The next thing I knew, I was awake, my elven torso resting on my back. It was still dark outside and presumably, in the middle of the night. I opened my two eyes and stared up at the webbed ceiling, wondering why I woke up as I was still sleepy.

Did Cellestra accidentally wake me up?

I looked around with my spider eyes but there was no sign of the elf anywhere, to my regret.

Was it that? Did my mind presume I was to be woken up by the elf? I had experienced this before where I couldn’t sleep until I knew that she was sleeping soundly, but I didn’t expect that to keep me out of my sleep.

I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind kept wandering off to her. The way the elf slept against my spider body last night… I longed to experience the same feeling again.

I remained awake for a while, hoping that at any moment, she would just wander in here so that I could more or less hug her, but there seemed to be no sign of that happening. I cursed my mind for this being so distracting. Come to think of it, I never had given her a proper hug yet, not that I didn't want to.

I let out a deep sigh as I tried desperately to get back to sleep. Despite my spider body being so comfortable, I didn’t seem to have that kind of luck…

This was just torture…

The feeling of being in love was both wonderful and painful at the same time. Maybe it would be better for the two of us to not be around each other for the entire day tomorrow. Maybe I could come up with ways to try to talk about this while she wasn’t around.

I started doubting myself again. Should I tell her about this before we set out? Should I talk about it when we returned to her home after Edhil? I felt like I was obliged to let her know before we would truly leave this place behind, so she could factor that in with her decision. Though, she did seem okay with leaving all this behind to try to find a cure with me either way.

This was so difficult…

And I hadn’t even factored in that I wasn’t an elf anymore, at least, not entirely. So far, Cellestra had not seemed to mind what I was, but I could imagine it being somewhat of an obstacle when it came to acquiring something more than just friendship.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of all the worries. They weren’t something I could change, so I felt it was pointless to worry about, for now. I distracted myself by looking at my enhancement options.

There wasn’t much there that was new, but the cold resistance enhancements wouldn’t be bad to acquire. I decided to take them as they were fairly cheap as well. I did the same for the language skills. I’d ignored them for so long, and since they didn't cost me much, I figured I might as well.

The amphibian tongue was simply left alone. I didn’t see any use for it.

I allowed the enhancements to seep their information into my brains. I felt the hair on my body shift as it seemed more mana was pushed into them. It was hard to make out what exactly happened to them, but I felt that they offered better insulation. It didn’t seem to have much effect right now as the temperature was still moderately warm, but in colder areas like the one in the dungeon, it would have a noticeable effect.

After everything was finished up, my list had shrunk considerably again. There were only the spiderling enhancements and the weird tongue ones left, which I did not plan to take, maybe ever.

When the blue square before me finally disappeared, I felt a wave of boredom crash over me. I tried getting back to sleep, but the need to have Cellestra close to me kept me from it. I don’t know how long it took, but it seemed forever before I was successful in embracing the sweet mercy of unconsciousness.

When I next opened my eyes, it was because I heard Cellestra’s voice call out my name. The sun’s light still managed to permeate the thick layer of threads that made up my nest, as did its warmth.

“Did you sleep well?” I heard her call out from behind me. The elf was standing outside of my shelter and her voice was filled with positivity. A smile crept on my lips when I knew that at least one of us had had a good night’s rest.

I was still tired, and my elven torso was just so comfortable laying in my long hair on my back that I couldn’t be bothered to move when I replied to the elf.

“Not really, but I can hear that you did.”

“Yeah,” Cellestra spoke. “I had the rare occasion where I slept fairly well. Are you hungry, by any chance?”

I would truly be surprised if I was hungry at this point. “Nope, not at all.”

“I had expected as much. If you’re still tired, just take your time, okay? I’ll be doing a few things in the house in the meantime. There are a few things I’ll pack, and I guess I’ll set Elania free.”

“Who’s that?” I asked, unsure what Cellestra was talking about.

“My tarantula.”

“Weren’t we going to come back here after Edhil, or is it so far away that you don’t be able to feed it in time?”

“Honestly,” Cellestra started. “For all I care, we don’t come back here and we just continue our journey instead.”

“I see,” I spoke softly, but loud enough for the elf to hear. “What about the peddler?”

“I’ll leave a note on the door. He’s the only one that comes through here anyway.”

“So what do we do then? Do we head to Edhil tomorrow?” I asked.

“If that’s okay with you.”

“It’s fine by me.”

Her decision to not come back here would complicate the timeline for my confession, but I wasn’t going to argue her decision. I knew full well that coming back here was not exactly necessary. I guessed I couldn’t plan any of this out. Maybe I should give up on trying to see what was best and instead allow it to occur when the moment came naturally. Maybe that was for the best, either way.

I started running my hand through my spider head’s hair as I thought about what to do. It was weird, but it also felt comforting in an odd way. It was as if someone else was doing it, but I had full control over it.

“Did you want to head to the dungeon today?” Cellestra asked me.

“I think it’s best I do that, yes.”

“But do you want to?” Cellestra asked again.

I continued staring at the ceiling of my nest. “I don’t know,” I spoke honestly. I was confident that Cellestra would be able to figure out soon enough that I wasn’t feeling too well at the moment.

“Are you okay?” The elf asked, worry evident in her voice.

“I am okay. I guess you could say I am just worried… more than usual that is.”

I wasn’t lying when I said that. It was entirely true that I was worried about everything that awaited me. I noted that I seemed to have lost so much of my old self in that regard. I never would have thought that possible.

“Can I help?” She asked.

How was she going to help when she was the reason for most of the worries that surrounded me at this moment?

“I don’t know,” I said once again.

“Okay,” Cellestra replied in her sweet, caring voice. “If you want to talk about anything, I’ll be inside. Just tap on the window.”

“Thank you,” I replied.

I heard her footsteps on the grass as she made her way back inside. The sound of the door closing was my cue to relieve myself of a deep sigh that I’d been holding in.

I tried to relax for several more minutes. I still wanted to go to the dungeon as I knew the importance of growing stronger. It was likely that not everyone would be as forgiving to my appearance as the elf. I wanted to be prepared in case things took a turn for the worse with certain individuals. It was inevitable that I was going to have to talk to people for information.

Some elves were already aware of my existence and, even though they knew I was not a threat, and the fact that Cellestra had put in a few good words for me, I knew some wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to kill something as… exquisite as me.

I felt myself dozing off as I cleared my heads. I allowed myself to fall asleep once more. Hopefully, I could focus better after waking up again.

Faragi

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