After Loki fucked my brains out, we slid into the tub. I hadn’t noticed when Eli filled it, dumping scents into it. Of course, it was the vanilla and cinnamon I had come to adore.

My vampire’s scent.

It filled my core as I laid my back on his chest. He was behind me, kissing my nape. I sat snuggly in between his legs while he fondled my breast too. The water reached my chest, though my vampire was taller than me.

So, it was only up to my chest. I was still in a daze. And the affection didn’t stop there.

“Vivi,” Loki murmured.

His call caused me to shiver a bit before gazing at him. His lips quickly met me. It caused me to turn to him, deepening the kiss. A soft smile formed on his lips when he grabbed me by the back of my wet hair, coiling his fingers into it.

I drew away slightly, licking his lip.

Your flavor… No, everything about you.

I loved it. Eli was slithering around my legs, causing me to quiver a bit. The mark on Loki’s chest had shifted from infinity, with branches coming from it. To one of a golden blooming flower.

My mind wasn’t connecting the dots, though. Then again, perhaps I wanted this all to be a moment of bliss. Of course, those never last.

“Do you want more of me, my love?” he hummed.

Instead of answering him, I smiled, leaning into him. A soft sigh left his lips as I brushed my lips against his neck, trailing to his chest. I left a line of kiss marks on him as I went. Though, when I was on his chest, I caressed and licked until he tugged me away and into his lips.

Our tongues danced with one another until we tugged away for fresh air. Not too far, though.

“Hm… I could get addicted to this.” He chuckled, slightly out of breath.

The look in his eyes was remarkable. I wanted it to always be aimed at me. The warm water soothed every ache I had, too. His touch eased my heart. This was a wonderful dream. Though my head still ached.

Loki had healed my superficial injuries. Internal ones he was more careful with, though. Especially if they had to do with the brain. Any little thing could go wrong. So as long as my life wasn’t in danger, he wouldn’t mess with those.

Pain in a dream… is that possible? Fuck it. Don’t think and let it happen. Enjoy this moment, Vivian. Because… this will never happen in reality.

“Shut it,” I mumbled, going to kiss him.

The only reason I stopped was when he gazed down, noticing something on my chest. Another soft smile rose on his lips.   

“Hey, you have an adorable flower on your left breast. Was that there before?” Loki panted, leaning over before licking the spot he talked about.

He was right. There was a golden blossomed flower on my left breast. His affection caused me to shiver. Leaving a kiss mark on it, he drew away to admire it.

“Adorable,” he chuckled, gazing back at my face.

His fingertips traced down my back.

“Hm… you have one too.” I hummed, touching where I had marked too.

He had been so into it that he didn’t notice it. Even when I left so many bruises on his left pec. Though none of them changed the gold of the flower. Our trance was ending. He glanced down, noting it too.

He went to touch it, only to look extremely confused by it.

“Wait, isn’t that where I had the mark linking us?” Loki asked, grabbing onto my hand.

His bewilderment caused me to come back to reality. It was the snap I needed. After all, why would an illusion question something to me? Though, when I tugged away, I ended up noticing the biggest problem I encountered to date.

My eyes twitched.

Eli… is…

“Why is he… not black?!?” I questioned, standing up.

The snake tilted his head blissfully unaware too. Well, until I pointed it out. Then he gazed at his body. Shock washed over his expressionless face. I could see it in those new orbs of his. They were open wider than ever before.

“What!?” he yelped, stunned by the change.

It almost felt like the scenery was spinning. Unable to handle it anymore. I hopped out of the tub and grabbed a towel before running outside to the room. Never knew I needed a breath of fresh air so desperately before.

“Vivian!” Loki called out to me.

I ignored him, placing on a pajama I had on the bed for when I came back from the ball. At the moment, I couldn’t care less fully to dry myself. My head was spinning. The moment Eli came out of the bathroom with Loki, I felt a rush of anxiety.

He had the usual black sweat pants on. Though his chest was on full display. The flower was on my face. The heat of the shower hadn’t made me hallucinate it. The most pressing issue, though, was the white snake with a golden belly.

By the god, your wings also have tints of gold too?!

Everything was swirling out of my control. I never meant for any of this to happen.

“No… No! This can’t be happening!” I mumbled, trying to keep the panic in check.

But that was a useless maneuver. I was on the brink of hyperventilating. Not only had I professed my love for him, but something had happened to our bond. And that was something I couldn’t fix.

No matter how hard I tried, we would always be connected now. Even after death. This all happened because I allowed the flow of things to affect me. No, it had been my denial. After all, who would’ve ever said they loved me.

At least so vocally. He knew we could never be together.

So, why did you word it out? Is it to confuse me? To make me feel dumb. No…

“Oi…” Loki tried to reach out to me.

I took a step back, causing him to withdraw his attempt. He appeared concerned about me. Perhaps the lack of sleep was getting to me. I mean, I had slept less than usual. And the headache from the blow to the head remained.

I was a mess, but it wasn’t because of that. My energy was slowly draining.

For how much longer will I be able to fight this? Is there any way out? No… there isn’t. The bond of the divines is too powerful to undo.

“This wasn’t a dream?” I questioned, hoping it was.

He wouldn’t let me believe this was a delusion, though. In response to my question, he shook his head slightly.

