Today was quite confusing for me. I gave myself some time to think. Thinking about things, that are difficult to think about. Love to be exact. The idea that falling in love is something that is required? Falling? I never believed the idea, that one day someone would come up to me and say, "I love you." I am not even in love at the moment and the feeling still makes me angry. I can't fall in love. 

When I was a little girl I was lied to. I was told that "You'll make plenty of friends here!" or "We're like family". Those were all lies. I never made a single friend. I only had Piper. Piper complained about having no friends when the popular girls decided to ditch her. Since I couldn't share with her my true feelings, I wrote them out instead. 

Dear Diary, 

Today I listened to my best friend talk about having only one friend. It made me quite angry so I wanted to put it all down on paper so I wouldn't do anything I'd regret. I felt that, she didn't value our friendship or see me, Hannah, as her friend. If I am not considered her friend, what do I have to do in order to be considered one? Also, if she had no other friends why does she hang out with Marie and Kylie so often? Not to be too inconsiderate, but I have no one without her. I wish she'd realize other people's feelings before blurting things out in anger. That's just me though. I hope I can cure my boredom by doing some homework. 

Sincerely, Hannah

When I was 11, I started taking piano lessons. I guess my mom believed I would become some prodigy and receive a lot of money to perform. I quit after a year. I enjoyed playing don't get me wrong, it's just. I hated how it made me feel. Everytime my fingers touched a key and a beautiful cord came, I felt empty. The piano was pointing out my flaws as if it were a living, judgmental being. I can't really describe the way it made me feel, because there isn't a word to describe the feeling. It was something new, something personal. 

I feel disconnected. From myself and the world. A floating astronaut unable to bring itself back to the space shuttle in the zero gravity atmosphere. I can't understand why people act or think the way they do. I hope that in the future, I can learn what it's like. To be, human. 

Authors Note: This chapter isn't exactly a chapter, it's more like character development. Although, I hope this helps you understand the protagonist a little better :) Thanks for reading!