NOTE: This one will be on the shorter side as next chapter is going to be a good sized one that can't be split up. We hope you enjoy this one all the same, though.
---
"The only reason I did that to Holly was because you said you'd rape me if I didn't…"
"you said you'd rape me if I didn't."
'you said you'd rape me if I didn't."
---
That's been repeating in my head the entire fucking class, and each time just made me want to beat the shit out of something!
Can't you do something to take my mind off this?
We could talk about how Sophie is right and that no one likes you.
---
"Nobody fucking likes you, so stop doing anything and you'll make everyone happier."
---
That isn't any better. Besides, who the hell does she think she is telling me that people don't like me? Just because I like to keep to myself doesn't mean people don't like me.
Of course people don't like you.
You're a bully that picked on someone clearly weaker than you.
I dug my nails into my palm.
Forget it.
You're still trying to hide from what you don't like so you can pretend everything's fine.
No I'm not! I just- I have plenty of people that like me!
Who?
The people at my old table.
Name one of them.
That- Don't- I don't need to know their names for them to like me!
I went full speed and screamed out inside my head as Esmer ran beside me.
What the fuck does it matter anyway!? Why should I care about something as stupid like that!?
Because you do, and you can't-
Esmer screamed out in the middle of her sentence and disappeared.
Esmer...?
I slowed down, but before I even stopped running she reappeared.
Because you care and you can't change that.
What just happened there?
Nothing.
Don't worry about it.
Like hell that's nothing. I don't want anything else to get fucked up, so if something's going on with you then I want to know.
I told you nothing's wrong.
I don't believe you.
And I don't fucking care if you believe me.
We should focus on this instead.
---
"you said you'd rape me if I didn't."
---
I told you I didn't want to focus on that. And don't change the subject. I want to know what just happened.
Too bad.
It went back and forth like this for the entire goddamn period. Not a single moment of peace, which added a ton more stress I didn't need. Fucking fantastic. Thankfully, the end of class finally came and I got some peace from Esmer as we went back inside and waited until lunch.
Once I walked into the lunchroom, I went to get my food and saw that Robbie's chair was still empty. Same for Holly's, but that wouldn't stop me from going over there to sit down and eat.
"Get the fuck out of Robbie's seat," Sophie said before I even sat down.
"I didn't have anything to do with her going after Holly, but she pissed me off now. So just meet me after school near the front doors and I'll fix everything."
She didn't break eye contact. "No."
"Don't you want to see her get what's coming to her?"
"I don't want anything to do with whatever creepy shit you're planning."
My hands gripped my knees. "Shut up. I'm holding back real hard, but I'm not going to let you say I'm anything like what you heard from her."
More silence as the tension at the table grew.
"Why would she try to stop Malisa earlier if she was just going to start bullying Holly anyway?" The guy that sat next to Holly said.
Sophie's eyes flicked to him for a moment before she crossed her arms and shot me her usual snobby glare. "I don't know, but I'm sure there's a reason."
I leaned forward. "Malisa's lying, because if I want to pick on someone, then I do it myself. Getting other people to do stuff I can is just stupid."
It was a super quick moment, but her eyes flicked away. "And how do I know you're not just trying to push all the blame onto her?"
"I'll get her to tell you the truth, which is why I need you to be there to hear it. I've been trying everything I can to make it up to Robbie and she fucked it all up, so just give me one chance, because I'm not the asshole you think I am."
Her eyes drifted away from me.
"Sophie," Vanessa said as she motioned her closer, "Come here."
We all sat there as they whispered to each other. After a while, Sophie's face stopped looking so sour and she went back to her seat.
"Fine, but I'm recording what you do during it."
"Uhhh, what?"
"If you're really telling the truth and want to make it up to us, then let me record it so I have something over you in case you're lying."
She's trying to blackmail you too.
What's going on with all this blackmail?
"Are you fucking serious? What the hell is it with you guys and blackmail?"
"It's not blackmail," Vanessa said, "It's just something to help protect Robbie and Holly."
"Yes it is. You'd have something over me that you can make me do stuff with."
"It is," Sophie admitted, "And if you do anything to fuck with any more of my friends I'll send it to everyone."
I stared at Sophie as I slid down in my seat.
"All I've wanted is to fix what I messed up. That's been one of the only things on my mind. And you know what? I'm starting to just want to stop. Not because I don't want to make it up to you, but because every time I try to do something you guys make it harder. And now you think I did that to Holly." I put my hands on the table and leaned on them. "Guess what? Holly's probably the coolest person out of all of you." I leaned back. "I don't even know how she's doing. She isn't in the same place as Robbie, right? You guys need to at least tell me that much."
There was a pause before the guy that sat next to Holly spoke up, "She didn't want to come to school today, but she didn't do anything bad."
"Thank you," I said as I looked at him, "Seriously. I was looking forward to sitting next to her this morning on the bus today.”
Ask them if they can stream it to Holly instead.
Let her see that we didn't send Malisa after her.
"Can you stream on your phone?"
"Yeah." Sophie narrowed her eyes at me. "Why?"
"I'm not going to let you record it, but I want you to stream it to Holly. I want her to see this too."
Sophie's shoulders relaxed. I'd think she was letting her guard down, but she was probably just getting tired of dealing with all this. "I don't want her getting stressed out by seeing you."
"Actually," the guy that sat next to Holly said, "Holly would probably like that."
"See? She'll be fine with it," I said to Sophie before turning to the guy, "what was your name again?"
"Ben."
I looked back at Sophie, "Yeah, Ben knows what's best, so tag along and you'll get to help Holly."
"I want to come too," Ben said.
Finally some good news to bring a smile to my face! "Even Ben's coming along. That's another reason to join us."
She leaned back in her chair, "Fine. I'll come, but not to help you."
"That's fine by me."
"Now fuck off." Sophie said.
"Sure thing." I grabbed my food and fucked off back to my old table.
That went better than I thought.
We need to make sure it goes smoothly.
Damn right we will.