“Of course not. What’s wrong? I mean…” Loki gazed at Eli, but quickly returned his sight to me.

“I’m sure it’ll be alright, Vivi. So, don’t panic.” He assured me.

That was the last thing I needed. Reassurance would lead to nothing. There was no denying I had polluted his soul with mine. He didn’t know the danger he was in. Yet there he was, trying to quell my worries.

“You don’t understand!” I yelled, turning away from him.

I didn’t appreciate his cuddling. Especially on how dire everything was becoming.

“What?” he mumbled.

I grabbed onto my arms in an attempt to self-soothe. He was going to die. If it wasn’t by Alistair, then it would be by… the god from my dreams. Back when I lost control when I killed Jin, I screamed a name.

Yama…

He was also the one who mentioned my memory connected to Elias.

“I… We’re…” my voice trembled.

Eli floated in front of me as I shook my head. Their death was…

“Eli is…” I felt the tears sting my eyes.

This was the worst. I had stolen their ability to live a normal life after I was gone.

If the living gods ever found me, I…

This recent change had made Loki the prime target to get to me. They would torture him to hurt me. And then, when they could do nothing else to him, they would kill him. My entire body was trembling at that thought.

The dream where that god took his heart was vivid in my mind.

“Vivi?” my vampire called to me.

To him, it felt like I was about to go miles away from him. And that was the truth. The moment he touched me; I turned all my emotions onto him. After all, he was the biggest one at fault. Him with his desire to save me.

I needed nothing from him. Just for him to stay alive.

“We’re so fucked!” I snapped.

Loki grabbed onto both my shoulders.

“Oi, calm down.” He sighed.

But there was no stopping me. I was a loose cannon. Especially how he had died in my dream. It drowned everything else. I wanted him to have a normal mortal life. It would’ve been better if I never loved him in the first place!

But now, I couldn’t take it back. It was a mistake to let him in. Yet how could I have stopped it? He was my link, and I had to get close to protect him. However, I never meant it to be this close. All because I jumped to save him.

Nothing was going right.

“Calm down?! I can’t do that! Do you even know what we did?! I bonded us for eternity! Nothing can break this bond! Not even if you come to hate me!” I shouted, feeling the anxiety.

Everything was going wrong. The damn flower was staring right at me, too. And I couldn’t handle this. I wanted him to be free, and now with the appearance of the Amor Aeternum flower. It was over.

This was a bond that only happened in divines, and it was indestructible. Not even Fenrir and Valdios had it in their previous life. After all, they forbid these bonds in the divine world. One only made by Aster herself.

And I, a fool, made it happen. This meant I had some of her power within me as well. My divine power was constantly evolving. Back when I was a book, all I did was predict the future. But now I was doing much more than that.

This was expected, though. After all, children usually inherited the power of their parents. And now because of that fact. Elias… for a fling was stuck to me. He didn’t even know anything about our past.

If he knew… This little piece of heaven would become a living nightmare for him. I ruined the start of a new life for him. My heart was breaking in ways I thought it would never. Especially after the moment of passion we had.

My mind was slurring things together.

“That means… you’ll never…” I trailed off, feeling hollow inside.

Even though I knew little about the Amor Aeternum flower, I knew he would never be free of me. I also knew it was an indestructible bond.

“Vivian…” Loki called out to me again.

Those eyes that were so full of love would soon be filled with hate. I never wanted this to happen. But if he was stuck to me for eternity. The truth had to come out. Everything… And I wasn’t ready for it.

Yet it had to happen. But if that happened…

He’ll hate me! I can’t… have him call me a monster, too. Not after…

Everything that had happened in the bathroom.

“No…” I pulled away from him.

My heart was shattering. This had to end. It had to be a nightmare. There was no way this was going to be his reality. Ours…

“This wasn’t supposed to happen! You and I can never be!” I snapped.

In my hurry, I had forgotten the brooch in the bathroom. It was still on the bloody rags. So, nothing was stopping my powers from responding to my emotions. The moment my body gave off a white hue, Loki clasped onto my cheeks.

He had used his vampire speed to close the small gap between us. His eyes were glowing brightly, too.

“Vivian, calm down.” He huffed firmly holding me in place.

A second later, I felt all my nerves quell. We were both unaware, but Loki was awaking to his inert powers. It felt like a wave of calm rushing through me. The bond was doing more than linking us for eternity.

Though he didn’t realize what he did.

“But the bond… it shifted,” I mumbled.

Loki pressed his forehead against mine.

“So, what’s bad about that?” he huffed, not understanding where the dilemma was.

He was such a fool. Yet while he had me in his hands, I couldn’t get riled up.

“So, when I leave…” I trailed off, biting my lip.

I forced myself to gaze at him, though. He deserved the truth. And I would give it to him. I should’ve never hidden it in the first place. Perhaps if he knew, this would’ve never occurred.

“Hm?” Loki hummed, not liking where I was going with this.

After all, leaving me was never in his plans.

“You won’t be able to love anyone else,” I mumbled; voice still shaky.

If his hands weren’t on me, I probably would’ve been freaking out again. That was when I realize how eerily calm I was.

Elias… the god of emotions… is really in you.

“I don’t want to love anyone else,” Loki assured me, going to kiss me.

