“...eh?” 

 

Shun stared at the fat blob sitting at the desk. He blinked and realized that it was actually a man whose body had been blown way out of proportion.

 

The wooden chair which struggled to support his sheer mass creaked loudly as the man leaned forward. “Private Shun, did you not hear my orders?” 

 

With that action alone, his military uniform was stretched to its limits. Shun felt that the fat bulging from his bloated belly was so obscene it was to the point of hilarity. Yet, he didn’t laugh out loud because of an innate fear that the man commanded over him.

 

Heʼs my commander, but I donʼt remember ever being in the army? 

 

“Sorry, sir. Can you explain it to me again?” A childlike yet weary voice came out of him, surprising himself. Is this really my voice? I thought mine sounded way deeper...

 

The Commander sighed and rested his massive elbows on the messy desk, his face buried within his large hairy hands. “As I clearly said just now, you are selected to be the Kingdom’s envoy to the Principality of Elysium…”

 

The surreal feeling of déjà vu came rushing back. The Principality of Elysium…Elysium…wait a minute. 

 

He suddenly remembered where he had heard that name before—it was the name of a newly-released game he bought at a video game store after work.

 

「 Elysium: Legends Royale」

 

Oh, thatʼs right. She sent me to this world. 

 

The strange-looking girl suddenly appeared before me while I was entering my dingy apartment. Strange-looking not because of her outward appearance, but because she immediately had a disgusted look on her face as she floated a few inches over the floor. 

 

“In five minutes, you will slip on a puddle in the shower and hit your head against the wall, thereby dying from a brain hemorrhage,” she stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

 

I expected myself to recoil in shock, to blush or to, you know, act like a loner man would when a beautiful girl materialized before you all of a sudden. However, the long work day had already tired me out, so my fatigued mind struggled to comprehend what even happened.

 

“W-wha…” I gulped and slowly stepped back. “Er, who are you?” 

 

“A higher being—well, I guess you can call me God.” 

 

“Uh…does this God have business with me or something?” 

 

“Didnʼt you hear me earlier?” she remarked curiously. “I just predicted your death, you know?” 

 

“Oh…” I paused, trying to figure out what she meant by saying that. I am going to die? Is it my time now? What is happening?

 

“So, um, what do you want me to do?” 

 

She gave me a wide smile which made me uneasy. “Become my first reincarnation subject.” 

 

Reincarnation, huh. So the afterlife does exists.

 

I shook my head and tried to focus my mind. “Uh, but, why me?” 

 

“Well, you wanted to die anyways, didnʼt you?” She smirked. “You cut off contact with your abusive family since high school. You never dated anyone. Youʼre exploited by a black company, but you canʼt leave because you never finished college.”

 

Hearing her describe my pathetic life straight to my face made me feel an indescribable emotion. Something like fury and sadness at the same time.

 

I wanted her to shut up and leave my sight—but all she said was indeed the truth. 

 

A wave of helplessness washed over me. 

 

“So, what Iʼm offering is a deal.” She clapped her hands in delight. “You reincarnate in the world of a game you like and enjoy a brand new life—I’ll even make sure it suits your tastes—while I get to meet my quota and relax for the rest of the year~” 

 

“You—” Her cheekiness was getting onto my nerves, but I couldnʼt deny being enticed by her offer. 

 

“...fine, I'll accept it.”

 

But first, I had to tell her one crucial thing she seemed to be oblivious of.

 

“I donʼt play RPGs, you know?” 

 

“...huh?” She swiped across the air in front of her with a finger. “Eh, wait, what's this?”

 

She began to panic all of a sudden. “PU*G, Overw*tch, Valor*nt—what kind of games are these?? Donʼt people like you only play fantasy games?” 

 

“Well, I just bought a fantasy game if that counts…” I held up the small plastic bag in my hand. “But it’s a battle royal game, so—” 

 

Her face lit up like the brightest light bulb in the world. She grabbed the game from my hand and tapped something on her invisible screen.

