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“Achoo!”

“Bless you.”

“Thanks- achoo!”

“Bless you again.”

Joshua couldn’t even thank his colleague again as he sneezed three times in a row, his fair face turning red from the attack.

“Are you ok?” Dave’s eyebrows were raised in concern.

“I’m fi- achoo!”

“You don’t sound fine. Maybe you should take the rest of the day off.”

“It’s ok. Just some allergic reaction. It’ll calm down after a while… achoo!”

Dave frowned as he looked at Josh. He was panting now from all the exertion as he reached for a tissue to staunch his runny nose. “I think you’ve got hay fever. Go see a doctor for some meds.”

“I’m fine, honest!” Josh blinked his watery eyes as he looked at his immediate superior.

“I can’t have you sneezing and scaring the heck out of everyone. Take a break today and come back tomorrow with your allergy medication.” Dave turned and looked at the clock on the wall behind Josh. “Besides, it’s about an hour before we clock off anyway. Just go home.”

Joshua sighed and proceeded to turn his computer off. Normally he’d be ecstatic to go home early but that was before. After tidying his desk he thanked Dave and left. A fresh, cold wind greeted him when he exited the premise and he hunched his shoulders, wrapping his scarf a little tighter around his face. Stopping by the pharmacy, he bought the necessary medications to calm his symptoms, sneezing several times while he spoke to the pharmacist. The pharmacist gave him a sympathetic smile while she rang up his purchases. After thanking her, he could only trudge back home, unable to even enjoy the fresh air or blooming flowers because they aggravated his symptoms.

He couldn’t believe he’d succumbed to hay fever… he grew up in the tropics for crying out loud! But then again, remembering his torturous school days in front of the chalkboard, he supposed he shouldn’t have been that surprised. A short stature as a child plus poor eyesight that did not let him sit away from the blackboard equalled to his useless friends betting on how many times he’d sneeze for the day. Even a friend from the next class could hear him sometimes.

He sighed as he unlocked the door to his apartment. Removing his shoes, he stowed them away in the shoe cabinet before changing into his indoor slippers – old habits die hard. The room echoed when he tossed his keys on the side table by the door. This was why he didn’t want to go home. Without bothering to turn on the lights to the dim room, he removed and tossed his outer wear and satchel onto the sofa before shuffling into his room. 

It’d been three months since he moved here but that was the extent of the apartment space that he used. The area near the front door for his items and his en-suite bedroom. On weekends, he’d take every opportunity he could to get out and explore the city. He didn’t want to stay in an apartment that echoed. It gave him time to think, which he didn’t want. He’d argued with HR when they showed him the apartment.

“It’s too big.”

“Sorry, this is the smallest we could get within your budget.”

“Can’t we just save and get something smaller?”

“That’s not how it works.”

“But I’m saving you money!”

“Look, Joshua. I know you want a smaller house and all but if we did that, after you leave, we’re going to have a hell of a time convincing accounts when we want to get something bigger for the next guy. And audit might give us a hard time because the last guy was single and staying in a bigger place. Don’t make trouble for us.”

“But…”

“It’s not like we’re short changing you or anything. This is what you’re entitled to as one of our imported experts. Just take it and enjoy it. Besides, you’ll have plenty of room when your family comes over…”

Left with no choice, he had had to accept the overly large apartment that he didn’t want. It wasn’t as if his family would come visit anyway. He’d run away from his problems back home. The quarrel with his father back then had been all but a one-sided blowout. The angry words echoed in the empty room.

“Get out! You’re nothing but a disgrace! Get out!”

“Dad!”

“Do you know that the neighbours are talking? Where do you want me to put my face huh?”

“Pa…” His quiet mother had tried to intervene.

“You be quiet! You don’t even dare to go out to the market anymore! Why are you still trying to defend him?”

“He’s still your son…”

“I don’t have a son like him! Liking men! You’re worse than your sister! What did I do wrong to be punished with children like you! Get out!”

