She had no idea what she was asking for! She didn’t even know that it was to marry you! All she knew…Was that she was to take her sister’s place!”

I couldn’t believe the misunderstandings that were going on here. I knew I hated the Billings residence, but for the first time, since meeting my Puppy, I found myself feeling pity for the man in front of me.

“Then…You…You doing what you did…” Lord Billings hit the tree, but it wasn’t hard enough to cause more damage, it looked like he was exhausted, “I…I have no confidence…She will not…She will not forgive me, nor will she return. I have completely failed her…Completely. Not just once. I failed her over and over again…”

He put a hand to his face and I could see he was trying not to cry.

 

After a minute of silence, I had enough of seeing such a broken man and finally spoke, “I will find her.”

Seeing him put his hand down, he looked at me with expectations and an obvious deep plea.

I nodded at him, “I will find her and never let her go!”

He let out a short cry and then nodded.

Walking up to him, I reluctantly put a hand to his shoulder, “Not because you are my father in law, not because I should as her husband…But…Because I love her.”

He put a hand to my arm and nodded again, “Perhaps this will be the only time then, that I can call you my son.”

I let out a chuckle and put my hand down, “Maybe we will return to make you bleed just like this tree has.”

Lord Billings chuckled as well, then sniffed, “If it will be, it will be. Here…”

Without hesitation, I took the bracelet from him. It was going back to its rightful owner!

“Neil found it in amongst Venus belongings…He was unable to find his wooden sculpture though. Tell Malory…”

“Kael!”

Turning to see Neil running up to us, I turned back to Lord Billings, “I will be taking Neil with me.”

Another short nod from Lord Billings and I turned towards Neil, who ran past me.

“Father…”

“Son, it’s fine, the Lord has said that it’s fine.”

I hadn’t turned around, but I was sure they were stating their farewells.

“Son…”

To that, I did turn around, to look at Lord Billings who continued, “Find her!”

With one more nod, I turned and left.

I wasn’t too sure if we were returning, I wasn’t too sure where my life was going to lead…All I knew was, since I had a goal and it was going to lead me to my world, my love…I was already feeling better.

I just needed to find her!