I yanked away from his touch fully. The instant I was away from him. I felt all the emotions he had quelled. Something wasn’t right.

I… I’m…

No, Loki was controlling my emotions, without realizing it. The bond was awaking, a part of him that was dormant.

“You don’t know me to say that!” I snapped again, turning away from him, escaping into his side of the room

I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t. Sadly, I didn’t have any underwear under my PJs. Even if I ran, there was no place he wouldn’t find me. It wasn’t like I could outpace him in the first place. And without my magic, I was a normal mortal girl at most.

After the events, there was no way I could use any more of it.

“Vivian, I know enough.” Loki sighed.

It caused me to turn to him. He appeared hurt by everything I was saying.

I… Fool!

“What? You know nothing about me.” I mumbled, shaking my head.

He was a stupid vampire. One that was intent on loving me, no matter what. It didn’t matter how many walls I placed between us. He would always crush them.

“You’re a strong-willed woman. One that swept me off my feet from the moment I met her.” Loki simpered, cheeks rosy pink.

Before I could argue, Eli stopped me by floating next to me. His tail pressed against my lips, successfully silencing me.

“One that protects and adores us. And the only one who sees us for who we are.” He chuckled, pushing me onto the bed.

I hadn’t noticed how it was behind me. The next moment, Loki was on me, straddling me. His speed was unfair. But that was nothing new.

“One that has scars I’ll probably never get to see. But I’m going to heal them all. I promise.” He simpered, going to kiss me.

Before he could, though, I spoke.

“You don’t know all I’ve done.” I started feeling stings in my chest.

Everything was going to end if he knew. There was no way he would love me after knowing. No one could. After all, I was a being full of discord. One incapable of order. My divine father’s side was the one who shone in me the most.

“Then tell me. Let me shoulder all your burdens with you. Don’t let them crush you!” he declared, gazing at me.

His arms had me caged under him. I shook my head slightly. Even though I wanted to escape, I was trapped under him. There were no moves left to me. He…

“Will you let me save you, even if you hate me?” I asked, feeling like there was a boulder on my chest.

It hurt to word those thoughts. In response to my question, he frowned, not liking it.

“I love you, Vivian. I’ll never hate you.” He professed without a care in the world.

It was over. I no longer could let him say that to me, without knowing who I was. A monster and a murderer.

“But I’m the reason your family’s fractured.” I pointed out.

He shook his head.

“You aren’t the reason. That lies with Edna.” He countered.

Sadly, he knew nothing.

“That isn’t true,” I mumbled.

My tongue felt heavy. The world felt like it was going to end.

Is this what it means to lose the bond? Is that why I feel like this… Or is it because I know how much I love him.

It didn’t matter. It was better now than later. Fear, though, took hold of me as I kissed him. In response, he opened his mouth to let me in. My tongue explored his cavity until it met with his soft member.

For a little while, we played with one another. Though when he drew away, I yanked him into another one. One last moment, I was desperately clinging to. I was afraid I couldn’t feel another when he ended this one.

And it wasn’t like I knew if Thea wouldn’t tell her mother or anyone else. At any moment, this could end. I had to be grateful that I even had one more second with him.

I might as well make him hate me. So that way, he can ‘love’ someone better than me.

Even though that was impossible. Love and hate were the same. Just different. An easy line to cross.

Ah… but I don’t want him to hate me. I want to kiss him like this all the time. But… that’s the wish a normal girl can do. This isn’t meant for someone like me. Full of death and despair. Nothing good awaits him if he stays with me.

This time, we both retreated for air.

The end.

After this, I wouldn’t feel his lips on me again. Well, it didn’t matter as long as I could save him. If his heart was beating strong by the end, I didn’t care if he hated me.

“I was the one who told her I wanted a body. And for me to have one, required sacrifice beyond belief. Loki, I’m the daughter of the two most powerful beings known to exist. I don’t even know if I seeded that into her. Yet I knew what it would cost, even though I denied it.” I confessed, gazing away from him.

There was no way I didn’t know that my wish caused pain for everyone. Yet I selfishly wanted it to come true. I wanted to feel and love like everyone else. A foolish thing, since it destroyed everything I cared about.

Edna was gone because of my wish. Although I didn’t remember her, I knew I loved her from the memory I had. Those emotions were powerful, yet not the same as I felt for Loki. No, his hold on me was stronger.

“You were a book with a soul. I can’t blame you for wanting to speak. To be loved.” Loki countered, hovering over my ear.

He didn’t get it at all. Of course, he didn’t. My words weren’t enough to explain everything I wanted. My memories were too fractured too. If he knew everything… maybe then…

“I can’t be loved! And I don’t deserve it! Don’t you see I’m a monster?! An abomination that should’ve never existed! My parents didn’t even give me a body! I was never supposed to love or care!” I huffed, trying to push him away.

It was like moving a wall, though. There was no way I was going to accomplish that.

“I love you.” He murmured in my ear.

His words triggered me to gaze at him. His expression was one of affection. Tears stung my eyes as I snapped.

“But you can’t love me! I got you killed once already!” I yelled, trying to shove him off.

Nothing worked. I pressed my hands against his chest in my attempt to run.

“What?!” Loki questioned, unable to understand me anymore.

He gazed at me, utterly perplexed. I had to be more detailed. My voice was shaky, though. The fear of him hating me was showing.

