Joshua was crying with Martha's corpse in his hands. And then the scenery changed again. 

He was again in front of the church, in the same weak body, and again not in control of his body. He again followed his father's command and saw her being tortured and saw her burn again. He killed everyone again. 

The scenery keeps changing and he was always at square one.

The same process of him coming back in front of the church, he kept following his father's orders like he was a doll. He kept seeing her on the cross, he kept seeing her bruised body and in the end, he would kill everyone over and over. 

He was in constant hell. The trauma that he has surpassed under the rage was coming to him. 

He was feeling all of this was his fault if only he would have some courage back then, if only he would have some power, and thousands of ifs. 

Joshua was cursing himself for her death all this time. He was just trying to not remember this by drowning himself in work. 

Joshua hated that he killed people, yes he hated himself for that cause Joshua at his heart was just a Kind guy who wanted to save everyone. And it was this overwhelming desire to save her that awakened his power, and the power that he awakened was to heal not to kill. 

But in his rage, he killed 100's if not over 1000. He killed people who didn't have anything to do with her death, he killed children, women, and whatnot.

And once his rage cools down, the guilt was so much that it was going to kill him. He wanted to die but his powers made it impossible for him to die. 

He hadn't slept in 2 years because he saw her death and his massacre in dreams. 

And now this, this was Joshua's guilt in front of him. He was seeing the person he loved most die a horrible death and him killing people. 

Joshua lost count of how many times the same things have happened. If it was any other person he would have gone insane but Joshua was special, his power kept him sane and it was a curse. 

And eventually, this guilt that he was feeling became rage. He was angry at everyone and mostly at himself. This rage reached so much that even for his power's it was hard to keep him from going insane and then it happens the rage was too much to handle for his power's, It was so much that if this rage manifested as an entity of itself then it would burn the whole universe down. His powers gave up and then it was like a dam broke up and This time Joshua got control of his body. 

He was again in front of the Church. But this time his eyes were red. He was taking long breaths. His father again tells him to move but this time Joshua turns toward him and grabs his father's head and presses it with his super strength. His father's head burst into blood and brain matter. He looked at his mother and in a swift motion cut her head too. A red fountain of blood comes from her neck and her head and body fall on the ground. 

Joshua looked at both of them, and then with a maniacal smile on his face, he went inside the church. But this time something different happens as when he got inside the prayer hall he saw that Martha was already burning on the cross, and when he saw a version of himself being pushed into the floor by his father, the same father he just killed. 

It was so much for his mind to take in, the rage, the guilt, and self-loathing, and his mind was done for but something happened. Inside his actual body the second X- Gene which was activated for some time but was never showing any active power, started pumping energy inside his veins, and this energy started to move inside his body and reached his brain but it was not done. This energy bypassed the barrier between the physical body and soul and seeped into his soul. 

It starts to empower his body and soul. 

And in Joshua's Mindscape, he got some clarity. He looked toward the scene of Martha burning and the church in ruins and again started to cry.

" Why…. Why? " Joshua was wailing and then everybody that was there in the church started to shout. 

" You monster, you deserved it. " 

" You! freak! " 

" You deserved it. " 

" It was not us who killed her, It was you. " 

" Yes, it was you. "

Joshua was looking at them in horror and covered his ears with his hands. 

" No, No I didn't kill her. "

Joshua was shouting and crying. 

Joshua saw the charred corpse of Martha start rising. 

She was looking at him with deep hatred and said

" You, Josh. Why did you have to do it to me? " 

" You said you loved me and you did this to me. " 

" You said you would protect me, but you just saw how they burned me. " 

" How did they do those horrible things? " 

Joshua looked at her and said 

" Believe me, Martha I loved you with all my being and still love you. I didn't know this was going to happen. " 

" LIAR!!! " 

" If you loved me then why is it that you are alive and I died. " 

" Why is it that you are so powerful and Still didn't save me? " 

" Why is it that even after knowing what your parents were doing to my kind, you never told me. You knew I was one of the mutant's, I told you about my powers. But you never told me. " 

" YOU! JOSHUA! IS! JUST! A! LIAR! "

With every word, Joshua's heart was breaking apart. 

'She is right, what right do I have to live? And for whom should I live? ' 

Joshua started to use his powers to destroy his body's atoms. He didn't even think about how he was able to do it, he was just doing it. 

Joshua's body started to degrade and in his last moments some memories came to him

" You know Josh, if one day I died, would you save people in my stead? " 

" Young master, what would you have for dinner? " 

" Young master, you should take some rest, you are working for hours right now. " 

" My Lord, one more step has been completed for our race's Glorious future. " 

" Why would I miss an emo kid? " 

One small tear fell from his eyes.

Joshua stopped his suicide. 

He smiled, standing up, and walked toward Martha's body. Caressed her cheek and smiled sweetly at her. 

" You see Martha, I loved you and will continue to do so. I have a lot of regrets and all of them are related to you

 For quite a long time I was suppressing this guilt in me but not anymore.

And believe me, my love, there is nothing in this world that I want more than to be with you but I can't. 

I have a family now. A father who was always there for me, a mother, a brother, and a sister who is waiting for me to wake her. And they all loved me. It is not that I love you but their love is stronger than mine. 

If I die, My father, Sebastian will lose his will to live, my mother Mary will cry and there will be no one to stop her tears, My little brother Darwin will break from inside and he is just a kid. My sister will never open her eyes. " 

" So long, my love. "

And with that Joshua Hugs her and a white light surrounds them and Joshua opens his eyes to the real world. 

In one of the astral planes, a woman was shedding tears of happiness. 

" So long, my love".