To sum it up, we got really sick last Friday and only got better a few days ago. Meaning the last chapter isn't ready. We're not going to let a scheduled release go without something though, so we're putting up this old dream chapter. We're sorry for the delay, and we'll be posting next Friday.
This one is quite clearly having a bit of fun with James Bond, and a certain music video that is also inspired by James Bond.
Link to the Discord for updates: https://discord.gg/Gbh2t4UpAt
I spun around in my chair, petting my tar cat as Holly held out her gun towards me while my men aimed theirs at him. "Well well well. Mrs. Holly. We meet again. I suggest you put down your weapon."
"Now why would I do that?"
I snapped my fingers, and a cage with Robbie and Sophie locked inside rolled out from behind the wall. Standing up, my tar cat turned into Tarmon and joined Esmer in standing at my side as I held my arm out towards the cage. "Because I've captured your friends! Now put down your gun and kick it away from you."
She glared at me, but tossed aside her weapon and my men surrounded her.
"What shall we do with her now?" Esmer said.
"Bring out the laser we've been developing!"
"Right away, ma'am." One of my men said as a group of them rushed off and came back with a suitcase. When they opened it to show it off, it wasn't anything like I thought it'd be.
"That's…quite a bit smaller than I was expecting," I said as I picked it up and stared at the laser that was no bigger than my hand.
"We spent a lot of money developing this."
"And this is an actual laser?"
"It is, Ma'am. You press the button to turn it on."
"If you said so." I walked past them and up to Holly with it in hand. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this day!" I pointed the laser at her with the biggest smile I had all month.
"Killing me won't stop us. They'll just send someone else."
I put my finger on the button.
"Not when they learn of my new toy."
I glanced at my hand, waiting to press the button. But I didn't do anything.
"Is there a problem?" Esmer said with her hands behind her back as she walked up to my side. A certain tone in her voice annoyed the hell out of me.
"Of course not! I'm just savoring the moment."
"But of course." She stood by my side. Something was going on. I could feel a smile come from her, but I would focus on that later. I held out the laser again, but still nothing.
…
"I have a better idea." I said as I turned away from Holly. "Your organization needs to understand the technology we have at our disposal. So I will demonstrate for you and you'll tell your superiors that we are not to be messed with. Bring out the test dummy!"
My men rolled out the test dummy and I pointed the laser at it.
With Holly and all my men watching, I turned it on and it sent a small red beam at it, but nothing was actually happening.
…
I peeked over at the closest guy. "How long does it take?"
"Take to do what, Ma'am?"
I turned off the laser and got in his face to whisper. "What do you mean do what? To burn it to a crisp."
"It doesn't do that, Ma'am."
"Why wouldn't it-" I stopped myself and lowered my voice as I peeked over at Holly. "Why wouldn't it do that? What did you guys do with all that money I gave you?"
"We bought Edwins, Ma'am."
"...Wha- Edwins? What are those?"
"Rubber duckies, Ma'am."
In a hushed yell, "You spent our money on rubber duckies!?"
"They come with Bluetooth speakers, Ma'am."
"I don't give a fuck about Bluetooth. How much money did you throw away on that crap?"
'Ninety-eight percent of what you gave us, Ma'am."
"I gave you five billion dollars! You're telling me you spent almost five billion on rubber duckies!?"
"They're quite cute, Ma'am."
"For fucks sake. Show me where they are."
"They're in the 'threaten pit,' Ma'am.'"
…
"Open it up." I demanded as I turned around and stood in front of a part of the floor that sunk down and slid off to the side to reveal a pit filled to the brim with rubber duckies.
"This pit is twenty stories deep. You guys filled a pit this deep with rubber duckies."
"Technically they're called Edwins, Ma'am."
I grabbed him and threw him onto the mountain of rubber duckies. "I gave you all specific instructions to use that money to develop a freakin laser beam!"
"We're sorry Ma'am, but we got conflicting orders," Another one spoke up.
"From who!? I'm your boss, you listen to me!"
"They were orders from you, Ma'am."
"What do you-" I paused and slowly looked at Esmer. "Esmer. I'm going to give you one chance."
