While collecting data on the Veil, I noticed a pattern. The Veil moves and shifts much like moisture in the air affecting the weather in the sky. Holes appeared in the Veil in places were humans were projecting their will. This was a common suspicion, however, it had never been properly tracked. This is why there were holes in places of magic.

There are places that are, thin, too. There always has been. Thin places are often found where there are few human consciousnesses, so few that the Veil cannot connect to itself. These are called Low Places. These places are empty spaces; for example, like glaciers, deserted parking lots, the sky, overgrown forests, and the ocean. Spirits naturally flock to these liminal areas where they can thrive. Low Places are naturally occurring things and they move and change. However, with the help of my assistants, I have been tracking a trend throughout the last twenty years. Low Places were beginning to creep into every place.

The holes were getting much bigger and the Veil was not repairing itself. Every place on Earth was becoming a Low Place. Just like how the atmosphere has seasons and just as the magnetosphere has phases, so does the Veil have a life cycle.

When I brought this data to my brother, Azazel, for assessment, he predictably and surreptitiously outright dismissed the information. He wouldn't hear of it. He simply reminded me that we are Devils and it was our job to disrupt the Veil to our advantage. The Veil also has cycles, he reminded me. I told him that at no point has the Veil ever been so damaged, even at its minimums. There was always an algorithm to mask information when a consciousnesses passes from one side to the other. Even when the algorithm was in its earlier incarnations and it was easier to transubstantiate from flesh to spirit and vise versa-- it was never like this. The membrane of the Veil never not existed. When I warned him of outright collapse, he scoffed and changed the subject. I knew he thought I was crazy and that he would rather not think of it.

It wasn't hard to link the collapse of the Veil with the corresponding ecological disaster on Earth. Pollution was collapsing the ecosystems of Earth, one after another. The Veil is just another victim of the compounding problem that humans were simply not aware of or choosing to ignore. It was a deeply concerning issue. Since I and my brothers are in no danger of dying, I was not afraid, but I was bothered. It was going to be somebodies responsibility to resolve sooner or later, and usually structural issues of the universe like this fell on angels to fix. Not the good angels, either-- the garbage men. The angels that worked in waste management. Why? Because eventually it would creep into my life and be my problem, too, and then there is no one else left for it to fall to. We are at the bottom.

I decided I would continue course and collecting data. Then, I would need to plan. Instead of wasting my consciousness and energy I delegated data collecting to demons. Vassago was too important a tool to waste on this, as I wanted his intelligence elsewhere. I had no one else to tell about this, either. The Lord still does not see nor hear me, and my most powerful brother who could most likely be in a position to help-- does not care or finds the tattered state of the Veil amusing and useful to his own ends.

I could perhaps flag down a mediator, like Metatron or Sandalphon, to bring it to the attention of God directly... but it seems, one would think, that the Lord already knows about it. Since it has been a traceable trend over the course of the last twenty or so years, that it likely is, in fact, by design. It was a purposeful problem the Lord set before us to solve that we are all ignoring, like the corresponding issue of the Earth's global temperatures heating.

Since I've chosen to remove myself from my brothers, I am alone in dealing with this. I see this no differently than if one were to have a body. If there was to be a complete collapse of the Veil, it, of course, would be unprecedented and cause a large amount of chaos and confusion on both sides. I cannot save anyone but myself, and even if I tried, I would be as Chicken Little and my plea falls on deaf ears.

All I can do is gather data and plan accordingly. As I did so, I kept with my small, poor family in Michigan. I could see the Veil become Swiss cheese all around them. Based on what my demons have gathered for me, the Veil around my area in Michigan is failing at a much more accelerated rate. The fresh water allows certain types of spirits to pass through more easily, but not all spirit species, so this does not entirely explain the anomalous collapse. As I continued to mull over the current disaster, I found myself absently repairing the Veil in places around my lab rats' home. I felt like I was hanging wet laundry, pulling up the tattered membranes of the Veil and literally hanging them back into place.

