It's the middle of the night when we wake, but since we're planning on going into a dark hole, it probably doesn't matter.

Having the lantern, Dwayne goes first. I watch his curly blue locks as he descends. He calls up, "Looks like this is their burrow."

When I get down there, I see what he means. It's an earthen room that looks like it was dug out with bare hands. There are four nests of rags and other refuse packed into the tight space. There's also a small chest.

Dwayne says, "See, I told you it would be worthwhile coming down here." And he goes to open it.

"Wait! We should check for traps."

He looks at me. "I don't have that skill. Do you?" I shake my head. His lips twist with concern before he leans back and flips the lid open. Nothing happens.

The chest is full of coins some of them gold. We split them, and then investigate the only door in the room. If you can call it a door. (If you can call the excavated cavity of earth a room.) 

Several planks of raw timber are nailed together and wedged into a crevice in one of the walls.

"Well, there's no way this is trapped," Dwayne says, looking at the haphazard construction and pries it loose. Cold air escapes from the passage. It's full of the fetid scent of decay.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I ask.

"Sheesh!" he says. "What kind of game did you think you were going to play? One where you picked flowers and did crafts? Come on. Let's clear this dungeon."

Dwayne's words annoy me. Sure, I'm being cautious, but it's not like I hadn't done dungeon crawls before. I just preferred them when I'm part of a well-balanced party. We're two low-level mages. It wouldn't take a hell of a lot to barrel through us without a tank and a healer present. But before I can put my objections into words, he's plowing on into the narrow tunnel. 

Part of me wants to turn back and leave him to whatever fate his stupidity leads him, but I'm not looking forward to being on my own again. So, I follow. 

The tunnel eventually widens, but when it does we're attacked by creatures the system calls Dread Moles. They're about the size of large house cats with dark brown fur, but their face appears to be more like a bat's. They have blind black eyes and bizarrely shaped faces with lots of swirling wrinkles. They let out this hissing high-pitched squeal, so I assume they're using echolocation and the similarity to bats isn't just in their appearance.

We reserve our magic and hack our way through a horde of them (well nearly two dozen anyhow) with only a few minor bites and scratches. They're all level 1 and have to get in close to attack. I'm able to dispatch each of them in two or three attacks. And I'm almost enjoying it. Well, enjoying it isn't the right way to put it. But I'm happy it's not too hard and I'm gaining experience.

But then we emerge into a larger chamber, and things don't seem so easy anymore.

The cave is about three stories high with a series of burrowed tunnels opening into it at various heights. The floor is scattered with gnawed bones. In the center, on a raised mound of earth, is a huge fat Dread Mole that's at least five times the size of the others. It lolls on its platform like a sultan, and its belly is puckered with rows of swollen nipples. The face is even uglier than the small ones with the wrinkled skin bloated into tumor-like bumps. It's surrounded by at least ten of the small ones. And they all look pretty peeved we've shown up. 

The big-mama lets out a shriek that seems to rip open my ear drums, and I notice that my Life Force drops.

I immediately respond with my Wail. A couple flee into one of the tunnels, but the rest come charging at us. All except for big-mama who stays sitting on her pedestal and screeching her ear-piercing shriek. We can't just fight off the small ones while she's doing that. We'll be reduced to zero life by her sonic attack in no time. 

I rush for the giant mole, cutting my way through the lesser enemies on my way. I just hope Dwayne is following me. I critically hit one and kill it in a single stroke. I waste no time and bring it back to life, sending it after it's former master.

The beast is no longer shrieking, she switches to a new attack and gauges three deep cuts across my chest with her claws. The pain is blinding. Not only can I feel the searing shock of the rents in my skin, but the wack to my breasts hurts just as much as a kick in the groin used to.

I suck life from my enemy, while Dwayne uses his mass attack wave on the all of the moles as they swarm us. I simply let the transfer of life flow until I get a critical and max out my Life Force. With the last of my magic, I switch to the Dance of Death. Dwayne has been reducing the number of the moles, but we still have plenty attacking us, so I figured an attack on everything in range might be the most beneficial. And it pays off,  and we get rid of what's left of the little guys, then Dwayne sends his water tornado at the big one and finishes it off.