“Ah… I… had a memory resurface. One of a god. And I think that was you, in another life.” I began.

He shook his head, slightly sitting up. He still straddled me, though. I wasn’t going anywhere at this rate.

“Vivi… If that were the case, I don’t care.” My vampire sighed.

To him, this was trivial. Whoever he was in his previous life didn’t matter to him. But that would not change what happened. That I would be his end. And this time, I couldn’t handle it.

“You say that because you can’t remember! I killed you and your sister, damn it! It’ll happen again if this keeps up!” I snapped.

His eyes widened as I gazed away. Something already destined him to die. I didn’t want to cause his death. Yet it seemed linking him to me wouldn’t save him from that fate.

“I think she’s the same god that is connected to Oswald. But unlike them, something entwined your souls together. Eli… isn’t just a part of you. He is you!” I ranted, feeling nervous.

It hurt. I was too scared. This was the first time I ever felt this way. And all because of him. A pathetic goddess, I turned out to be. I didn’t stop there though.

“Because of what happened. This stupid shift in the bond. Because of this, you’re connected to me for eternity. It won’t matter if you find someone else to love! That won’t change!” I added, refusing to see his expression.

Eli was on the bed, too. He gazed at me from the pillows with those new orbs of his. Thankfully, his expression was hard to read. Being a snake helped him keep a neutral expression.

“I don’t want to love anyone else! I just want you.” Loki declared, coming back down on me.

Again, I was caged under him. The warmth of his lips still radiated from mine. I wanted more, but that wouldn’t happen.

“No! I killed you once. I can’t let that happen again!” I protested, turning my body towards the side.

It was to fight the urge of wanting to be with him. It hurt to hold back. Even when I was being mean, I never stopped myself when I wanted to kiss him. He was my everything. But I could never be his.

No… I have to be his enemy. But… with this flower. I…

“You say that, but I doubt it’s what you make it sound to be. You were a book. Someone who couldn’t do anything if not told!” he argued.

Eli came closer as I turned to face my vampire. Nothing I said was being taken seriously. In his eyes, I somehow was innocent in all of this.

A fool.

I wasn’t innocent. He saw me kill. And that should’ve taught him who I was. Yet in his eyes, I was nothing bad. Something I would have to fix.

“Are you stupid?! I still caused your death! If not, Elias wouldn’t have been in the soul cairn!” I pointed out.

However, the instant my beloved heard his past name, a hue came from his eyes. The next moment, he fell next to me, grabbing onto his head. Instinctively, I sat up. I was free to run away yet all that filled my mind was…

Did I hurt him?!

“Loki!” I called out, worried.

My voice was trembling, though I hesitated to reach for him. His eyes were still glowing even under his palms. Soft groans left his lips, too.

Did I cause something within him?

Eli appeared frozen where he was, too. His eyes were also radiating a bluish color. It was slowly turning into a golden color though.

“That’s right, we’re Elias.” The snake muttered under his breath.

His words cause shivers to run down my spine. I jerked away from Loki, who winced in pain, and away from the bed. Even though I didn’t know what was going through his mind. I couldn’t help but back away.

Well, until I hit the door behind me. There was no way I could run out of here and be safe. Yet I had never been so afraid until this moment. Not even when Jin kidnapped me did I feel this way. Not when those shadow beasts were after me, either.

The fear of the impending rejection was driving me. And I could barely handle it. From what Eli had said, it seemed like they were remembering their old life. Well, parts of it. The worst thought came into my mind, too.

If he remembers the incantation, will he use it? Will I have the will in me to kill him? Ah… I can’t kill him. He’s my link. But most importantly, he’s my love.

I couldn’t end him, but not because it would’ve killed me, too. No, but because he was my heart. It wasn’t long before Loki groaned, shaking his head slightly. Slowly, he rose from where he was laying.

It felt like my heart stopped.

Surely, he hates me.

I ruined his life in so many ways. Encountering me was the end of his life in his past. And once again, that was what I would be. Though this time, he was bound to me. Even so, words escaped me.

My whole being feared his rejection. If he was Elias… Then surely I was trapped. And there was no escape for me anymore.

“Please… don’t hate me. I…” I mumbled, clasping onto my chest.

The dread that rushed within me made me refuse to look at him. Though, tears were betraying me.

Why can I never control them against him?

Back when he saved me from Jin, they also escaped me. But that was because I felt relief to be in his arms. The other time was from frustration. And this time fear. Every powerful emotion had always been because of him.

He was my weakness.

“Oh, Vivian.” Loki sighed, noticing me cowering by the door.

I didn’t have it in me to run away. In a blink of an eye, he was in front of me as his arms caged me to the door. His sudden approach confused me. After all, wouldn’t it be better if he kept his distance from me?

“If you remember…” I began but never finished.

No, his lips met with mine as his hands cupped my cheeks. I grabbed onto his arms, unable to stop myself from kissing him back. If this was a trap, I would go into it willingly. But before I could get too into it, he drew away.

“I’ll never hate you. I love you.” He simpered, brushing my cheeks with his thumbs.

He never liked tears on my face. This couldn’t be real, though. After all, everyone who knew me hated me. I was always blamed for everything.

“Lier,” I growled, not believing him.