 With that, he’d been unceremoniously chased out of the family home. Josh didn’t bother to pack anything. He’d been living outside for many years by then and his room back home was nothing more than a place to sleep when he went back to see his parents. There’d been a sense of detachment by then; his was a typical Asian family with a breadwinner – absent – father and stay-at-home mother. He and his sister were close but she’d left the house after his father disapproved of her then gwailo fiancé. She’d shrugged, said that women were married out anyway and didn’t step foot in the family home after that.

She was actually pretty close to him right now; only a two hour flight away, as opposed to the twenty hour one from before. But he still hadn’t gone to see her. He’d promised that he would but he kept making excuses. He had a feeling he would break down when he saw the big sister that had always had his back. Josh had refused to admit it but his father’s rejection back then had hurt. 

He hadn’t been sure that he liked men then but he just knew that he didn’t like women. Blame it on his upbringing; he studied in an all-boys school all the way to university with the explicit warning from his parents that it was his duty to study and not fool around. By the time he got to university, he was shy and awkward around the bright, giggly girls that he preferred being alone or hanging out with his male friends. It got better when he entered the working world but again, he’d been so focused on building his career that thoughts of lovers and family were tossed to the far end of his ‘to-do’ list. Lying on his bed, Josh sighed as he remembered the situations and conversations that had brought it all crashing down.

“Yammmmmmm seng!” It was at a wedding of one of his old school mates.

“Come on, drink up.” his rowdy crew were forcing another glass of whiskey down the groom’s throat, despite the good-natured protests from him and his bride. Everyone had been in a good mood and even after the wedding dinner, they decided to go for another round of drinks, seeing how long ago they had gotten together.

“So, you should be next, Josh! When are we going to get the card?”

Joshua had only smiled quietly when they asked. He was one of the last and between him and his other friend, everyone thought that he had better chances of settling down.

“Idiot! Why is it Josh next? Why can’t it be me?”

“When you earn big money like Josh, drive a fancy car like him, then you can get married.” His friends were bantering with one another.

“Weh, I already have a girlfriend. I should be next what?”

“That’s true. Hey Josh, what about you?”

He had smiled again, shrugging his shoulders. “When you earn big money and drive a fancy car like me, where got time to get a girlfriend?”

“Are you serious bro? The girls should be lining up to date you. Do you know? My mother has talked my ears off about you. How you’re so successful and all. Now I look like a useless bum compared to you.”

“No la. I just got lucky.” He was down playing his achievements and joking with his friends when one of his old classmates looked at him in the eye and asked. “Josh, you’re not gay, are you?”

The boisterous, half-drunk group immediately quieted down, all of them with incredulous looks on their face. Josh was immediately flustered.

“Choi! What nonsense are you talking about?”

“I had to ask. Look, even Fatty’s gotten married.” He pointed at their overweight friend to the sounds of his indignant “Oi!”

 “And Lim might not have gotten married yet but at least he’s got a girlfriend. We’ve never seen you with any other girl except your sister.”

“Just because I don’t have a girlfriend you call me gay? What kind of friend are you?”

“Don’t get angry la. I’m just asking out of concern. If you want, I can introduce some girls to you. Even my sister is interested in you. Be my brother for real la.” So that had been the reason… Everyone burst into laughter but Josh could not calm down. Was he really gay? He’d never even thought about it. So he agreed to meet with his friend’s sister. It was better to quash any rumours straight away. But they never clicked. She was fun loving and liked to hang out at happening places while Joshua preferred to be at home with his books. After a few dates, he decided to tell her the truth, hoping that she’d understand. She was rather insulted and had shouted at him at the restaurant.

“So you’re really gay like my brother said?! Why the hell did I waste my time with a freak like you?” 

