" Yes, Young master. " She looked at me for a moment and she replied without hesitation.
Mother got very good eyes for the people. I knew about her because she was the same type as me. We were walked the path until the end even if our path was wrong and evil. We were never turned back even if we forgot why did we walk that path or we knew that we were in the wrong. Because we would do that to see the results of our efforts.
Mira was that type of person. Extremely loyal person and the best person to have as a servant.
" Good. Mira. " I stood up and patted her head. Suddenly the door was opened and a loud voice resounded in the room. The person who opened the room rushed to me and hugged my body tightly.
" Oh, My dear boy. I will die if something happened to you again. " That person said with tears and sadness. I could smell the good perfume from that person and my breathing was suffocating due to I was buried that woman's big breasts.
" Mom, I'm fine. " I replied to her as I hugged her body. I stationed my head in a comfortable position and her big breasts were extremely soft. I didn't bother to free myself from her hug because it felt so good. My little brother was erecting like a telephone tower. I was 15 years old this year and I was educated at home but every noble needed to attend the Academy at the age of 18.
" No. You're not. My heart was breaking when I heard that you hurt yourself. " My mom told me as she caressed my body gently.
" Don't worry mom. I'm totally fine. " I replied her with a firm tone while holding her face with my hands. I looked at her eyes and she looked at my eyes.
" My son, you change. " My mother muttered after glaring at each other eyes.
" Yeah. Mother. I have a dream about how I was useless and coward. I don't want to become like that. I want to do everything I want. " I said her with a serious tone. I didn't have any intention to hide the things from her. She was the best Mom.
" I see. Mom will support you. " Mom patted my head gently and said with a smile.
" What are you talking to Mira? " Mother asked as she sat beside me on the bed.
" I am asking her that will you do everything for me and something like that. " I answered her without hiding.
I looked at mom carefully. She had beautiful and long curly hair which was Scarlet and her eyes color were crystal blue like mine. She had a perfect-shaped face that reminded me of a Certain milf character from the FGO that gave the mother's vibe. Her K-cup breasts were so big but they were incredibly shaped which were not saggy at all. Her big ass was round and soft. She had outstanding curves. In another word, she was a very beautiful woman that could only be seen in the fantasy world. Because her beauty, itself was fantasy.
" Which kind of things. " mother asked as she gently caressed my face.
" Like sex or doing the things. " I said without embarrassment.
" Good. My son is interested in sex. " My mother said with a proud tone as her eyes looked at my erected brother.
" Hoho. Did you become erect from your mother's body? Naughty kid. " My mother teased me but I would not lose.
" Yes. Because mom has a very gorgeous body and I'm really jealous of my father. " I replied her as my mother surprised by my words. She laughed elegantly.
" Mother. Will you support everything I do? " I asked her with a serious look.
" Of course, my son." My mother said.
" Even if that's evil. " I asked her as my face faced the bed not trying to face her. I mastered the art of deception but no, I was just afraid to ask.
My mother held my chin and she made me, to look at her face.
" You're my son. Of course, I will do everything for you. If you're planning to do some crime, I will be your best partner. " My mom said with a gentle smile. She caressed my face gently and her smile was brighter than the sun.
" Thank you, mom. " I replied with a few tears. Suddenly, I felt like I wanted to cry but I tried to hold back my tears. My mom kissed my forehead and she hugged me again.
" If you want something, just ask me directly. If you want noble girls or commoners, tell Mira. She will do the other jobs. Well, you can do whatever you want, everyone in this mansion. " Mother encouraged me.
" Really, everyone. " I said in an excited tone. I felt like I became younger which was technically correct.
" Of course. It looks like you have someone in your mind." Mother replied with the firm tone.
" Yeah, my sister-in-law. She looks beautiful and I want her on my bed. I can use her as a spy to check on my brother. " I said with a smile.
" Haha. " My mother surprised me again and she looked at my eyes. She tried to read my expression.
" Nice thinking my son. You change into a brilliant person. " My mother patted my head and said.
" So can I. " I asked her.