It appeared there was still some spice left in me. Another sigh left his lips as Eli coiled around my legs, causing me to fall on him. I hadn’t noticed him. Again, the slippery snake was my chair, spreading my legs apart for Loki, who got in between them.

“Fine… It seems you only respond when I make love to you.” My prince grabbed onto my hips.

Eli helped him off his sweats. And like me, he had no underwear under it, too. Unable to help it, I gaze down towards his heat. Surprisingly, it was up. My reaction caused him to chuckle.

“Want to touch it? Your hands are free.” Loki licked his lips teasingly.

I felt my eyes twitch. He was playing with me.        

“You’re crazy. There is no way you want to do this to me. I’m monstrous. You know that! You saw me kill!” I pointed out.

He shook his head, slowly pressing himself against my entrance. Everything he had unloaded into me still dripped out, making it easy for him.

“You know nothing, my love. But don’t worry. I’ll heal your heart. Something I failed to do when…” Loki trailed off, slipping his tip into me.

A mewl left my lips when he pushed the rest of his length into me. A soft sigh left his lips, too. My legs were jittery. Something Eli remedied by tightening his grip on them.

“Are you sore? Does it hurt?” my vampire asked, slightly worried about me.

Though he enjoyed my expression. I shook my head, only feeling the heat his touch was giving me. The only time I felt pain when he made love to me was the first penetration he did to me. The rest were slight discomforts that soon were filled with pleasure.

This time, however, my heart was the one hurting. It ached with every moment. I couldn’t understand him.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked.

Instead of an answer, his lips met me, stealing mine. His grip on my hips tightened, using them to shove himself all the way into me. Although, I didn’t know why. He still wanted to be with me.

Pulling away from my lips, he sighed, gazing towards the curtains. We had probably pulled another all-nighter. Yet the stress and anxiety were the ones keeping me up. My head slightly throbbed more thanks to the crying.

“I love you. Nothing will change that, Vivian.” He assured me, gazing back at me.

In his eyes, there was no deceit. Although he filled me to the brim, he wasn’t moving. No, he was allowing me to feel his length in me. His desire for me.

“But I…” I mumbled, gazing down to where we were connected.

A soft chuckle came from my prince’s lips when I did that. It was surreal.

Does Elias want to do this with me, too? No… this has to be a trap.

“You like what you see?” Loki teased, trying to get a reaction out of me.

But I was too tired to keep fighting. My heart was giving in to him. If this kept on, he surely would break it. Yet I nodded my head as he released my hips and cupped my cheeks. His were bright pink.

Mine were too.

“Oh, you’re being so honest. That isn’t like you, my love.” He chuckled, feeling flustered.

A second later, he leaned to kiss me. Again, filling myself in utter bliss. Eli’s grip on my legs tightened a bit as his head rested on my shoulder. These two were out of my understanding. Yet again they were one and the same.

Within the kiss, Loki thrust once. The sudden movement caused me to tug away and grab onto his arms. He was being gentle again. Knowing Eli had me tightly, he licked his fingers before using them to rub my bell.

It caused me to whine, gripping tighter on his arms. All of this was surreal. Yet this was no dream. However, this didn’t stop my worries. Even as he sent pleasure throughout my body, my heart ached.

His words, even though sincere, were failing to reach my heart fully. No, it scared me to accept it. Because if I did, and it ended with him hating me, then I would be destroyed. Much like the god who lost his mortal love.

However, the love between divines could be much worse. Especially if it went sour. I couldn’t recall the names of the gods involved, but they ended up being destroyed by Orenz. That was when Aster stopped doing the eternal binding, too.

Or so I was told. My father didn’t know the full story either, sadly. And Edna never told him in detail, either. No, that was something she took to her grave. However, the Amor Aeternum was something divines tried to avoid.

A soft moan left Loki’s lips as his thrust kept up his rhythm. Just like when we had bonded, it was so gentle. So much that I pressed my forehead against his chest. My PJs were being held up by Eli.

So, it allowed me to have a view of Loki’s movements. And when he pulled his hand away from my vulva, it gave me a full view of him making love to me. That would be an image burned into my mind.

One that would comfort me.

“You’re so tight, Vivi. Look at me, make love to you more.” He panted, picking up his pace a bit.

The tone of his voice caused me to gaze up at his face. His expression was one full of affection. I couldn’t let it beat me. This could all have been a trap. And if it wasn’t, then I would test it. Though my strength to fight was draining.

Using all my body weight, I pushed myself on him. In response, he clasped my bum as I no longer was using Eli to sit on. Though the snake was quick to support Loki’s stance, so we would not tumble onto the floor.

I guess a certain vampire was feeling the jelly legs, too.

“Hey, that’s dangerous,” Loki complained, holding me tightly.

I couldn’t help but cackle a bit. For my love, I would fight, even if it meant the end of everything. There was no stopping me anymore.

“Not as hazardous as fucking the being that destroyed your life more than once.” I coiled my hands in his hair, pulling on it.

He winced in discomfort, though if he wanted it gone. All he needed to do was use his force.

“Vivian.” He called out.

I shook my head.

“No more. Stop, trying to distract me. If you remember… Why are you doing this? Why aren’t you binding me to you?!” I huffed.

Though we were still deeply connected.

“Look, I can’t remember all of it. Bits and pieces at most… And some make little sense to me.” He started.

