"Now, has everyone settled down? You have to play nice with each other, or we can't keep doing meetings like this," said Miss Planner gently, tapping a loafer on the clean tile floor for emphasis. Erica stood silently behind her, confused by the strange collection of old men sitting at the conference table who were acting like they'd just been beaten up.
Elder Incarnate, the instigator of the Elders' fight, was shamelessly pretending nothing was wrong. Elder Presence, normally the calmest and most rational of the Chosen Elders, was glaring at Incarnate and muttering under his breath. Elder Omen looked more irritated than anyone had ever seen him before. Elder Drifter watched Elder Presence with anxiety. The incredibly old Elder Crown was exhausted from his brief stint of physical activity and was leaning far forward in his seat, supporting his bald head with both hands.
"I care about all of you, and it would break my heart to see any of you hurt. No matter how much some of us might get angry sometimes, we are in this together. I want you all to promise me right now that you won't lay a single finger on another Elder ever again. Is that understood?"
The Elders looked at their feet and shuffled uncomfortably. They were so ashamed of themselves for making a scene that they couldn't even bear to look in Miss Planner's direction. But they were still so furious at one another that it was hard for them to imagine agreeing to do what she asked. She gave the old men a stern look and crossed her arms, tapping her foot furiously.
Elder Drifter broke first.
"Drifter won't hurt anyone. Drifter is kind and wise, like the Sages."
Miss Planner smiled brightly. The other three Elders involved in the fighting rolled their eyes, groaning internally. Now that Drifter had agreed, Miss Planner wouldn't let up until she'd extracted a promise of better behavior from each and every one of them.
"This is all an unfortunate misunderstanding, Miss Planner," mumbled Elder Incarnate, trying very, very hard to seem harmless. "Of course, I never had any intention of harming my fellow Elders, and I can sincerely promise you that this will never happen again."
Elder Crown shuddered. He had no intention of apologizing for anything.
"You're quite nice today, Elder Incarnate," Miss Planner said without looking at him. Her voice sounded cold and distant. "I'm sure Elder Drifter would be happy to accept your apology. Don’t you think so?”
"Oh, er... yes?" replied Elder Incarnate quickly. It wasn't like he could say no.
Crown hesitantly looked up at Miss Planner and saw her head shake slightly. No, not with her usual polite smile. Not exactly the warmest response to a man who'd just made a sincere apology. He felt a chill run down his spine.
"Drifter knows the wisdom of the Sages. Khhkhhh. Those who forgive are blessed... for they, too, will be shown mercy."
A flicker of anger flashed across Incarnate's face but disappeared almost immediately. Elder Presence cleared his throat. In his mind, Miss Planner was only doing this to spite them, and everyone knew it.
"We haven't done any talking about the problem that brought us here today," said Presence. "Can we please discuss Psydeath now?"
"If you don't mind my saying so, sir, bad blood between the Elders is a much bigger and more pertinent problem than some silly little psychic with a death wish," replied Miss Planner sharply. "I think we need to address this before we can move on. Elder Presence, I know you don't want to see your colleagues at odds with one another any more than I do. Isn't that why you asked me to step into my current role in the first place? Please, I want to hear you make a commitment. Set an example for the others to follow."
It was true that Elder Presence hated it when his fellow Elders fought, but now that he was complicit in the fighting himself, he didn't feel comfortable discussing it. And yet everyone stared at him, waiting for his answer. He silently clenched and unclenched his hands for a few moments before finally responding.
"If you insist... very well," he said quietly under his breath. "I promise you I will never raise my hand against another Elder ever again. Is that sufficient?"
"Thank you, Elder Presence. I appreciate your willingness to put aside personal feelings in order to do what's best for us all. You are a credit to the Elders."
"Hmph," grunted Presence. He scooted back in his chair and folded his arms like an angry toddler. It was clear to Erica that it had been a hard decision for him to give up the fight.
"It seems like everyone is in agreement, except Elder Crown," said Miss Planner. She turned her attention to the old man and placed a gentle hand upon his shoulder. "Elder Crown, what do you have to say?"
Crown scoffed and looked away. The room was silent as the other Elders waited for the oldest member of their ranks to respond, but he stubbornly refused to look them in the eye. After a full thirty seconds came and went, Miss Planner crossed her arms and sighed impatiently.
