26: Divine Dreams

My week break ended with a plan to summon a dream demon. Someone who’d visit people in their dreams to spread the love of monsters… wait, is that the right phrase? My domains are pleasure, sex, and monsters. Love isn’t in there. I kinda want it in there though.

Well, to get started I need to sleep… why is the summons already half complete after I enter my dream? Wait, is that an arm coming out of me? This isn’t how it normally goes! Next they got their head out…

“Oh, just let me in already! I’m totally ready for this!”

With a thought, I somehow expelled her from my womb seemingly in an instant, yet there was no momentum. Just a head and arm peaking out, to suddenly all of her out. Once again, my summon had small horns on her head, and small wings on her back, and a spaded tail. 

“Don’t worry, I made sure to get plenty of skills related to reading and understanding people so I could avoid saying or doing the wrong thing, and more easily identify whom is most receptive to your love.”

“Um, my love?”

“Oh, oooh. You don’t know. Oh dear. Um… You might need to do a lot more introspection dear. I’m afraid your idea of yourself doesn’t match the reality.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m a little worried about causing issues if I try to tell you. You aren’t exactly stable. Just… You aren’t what you think you are, and I’m pretty sure it’d be good for the world if you could accept yourself and not keep living in delusion.”

“I wish I could say I’m plenty stable, but that’d be a lie.”

“Yeah… I love you, okay? That’s not going to change.”

“Is it because I summoned you?”

“No! Though my interest in you may be why I answered the summons. There’s no coercion or force here, I’m totally here by choice. My feelings are not the result of your will. If anything, it might be the reverse… you make a cute face when you’re confused.”

All I could do was blush at that. I had no idea what to say.

“Lae, you are a god. What you do, what you create, is an important part of what you are. Remember that. Keep spreading love, and you’ll become a god of love. I answered your summons to help.”

She then kissed me on the forehead, and faded away. I just sat in my empty dream of nothingness dumbfounded for a while before deciding to wake up. 

…

The next day I finally got a visitor asking for something:

“Will you marry me?”

Seriously? My next request is to marry an old man? 

“No.”

“Alright, had to ask. Thanks for your time.”

… that was it? My requestor for the day just wanted to ask for marriage? Feels like a waste of a day, but I do enjoy the extra time to consider what my latest summon meant… wait, I forgot to get her name! 

…

After explaining my weird dream summoning experience to Alpha:

“Hey, Alpha, what do you think she meant when she said my idea of myself doesn’t match the reality?”

“Um… I’m not sure, but I do think your body is just pretending to be human.”

“So, I’m some sort of monster in disguise?”

“Probably.”

“I feel like that isn’t enough to explain her words. Being a monster wouldn’t break me. It’d be weird, but not sufficient to explain her concern.”

“You don’t consider being human or not a big deal?”

“Nope. Always found it strange in stories when a person had a breakdown over that. My body doesn’t define me.”

“What does?”

“My mind. My memories. My personality.”

“If those were fake?”

“... oh. I can’t prove they aren’t… damn it. I need to do it again then.”

“Do what again, Lae?”

“Find myself. I did it before when I was human. Except if the memories are fake, then I can’t trust that the self I found then is still who I am now. That must be what she meant. I need to find myself again.”

“What kind of person did you find as a human?”

“When I found myself? I was someone who wanted to fix the world. It’s a bit absurd, and not really something I could do, but a major defining part of myself, was my desire to correct the gap between the ideal that could be, and the reality that was. Thinking on it now… something’s changed. I don’t get the same feeling as before.”

“Do you want me to leave you alone for a bit?”

“You can stay, but I think it would be easier to think about it without too much distraction.”

“Thanks.”

I found it a little odd that Alpha was thanking me… just for letting them stay? Well, maybe I’ll think about that later. What is it that I desire most now?

***Author Note***

Rolled a d20 for how ridiculous the first request would be. Rolled a 20… then rolled for scale and rolled a 4. Thus I came up with an outrageous personal request.