" Of course, you can. I will send that trash away from the home. You can use that time to conquer or break her. Leave your father and that trash's mother at my hands but you will need to handle your sister-in-law. If you can not do that much, the mother will disappoint at you. " My mother thought a little bit as she said. My mother held that kind of logic since I was young. I needed to show some results if I wanted something.
" Of course, mom. I will not let you down. " I replied to her.
" Good. For now, enjoy the women in this mansion. I will prepare some experience women and send them to your room. You need to taste different types of women. Well, Mira is a virgin so you can take her first time. " my mother said as she stood up.
" Mother still has jobs to do so mom will go now. " My mom kissed my forehead and she left from the room.
' Yes. ' I muttered in the mind loudly. I was worried that she might not support my action my I was wrong.
" Mira, I want to eat dinner and bring me the dinner. Also, prepare yourself tonight because I'm going to fuck you. " I said the last part with the devilish smile.
.' Gosh. I want to fuck her, now. ' I thought but I had a good amount of patients. My body was not weak even though I was in the bed for days. It must be because of the magic.
" Yes, Master. I will bring the dinner right now. " She said and she had a poker face. But her ears were a little bit red. Mira kept her emotion very well. She already knew that this day would arrive. Mira was supposed to be my maid for the lifetime and my partner when I was in need.
" Good. " I said as I lied on the bed again. Mira left from the room after that.
@LazySloth2000
dude, so much janky english... screw it, i'll do you a favor and point some out along with some biased suggestions to make things 'better'. feel free to use them.
" My son, you change. "
"My son, you've changed."
" Yeah. Mother. I have a dream about how I was useless and coward. I don't want to become like that. I want to do everything I want. "
"Yes Mother. I had a bad dream about how I was useless coward and led a miserable life. I don't want to become like that. I want to do everything I can to be fulfilled."
" What are you talking to Mira? "
"What were you talking to Mira about?"
" I am asking her that will you do everything for me and something like that. " I answered her without hiding.
"I was asking her if she will do everything I order her to do, or something like that." I answered her without hiding it.
" Which kind of things. " mother asked as she gently caressed my face.
"What kind of orders?" mother asked as she gently caressed my face.
" Like s*x or doing the things. " I said without embarrassment.
- what the f*ck is "doing the things"? does that refer to foreplay? s*x play? fetish stuff? well regardless i suppose something like this could work:
"Like s*x and other such things." I said without embarrassment.
" Good. My son is interested in sex. " My mother said with a proud tone as her eyes looked at my erected brother.
"Good, My son is interested in sex." My mother said with a proud tone as her eyes looked at my erected member.
- i suggest member or another term over brother as we're just starting to establish the setting and characters. it makes it less confusing to some people. -
" Hoho. Did you become erect from your mother's body? Naughty kid. " My mother teased me but I would not lose.
She laughs a little and says: "Hoho. Did you become erect from your own mother's body? What a naughty kid." My mother teased me but I will not show shame.
" Of course, my son." My mother said.
"Of course my son" (no comma is needed)
" Even if that's evil. " I asked her as my face faced the bed not trying to face her. I mastered the art of deception but no, I was just afraid to ask.
"Even if it's evil?" I asked her as I faced the bed, trying not to face her. I wish I could say I mastered the art of deception but no, I was just afraid to ask.
" You're my son. Of course, I will do everything for you. If you're planning to do some crime, I will be your best partner. " My mom said with a gentle smile. She caressed my face gently and her smile was brighter than the sun.
"You're my son, my pride, and the light of my life. Of course, I will do everything to help you. If you're planning to do some crime, I will always be your accomplice." My mom said with a gentle smile. She caressed my face gently and her smile was brighter than the sun.
" If you want something, just ask me directly. If you want noble girls or commoners, tell Mira. She will do the other jobs. Well, you can do whatever you want, everyone in this mansion. " Mother encouraged me.
"If ever you want for something, just ask me directly. If you want noble girls or commoners, tell Mira. She will complete any task asked of her. You may also do whatever you want to everyone in this mansion." Mother encouraged me.