It caused me to scowl at him. A second later, I was on the bed with him on top of me. His speed was unfair. Caging me under him, I griped into his hair as he thrust into me again. Eli was gone from my view.

Is this it?

“Am I a delicate piece of meat for you?” I huffed, trying to keep my voice.

In response, he bit his bottom lip and gazed up. Eli was there, who took the opportunity to coil around my arms, though he didn’t yank them off Loki’s hair.

“You’re more than that.” My vampire breathed, not stopping his movements.

Eli passed through his hands before snuggling on my cheek.

“Lier… You’re a…” I couldn’t finish, though.

No, his lips crashed with mine again. The sudden kiss caused my grip on his hair to loosen. The next moment, they were on the bed, intertwined with Loki’s hands. Eli had coiled around all my limbs.

Though he kept my legs where they were, allowing his other half to move more freely. Before I knew it, bliss filled my body. A second later, Loki was released within me too. Though that didn’t stop his thrust into me.

Taking the moment, my body was convulsing under him. He pulled away from my lips.

“Vivi, I only remember a few bits. Like when I found you in a chamber. I picked you up, thinking you were a powerful book. A tool that was being used by this ass of a god, whose name I can’t remember well.” Loki panted.

His movements continued as I road my high with them. He wouldn’t separate from me either. Although my PJs separated our chest, I could feel his hot skin rubbing against the cloth.

“Yet, when I touched you. I felt the utter solitude you were in. Even though, I knew I should’ve left right away. I felt like I wanted to quell it. And then I heard your voice. The connection I felt with you was out of this world.” He simpered, leaning into my cheek, pushing himself into me.

A mewl left me. I wanted to wrap my legs around his hips but couldn’t. For a moment, he brushed his lips against my skin.

“Loki, don’t say things you don’t mean. Please…” I begged him to not break me.

In response, he sighed, licking my cheek. All this time, he hadn’t bitten me either. He was being so very gentle with me.

“I mean every word I’m saying. I remember the moments before my premature death. And something about you told me I had to take you away from there. But my power wasn’t enough. All I could do was hold you tight against my chest as they beat me senseless.” Loki sighed, enjoying the feeling of being deep within me.

No, he loved the fact I was connected to him forever.

“In our previous life, we used to be the god of emotions. It should’ve been an easy fight for us. Yet I feared if I did something, he would notice you weren’t just a book. So, I gave in, knowing my power was useless against him too.” Eli added.

By him… Did you mean Yama?

“He wouldn’t have allowed me to walk out of there with you. And I couldn’t let him know you were alive in there. Our predicament would’ve been worse off.” He simpered, lightly kissing my lips.

“But I…” I gazed away, trying to escape from what was happening.

To accept this. It was to accept he could save me. Something I wasn’t willing to do. After all, they had always blamed me for everything. The death of the living gods was my fault. And Rem blamed me for everything else that happened in this world.

Surely, he would too. But…

Can I believe you?

A nasty thought plagued my mind.

Surely… Elias must’ve had love before me. Surely, I was a book. He had to have someone else to love.

The living gods were known for being flirtatious with their kin. Well, some were always devoted to one another, too. Much like Fenrir and Valdios.

No… He’s mine. I want him to be mine even if he has someone else.

Surely, if he ever left me. I would end like…

“Everything else is fuzzy, but I’m sure the one who ripped my heart out was a tall man. Not a tiny book.” My prince sighed, allowing himself to fall next to me.

The suddenness of him pulling out of me caused me to shiver. Though he held one of my hands in his.

“But I know I love you, Vivian. I don’t mind being bound to you for an eternity. Actually, I welcome it.” He simpered, pulling his pants up a bit.

Again, my heart was melting.

Why are you so determined to kill me inside? Why not leave me alone? I won’t be able to live without you in my life.

I hated this dependence I was developing. But at the same time, I couldn’t stop it. And if he was so set on staying, then…

“I had a nightmare where you’ll die again. If you’re with me… I can’t.” I began closing my eyes.

That dream was present in my mind.

“Hm… is that why you fuck me silly sometimes?” Loki smirked, taking everything light-heartedly.

Instinctively, I slapped him on his chest with my free hand.

“I’m serious, you stupid vampire! I don’t know if that was a vision! Or if it was just me.” I tried to hold back the tears that wanted to roll out.

Before I knew it, I was in his arms.

“Then tell me. What scares you the most from the living gods?” Loki asked, holding me tightly.

I felt so safe in his arms. They were the world for me.

“An incantation that binds me to their will. You don’t remember it?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“I can’t remember much else. Maybe a rowdy girl that would annoy me. But you told me that was my sister. I can’t recall her face though.” He shrugged.

Is there really no one else in his life?

I mean, he appeared young in my memory. Though gods didn’t age. Not until they could pick how they desired to look.

“Nothing else?” I mumbled.

The tone of my voice caused him to chuckle. It always seemed like he knew what I was feeling.

“Ah… I see.” He smirked, pulling me onto him.

Before I knew it, I was straddling him. His hand caressed my cheek. His expression was one of bliss, too.

“Nothing, you’re my first love ever. And I’m yours, right?” he smirked.

It caused me to huff at him as I clasped on onto his hand. My actions and words never mixed well.

