It's early the next morning by the time we're all awake and ready to get going again. The sun casts a golden glow through the mist covering the far off hills. Mounds really, since they aren't anything to climb so much as stationary waves on a calm frozen sea.

Even fully healed Dwayne doesn't look great. Shadows mark the area around his eyes making them appear sunken and hollow. His skin isn't as white as mine but looks sickly and anemic. It's developing the texture of a soft cheese.

I say, "Maybe in town you'll be able to find a healer to help you with— "

He immediately get's agitated and shushes me while glancing over at Astra. He obviously doesn't want her to learn that he's turning into a demi-lich. So I finish by saying vaguely, "Your problem."

"I don't have any problems. You're the one with the problems."

So much for trying to be helpful.

The village tuns out to be only a couple of hours away from our campsite. We start passing farms first. Small homesteads with low-roofed stone houses and larger barns. The ones on the outskirts seem to mostly be raising sheep. But the ones closer to town contain patches where the grasslands have been cleared and cultivated with meager crops.

The town itself is walled. Teetering stone towers stick up at regular intervals, but the walls between them are wooden, composed of narrow tree trunks stripped of their bark and filed to a point on top. Two of the towers flank the gate. Guards look down from both of them with crossbows, while another ten or so mill about by the entrance. Their uniforms are nothing special. They seem to be wearing peasant garb with royal-blue capes and identical iron helms that cover only the crown of their heads. Most are human although there's a couple of cat-people in the mix (happily, they are wearing pants). And it's about a half male and half female split, suggesting Feronia is more egalitarian than real life.

A tall (very tall) human woman with a silver pin on the breast of her shirt approaches us. Her blonde hair is cut short and severe. "What business do have in Givinghead?"

"Excuse me," Astra says with a slight giggle. "What was that last word you said?"

"Givinghead. This village is named after our founder, the honorable Lord Givinghead." Astra titters a bit more at this and Dwayne rolls his eyes.

Channeling my best fantasy character self, I say, "We're here to purchase supplies and to see if there are any quests we might embark on."

The interaction catches the attention of the other guards and they come closer to listen to my answer. I notice that all of them are taller than us. Often being the tallest one in the room, it feels very strange. Why are they all abnormally large?

Crap!

Their not abnormally large, are they?

Yup. I check my character sheet. I don't know how I missed it before, but it says it right there 4'8". I'm no halfling, but I'm beyond small for a human. At least Astra is about the same height. I'm not sure why, but that makes me feel better.

The head Givinghead guard asks, "And where will you be staying?"

"Um. I don't know. We might not even stay the night," I say, my neck straining to look up at her face.

"Sorry. All visitors must have confirmed lodgings."

"Why do we need some dumb inn?" Dwayne says. "When we can just set a sleep timer anywhere?"

"This is a clean, moral town. We don't want vagrants filling our streets."

Astra jumps in, "But how can we get lodging, if we can't enter."

The woman scratches her blonde hair. "Are you a member of the Wayfairer's Guild?"

"No," Astra answers for all of us.

"Well, that rules that out. And since I doubt you are related to any members of the guard or the Council that leaves only one option. The Horn and Hole."

"I'm sensing a theme," Astra whispers.

"You will need to pay me 1 gold for the lodgings and 2 silver for my time and trouble."

"For an inn?!?" Dwayne screams. "That's a total rip off! In the old game, inns were a few silvers at most."

"I know not of this elder game you speak of, but if you do not like this arrangement, you may continue on your way." She points out to the land to the left of the village. "The town of Orally is a four day trek that way."

I can tell Dwayne is gearing up for a fight, so I step in and hand over my coins. When Astra says she doesn't have enough, I pay for her as well. 

"I promise, I'll pay you back as soon as I off-load my pelts." She'd leveled up hunting game which hadn't provided her with many coins or gems.

Dwayne says to me, "Cover me too?"

"You have the money. I know because we've split all the treasure we've found."

"Come on, be a pal. There's no way I'm paying their outrageous prices," he glares at the head guard. "You don't want me wandering the wilderness all by myself do you?" He bats his long eyelashes while looking up at me with puppy-dog eyes.

When I go to get the money, Astra says, "Hell, no! Let him pay his own way."