Looking down at me, she placed a hand on my head. "I had to. The challenge would be gone and we'd go back to the agents that couldn't hold a candle to her. Besides, we love rubber duckies."
"God damn it Esmer! Fine!" I marched up and snatched one of their guns and pointed it at Holly. Just as I was about to pull the trigger, the alarm sounded, marking the end of the work day. Looking up at the red flashing light, I lower my gun and let out a deep sigh. "Lock her up. We'll do this tomorrow." I shoved the gun into my grunts hands and marched out with Esmer and Tarmon at my side.
The moment I exited the building, I walked in through my front door and put my hat and coat on the hanger as Esmer started to make dinner for the three of us.
I still can't believe you told them to spend all that money on ducks.
We'll be thanking us soon enough.
+++
Less talking, more cooking.
+++
Tarmon and I sat at the table as Esmer instantly put three plates with five big rib eye steaks on the table.
—
Holly being held at my secret hideout.
—
Even off duty, we're still thinking of her.
I picked up a steak and shoved it into my mouth, bone and all. While Tarmon face planted onto his plate and started chewing without even lifting his head up.
Because if she's the best they got, then when I get rid of her I'm going to be able to do whatever I want.
+++
You don't have the guts to actually get rid of her.
+++
I'll show you I can tomorrow.
Esmer calmly sat down, picked up the plate and held it up to where her mouth would be if she had one. Seconds later, and her head cracked open to reveal a mouth that expanded several times bigger than her own head. Rows and rows of razor sharp spikes in the form of splintered wood lined her mouth as she tossed the meat and the plate in and chomped down. Instantly, the crack in her head that gave her a mouth disappeared. As she wiped her 'mouth,' muffled mechanical grinding came from inside her as she chewed the meat.
Why wait?
Today is tomorrow.
Rubbing my eyes, "Fine." I grabbed the rest of my steaks with my bare hands and walked out the door and into my secret base. Esmer and Tarmon didn't say a word as I walked into my office. Holly was locked in a table with a giant laser aimed right at her. I strolled up to her as my men circled around the room and started to sing a tune.
"Do do dooo, do do dooo, do do dooo
Dooo Dooo"
One of my scientists walked up to hand me a controller, and I snatched it from his hands. It had two buttons on it. One red and one green.
"Do do dooo, do do dooo, do do dooo
Dooo Dooo"
Stopping in front of Holly as she looked up at the laser and tried to break free. "You don't have to do this," she said as I smiled and held up the remote.
"I've come this far, there's no stopping now. Power it up!"
The laser charged with electricity and lit it up while it waited for me to activate it. "It's been fun, but now it's time I win." I raised my hand to slam the red button, but there was a moment of hesitation before I brought my hand down.
"Do do dooo, do do dooo, do do dooo
Dooo Dooo"
Esmer grabbed my hand before i could press the red button. Making me turn away and walk off while I stared down at the remote.
God damn it!
Tarmon and Esmer huddled around me as my eyes drifted from the red button to the green.
"Do do dooo, do do dooo, do do dooo.
Dooo Dooo"
+++
Make up your mind already.
+++
I don't know…
We do and there's no sense in pretending anymore.
+++
Do do dooo, do do dooo, do do dooo.
Dooo Dooo
+++
My eyes fixated on the green button and it seemed like the red button was miles away at this point.
Do do dooo, do do dooo, do do dooo
Dooo Dooo
Walking to the other side of the room, I raised my hand and slammed my finger on the green button. The restraints to Holly's table came undone and she got free. I chose not to watch her leave as I heard her footsteps up the stairs, but they stopped. Curious, I peeked behind me to see her standing at the top of the steps. Looking at me.
One of the minions turned on the jukebox and she started rocking her head up and down to the beat. A smile spread across my face when she walked down the stairs towards me. All Esmer needed to do was give me a little push, and I walked up to her. When we met in the middle, we broke out into a fast paced, synchronized dance. Leading us up and down the room in the best dance that has ever graced my minion's eyes. With lots of jumps and spins and every movie we could think of.
We danced the entire work day, and when it was over, Holly and I went back to my place for dinner.
