28: Desire

Rolling green hills, lit by a bright starry sky, and a … wait, that’s no moon. 

This must be a dream. Vivian is here too? She’s looking around in wonder with a strange smile… wait, the grass isn’t grass, it’s green tentacles! Why do I feel it? The warmth of her skin… her hand is in mine, but I feel more than that. 

“You really are amazing, Lae.”

“Vivian? What do you mean?”

Somehow, I felt it as the tentacles grew around her, held her, loved her… Are they a part of me somehow?

“Can’t you feel it? Can you bring me here every night? This is you! It’s wonderful!”

… me? I couldn’t say she was wrong, but it was a little hard to grasp. Underneath the green tentacles that grew upwards like grass, was something dark purple… more tentacles it seemed. It wasn’t clear where any tentacle led to, or came from. It was like looking at a tangled knot of wires.

I could clearly feel Vivian’s warmth though. I felt it deep inside me. As well as in my hand. 

“I’m not sure I understand, but I’d be happy to have you come here every night, Vivi.”

Somehow, even though I didn’t understand what was happening, I knew this was something I wanted. I wanted to fill this place with lovers… but where exactly are we?

My thoughts were interrupted by a visitor I remembered summoning before.

“Oh, good, you’re finally here, Lae. My name’s Ophelia. Does this mean I can bring people here now?”

“I’m sorry, but can you explain this to me? Where is this?”

I’m glad to finally know the name of the dream demon I’d summoned earlier, but her words imply far more than I can grasp. She clearly knows more than I do.

“You still haven’t… oh dear. You can feel my touch can’t you?” She then grabbed one of the grassy green tentacles. I could feel it…

“Yes.”

“Can you not see through the eye in the sky?”

I thought about it, and realized I could see everything it saw, and more. Every star in the sky was an eye, though most of what was out there seemed to be nothing.

“This whole place is me?”

“All of this is you, and there is even more that is you.”

“What more?”

“I don’t want to rush it. This must be a lot to take in already.”

It was a lot, yet it also felt like something was coming undone. Like a seal on some emotion or desire that I’d refused to face before. I wanted to bring everyone here. To share my love with everyone. To caress and embrace them all in my tendrils and tentacles. To watch over them. It was painful. I needed to forget. 

“Vivi, thank you for accepting me.”

I embraced Vivian. The human-like body I had, and the tendrils of the “grassy hill” we were on both embraced her. Her confusion gave way to an expression of love on her face. 

“I should be the one thanking you, Lae. I didn’t even know how much I needed this kind of affection.”

The rest of that night was spent in each others embrace. It wasn’t sexual. Just affectionate and loving, cuddling together in the embrace of a tentacle monster the size of a small planet. Something that helped me forget all the things I wanted and didn’t have. Shoving it all back into the hidden parts of my mind. I’d deal with that later. I wasn’t ready yet.

There was one last question though, I’d been asked and needed to answer. Ophelia had been very patient.

“Yes, please bring as many here as want to come here. I’ll happily embrace them.”

“Excellent. This should really help you out in the long run. This is the proper way to worship you.”

…

When I woke, Vivian and I were hugging each other, and we were both wrapped up in tendrils that had grown out from the blanket and mattress. It was a warm embrace, that also felt rather stimulating to me… wait… it’s the tendrils that feel stimulated? I suddenly pulled back, releasing Vivian and myself and… yeah. When I let go, it wasn’t just my human body letting go, the tendrils did too. This blanket and mattress… and pillow too? Is everything I summoned actually a part of me?

“Is something wrong, Lae?”

Seems my sudden movement woke Vivian. 

“Not really. Just discovering things I wasn’t expecting.”

Thinking on my past memories of how I’d learned about myself before, I remembered how I’d used mindfulness meditation. Maybe that could help here? Get a feel for what all I am?

I took a deep breath, and tried to focus my attention on my senses. All my senses. Every touch, every sound, every…

“Are you okay, Lae?”

Vivian sounded worried. I realized I was clinging to her in terror. I couldn’t remember what I saw or felt, all that’s left in my memory is terror. What the fuck did I detect? What could’ve happened to make me black out like that?

“Sorry, Vivi. I’m not really sure what happened. I just tried to get a feel for everything I could and something scared me.”

After a bit of rest in Vivian’s embrace, I was able to calm down.

“I should probably get dressed and prepare for my next visitor.”

“Oh right, Lae, can you make me some clothes? I’d like to be able to feel your embrace all the time.”

Oh, how cute, she’s blushing! 

“Of course, Vivi.” 

I punctuated my assent with a kiss on the lips… dressing would be delayed as this quickly led to us enjoying each other in bed again. This time, we attended to each other at the same time, and both experienced very distracting orgasms. A great way to drive all the unpleasant thoughts away. This day will start a bit late it seems.

***Author Note***

Huh… this story really isn’t going where I thought it was going when I first started writing it.