I knew that Azazel knew that the Veil was a big issue. Eventually, he would change his mind and take it seriously, just as he always does. Along the way, he will make it seem that it was his discovery that it was a problem and his idea to repair it-- as everything is about Azazel and appeasing his ego. It was around this time, in the year 2012, that I was given a note to locate a human called Johann Bader, who was a lost sacrifice to the fairy queen. He was lost, conveniently, around the same space and time as the area I frequent in Michigan. I immediately saw this as suspect and not coincidence.

In my spiraling crusade to locate this lost human, Bader-- (“Baiter,” another reason I saw this as a plot) I met another human. At first, I did not know what to make of her and simply used her as a matter of convenience. The holes in the Veil around her made it so it was easy for me to pass information from the spirit side to reality without interruption. I needed to use her as a conduit of magic.

I continued my quest, given to me by perhaps the Lord himself, and I located Johann Bader and returned him. Meanwhile, my lab rat, Noah, attempted to take his own life. When Noah died, we had a long conversation in the in-between.

----

“What do you want, Noah Niccolo?” Meresin asked, genuinely interested in what he had to say.

“The universe to not get destroyed, for one? But since it pretty much seems inevitable, I’m not sure.” As he paused, thunder rattled the windows like great kettle drums. “So, you’ve never been a person?”

“No, I have never been a human being,” said Meresin. “Throughout all the ages, my kind has resented the gifts and favor the Creator has bestowed upon you.”

“Like free will and stuff?” asked Noah. He was like a child.

“Yes,” I answered listlessly. “Admittedly, since we are all facing the same termination on the same level, I do not hold the same bitterness I’ve once had. Humans are facing the same extinction we are. This time, you do not have the Creator’s favor.”

“Do you want to be a person?”

“What?”

“Do you want to be a person? Like, maybe for a day? Could you find the girl in Michigan? I’m from Michigan. In fact, isn’t that how you found me? My house is near Devil’s Lake.”

“What are you suggesting, Noah?”

What he was suggesting was unprecedented. He wanted to form an alliance. This is not unusual for consciousness without the boundaries of a flesh body. Angels, demons, gods and goddesses... all these larger entities are used to sharing identities with similar personalities or consciousnesses. Singularly, we are not as powerful. Together, we are strong. Often it is tactical. Azazel himself as consumed nearly every angel of death in order to better manage the control of time. Zeus is also known to consume other similar entities. The list goes on. It has always been this way.

This is different. Human souls rarely share, and if they do, it is considered a parasite to the consciousness, an unwanted possession. The human soul always attempts to eject it, like an immune response. I remember what Noah said to me then, as he was choosing to live again.

--------

“And I don’t have to be alone, either,” Noah continued. “We can do this thing together and if it is the end of the world, and like-- the end of everything-- then you can see what it is like to be a person before we all go. And I don’t have to be by myself.”

“It would be… a great privilege.”

“It would?” the boy seemed stunned. I realized that the young man likely had trouble reading my emotions, since I didn’t bother to have a face most of the time. However, I did feel a great thankfulness I had to express.

“

Yes,” I said. “You do not realize what you are doing, allowing me this brief… freedom from this reality. To breathe surface air. Feel wind. Taste food. I will relish every moment given to me. To not have the shackles on my wrists. You would be doing me a great honor by allowing me access to flesh. I do not take this offer you are giving me lightly. And we would be able to carry out the will of the Creator. It is unselfish of you, a great kindness, Noah.”

“I think you’d be doing me a big favor, too. We can help each other. I feel like if I just had a little help getting over all the things I was dealing with… I don’t know. I just had no reason to go on. There was nothing for me, no meaning to anything. And knowing the entire world is just going to end anyway certainly doesn’t help.”

“Let us find meaning. Perhaps it was meant to be. Perhaps this is what his ultimate plan was all along.”

