CONTENT WARNING: Starting from this chapter, the story will focus on Kendall's memories. Please be advised that they walk the line, but never go into any detail about any sexual acts whatsoever. It will all be cut to black at those moments.
These kinds of chapters will also be the sole focus of the chapter, so if people wish to skip these sections, then they may as we will always provide a notice before each one. These chapters will be infrequent, however.
Other than that, we hope this chapter is up to standard, and here's the link to the the Discord. https://discord.gg/E2FVejRTaA
I didn't move from that spot for ages as that thing sat right in front of me. Staring at me as I held Esmer tight.
Stop looking at me.
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No.
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You're making this harder than it needs to be.
She's already agreed to do it, so the least you can do is turn your ugly face away and let her get ready.
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Not like there's much time left at all.
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He planted his hands on the ground and twisted himself around. While I held up Esmer's head in front of mine again. Just looking at her made me want to break down again.
…I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I don't want you gone.
I put our foreheads together and shut my eyes.
I know.
And again.
Don't feel bad for doing what you need to to protect yourself.
All I want is to help you.
I admit I went about it in a terrible way, but that doesn't change anything.
…Thanks.
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Time's up. Go lay down on your bed.
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I didn't want to move, but whatever feeling was coming off of the tar monster was scary enough to make me stand up and walk over to my bed. I never let go of Esmer as I laid down.
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Here's how it'll work. I put this against your head.
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He held up that crystal thing.
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And the memory will start to play out in your head. If I so choose, I may stop at any point. It's nine right now. We'll be done by ten or eleven. Depending on how much I can speed up the memories. Either way, we'll be done well before you normally go to sleep.
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I just nodded and rolled over to face away from him. If I had to do this, then I wasn't going to look at that ugly fucking thing.
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This 'ugly fucking thing' is a part of yourself.
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That just makes me want to puke.
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Of course it does. Now shut up and let's get this done with.
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It held up the crystal, and everything around me was replaced the moment it touched my head.
I stood in the living room next to Father as he hugged Mom and Emma. "Do you have everything? Keys? Wallet? Phone?"
"Got everything," Mom said as she gave him a little kiss, "Are you sure you two will be fine on your own?"
"We'll be fine. It's been awhile and I know you and Emma haven't spent much time together. That's why I want you two to stay there for as long as you want. Alright?"
"Thanks Dad!"
"No problem, sweetie." He kissed Emma on the cheek.
"Have fun, Kendall!" Emma said. I didn't say anything and avoided eye contact. "Whatever. You need to learn to lighten up," she said like I was the fucking problem. She's the one that got to walk out that door and not have to deal with him. That spoiled bitch didn't have to go through anything like I did!
Emma turned and walked out the door as Mom stayed behind. "Bye Kendall. We'll be back on Monday."
It was Friday…
I wanted to beg them not to go. I wanted to scream and cry for them to stay, but if I did anything. If I said anything to make them stay. He'd make me wish I hadn't.
"You know how she is. In one of her moods," Dad said. I still didn't look up.
"I know growing up is hard, but you can't act like this all the time. I hope you can ease up over the weekend."
Go drive off a bridge you fucking cunt!
The car horn went off and rushed Mom out the door. Once it shut, Father and I stood there as we watched them drive off. The moment they were out of sight, a whack to the back of my head almost made me stumble forward. But I stood still. Like a statue.
Don't move.
Another whack. Just as hard.
Whatever you do.
Don't move until he tells you to.
And another.
"Mistake"
I didn't say or do anything, so he lowered his head to my eye level.
"Mistake, look at me when I'm talking to you."
My eyes finally drifted to look at him.
"You're going to have a lot of work this weekend. And someone new is coming." He grabbed my collar and pulled me close. "You're going to make him into a repeat customer, or I'm giving you to him for free until you do. Do you understand?"
I nodded.
"I said, do you understand?"
"Yes sir…"
"Good. Now go wait in your room."
I turned and walked up to my room without another word. Closing myself in, I sat on the bed in complete darkness. If he came up here and saw the lights were on he'd get pissed…
I waited. And waited for hours in the dark with a blank stare.. My entire body felt off, because I knew what was coming. The only light was the line of light from under the door.
Even my mind was shutting down.
I didn't think anything.
I didn't feel anything.
I just sat there. Waiting to do the one thing I was good for.
Eventually, the door opened.
Father and two guys behind him.
