a/n: This author had zero intentions in supporting suicide and would also advice those who are under depression and pressure to erase such thoughts for there are things to look forward in life. (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

The people that you envied also experienced their worst but yet overcome it. The world isn't nice and pretty however it is not the world who judges you but you yourself.

(ó﹏ò｡) i learned this the hard way.

So please, stop looking at the good things people have but the harsh pursuit for happiness that they've experience. ( '•︵•' )

-sincerely from a once depressive teenager. ♡(灬'ㅂ'灬) *shy

*-*-*-*-*-*

It was on a Friday, March 14

"W-w-why the f*ck is a bastard like you doing here! F*ck off! F*CK OFF!!!" his mother's screams echoed through the enclosed hospital room raising its volume decibels louder.

"Mom, how was your day?" Long Jun didn't mind and smiled crouching down to pick up the bouquet of roses he prepared to celebrate the occasion.

"Happy birthday"

She was unhappy. Terribly unhappy that his earnest well wishes were like needles building a new crack in her mind. It sounded so f*cking sarcastic that she grabbed the bouquet hitting him repeatedly to release her anger.

"Birthday? happy? F*CKING INSANE!!!F*CK! F*CK YOU!!! GET OUT! OUT!!!"

The muscular nurses came rushing in restraining his crazy mother forcefully pulling her down on her bed. The rubber straps were hurriedly latched around her and a woman finally arrived with a syringe pushing it a bit to make sure that the drug would smoothly puncture through her system.

He was there idly sitting used to this repeated scene. The smile on his face didn't waver despite the tiny thorns that came off and attached themselves onto his slightly tanned skin which emphasized his obsidian bright eyes and slightly chiseled face. He was a looker that despite all chaos that sole nurse would steal glances while injecting the calming substance into his mother's nerves.

His mother's green eyes that were full of burning hate were dimming not taking her eyes away from his bastard son who never took off that eerie smile. A tear trailed down and she blacked out.

"Mr. Long." the nurse called out a bit shy and he turned to her to listen.

"Are you okay?" The female nurse swiftly sat on his side opening up the rest of the contents left inside the kit to tend to his wounds.

"Im fine." He stopped the busy hand with a gaze that said it wasn't needed.

With her hand held in his she blushed and trembled, happy that she finally get to touch the hand she's been fantasizing on for the past months.

So lucky!

"You said. . . y-y-you have something to tell me?" This woman lost all composure and forgot whatever that just happened a minute ago. These mother and son pair had been regular visitors of the psychiatric ward and it wasn't Long Jun's first time to have witnessed this happening so she wasn't considerate and accepted this as natural.

Long Jun raises his other hand to pluck out the thorns at the side of his face, he wanted to act cool but it really was annoying to have something poke him whenever he moved his jaw.

The female nursed broke out of her daze and assisted him repeatedly reminding him to stay still and that she'll do the job.

After treating his minor wounds they sat on a bench situated in the middle of the garden. Behind them was a huge ginkgo tree hiding them from the sun's harmful rays. He looked at his black-gold Rolex to check for the time. This watch was the most expensive looking a bit out of sorts with his outfit, he never wanted to wear it but had no choice since he lost his phone.

The dandy watch didn't escape the female nurse's greedy eyes and her heart sped up determined to hook up with this handsome and rich man.

Long Jun didn't mind and took out a small notebook from his inner pocket. He skimmed the pages first and when he found it, he gently rested on the nurse's palm.

"I have a favor to ask."

The woman had her head down reading through the note and almost jumped off her seat.

"T-t-this!? what do y-you mean by. . ."

"It's my bank account number."

He let go of his hand and hid them inside his pocket waiting till she snapped out of her shock and look at him. The woman was smart and tugged on his sleeve willing to listen.

"There will be money sent there every month and I want you to settle my mother's bills for me."

"W-why me?"

"You like me don't you?" he smiled and stared at her dazzling the nurse with his pretty face and on queue she blushed madly.

"My mother have only less than a year to live and when she passes away you can keep it, I'll continue sending money."

This transaction was too tempting that she couldn't hide her joy and the greed that settled within her eyes. She wasn't dumb enough to readily accept it and quickly expressed a hesitant and troubled expression.

This change made Long Jun want to laugh but held it not wanting to ruin this romantic moment. He raised a palm and gently rubbed her cheek with love reflecting his eyes.

"I'll be away. . . and I don't think ill be back soon so can you do this for me? I beg you."

His brows furrowed and his face twisted aggrieved. This hurtful expression was something a woman like her couldn't say no at and even felt hurt at the sight of this.

She leaned close and lightly pecked his lips for a kiss then hid behind the comfort of the small notebook to calm her beating heart.