We have about a one second breather before six more of the creatures drop into the room. With my magic gone, I have little choice but to use my knife. It isn't too difficult of a battle, but they keep coming in. It's not a swarm, just a trickle, but it's enough to push us back on our heels as our Life Force gets chipped away little by little. Just when we think we're done, a whole bunch more pour through the holes in the walls.

Dwayne curses and downs a health potion, "Goddamn! That's my last one. Went through a ton of those in this fight. This character-build fucking sucks."

I have one potion of mysticism and I was hoping to save it, but I decide to drink it and dance these reinforcements to their death. One round of the spell wounds them enough that we quickly dispatch them with our melee weapons. When it's all over, I have 2 Life Force points left and I'm level 3.

I notice that the new level boosts my Mystic Energy, allowing me to cast five spells instead of four with a full energy pool.

It takes about an hour to search the entire lair, but we pull in a pretty good hall of loot. Although it's not an even number of anything and it's a little hard to divide up. We start with the equipment since two of the pieces seem custom made for Dwayne. There's a tier 2 trident that easily replaces his old one, and a set of blue gloves that matches his swim costume. Although, gloves isn't quite the right word for them, they cover the arms in a sheath of see-through silk and have a loop to hook onto the thumb but don't actually cover the hands. 

"Ugh! These are way too girly. You take them," he says.

"But they match your outfit and they're your size. They won't fit me."

Very begrudgingly he takes them only because, as he puts it, "They boost my stats."

But this means he forces the magic belly-ring we find on me. It's a silver owl with two clear gems for eyes. It's monochrome coloring doesn't trigger my restrictions, and it boosts my Mystic Energy enough for two more spells. But it does seem ridiculously cutsie. Like something I'd see co-eds wearing around campus in warm weather with their cut off shorts and crop-tops.

There's also a black thong with a defense bonus which will actually compensate for the penalty I get from wearing one. But if anything, it's even skimpier than the last one and instead of being cotton, it's lace. I tell myself it's only a game and switch out my inventory.

The rest takes a while and a lot of arguing to sort out. Dwayne ends up getting more money in terms of item value, but has more to lug. Whereas I end up with more of the coins, which works out better considering my limited inventory slots. 

There are dozens of tunnels leading out of the chamber but only two large enough for us: the one we came through and another passage leading off to the right. I try and make the case that we should count our blessing and retreat back to the barn, but Dwayne won't hear it.

"What are you talking about? We're kicking ass. I'm seeing this through to the end with or without you."

"You said yourself your character isn't strong enough for this. And you went through four health potions in the last battle." He'd gained two more from the loot but that might not be enough to get him through a tough fight.

He waves this off as though I'm making it up. "Stop being such a baby. Fortune favors the bold and all that shit. Let's go."

Once again, I find myself trudging after him, feeling ill-used. I really should go back on my own, but he'd probably die if I did. And, selfishly, I'd probably die too. We need to stick together if we have any chance at all.

The tunnel starts off being all carved out dirt as though a huge worm made it, but after a while it becomes stone. The floor turns into smooth cobbles and the walls are made of irregular field stones. We're entering some sort of construction, so it doesn't surprise us too much when we reach an iron door. It isn't locked and pushes open with the haunted-house creek of rusted hinges.

We enter a tomb. Bodies lay on shelves carved like nooks into the walls, and a stone sarcophagus sits in the middle. We're barely inside, when a figure slips out of the shadows. 

A ragged looking woman with long white hair and short black dress faces us. Her dress shows off voluptuous cleavage and lots of leg, but her skin has a pasty gray look and a bit of a cottage cheese texture. Also, her eyes glow red, and she has fangs like a vampire with two more coming up from her lower jaw. I hit the detect feature.

The thing is a disgusting rotting corpse. I don't think anyone will be having sex with it any time soon. It seems like a dumb way to drain life.

Dwayne says, "Hey, she kind of looks like you."

The insult makes the tips of my ears burn and it takes a second before I wonder why I'm upset by being called unattractive.

The iron door slams shut and the lich says, "It has been so long since I've had visitors. Welcome! Now, come here and let me fuck you."

Dwayne begins walking toward her. "Yes, mistress," he says.