She had left in a huff and the damage was done. Someone started spreading rumours that he wasn’t straight and his friends started getting awkward around him. The gossip came back to his parents which culminated in the falling out with his father. When he was offered the post in the main branch overseas, he’d jumped at the offer and never looked back. He hadn’t even bothered to tell his parents, only informing his sister in case she made a missing person’s report. And now, he was where he was, in an empty apartment that was too big for him, in a country as far from the familiar as possible, nursing an empty, disappointed heart. And a bad allergy attack; he was hit with another wave of sneezing that hurt his chest when he was done. Massaging his chest and trying to breathe, he got out of bed and went to get his medication. Realizing that he needed to eat something before he could take the antihistamines, he looked ruefully at his empty fridge and spotless kitchen. The day just couldn’t get any worse.

* * * * *

“I’m glad your allergies are getting better. But you look much thinner now.”

“I just don’t have any appetite.” Josh shrugged. 

“Yeah, but you still need to eat.”

Josh groaned and put his head on the table. “Rice! I want rice! I’d kill for a good plate of fried rice right now…” Most of the food he’d been having were either too dry, too rich or too greasy. It had been fine initially but four months in, he was hankering for his mother’s home cooked meal; even if he hadn’t tasted it for nearly half a year.

“I know a good place.” A voice he didn’t recognize spoke up. He looked up to see a tall white guy with blond brown hair and light brown eyes looking at him, smiling at his antics.

“Oh, hey, Josh. You haven’t met Erick yet. He’s one of our IT engineers. Until last year, he was at your country’s branch, actually. Erick, this is Joshua, the regional sales and development analyst.” Dave made the introductions.

Josh frowned, trying to recollect if he’d met this man before. He’d been with the company for five or so years already after all.

“I don’t think we’ve met. I was always stuck at my seat the whole time trying to get the system up and running.”

“I remember… everyone was cursing HQ for insisting we switch to that buggy system…” he paused, abashed. “Sorry…”

“It was a buggy system.” Erick shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, everyone’s gotten used to the system now and they’ll admit that it’s more efficient.” Josh tried to be diplomatic.

“Don’t be too happy too soon.” Erick gave a small smile. “The contract’s expiring soon and there’s talks of getting a different system, since everyone was complaining about it.”

There were groans all over the office floor. No one wanted to learn another new system. It took forever.

“Hey, don’t get too down. The contract’s still got a few more years to go, so it won’t be anytime soon.”

“Let’s hope I retire before they do…” an older colleague muttered gloomily. It lightened the mood and everybody had a good laugh. Josh turned back to Erick and smiled, pushing his slightly skewed glasses back into place.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I know a pretty good Chinese place. The fried rice there is good.”

Josh turned to him, his eyes shining. “Really? Let’s go there for lunch!” 

Dave shook his head and looked at Erick “Did you want something?”

“Oh yeah, someone was complaining that they were having problems extracting the data for their sales team. I tried troubleshooting over the phone. We both gave up.”

“Ah, Erick, over here.” another colleague waved and Erick walked over to that cubicle. Josh stared at the lean and firm body; for an IT specialist, he was quite toned. He shrugged and got back to work. After a while, he leaned back and stretched.

“Done?” a voice from out of the blue startled him.

“Whoa!” he turned to see Erick smiling at him.

“Are you done? It’s lunch time, let’s go.”

That was when Josh looked at the clock and realized he was right. “Crap! Sorry! Were you waiting all this while?” he rushed to tidy his things and save his data.

“No problem. I didn’t want to bother you when you’re working.” Erick was leaning patiently against the low cubicle partition while he waited.

“Done! Let’s go… Dave? Want to join us?” It wouldn’t do to not invite his friend and boss from his unit. Dave who was on the phone pointed at his lunch bag and waved them away. Josh and Erick gave him a smile and walked out of the office together.

“His wife must have made that, as usual.”

“So he doesn’t go out for lunch with you?”

“Normally no. I think he’s been warned to watch his diet.”

“Dave? Seriously?”

“Yeah. He always looks at the boiled chicken like he’s going to die.” Josh smiled at the memory.

“But there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with him.”

“Crunch time is a big bucket of stress, actually, and his wife was nagging him by saying if he didn’t look after his health now, it’d be too late for regrets when anything happened.”

“Wow…” 

They exited and Josh happily took in a deep breath. The meds were a godsend and he could actually function normally as long as he took them.

