Lilian stared at Anna. Was just staring at her.

Loves me?

Loves me more t-than a friend?

I-In love with m-me?!

Like a-…

*GULP*

She took a good long look Anna.

Her bright green emerald eyes were almost sparkling. While it was a tangled mess right now, her wavy deep chocolate brown hair was the same as it always was. Her face, which was round and soft, had a very youthful appearance. Her high cheekbones helped with making her eyes look more sultry, even if that wasn’t Anna’s intentions.

Or maybe it was?!

“Y-You-… *GULP* Y-You l-love me?!” Lilian squeaked her question out.

Anna just continued to smile at her while she nodded her head.

“F-For how long?! Why?! How long h-have you been hiding this?!”

Anna kept her smile on her face but she winced as if in pain.

“Kinda mean to say I was hiding it…”

Lilian realized she had just hurt her feelings.

“I’m sorry!”

But Anna shook her head.

“No.. actually… I think it is better to say that I was hiding it.” Anna confessed. She then continued on by telling. “Well? I think it was sometime during the meal I cooked you a mouth ago… with the rice for the first time…”

It took Lilian a moment to remember when that was.

“That breakfast you made the first time?!” Lilian asked astonished. “Since then?!”

Anna nodded.

“B-But I was so… such a, as you say, a clown of asses that day? How did-“

*SNORT*

Lilian tilted her head at Anna snort.

“It’s actually called an ass clown: as in, someone who does things that constantly look like a giant horses ass.” Anna explained.

“Ah!… That still applies to me though.”

“Lilian…” Anna said softly, her voice full of sympathy.

“No my quareta. It is true and I must face it.” Lilian took a deep shuddering breath as she prepared herself for what she was about to say.

“I have no good reason for what I did… w-when I rescued you accidentally… no… that was a lie, I-… I had seen you appear in a flash of red light: saw the gawanta spot you. My body moved on its own, before I realized what was happening, I had already thrown my axe at the gawanta.”

Lilian looker down at her hands. Her fingers busy picking at her nails.

“I-..I-I was mad at myself then… I questioned why I had done that? For all I knew, you could have been a demon, ripping its way from the astral plain.”

“But after taking you back here; back home. I knew you were just a human… And I was… excited… because, for like, for the first time in nine years, I had finally someone to talk to.”

Anna had a look full of sympathy for Lilian.

“You’ve been living here alone for almost a decade?” Anna Asks her with pity in her voice.

“At least close to it… I-… do not wish to talk of this right now…” Lilian looks up at Anna with worry in her eyes.

“B-But I will my quareta! J-Just allow me some time to, c-collect my thought on some… things… they…- I have never discussed them with anyone before…” Liliab explained with sadness etched in her voice.

Anna just gave her a sad smile before placing a hand over Lilian’s twitching ones.

This made Lilian jump at the unexpected intimate contact. She looked up to see Anna’s compassionate face, understanding face.

“Take your time… I will not leave you.”

Lilian felt her heart stutter at her quareta’s declaration. This brought a smile to her own face as she continued.

“I… Thank you, my friend… that make me so happy to hear you say that.”

They just sat there for a while, Lilian staring into Anna’s green eyes; Anna into her purple ones.

After a while, Lilian realized she was staring and admiring her friends eyes and face. She turned her head to cough to hide her reddening face.

This just produced a chuckle out of Anna, which made her start coughing.

This had Lilian worried, but Anna held up her hand.

“I am fine *COUGH* *COUGH* It’s just that my throat is a little sore.” Anna assured Lilian.

Lilian still looked at her friend with a worried expression as Anna took a sip of her water.

“Ahh~ better again!” As Anna looked over at Lilian’s distraught face, she felt herself go red this time.

“Sorry for ruining the moment.”

Lilian gives her a reassuring smile.

“Never. You can never ruin something my friend.” Lilian assured her confidently.

Anna smirked coyly at Lilian.