Long Jun joyfully laughed and ruffled her fixed hair he checked at the time again and stood up ready to leave for his next appointment.

"W-w-wait!" she grabbed his a hand with force and looked at him with concern. She hit the jackpot receiving money and sneaking a kiss but the most important thing was that if this man now belonged to her.

"Will you be back?!" she asked unable to control the tone of her voicing calling the attention of others who were busy with their patients.

Long Jun didn't answer and walked closer to her, imitating the light kiss that she gave him before showing an intoxicating smile and left.

The bystanders who witnessed this were awed and the female nurses glared at the lucky girl who was now sporting an anticipating and smug look on her face.

Long Jun didn't drive a Porsche or anything but simply hailed a taxi to drive him back home to his apartment.

When he went through the front door there was another woman, a rare beauty who was busy packing the rest of her stuff away inside her big luggage.

It was his girlfriend.

"You're back?" she asked quite calm and was finishing up packing.

"Mmn, are you leaving now?"

His Yiyi and him we're together for 5 years already. She fell inlove with his gentleman self and how caring and loving he was whenever they were together. The first 3 years were so sweet and fulfilling yet as time passed the fire died down that they decided to break up.

The romance was good, the sex was the best she ever had, but this man had always stayed the same that everything became dull.

They never fought, they never argued, whenever there's something she wanted Long Jun never said no and listens to her in everything.

There was no excitement.

She knew that everyone envied her for having such a perfect prince on a white horse. She repeatedly thought it through since they were right but she couldn't force herself to stick with him just because he was perfect.

Actually, It was the reason why.

This man was too perfect.

Perfect to a point that it felt unreal.

When she started thinking of it this way that was when everything took a full turn.

His smile was too charming.

His gentleness was too warm.

His understanding was too good.

His temper was too nice.

Yiyi gave the room one last look and walked in front of his now ex-boyfriend.

She'll never get tired looking at this face.

"I'm going." Aren't you gonna stop me?

"Take care on the road."

She stared at him for a bit and pointed at the eye catching rolex.

"Can I have it?"

Long Jun didn't hesitate and gestured himself to remove it.

She let out a wry smile and walked past letting the wheels of her luggage leave a lasting impression inside the quiet apartment.

The door shut itself with a beep and Long Jun was left alone.

The silence was then broken with the house phone suddenly ringing and Long Jun didn't hesitate to pick it up.

Jun?

"Mr. Yu."

Im at Qianmen, be here 30 mins.

The call ended and Long Jun hurriedly went to his room and change out of his cheap clothes. He took the unused suit that was wrapped in plastic and changed into it. Mr. Yu was inviting him to their usual restaurant, one of the most expensive in Beijing.

Since he was meeting a big figure in the business industry he didn't dare slack off his appearance and further enhanced his already handsome self. The gentle air around him was also switched out into a more domineering and manly one giving an impression of an elite.

He went down to the garage area that was solely built to hide the expensive Porsche that he barely touched. He didn't want to be an embarrassment so even if he didn't like it, Long Jun needed to keep his image.

All heads turned to him when he arrived sporting a dashing black suit with his face that made all women blush and the men glaring in annoyance.

A bodyguard welcomed him in and led him into a private room. As the door opened, there sat a slightly similar looking man who nodded his head to take a seat. If the two were apart from each other, the resemblance was hard to see but now that they're facing the other it was easy to tell that they were siblings.

"Mr. Yu." Long Jun nodded with a natural looking smile on his face.

The man didn't say a thing and nodded but when he saw the small cuts on the side of Long Jun's face his brows couldn't help but furrow.

"What happened?" Yu Jiang quite liked this little brother who was not greedy. He never tried to ask for benefits despite being a bastard son of his father's. Yu International kept growing bigger and bigger yet this little brother became more humble as years passed.

"Nothing. Just a cat." he chuckled quite amused.

His older brother was convinced and took out a box and put it in-front of him.

"Happy Birthday." he said with a slight smile. If the people of his company were to see this they would've rubbed their eyes till it'll bleed unable to believe this blinding scene of two handsome men smiling at each other. The cold-blooded Boss' lips were arched! He's smiling upon an insignificant human! Ahh!

(」゜ロ゜)」 the world is ending!!!

Inside the box was the black bank card that all plebeians out there were begging to at least have the chance to look upon.

(a/n: Yes, he and his mom shares the same birthday.)

Long Jun didn't think twice and closed it handing it back to his half brother.

"Your sentiments are enough."

Yu Jiang expected this and took another box and inside was another Rolex. It was a Cosmograph watch primarily black outlined in silver, the expense clearly a few times more than his old one.