"Well? This is rather important to all of us, wouldn't you agree, Elder Crown?" she asked, a hint of annoyance creeping into her voice.
He continued giving her the silent treatment. The old man was as stubborn as a turtle, but Miss Planner knew that if she pushed hard enough, he would eventually cave.
"Elder Omen, don't you think it's disgraceful when people rely on violence to solve their problems? And yet here we have an entire line-up of elderly men who would happily use their fists to beat each other senseless just because of a small disagreement."
"I couldn't agree with you more, Miss Planner," said Elder Omen, sagaciously stroking his long white beard. "These old fools need to learn a lesson or two about keeping a level head. If you weren't here to keep the peace, I'm sure we would've had a real mess on our hands. Now Crown, my friend, please promise us this won't happen again so we can move on with our discussion."
Crown's pale skin flushed red from anger. He snarled something incomprehensible and shut his eyes tightly. It was almost like he thought if he couldn't see it, it wasn't happening. Miss Planner nodded and stared straight at him.
"What was that, Elder Crown? I'm afraid I couldn't hear you."
Crown gave an angry growl and jumped to his feet.
"You are absolutely intolerable, you blonde pig! I will not be treated like this any longer. I did nothing wrong!" roared the elderly man. His face was mottled with rage, and his lips trembled with barely restrained spittle.
Miss Planner pursed her lips and stared at the old man coldly. "Really, now, isn't that going a little too far? What is it you think I'm doing, exactly?"
"I don't care what you're 'doing' — you're making me out to be a brute for no reason whatsoever! Do you expect me to sit here and take this? You insult me, yes you do, and for that, I'll have your hide!"
"Now stop it," said Miss Planner sharply. "Please. I really cannot allow you to speak to me that way. I am merely asking you to treat the other Elders with a very basic level of respect. The same level of respect, may I remind you, that they have all just promised to show you."
"I don't owe these damned old men anything, and I will not apologize for standing up for myself," hissed Crown. "You are nothing but trouble, you worthless blonde cretin, and we should all thank our lucky stars there's only one of you around. You should go back to being a bank teller because you certainly don't belong here with us."
"Have it your way, then," said Miss Planner calmly, ignoring the angry shouts and raised fists. "I would think that agreeing not to harm another Elder would be the easiest thing in the world for you to do, but I was clearly mistaken. Elder Incarnate, do you happen to have your Stone of Imprisonment on hand? Perhaps we could trap him inside for a few hours until he cools off."
Elder Crown looked at Miss Planner with open-mouthed horror. The other Elders were just as shocked. They had never heard Miss Planner utter a threat before. This was truly something else.
"Hehe... I'd be happy... to oblige you, Miss Planner, but I have sworn... not to do so," said Incarnate sheepishly. He brought out the sinister black stone from his cloak and held it aloft with shame, nearly dropping it in the process.
"Well, maybe it's warranted, just this once. We won't keep him in there forever," said Miss Planner, tossing her hair over her shoulder nonchalantly.
"Khhkhhh... those who don't forgive, are doomed not to be forgiven," murmured Drifter.
"Wait!" shouted Crown, waving his hands apologetically. "My apologies, Miss Planner, Elder Incarnate. I spoke out of turn. Please accept my humblest apology."
The Elders all glared daggers at the old man, silently judging him for being such an insufferably rude idiot. He slunk back into his seat like a defeated dog.
"Good grief," said Miss Planner curtly. "I'd like to ask you one last time, Elder Crown. Will you refrain from attacking your fellow Elders from now on? Can I have your word?"
"I promise."
"Excellent. I really am proud of you for making this commitment, Elder Crown. I know it's not always easy being patient with people, especially when tensions are running high, but we need to put our differences aside sometimes if we want this organization to succeed. It takes hard work and strong leadership to make everything happen here. We've got a lot of problems on our plates, and I can't see how any of us are going to overcome them unless we start working together. All this fighting isn't helping anyone, is it?"
"Uh... indeed, it's not, Miss Planner."
The Elders all turned to look at Miss Planner with bated breath. She smiled reassuringly and stroked her long blonde hair into place. Maybe keeping the Elders from each other's throats was an impossible task after all, but it couldn't hurt to try. It was the very least she could do considering how much money they spent on her every month.