" Really, everyone. " I said in an excited tone. I felt like I became younger which was technically correct.
"Really? everyone?" I said in an excited tone. I felt like I became younger which is technically correct.
" Nice thinking my son. You change into a brilliant person. " My mother patted my head and said.
"Nice thinking my son, You changed into a brilliant person." My mother said as she stroked my hair.
" Of course, you can. I will send that trash away from the home. You can use that time to conquer or break her. Leave your father and that trash's mother at my hands but you will need to handle your sister-in-law. If you can not do that much, the mother will disappoint at you. " My mother thought a little bit as she said. My mother held that kind of logic since I was young. I needed to show some results if I wanted something.
"Of course you can. I will send your unworthy brother away from the home. You can use that time to conquer or break your sister-in-law. Leave distracting your father and his whore mistress to me... but you will need to handle your sister-in-law yourself. If you can not do that much, your mother will disappointed with you." My mother thought a little bit as she explained the plan. My mother held this kind of mindset since I was young. I needed to show some results if I wanted something.
" Of course, mom. I will not let you down. " I replied to her.
"Yes mother. I will not let you down!" I replied to her.
" Good. For now, enjoy the women in this mansion. I will prepare some experience women and send them to your room. You need to taste different types of women. Well, Mira is a virgin so you can take her first time. " my mother said as she stood up.
"Good. For now enjoy the women in this mansion. I will prepare some experienced women and send them to your room. You should also taste different types of women. For your first woman, your mother suggests Mira. she is a virgin, so you can take your first times together." my mother said as she stood up.
" Mother still has jobs to do so mom will go now. " My mom kissed my forehead and she left from the room.
"Mother still has jobs to do, so I will go now." She kissed my forehead and left from the room.
' Yes. ' I muttered in the mind loudly. I was worried that she might not support my action my I was wrong.
'Yes!' I yelled in the mind loudly. I was worried that she might not support my desires. I am very pleasantly surprised.
" Mira, I want to eat dinner and bring me the dinner. Also, prepare yourself tonight because I'm going to f*ck you. " I said the last part with the devilish smile.
" Mira, I want to eat dinner and it to be brought here. Also, prepare yourself for tonight, I'm going to f*ck you." I said the last part with the devilish smile.
.' Gosh. I want to f*ck her, now. ' I thought but I had a good amount of patients. My body was not weak even though I was in the bed for days. It must be because of the magic.
'god how I want to f*ck her right now!' I thought to myself. but I choose to be patient. My body won't be an issue since it's not weak even though I was in the bed for days. I assume it must be because of the magic.
" Yes, Master. I will bring the dinner right now. "
"Yes Master. I will bring the dinner right now."
- those are the major and some minor ones i spotted. i HIGHLY suggest getting an editor and proofreader. AND use some site that helps with grammar and spelling issues.
i must say the story premise reminds me of https://www.novelupdates.com/series/the-marquis-eldest-sons-lascivious-story/
though a little different in a number of areas.
quite the shame MC here didn't reincarnate and took over the kid's body... missing out on some good childhood stuff. exploring the new world they're in. hell even minor 'lewd' stuff like breast feeding for example. but i get that most authors are too wary of being labeled as pedos. (despite no person in the story being real) thus skip straight to the teen years... *sigh*
It's nice to read an actual villain every now and then. If I could suggest something? Please use some sort of word program to help with grammar.
Interested to see how the MC evolves.
Use grammerly or other free apps to check grammer
a bit of criticism, the dialogue is a little broken, maybe you could find someone to help with the grammar and syntax, another thing is the mother thought process is not really believable, maybe make a small paragraph with the pov of the mother so that the readers can understand what she was thinking about to sound the way she does
Tava esperando um vilão trilhando seu próprio caminho mais ela está sendo ajudado pela mãe coisa que não encaixou bem sem uma visão da mãe e de como sua personalidade ficou assim.
Mais gosto muito do gênero e a história parece muito boa.
Obrigado pelo seu trabalho.
Please use grammarly, it's free and it'll make your work a lot better.
....