"You let her pay for you!"

"It's a loan not a gift. I'm going to get the money back to her. Stop being such a sponge!"

Dwayne is fuming and stomping around. I must have looked a bit stunned at her outburst because Astra says to me, "I'm sorry, but I don't like to see good people get used by selfish bastards."

In the end, when I don't give him the coins, Dwayne pays his own way in. The tall blonde calls a cat-man over with a ledger of sorts. She writes our names into a roll and then fills out three vouchers and hands them to us.

"Horn and Hole — 1 night + 2 meals."  With her signature at the bottom, which is little more than a scrawl.

"If you plan on staying longer, bring proof of your payment back here or you'll be sleeping in the stocks."

"As if you could," Dwayne grumbles.

The guard responds, "Whether you're clothed while in the stocks is entirely up to my discretion." Her subordinates laugh at this and give us evil leers.

Inside the walls, the village is smaller than I expect. There are five main buildings set out like points of a star with a statue in the middle. Some other smaller buildings are built into the village walls themselves. The first of the larger structures (just left of the gate) is the barracks for the guards. It's an imposing squat building made out of stones with narrow windows like arrow-slits. Out front, facing the statue, are six sets of stocks looking like something from Colonial Williamsburg, only two of them are half the size of the rest. I guess they're for Fairy-Folk species. 

The building on the right is the Wayfairer's Guild. It' a wooden structure with galleries in the front on both of its stories.

"Do either of you know what the Wayfairer's Guild is all about?" I ask.

Neither of them do. But we've all played enough RPGs to know being a guild member could give us advantages, so we go inside and ask about it. The squirrelly man who greets us informs us that it's a guild for travelling merchant. Not being merchants ourselves, we can't join. But he offers us a job to guard a caravan for 10 coppers a day (minus food and supplies). We tell him that we'll think about it. I don't know about the others, but it sounds like a crap deal.

In the middle of the star is a public space with a statue of Lord Givinghead. The fact that he's posed down on one knee with his mouth open speaking or praying does absolutely nothing to distract from his unfortunate name.

After Dwayne spouts off several childish and filthy comments about the village's founder, we cross back over the square and see that the building up beyond the barracks is the residence and offices for the Lord and his Council. It's also stone, but the masonry looks a lot more solid and professional and the architecture is more that of a regal house rather than a crude fortress, like the barracks.

At the top of the star is a stone church that is clearly the oldest building in the place. It looks as though a strong breeze will topple it over. Especially the spire, which tilts to the right and then to the left as if constructed by a group of drunks. The church worships a harvest god that none of us feel like pledging to. Dwayne's holding out for a warrior god, and Astra wants a forest god. For myself, the system tells me I can only receive the patronage of gods of death or the underworld.

This leaves the inn, which looks similar to the Guild's wooden construction only larger and a bit more ornate. We decide to check in and make sure there's not going to be a problem with the vouchers.

A cat-woman in a dress that appear to be made entirely of red feathers greats us. "Greetings! Greetings!" she says hustling over to us. Her wide hips and breast look like they're fighting her forward progress, bouncing this way and that with each step. There's a maturity to her bearing as though she is much older than her physical appearance would indicate.

She seems to have been waiting for us (or any customer) in a casually decorated room with a few low couches and oil lamps. A lobby I guess. An intricately carved door is the only indication there's more to this business.

I say, "We got some vouchers at the gate."

She tsks. "Next time pre-pay, and I'll make sure you get a deal. Those guards rob me blind." Dwayne shoots a glare at me as if saying, I told you so. "Anyway you're here and that's the important thing. Would you like to choose your companions now are wait until nightfall."

She opens the carved door, while Astra asks, "What do you mean companions?"

The door reveals a bar of sorts. Only it's not the rough beer soaked tavern of most fantasy villages. The dimly lit room is full of brightly colored sofas and chairs with small dark wood tables strategically placed to rest a drink. Pillows are scattered about everywhere, and all sorts of people lounge around. Their eyes turn to us. The conversation stops.

"What kind of inn is this?" Astra asks before the cat-woman can answer her first question.

"Inn?" She says. "No. Not an inn. We're a brothel, sweetie."

Dwayne says, "Hot damn!"