“A high goddess like myself would never…” I trailed off, resting against his hand.

“Hm… Okay. I like you this way too.” He chuckled, rolling his eyes.

Holding onto my hips, he sat up, kissing my lips in one swift movement.

Is any of this real? It can’t be, right?

Instinctively, I responded to him by sticking my tongue in his mouth. He playfully allowed me to explore his mouth. Well, for this he caressed my breast. When he drew away from me, he rested his head against my bosom.

My breathing was unease, though he was enjoying the sound of my erratic heart.

“That incantation, though. If it’s anything like the curse, there has to be a way to break it. To free you from their command.” He mumbled, bringing me back to chaos.

He knew nothing about it yet wanted to understand it. I could give him that much, at least.

“It’s nothing like that curse. And I don’t think I can fight it. I was a tool made to serve others! If anyone… even a mortal uses that chant on me, I’ll be nothing but a tool again.” I gazed away, shivering at the thought.

If that were to happen, it would be worse than when I was a book. Back when I was an object, my powers were limited. But now they were expanding. I could even do the Amor Aeternum bond.

Everything was a mess, and I was the major cause. In response, Loki cupped my cheeks. He appeared unimpressed by my assessment.

“We can find a way to break it.” He assured me, kissing me lightly.

The affection was so prevalent. Though, this time, I drew away. He had to know.

“You don’t understand. There isn’t a way. It’s merged with my soul. Even in rebirth, I’m bound to it. Edna informed my mortal father. So, my only choice is to avoid them. The living gods…” I trailed off, not wanting to withdraw away from his warmth.

His touch was comforting to me. And even more when it radiated out of my core. Like now, it even dripped onto his belly. Not that he minded. No, he knew it was his and mine.

“Vivi, we’ll figure this out.” My prince announced more firmly.

It almost felt like it could be true. But this wasn’t for me. I would only cause him misery in the end.

“No, what needs to happen. Is that after I change your fate, I’ll be gone. And you’ll live a normal mortal life.” I yanked away from him.

He quickly stopped me by grabbing onto my arm as I stood up.

“You can’t expect me to say yes to that.” He argued, feeling hurt.

I couldn’t gaze at him directly.

“This is how it has to be. I never intended to stay with you in the end!” I declared, body trembling.

He yanked me fully to him. I had never felt him use force against me. Well, until this point. Before I knew it, I was in his arms again. This time, I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Vivi… If you ever leave me. I won’t stop looking for you.” He sighed, holding me close to him.

It almost felt like I was something precious. But I wouldn’t let him win. Not if it meant he would live a normal life.

“Better miserable than dead!” I snapped.

He held me tighter. All I could do was grasp onto his arms that held me tenderly.

“Oh, sweets. You’ll take my heart with you. It’ll be the same as killing me!” he declared.

In an instant, he captured me. That was something I would never allow. I slowly turned to him to see a pained expression on his face.

“You’re being unfair,” I mumbled, gazing at him full of hope.

If his words were true then, perhaps he would come with me. But would he betray his family for me? The people who raised and loved him. Even if he remembered his old life, it wouldn’t replace the one he was on.

Much like my nightmares, were just dreams. A warning of a history I had to avoid. I could never ask that of him.

“Oh… am I?” he huffed, kissing my neck.

My expression caused him relief. After all, there was no doubt about what I felt for him. Even if I said it otherwise.

“Yes, you are.” I pouted in defeat.

There was no winning this. He was set on me, ruining his life. In response, he chuckled, burying his face in my neck. He made no sense to me, yet I couldn’t help but feel relief.

“I don’t care.” He sighed; grateful we spoke about what needed to be said.

Though he didn’t know in detail. But he would soon enough.

“Of course, you don’t. Fine, that’ll be for another day.” I rolled my eyes, admitting defeat.

Perhaps it was the fact I had no energy left in me. The next moment, I felt myself fall onto the bed with Loki. He had me in his lap as he kissed my neck.

“Hm… is it?” he mumbled.

The affection caused me to turn to him as his hand caressed my chest.

“Yes… There’s a more pressing matter.” I sighed, frowning.

I pointed toward the white snake next to us.

“What are we going to do about Eli? He’s a fucking white snake now.” I huffed, exposing the biggest threat.

For a moment, Loki gazed at his other half.

“Uh…” he seemed to be at a loss for words, though.

It triggered me to sit on the bed.

“Don’t, uh, me! When Rem sees him, surely she’ll figure it out!” I grumbled, annoyed.

Although all of this was my fault. I wanted to pull my hair out of my skull. Well, if it wasn’t because of the headache I had, I probably would’ve tried.

“Forget it. Come sleep with me. We’ll watch a movie or something.” Loki urged me, patting the bed.

It was tempting if I didn’t feel like the world could end at any moment. Perhaps if I were a mutt or a cat. Should I have been offended by his gesture?

“No! You’re trying to calm me with those new powers you’re getting!” I huffed, not wanting him to do that again.

I was hoping to see a surprised expression, but instead, all I saw was a sly smile.

“Hah, is that what I have been doing?” he chuckled.

He was fully aware the bond was changing into something in him. My eyes twitched upon realizing he wasn’t as innocent as I thought.

“You knew?!” I yelped, turning fully to face him.

