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Chapter 14
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"George, I'm telling you, this is a bad idea."
"Nonsense, Carl, this the perfect time! With all the strangers in town, nobody will even know we're here!"
"That's not the problem, George. The problem is this whole, 'Oh, let's sneak into a dragon's lair and kidnap back the elf princess,' bit."
"It'll be fine! With everything going on, we'll just sneak in while the dragon is distracted and slip away!"
"George, this bounty is older than you grandma! How do we even know it's still good? By now, the elves have probably forgotten about it."
"Nonsense. Elves live for something like a thousand years and dragons live for practically ever. Two hundred years is nothing."
Carl sighs. "Sure. And remind me what exactly we're doing in this bar?"
George, Carl, and George's two hitherto quiet bodyguards occupy a table on the patio of a bar along the Dragontail River in Tonerg.
"We're here for information," George replies with enthusiasm and then takes a big swig of his beer.
Carl shakes his head.
An stately elf woman enters and takes a seat at the bar. Without a word, the bartender drops some ice in a tumbler and pours her a drink.
"See? There's our information now!" George saunters over to the bar to sit by the elf.
"Pardon me miss, it breaks my heart to see a fair maiden drinking alone. Might I buy you a drink?"
The elf regards George, then hails the bartender, "Alfred, bring the bottle. The boy's paying for it."
Alfred looks at George. "Are you sure, lad?"
George nods. Alfred puts the newly opened whiskey in front of the elf. She takes a long pull from her drink, then tops it up.
"You humans are lucky," she laments, "a hundred years and your relatives are dead. None of this lingering for centuries." She looks at George. "So, new face, what brings you to Tonerg? And if you say, 'me,' you lose points."
George chuckles, "Indeed my lady, my comrades and I are in search of a fell beast."
"Oh? Any fell beast in particular?"
"A Dragon!"
The elf swishes the ice in her drink. "Anyone I know?"
"Yrog'erg. The rapacious scoundrel has captured an elven princess. We seek to slay the beast and return the princess to her home and family."
"Hmm.., again? It's awfully cold to hit on me just to learn about some other girl."
George stammers, "No, I assure you, that's not wh..."
"Be they men or dragons, they're all the same: sweep you off your feet, then fall asleep on you."
George hides in his beer.
"But satisfy my curiosity, how exactly do you plan to slay an elder dragon?"
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The Hunting Festival had kicked off to a rousing start. For four days, dragons and elves and humans had sallied forth, and for four nights, they had partied. I was exhausted. So while most of the hooliguests went out to terrorize the local wildlife, I absconded with Sarah to my mountain perch. So it was that I lay, basking in the Sun and doing a glorious amount of nothing, while Sarah fiddled with her violin. My ears perked up when I heard voices.
"Are you sure this is the right way?"
"Of course. All of her directions have been perfect."
"And it never occurred to you that elf might have played you?"
"Nonsense. She is a woman of virtue!"
"Yeah. Who drank you under the table, then stole your purse."
"Well, she did pay the tab."
Four humanoids, armored in gambesons, breastplates, and helmets, crested the peak and picked their way through the rocks toward my eyrie. Three of them carried arbalests and the fourth carried two muskets. I recognized the new weapons from my show and tell with Zack the other day.
"See?" said the man with the muskets, "There's the beast now."
He pulled one gun off his back, cradled it in his elbow, cocked back the hammer, and lit the cotton wick. The two men behind him loaded their crossbows.
"Hey," said the man standing next to the gunner, "shouldn't we try words first?"
"Foul beast," yelled the gunner, "I demand that you release the princess!"
I looked at Sarah. "Is there something you're not telling me, little one?"
"No?" Sarah replied.
"Your father's not some long lost scion? Your mother didn't elope to escape some awful marriage? No foreign general handed you off?"
Sarah shook her head.
"Sorry gentlemen, no princesses here. She's a shepherd born and raised."
"Enough!" Gunster pulled out a piece of paper and brandished it. "We know you're holding the elf princess hostage!"
I moved between the men and Sarah.
"I can't read that from here."
The man who hadn't unlimbered a weapon grabbed the paper and brought it to me, then retreated. I looked it over, then passed it to Sarah. She studied the picture on it, then looked up.
"Is this Mrs. Sarovna?"
I nodded.
"It is. Gentlemen, the elf you're looking for hasn't been in my care for quite some time. If you want her to go somewhere, you should ask her directly. She still lives in town. Likes to drink at the tavern by the river."
"If we can't get the princess, we'll at least bring back your head!" Gunster shouldered his weapon and pulled the trigger.
BANG!
I lunged at the fool. I felt something smack my right breast and then my jaws closed around the gun-toting moron.
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George fired his gun and the dragon lunged. Carl never saw where the bullet landed. In the next instant, the dragon chomped down on George headfirst. It raised him off the ground and gave a second chomp before it reached up with a thumb-claw and pried the George's armored body off its teeth. The dragon coughed a few times and finally hacked up George's dented helmet. Former George's bodyguards lowered their weapons.
The dragon surveyed the three remaining men.
"Well, gentlemen, is there more to discuss?"
"Our apologies, Lord Dragon," Carl bowed, "for this misunderstanding."
"Indeed."
"Your Benevolence, may we take the body back to his family?"
"You may. However, his weapons and their ammunition are mine."
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"Are you okay, Yrog?" I asked.
"I'll be fine."
Yrog combed her claws through her feathers and a small, lead pellet fell out. She picked it up.
"This thing didn't leave more than a bruise," she dropped it and picked up a musket, "though with some refinement, these things could become a problem."