I was fading in and out so much I barely managed to hear him as he turned on the light.
"They both get an hour each," he said before all three walked in and…
…
…
…
My eyes shot open as I screamed my heart out.
No more no more no more no more no more please no more please stop stop stop please stop.
Esmer's head laid next to me. I pulled her close and latched onto her. Shutting my eyes and crying my eyes out.
—
Being held down for hours.
—
Kendall!
—
Staring blankly at father as he watched and smiled.
—
Open your eyes and look at me.
—
"She likes being called a mistake."
"Really? Well at least she gets it."
—
I heard her, but my eyes were glued shut.
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Honestly, must I do everything myself?
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I opened my eyes. Strings of tar came from that monster and flowed into my head. I looked down, and there was Esmer. In my arms where I left her.
It's okay.
You're safe in your room.
That was just a memory.
You're safe.
We're safe.
A knock at the door.
"Are you okay?" Emma asked, but I couldn't even make myself say anything. I laid there, staring at Esmer.
—
"You were right. $50 for an hour? She's so worth it."
—
Everything's going to be alright.
You're in your room and he's locked away.
He can't hurt us anymore.
"Kendall?" Emma asked again.
"I'm fine!"
I'm fine…I'm…I'm not fine. Please no more. Please…
"Alright. I just wanted to make sure. Try and get some more sleep if you can."
You're safe, and you're amazing.
Don't ever forget that.
Seconds turned into minutes and minutes felt like hours as I laid there with Esmer.
Look at me.
My vision blurred with tears, but I looked at her.
You did amazing.
I was worried, but you handled that so well.
I'm very proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself, too.
Something about her saying that did the trick. At least a little. Still holding onto Esmer, I rolled onto my back as my breathing slowly came back from that extreme.
—
"Good. It's $25 for every extra hour if you're interested."
"I don't have the time, but I'll be sure to take you up on that offer next time."
—
Only to be made worse as my mind replayed everything. The only distraction I had that took me out of my trance was the Tar Monster freaking out and arching its...back? If a big blob of goo had a back.
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Holy shit! That's fucking amazing!
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I stared at him and barely managed to ask-
What are you doing?
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Going to heaven!
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He twisted around until a big chunk of his body slid off of him.
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Holy shit that's actually the single greatest thing I've ever felt in my two weeks of existence!
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He moved around the room with a spring in his step. Fantastic. He got to be happy. Fucking asshole.
He twisted himself around to face me.
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God damn right I deserve to be happy! You spent how many years free from those memories? When Esmer stuffed me away, I had to relive all of them. All of the time! At the same time! Every single second day and night! I had no distractions like wood working. No breaks or time outs. Nothing but being endlessly stabbed from every side with giant knives. But now? Now I get maybe a second between stabs! This is amazing!
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I know my head's fucked up, but is it really that bad in there?
I will admit it was really bad behind that door…
Hey, umm, Tar Monster?
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Enough with that tar monster shit. At least come up with an interesting twist on it. Like Tarmon.
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Okay, Tarmon.
I'm sorry about what I put you through.
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God damn right you better be sorry. And you should be thankful, too! That big ugly crack on your face is gone.
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I held her up to check it out, and a smile almost broke through as I stared at her now only kind of cracked face.
He's right. You're looking more shiny, too.
So are you.
I can't wipe away your tears, but I can tell how beautiful you look.
Because you are exceptionally beautiful.
Don't ever forget that, alright?
And you're right, Tarmon.
Thank you.
I'm feeling the pressure ease up now.
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Yeah, and you got no more 'me' pouring out of your face. Anyway, I told you we'll take things slow, and after that? I might be good until late into next week before I decide to use up another crystal again. For now though, Esmer's going to have to be fine with being a head, and Kendall needs more rest.
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He was right. My heart was still pounding, but Esmer's comments were making it easier to deal with.
I brought Esmer's head back in for a hug and closed my eyes. Everything was numb, but as long as I had Esmer close to me, then maybe I'd be okay.
…
...
…
…
She's asleep.
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And it only took two hours.
Anyway, I'm sure even you're aware I gave her one of the smallest crystals in here.
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I am.
I know it's going to get a lot worse.
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You need to prepare yourself as well as. The memories that you don't remember are the worst, and they're going to be far more intense for you than her. She might have to be the one to comfort you when that time comes.
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Even so, I'll do my best to be there for her.
And I'll be ready to remember the worst stuff when the time comes.
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Good.
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