He grabbed onto my hips again, pulling me close to him. It appeared we were both insatiable. Not that I minded. Though those deep blue eyes of his captivated me. The purple ring on them seemed more defined.

“I told you I remember bits and pieces. I can’t control it completely, yet. But I used it earlier without knowing. I felt your anger drain.” He chuckled, enjoying my annoyance.

“Don’t use it on me again!” I growled.

“I didn’t even know I used it until after.” He smiled.

But before I could say anything, he cackled again.

“Somehow I always knew how people felt, but I thought it was intuition. It was why you were so interesting at first.” He pressed his hand on my cheeks.

The instant I felt this calming aura. No wonder he always knew what I needed. All those times when I fucked him while I was terrified. He let me because he felt what I did. What an incredible cheat he was.

And even now, he could quell me in such a way. I didn’t pull away from him this time, though.

“What do you mean?” I mumbled, leaning into his touch.

This was something I didn’t mind at all.

“You’re the first girl to not fawn over me as I walked by. Though, now you do.” He teased, pulling away from my cheek.

In an instant, my emotions took a turn as he smirked. I pounced on him, pushing his arms onto the bed, growling at him. This vampire was always so full of himself. It was frustrating for me. Though there was no wonder why he was like this.

After all, he knew everything.

“I don’t! In fact, I don’t even like you!” I huffed, holding him down.

An obvious lie, yet he let me do as I pleased.

“You’re so dishonest. Not that I mind it. And so, you know, you’re the only one I want drooling over me.” He assured, causing me to pout.

There was no taking him off this horse. Not after I told him how I felt earlier. Though I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, placing them on the white snake next to us.

“Arg… Eli… can I dye your scales?? Or something…” I trailed off, not knowing how to fix this.

The snake tilted his head as I scowled at him.

“But my eyes, you can’t dye them too.” He noted.

I huffed, reaching for him. In an instant he came to me, shrinking in size. It was like he was a plushie in my arms.

“I can certainly try. You’re immortal while in this plane after all.” I smirked.

Even though that was what came out of my mouth, I would do nothing to hurt him. I hugged the snake as Loki playfully caressed my thighs.

“Hey, do you think Oz’s link changed too?” my vampire asked, unaware of the reaction I would have.

Of course, I hadn’t thought of my other link. No, it was already enough with the issue that stared at me.

“I hope not! The last thing I need is a white Zephier too!” I threw Eli to the side of the bed.

It almost sent me into a panic as I realized my brooch was still missing.

“Where’s my brooch?!?” I soon followed with.

However, the moment I gazed at Loki, he appeared unimpressed. In his hand was my brooch that Eli had gone to get earlier. He placed it on my PJs, gazing at me.

“Are you done, love?” he asked.

I felt a rush of anger when he asked that. Like any of this was easy.

How can you be this calm?!

Everything could fall apart. If Rem found out, I would… Yet in his eyes, we could work on anything together.

“No, Loki, I’m not!! I can’t use my magic! Not only that, but I linked you in the worst way to me!” I became erratic again.

In response, he sat up to kiss me. The moment his lips touched mine, I felt relaxed again. He really was unfair. However, the moment itself was a heavy one as his tongue left me feeling hot again.

When he tugged away from me. I couldn’t help but feel beaten again. That sly smile on his lips. I wanted to erase it. Yet I had no more energy in me. My eyes were getting heavy too.

“Okay… I… I’m done. Stop using your new magic on me.” I sighed.

He chuckled, enjoying the victory.

“Okay, then come to my arms. We’ll figure this out together.” He simpered.

He really was something. I allowed myself to fall next to him. The pillow was so comfortable.

“Is this how you were in your other life, too?” I grumbled.

He pulled me to him. I always did like laying on his chest. The sound of his heart always eased me.

“I wouldn’t know. I can’t remember much. But I guess, I could’ve been. Grandma says no soul is ever alike, even in rebirth. Then again, they can have similar qualities too. Though remembering won’t change your new personality.” Loki informed.

His grandmother was the first spirit magic user. Although, his mother was also one. And so was his twin.

“I find that hard to believe.” I frowned, snuggling into his bare chest.

Then again, my rebirth differed from theirs. They merged my soul into this body before it had the chance of acquiring one. While his body was fused. Elias was part of him, as he had become part of the god, too.

This was a rare opportunity, too. He rarely ever slept without a shirt.

“Hm, you were more innocent in your book form I think.” He pointed out, chuckling.

Like he knew everything!

“I wasn’t!” I growled, feeling feisty again.

Though the moment I gazed at him, I was met by his lips. Eli cuddled behind me, too. When Loki separated from our moment. He seemed ready for more. Though I felt tired.

“Come, let me make you forget all that happened.” He murmured, lovingly.

I shook my head.

“No… Just hold me tightly for what’s left of tonight. Please?” I mumbled, slipping already.

His calming touch was too much. Though, what was affecting me was probably all the energy burst I threw out. There wasn’t an ounce left in me. And my headache was still present. Though less with every minute that passed.

“As my princess wishes. I love you, Vivi.” Loki cooed, cuddling me.

The next moment, I found myself in a peaceful slumber. One that I wouldn’t wake up from until the next afternoon. But that would be another moment of what this chaotic life had become. For now, my dreams were my peace, while I slept next to my beloved vampire.