“I distinctly remember a certain “gratal” complaining about how I ruined a good thing we had built up.” Anna reminded her.

Lilian’s face darkened at Anna’s pointed accusation.

“L-Look! I was just trying to keep you at arms length at the time, to maintain a distance so that I-…” Lilian stopped talking as she closed her eyes and worried her bottom lip with her teeth.

“I was trying to, keep us from getting closer… So that when you were gone… that I wouldn’t miss you.” Lilian explained.

Anna smirked and patted her head.

“Yeah? And how did that turn out?”

Lilian swiped her hand from her head playfully while smiling at her.

“Horribly! No matter what it was I seemed to do, you always pushed to make us closer.” Lilian playfully informed her with false exasperation.

This got another giggle Anna.

“I tried my best!” Anna commented. “I was hoping for you to take the hint and ask me. But instead, I had gone for the direct route.”

“That you did. And if I am being honest. Think did the trick more than hints.” After saying this, Lilian face takes on a distant melancholy expression.

“While it was for the best… I regret at what it had cost you, for me to stop being an ass clown.” Lilian morosely.

Anna looked at Lilian with frustration.

“Look Lilian!” She shouted firmly before lifting her chip up to look at her. “You may think this was all your fault. But it was also mine. I handled that poorly, I shouldn’t have ambushed you like that. I shouldn’t have wondered off! We need to stop this I’m the biggest loser game. You’re sorry! I am sorry! Let’s just let it go. I am here! I am whole and alive!—“ Anna’s eyes went wide as she realized what she said.

“Err… mostly?” She Commented coyly.

Lilian scowled at her.

“That is not funny my quareta!” Lilian scolded.

“I know, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make light of that. Hell! I am the one with the injury here!” Anna laughed before giving a cough.

“……..” Lilian glowered at  Anna for a  minute while she thought of what she wanted to say.

“*SIGH* Just don’t do that again… run off without talking to me or staying close by so I can help you.”

Anna scoffed and took a breath, but Lilian held up a hand to forestall her.

“I know! I realize how hypocritical that is for me to say. But I will try trusting you more with my thoughts and past…”

But she looked up at Anna with wet eyes.

“But you don’t understand how scared I was!” She finally told Anna with a strained voice. “I had thought I had just killed my one and only friend I had ever had! And I hated myself! I was going to kill all the ogres on the mountain, just to avenge you!” Tears leaked out of the sides of Lilian’s eyes as she finished.

“I have a couple things let to say, one of which is another apology. Then I will be done.” Lilian warned Anna as she wiped her eyes.

Anna just nodded without saying anything.

“Another reason- *SNIFF* -another reason I always called you gack’tug, why I never relented to treat you differently, even though I didn’t think of you as such: was because I, since the moment I was left her by my mama, have been nothing but a gack’tug myself… for seven years, he never called me by name… not once, was I his daughter to him. Just a burden. Just an unloved and unwanted thing!” Lilian spat angrily at the floor, her breath coming in-and-out fast.

It took her a minute to calm down before she said anything more.

“It was about a week for me. About a week after your shoulder started to feel better, after the wolf bit you: when you first made me creamy potatoes.” Lilian looked up at her friend; who was smiling through her tears down at her.

Beautiful.

“I…— I realized that I thought of you as not a gack’tug within a week’s time. So I forced myself to hate and resent you being here… I-I wanted to know, if it was easy to just… hate someone like he did me. To just hate a person for existing, like he had with me. To just keep calling you a gack’tug, when I truly didn’t mean it. Knowing you hated it.” Lilian confessed with tears flowing down her own face.

“I am so sorry! You did not deserve to be treated like that. And I do not deserve your kindness you have shown me, or your love!” Lilian resolutely.

Anna just reached over with her hand to cup Lilian’s cheek and brush her tears away with her thumb.

“And it is my choice *HIC*” Anna began to say. “who it is, that I share my love with. If I have to say anything, I am mad and hate your father for what he did to you! He can go to hell in my opinion!”