“Where to?”

“This way.” Josh followed the taller man as he led him past several blocks and was surprised to see a small Chinese restaurant tucked in between a butchery and a supermarket. He had not been down this road, actually, seeing as it specialized in mostly produce. He had not bothered to explore it, preferring to go to the other eateries his colleagues had brought him to. He sighed with regret; it was actually so close to the office.

“You’ve never been here before, I take it?”

“No, I didn’t know there was a restaurant here.”

“But surely you come here to buy some groceries now and then? The bread there is really good and cheap.” He pointed to a bakery near the corner.

Josh gave a wry smile. “I don’t cook much…”

“Anyway, let’s go in.” Erick gave an understanding smile.

They entered and were seated after a while. Thanks to Josh’s delay, they had to wait for an empty table. But looking at the steady number of customers in the tiny eatery got his hopes up.

“We’ll have a plate of fried rice, the cashew chicken and a stir-fried vegetable.” Erick looked at Josh. “Anything else?”

“Is there anything spicy?”

“Add one chilli fried beef. And a pot of tea.” He smiled and handed the menu back to the waiter.

“You come here often?”

“Yeah… it can’t compare to some of the hawkers in your country but it can fix a craving now and then.”

“How long were you there anyway?”

“Two, two and half years, give or take.”

“Wow. It must’ve been hard on you.”

“Not really. When all’s said and done, the weather there was better than here. And don’t get me started on the food.”

“Yeah… I miss the food back home too.”

Erick looked surprised. “Don’t you cook?”

There was an awkward pause. “I can’t cook.” It was hard to look dignified when he was admitting a simple fault like that.

“Not a single thing?”

“I’ve been known to burn eggs before. And there was that one time I wanted to make cup noodles but forgot that I had left the kettle on the fire… I scorched my mum’s kettle and got a lifetime ban…” he rubbed his head in embarrassment.

“Don’t tell me you’re the type to add soap when you wash the rice…”

“Of course not! I’m not that stupid…” there was a pause and Erick leaned forward to try and catch Josh’s mumbling.

“Sorry?”

“Mumble mumble mumble…”

“I still didn’t catch that…”

“I said half the rice ends up in the sink when I rinse it.” His face was as red as the tablecloth before him. Erick didn’t say anything, his hand solemnly over his mouth and chin. But Josh could see that his shoulders were shaking, even in the dim light.

“Go ahead and laugh…” He’d been resigned to it, actually.

“Pfft… sorry… it’s mean of me…” He couldn’t continue as his shoulders kept shaking.

Josh turned to look at the plain décor of the shop while he waited for Erick to regain his composure. 

“Ok, sorry about that.” Erick took a sip of tea and faced Josh with a serious look on his face.

Josh shrugged. “I grew up with my mother preparing all my meals. And she was the type to kick me out of the kitchen when I was younger. I was better off studying than to step in and track grease all over the house, she said.”

“But you must have learned when you left the house, right?”

“I got busy with work and why learn when there’s a restaurant every other shop?”

“That’s true…”

“I took it all for granted… my own fault.” He could only give himself a self-deprecating smile.

“Tell you what, as an apology, let me make you a home cooked meal. The kind you’d find when you’re in your country.”

“You can cook?” Josh was impressed.

“Yeah, a man’s gotta eat. And eating out here is a killer to the wallet…” Unlike back home. Josh could only nod in agreement. He was starting to feel the pinch. They chatted about inconsequential matters until the food arrived. Like Erick promised, it was good. After four months in a faraway country, Josh’s homesickness was assuaged a little with just a bowl of rice. They argued over who would foot the bill, finally agreeing that Josh would pay this time, since Erick had been the one to recommend the place. 

On the way back, they stopped at the bakery that Erick had pointed out. As Josh sniffed the freshly baked bread and muffins that he bought, he couldn’t keep the contentment out of his heart. The budding trees swaying in the spring breeze seemed to agree. The rest of the day was going to be good.

* * * * *