I couldn't stop. I possessed Noah as was his desire and it was like a narrow scope breaking free from the depth of the ocean. I got to see, hear, taste, smell, and touch. I got a brief view of the relief from Hell. I just couldn't let it be only once. I needed to have more. I needed the relief. I could see what life was like without complete pain, hunger, and sorrow.

Possession tatters the Veil. It is an exert of pure will by the spirit to make decisions for the body over the human consciousness inside. From my studies, few energies pass through without harming the Veil or being coded. One type of vibrational energy that is an exception is love. Love does not become distorted when passing through the Veil. Since Noah's energy in accepting my possessing him came from an agreement of love... it is a strange loophole we have found that does not cause negative effects on either him or the environment.

Azazel came to me shortly before 2012, concerned about the state of the Veil. He came to me as if he discovered the problem. He was hysterical, almost inconsolable. I acted as if it was my first time hearing of it. I humored him. I felt insulted. Infuriated. I kept it to myself that I, and I alone was an expert in the anatomy of the Veil. Here he was-- schooling me on the subject, like I was the student. I had reams of information, data, and observation within my knowledge. He came bearing charts and graphs, many of which were of my own research. It was I who told him of the issue.

It made him so hysterical, in fact, that he boasted about quitting Hell. It wasn't an original idea, nor even the first time he has made the same announcement. He quit. He quit, just as I was going to do, perhaps. He is a creature of drama and mercurial decisions. I did not care about his proclamations or supposed discoveries of the Veil.

Around 2012, I was put on a specific journey. It was this journey that started everything. It was what changed it all. A request came to me that I find a human that was lost in the fairy world. This human, Johann Bader, was taken by the fairies as a sacrifice. The fairy world is accessed through portals. The most stable portals are found in the dream world, and only some humans have access to them. As I adventured to find Johann, a message from the Lord came to me on a slip of paper.

It was a message sent to me only. The message was just this: “choose love.” Two words. It was printed on an inconsequential scrap of paper commonly found in fortune cookies.

I will not go on to explain how I know this was given to me-- directly and specifically, from the Lord. It was a long and exhausting adventure. All that mattered is that it was authentic. No other fallen angel, save perhaps Azazel, ever had direct contact with the Lord. Ever. This was massive news. It meant something. I was picked. I was chosen. I just did not understand for what.

And like most messages from the Lord, it is full of cryptic meaning and more powerful than it seems. It was something he wanted me to do, actively. I could feel it vibrating in the energy of the words, written in gold on the paper. However, since it was just two words without any context, I wasn't sure how exactly I was supposed to carry out this action. It was something he wanted me to do.

But how? How could I choose love when I could not feel it or experience it. I could just see it, as bright white energy, like a two way mirror. It was always a movie and I was forever the audience.

She was the perfect specimen, just what I needed. I just didn't know how perfect nor how just how much I needed her. It was at a time where I decided I wanted to quit Hell, too, just as Azazel had. I just needed to figure out how. My human lab rat was in the world of the in-between. Noah had tried to kill himself while I was on my journey to find Johann, and he was out of my sight. Keeping Noah's soul in the realms in between was likely a mistake, as Azazel began using him to track my comings and goings.

In order to finish my quest of locating Johann, I needed access to a portal to the fairy worlds. Since the Veil was in tatters, it was not an impossible task. Yet it required a human specimen who had doors that accessed the fairy worlds. I needed a specific human. I needed her.

I found her by luck, serendipity, and circumstance. Synchronicity, some would call it. Magic. It was when all the clocks struck 1:11. When I found her, I was just going to perform the magic spell required to open fairy doors. I intended to rescue Johann Douglas Bader, as I was instructed, and then return him to Earth. Nothing more nothing less. I had to perform a ritual using her dream world, as it connected clearly to the fairy realm. She was a human of Fay origin in a past life, long long ago. The imprints were still in her blood and energy. This made her a person of strong magic, as if she had a tall antenna to catch specific radio waves.

I saw her as a tool, and nothing more. The Veil around her and her home was thin.