 

“No worries, Iʼll just tweak some parts here and there to make it a habitable world. I want to quickly eat my dessert~” 

 

Oi, isnʼt this God a bit too irresponsible? Maybe I shouldnʼt have— 

 

“Well, off you go then. Bye-bye!” 

 

A blinding white light enveloped me. When I opened my eyes, I was already inside the office. 

 

I remember everything now.  

 

That was my past life, huh. So this world is supposed to be that game…   

 

“But where the hell am I?” Shun asked suddenly, his eyes darting around the dimly-lit office which eerily resembled the one he used to work at. Cabinets were left open and unattended, paper strewn into random piles in corners, and he swore he saw a cockroach-like insect crawling into a hole in the wall. “What is this place, a glorified garbage bin?”

 

The Commander gave an annoyed glare at his snark remark. “Private, don’t ask irrelevant questions while I’m going through the details.”

 

“No, sir, with all due respect…where am I?”

 

The「 Elysium: Legends Royale」that the past me remembered was a straightforward game—the only goal was to be the last player alive. The selling point was the various fantasy maps across different time periods where players can choose to play in; from a Mesopotamian civilization in the Bronze Age to the titular Elysium, which was modelled after a certain 1930s European dictatorship. 

 

She did say some changes would be made to the world, but why am I reincarnated as a young soldier...?

 

Heck, soldiers weren’t even part of the game! What in the— 

 

“PRIVATE SHUN,” the Commander squealed furiously. “Have you stopped daydreaming? Report to the square at 6 in the morning SHARP. Dismissed.” 

 

“Y-yes, sir!” Shun did a meek salute and ran out of the cramped office of the Commander that would have sent the WHO searching for a new variant of the coronavirus. 

 

As soon as he felt like it was safe, he gave that fat pig the finger out of sight. “Alright, that makes me feel much better.” 

 

Shun began to think about the situation at hand. “First, where am I. He mentioned something about the Kingdom, so this should be the Kingdom map…”

 

The official name of the map was Arcadia, one of the starting maps available to players. A medieval Kingdom set in the Late Middle Ages, it featured an elaborate fortress and maze-like dungeons that appealed to solo players.

 

But right now, this whole place is totally unfamiliar to me. I definitely need some information.

 

With that thought, Shun tried to approach the nearest soldier. “Hi, I need to ask you something...”

 

“Huh?” The soldier snarled back. “Know your place, you little piece of sh*t!” 

 

Hey, no need to curse at me like that…wait, why was it censored? 

 

Curious, he tried to say the word out loud. 

 

“Sh*t!” 

 

Eh? 

 

“F*ck! C***! Wh***! *****!!” 

 

Don’t tell me…that girl implemented the f*cking profanity filter from the game chat?!

 

Oi, are you serious? Why the f*ck are my thoughts censored too??  

 

“I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN!”

 

A punch came flying into Shun’s face, sending him flying into the dirt.

 

The soldier stomped on his limp body with his boot. “F*cking piece of cr*p kid who thinks his f*cking ego can…” His furious voice faded into nothingness. 

 

Am I losing my consciousness just from that one punch? This boy is too weak… 

 

Ah, sh*t, why can’t I start in a city or something? The military, really? What the hell is that God thinking? I need to get out of this sh*thole and find my harem immediately!!

 

Sorry, Shun. Blame that sorry excuse of a God for reincarnating this bastard into your body, alright? But trust me, I shall embark on the best harem-seeking crusade for you! I promise! Definitely!!

 

The name of our reincarnated MC, Shun, is pronounced 'shoon'. A weird name for someone in the Kingdom, the fat pig (Hey, I'm the Commander!) notes.  

Message from "God" - this is a family-friendly (maybe) story but our MC likes to curse too much while playing his FPS games, so suck it up, MC.

Next chapter will feature more antics and some worldbuilding...who am I kidding, I can't worldbuild. "God" will try, though! Please look forward to it~