Lilian was surprised by the venom in Anna’s words.

But also comforted by them.

She smiled through her times. While resting her face against Anna’s gentle palm.

“Thank you…” Lilian whispered to her. “That is he, one king ass clown.”

They shared a chuckle at the expense of Lilian’s terrible father.

“So… that is the last thing I have to say as an apology to you qua-… to say to you Anna, my friend.” Lilian told her with a smile.

Anna smile back at her with a tearful expression as a couple more said tears leaked out at Lilian’s words.

“Thank you. And I forgive Lilian.”

Lilian’s face had gone serious after that, which made Anna worried she said something she shouldn’t have.

“There is one more thing, but I won’t apologize for it.”

“What is that?” Anna asks. A little confused by what she just hinted at.

“I… I am not sure I can return the love you feel for me, back to you.” Lilian said looking distressed.

“Oh…” Anna whispered disappointed while looking at her lap.

“Do not misunderstand!” Lilian quickly went on to explain. “It is not, not because you lack beauty! Or that I think you are lacking in some way! Err… what I mean to say is-…”

Lilian sighed and looked at her hands. Her face going red as she collected her thoughts.

“I… I have never had someone… L-L-L-Lo-Love m-me, like you suggest you do… I had always thought that… I was incapable of being lo-loved by a-anyone.”

“S-S-So! When you told me you, l-lo-love me! I was… so happy; am still happy to have heard that.”

“I just… have never lo-loved another… like that at least… I have only known love from my mama, and I hate her now for abandoning me here.”

Anna nodded, even though Lilian wasn’t looking at her to see her do so.

“So! My point being is: that I am not sure if I love you… Like how you love me! obviously, is what I meant!”

“But I do know that, I care for you. I think of you as a great friend… so… if you won’t hate me for asking this of you: will you please wait for me to see if I can love you like that? do you mind if I take some time to give you an answer?” Lilian looked at Anna with a pleading, almost begging look on her have for Anna’s understanding.

Which she receives with a smile as bright as the sun.

“Of course I will Lilian! I will wait here and just be the friend you need me to be. You don’t need to rush: you don’t even need to accept it if you don’t think you can. I know a lot of woman would be disgusted by the thought of the person they live with right now is in love with them.”

Anna had expected Lilian to comment on this, but what she got in returned shocked her.

“Then they are selfish idiots to think your love for them is disgusting! How could something so wonderful and pure be disgusting to them?!” Lilian spouted angrily.

This made Anna blink at her in surprise. Which in-turn just caused her to laugh again, before she was sent into another fit of coughs.

“Well! *COUGH* Some woman, *COUGH* *COUGH* think that a woman touching them is wrong or gross. Just like I can’t stand the thought of a man touching me sexually like that.” As Anna explained. She saw Lilian’s face go red.

“What is wrong?”

“…………” At first, Lilian didn’t respond to Anna inquiry. She just worried her bottom lip.

“S-S-Sexually?!” She finally squeaked. “Y-Y-You mean to say that you!-*GULP*-wish to…-*GULP*-copulate… with ME?!”

Anna didn’t think it was possible for poor Lilian’s head to get much darker.

But here we are. As dark as a roasted cocoa bean.

Anna just laughed and thought.

So cute~ 

“Yes.” Anna informed her. “And there is no need to accept it if it is something you don’t wish-“

“Please stop!”

Lilian asked her with both her hands raised toward Anna, and her face looking straight down at her folded legs.

“I-I-I-I have n-n-n-never though of such things be-before! So please! A-A-Allow me to com-Come to t-terms with the f-fact that you l-l-l-l-lo-love me first. Be-for-…—before you b-brooch this s-subject with me a-again!” Lilian said to her like a virgin high-schooler.

Anna just gave her a smile before saying to her.

“As you wish.”

Oh dear!… I still have a long way to go, don’t I?