"If you don't accept this then I'll force both on you."

Long Jun knew that his half-brother wasn't the type to speak nonsense and accepted it with a heavy heart. After switching his old into the new one, the two ate in silence and parted ways.

He drove his car to a car dealer that he made an appointment with and everything was settled smoothly. They were thrilled to had landed on a cheap deal since Long Jun was eager to be payed in cash. He hailed a taxi again and headed to a cancer research center donating all the money he had inside his case.

Arriving home, he packed up his stuff for a trip, took a night flight and flew all the way to his apartment in Shanghai.

The apartment door was no different and closed with a beep.

He looked around first and in an instant his constant smiling face vanished.

The beauty of the pair of bright onyx eyes lost its luster. They were now dim and lifeless and staring into them would make a person freeze. Not in fear, but the deep dark abyss that yearned for nothing, creeping you out with a sense of dread.

Beijing was where the stage could be found. Shanghai was where he could take his mask off and face life.

He didnt idle for long and wore the surgical gloves he kept in his pocket. He dragged his luggage beside his bed and started trashing its contents imitating a burglar. Satisfied with the mess he moved around the room sweeping whatever he could off its place often hitting the walls with his body leaving signs of struggle.

The room was now anew. Chaotic.

All this work just to save his Father's family some face,leaving the Yu's untainted.

Long Jun took of his blazer and threw it aside. He picked up a potted plant and hid his gloves underneath it. He made sure to water all his plants not leaving any trace of dirt to possibly hide the evidence forever.

He leaned behind the wide window and closed his eyes.

Beep...Beep....Beep...

The rhythmic beeping of the landline was all that could be heard. His dead fish eyes were staring blankly into space.

He was done.

He was finished.

He didn't want to endure anymore.

He was a bastard and grew up open to this fact. His mother was a loose woman and when she gave birth to him he was passed around to his mother's not-so-good friends and was often neglected. The women were bearable simply leaving him alone at the side, most of the men used him as an outlet of their anger, especially his mother's boyfriends who were dumped.

He would go to school wearing a thick wide jacket hiding whatever he could hide so he could spend the day without receiving pitying looks from the adults around him or the opposite, their mocking stares.

The turnaround happened when his mother went missing for a month and a man with glasses picked him up from school taking him into a huge mansion.

A domineering man sat on a wide couch with an older boy who looked almost exactly as the man beside him.

The man asked him if he wanted to stay with them but he refused, asking them to let him live alone. He had no inclinations of taking what's theirs and with a wide grin he hopped around, happy to finally be by himself and live a normal person's life.

Neither did they know it was too late.

The 13 year old him was already broken.

How did he survive if he wasn't?

Whenever he was abandoned he would beg on the streets for food.

Whenever he was called out to get hit he would muffle his voice and come back again when needed.

Whenever those kind people approach him he would smile and tell them not to worry since he knew these people wouldn't help all the way selfishly leaving him to himself when things turn for the worse.

When those mocking eyes and voices surrounds him, he never failed to have a cute smile on his innocent face to keep them away and not go over the line.

He was 13, and now he was 23.

10 years passed and he's already too tired to be around people.

Why can't people be satisfied with what he could give?

Why can't people be satisfied for what he is and not for what he lacks?

Why couldn't anyone see the pain behind the smile that was now too hard for him to remove?

As he got older the world just seemed to dye itself further into black.

Does he only have himself to blame?

The white canvas in his heart were painted into murky black in each stroke, manipulated by his dark thoughts.

A stroke and he moved forward.

Another and he moved further.

He was half the living room's width away from the window and his back was facing against it.

". . . I "

He mumbled staring at his expensive shoes.

"I. . . "

His sight moved to the painting that fell of the wall which was a portrait that an artist sketched of himself with his eyes closed, and the sun rays hitting his face sitting on a park bench.

"I want to rest. . ."

He dashed backwards without looking back using all the strength his legs could muster and broke through the glass with one try.

His body was free falling through the air as he jumped out of his 10th floor apartment. He noticed the new watch he received just the night before and smiled.

This smile, a sad one.

SNAP.

For a short 5 seconds he was able to hear the crowd's horror-full screams. To make things worse he landed on someone's car and it resounded a deafening beep waking him up at the last 2 seconds of his life.

It's over. . .

finally. . . over. . .

[Stabilising connection with 'Host'. . .]

[Initializing. . . in 3. . . 2. . . 1. . .]

[Binding successful!]

[Connection with 'WanWan' established!]

His world of darkness suddenly warped and turned to blue.

(a/n:
I warned. It's a cliffhanger. ('･ᴗ･ ' ))